Thank you for making me think about the future.
For starters it would be good to restructure your heading, Future Next to Perfect. It sounds as if you thought; okay my story is about the future now what do I write with it.
If you insist on keeping it as it is then it might be best to put a separation between Future and Next to perfect. Something like "Future; Next to perfect". This way it gives pause for thinking; another way to write it is, A Next to Perfect Future
The way you have it written at the moment, it's as if it was translated word for word from french to english.
Another thing I've noticed is that you often write the word "We" alot. It would be better to use other words it its place.
Restructuring sentences like this one would go a little further
We always donít use navigation devices in cars to see our destinations a head of us.
The words always and don't should be reversed
So that it would read We don't always
I'm looking forward to reading your revised version.
Timing is everything! love, peace, pleasure, prosperity to all
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.