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Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.

i had to stop writing once.

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Old 10-29-2013, 01:21 PM
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bcoxville89 (Offline)
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Default i had to stop writing once.

I had to stop writing once.
Memories to real,
Some to dark to see,
It was strange.

But even then
I sat alone with my thoughts.
Still confused by dreams and facts.

I Think
reality slips a little each day.
Then it's gone

So I started writing again,
With hopes
It would help me remember
And sometimes forget.

Isn't that strange?

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Old 10-29-2013, 02:08 PM
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I've finally learned you're the male in the photo and, as noted prior, a very talented male at that! This piece is no exception: you have a wonderful, lighthearted imagination that will take you far.

Want to encourage you to loose the beautiful woman in the icon, for the reason she's not you. (I know what it is to have one's identity merged into a couple: I've lived this meme myself.)

But she's not writing the poems, you are. The face you want to present to the world is your face because you are the author. If you want to establish an identity in the literary world (a brand) it pretty much has to be your identity. Trying to market yourself as a couple complicates things - wouldn't you agree?

As for the writing you are blowing it at the moment and there's no reason to do this: you're better than what you've presented today.

Another Member noted the seriousness of poetry: it has to be top-of-the line writing and every comma counts. If a poem disappoints in the very first stanza then why would anyone continue to read it further? More than any other form poetry must get it right from word one or it doesn't work.

All you need do is type (or write) your sentences as prose to see the errors you are making:

Memories to real, Some to dark to see, It was strange.

Written this way we see:

1. The first two to's are supposed to be spelled "too."
2. The capitalization is way off.

I'm asking you to stick with what you're doing but upgrade your form...it shouldn't be that difficult to do!

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Old 10-29-2013, 03:01 PM
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bcoxville89 (Offline)
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Wow, thank you Lance, such an informative reply!

First off, about the picture, I'm not really trying to but a brand on myself or any of my writings. I write to get all the "stuff" out of me i cant otherwise realize that was there and i come here to share it with the forum population for them to hopefully enjoy. having said that if i ever were to get serious about publishing and getting my stuff out there then a picture just of myself would make complete sense. My work life is far from poetry, not that that really matters lol

I didn't even see the grammar mistakes until you explained it like you did, may have been because i posted that piece with my phone , which also for some reason capitalizes the first word of every sentence but i will be editing this very soon so thanks for the tips!

and also wanted to thank you for posting this:

"put aside the very idea of poetry - instead write simple descriptive sentences, one after another, until you run out of things to describe. Then do the same thing again the next day."

it inspired me to write this

Last edited by bcoxville89; 10-29-2013 at 03:03 PM..
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The Following User Says Thank You to bcoxville89 For This Useful Post:
LanceRocks (10-29-2013)

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