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  #1  
Old 10-21-2013, 08:00 AM
Tor
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Default Haiku


winter breathes a sigh
window looks into courtyard
thinks about passing life


Last edited by Tor; 10-28-2013 at 07:36 AM.. Reason: Defenestrator's help
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  #2  
Old 10-21-2013, 08:06 AM
Spike (Offline)
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Thanks for that Tor.
Jack Kerouac said,"A real haiku’s gotta be as simple as porridge and yet make you see the real thing, like the greatest haiku of them all probably is the one that goes ‘The sparrow hops along the veranda, with wet feet.’ By Shiki. You see the wet footprints like a vision in your mind and yet in those few words you also see all the rain that’s been falling that day and almost smell the wet pine needles."
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Old 10-21-2013, 03:07 PM
Tor
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Indeed Spike,
few words but deep feeling that is the essence
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Old 10-26-2013, 08:59 PM
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Breathes* is the verbal form. Breaths is the plural noun. Anyway, this haiku came alive to me; it's winter here and I'll do this from time to time. Winter and thought go well together.
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Old 10-27-2013, 09:21 AM
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Tor

Not sure I get your Haiku -

winter breaths a sigh - Breathes
window looks into courtyard
thinks about passing life - can a window think?
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Old 10-28-2013, 02:09 AM
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Originally Posted by gloria View Post
can a window think?
I know there's the debate on whether personification should be "allowed" within a haiku, but it's not a set a rule. I don't mind a little personification.
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Old 10-28-2013, 07:40 AM
Tor
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Defenestrator,
Thanks for your help. It breathes better now. fall into winter makes me think and feel. glad it touched you -what it is all about to me.
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Old 10-28-2013, 07:44 AM
Tor
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Gloria,
I believe that windows think if they are in pane. But It is about feeling. If it causes you to feel then it is "gotten". That is just my thought. Thanks for thinking about it.
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Old 10-28-2013, 07:47 AM
Tor
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Wiskers,
I often think we personify people too much but I digress. But did you like it? Hope so.
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