Cliche #20 -- Thing's got a little weird
Listen, before we get into anything, I’m not gay. I think it’s important that you know that, that I’m not gay. Just bear that in mind. With it said… well things got a little weird last night.
I’m not normally one for bars. Not because I don’t enjoy them or am some sort of shut in – no, if I had to pinpoint the real issue, it’s that I’m unemployed and nobody ever got laid with the line “my parents are my landlords.” And I don’t mean to complain or begrudge them the hospitality, I’m not that insincere, but the situation sucks. Starting to feel pretty far removed from undergrad, and it’s only been five months. I’m getting sidetracked. Don’t let me do that. No one wants to hear me complain.
Let’s get back to last night. I didn’t want or intend to go out, firstly because of what I already explained, and secondly – and in this instance more importantly – because it was already midnight on a fucking Tuesday. But Johnny was insistent. I’ll show you my phone. Kid called eight times in five minutes. This is why I try to avoid my brother’s friends. Once I picked up, well you don’t say no to Johnny. He’s got an answer for everything. You can sleep on my floor. Who cares what time it is – I’ve got a gram of coke! No, trust me, you’ll like it. Just one bump, if it’s not the best you’ve ever felt I’ll never ask again.
So I went to his apartment. What can I say, I’m a slave to peer pressure… and I love cocaine.
I got there maybe half an hour later, late for a typical night but not for a Johnny night. It took him a while to answer the door. Longer than it should have. Or at least that’s what I thought. Time sort of dilutes itself when you’re about to get yipped. I’m not saying I’m addicted – I could’ve said no at any point – but once you come to terms that what’s gonna happen is gonna happen… well maybe I’m a little addicted. Just a bit.
Anyways, he answered the door with his shirt off and his pants halfway on. I figured he was getting ready to head out. There was a guy I’d never met on the couch – he was wearing his clothes, which lent some credence to my assumptions. I introduced myself. He didn’t even look up at me – made a complete asshole out of me, actually. So I made the next logical assumption, the guy must’ve been dealing. Now contrary to what you may have heard, that’s not how dealers normally behave – it’s a sales industry, as much as you’re focused on the commodities. Dealers tend to be among the friendliest people I’ve ever met, especially when they’re coked up. But this guy didn’t say a word to me. He glanced up at Johnny, turned, walked into the bedroom, and shut the door.
I looked back at Johnny and asked him “What the fuck is his problem?” and Johnny started taking his pants off again – right there in front of me. I admit, I was a little taken aback – I think yelled “What the fuck man” or something to that effect at him. He just shook his head. You too. I wasn’t about to stand for that and I got up to leave but Johnny grabbed my shoulders, looked me in the eyes and shook again. He was terrified. I had no doubt, whoever that guy was, he’d have killed him.
See, this is exactly why I avoid my brother’s friends. But anyways, I started taking off my pants.
Like I said, things got a little weird.
Contrary to popular belief, I am in fact a man.
Last edited by Pepper; 04-02-2013 at 10:16 AM..