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Prompt #43 - The Shopping Trip From Hell

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Old 09-14-2014, 08:55 AM
gloria (Offline)
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Default Prompt #43 - The Shopping Trip From Hell


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I wasn't expecting so much excitement at nine o'clock on a Monday morning. There I was just out for the last of our holiday shopping before Jo and I left for home after a fortnight in Brighton. I’d strolled through the automated doors, just about filled my shopping basket and stood 3rd in line at the checkout.

The girl, spider thin and fiddling with her hair, was flirting, would you believe it, flirting with a lanky boy – torn jeans and greasy hair.

I said, 'Excuse me, but....'

And found myself looking down the barrel of a gun. Lanky Boy's eyes glazed over, his lips creased into a half smile. Never, have I had such a shock. Jolted me it did. I fell forward. I felt my hand hit his face, heard her cry as the bullet caught her. I could see the blood oozing.

Silly young thing shouldn’t have been fidgeting like that.

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Old 09-14-2014, 10:48 AM
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ok I'm not sure if this is what is expected or not but:

The other day I stopped to buy a pair of tires for the back of my truck. Of course there were dozens of designs to choose from but none of them were what I wanted. I wanted a aggressive tread pattern because we get a lot of snow and they wouldn't have snow tires in for another month. I needed tires now, I don't know how the left rear held air long enough to get to the tire shop. it's got a huge knot on it.

The girl behind the counter, who was as thin as a speed freak kept playing with her hair and just couldn't work the computer with one hand. She told me she was new and was recovering from a gunshot wound she suffered when a nut job of a customer forced her ex-boyfriend to shot her. she showed me the red scar in her side. Strange I thought she had been shot in the head from the way she was acting.

Well the owner came out to help her and he was a lot of help, the tires I wanted were indeed in stock, she had just not loaded the information into the computer.

I told him to put the tires on and he handed off the order to the girl.

I waited a while until I saw my truck being pulled into the shop. Then I waited and waited and waited. The girl took four cell phone calls and I have trouble understanding how she keeps from pulling that lock of hair out of her head.

when my truck was pulled back into the parking area I noticed I had four new snow tires on the truck.

I tried to tell the girl that I only wanted two, but she kept telling me "But we have four" as she kept slanting her head to one side and fiddling with her DAMN hair.

I had to leave the building to get some fresh air - I now understand why she was shot at her last job.

The drama in my head.

I went to the truck and got my weapon, it was time to put an end to this. I check to see if the battery was up and the guard removed before I went back into the tire shop.

She saw me coming, weapon buzzing in my hand and rushed for the shop door "no customers beyond this point" I grabbed her shoulder and stuck the dog clippers to her head, everyone in the waiting room was yelling for me either stop or cheering me on.

when I finished her freakin hair was on the floor, maybe now we'll get better service that she has no hair to fiddle with.
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if you're writing over your readers head - tum etiam, ut graece scribens --- the secret of success changes;the truth of failure remains constant; if you try to please everyone you will fail.

Last edited by max crash; 10-14-2014 at 11:00 AM..
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