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Here is chapters 5 & 6

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Old 05-27-2008, 01:34 PM
JRFleshmen (Offline)
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Default Here is chapters 5 & 6

I wanted to so everyone where this novel has gone. The format is for an editor that I sent my manuscript to. Please feel free to leave your opinions.


Chapter 5

Karla's Great Escape”

Karla awakes in a strange place. Her vision is quite blurred. Her head fells like she has been on a two day drunk fest. In fact she has been unconscious for the last three days. Her vision finally clears up a little and she starts to look around. The room she is in is a dark damp room. Almost like a basement, but instead of blocks or concrete the walls are made out of some sort of metal. Just then a horrifying thought comes over her, she is in one of those alien's spaceships. She is indeed aboard one of the scout ships, but she is not alone in the room. She is in a holding cell like a prison cell. There is thirteen other women in this cell with her. There are no bars however; just beams of what looks like light. She stumbles to her feet and heads for those light bars. She reaches out to touch one, but before she can one of the other women stops her.

“Don't touch that!” bellows one of the other women

“Oh, why not?” questions Karla still a little dazed

“Those are not just normal lights. Look at Janet's hands” she says as she points toward Janet

She looks over to the woman's hands. Her left hand is burnt completely off. Her right hand has burns all over it. The sight of these hands is total disgusting. She goes over to see if she can comfort the poor woman. She starts to raise her left arm, to put around the poor woman, when she feels a stabbing pain in her shoulder. She is starting to remember what has happened. The wound on her shoulder in now looking a little infected. The wound is now starting to bleed a little. One of the other women in the room notices Karla's injured shoulder.

“Oh sweetie you are hurt.”

“Yeah but it is not that bad” explains Karla trying to hide the pain she is feeling which at this point is getting a little unbearable.

“Let me take a look at that shoulder. My name is Susie and I am a doctor”

“Oh it is no big deal.” replies Karla as she tries to hide the fact that she is hurting.

“Take your shirt off and let me take a look. What is your name?” Asks Susie


“Nice to meet you Karla. Now lets look at that shoulder.”

Karla takes her left arm out of her shirt. Doctor Susie examines her shoulder. She says that it is threw and threw wound. This means the claw type weapon penetrated all the way from the back to the front without hitting a bone. She takes a bottle of peroxide out from her medical pouch and pours it on Karla's wound. After a few minutes of bubbling she dries off the excess peroxide then applies an antibiotic to the wound. Then she applies a clean dressing to the wound.

“Keep an eye on that wound. If it is not healing in a day or so I may have to put in a few stitches to close it up.” explains Susie

“Why would you bother? We are as good as dead anyway.” mutters a harsh voice from the back of the cell.

“Who are you and what are you talking about?” inquires Karla

“Never mind Rita. She is always looking at the negative side of things.

Instead she should be concentrating on how to get out of this hell hole.” says the quiet woman setting next to Janet. Her name is Becky.

“I am not negative, I am just stating the cold hard facts” utters Janet a little angered at this point.

“Can someone please explain to me what the hell she is talking about.” demands Karla

“Apparently these creatures are collecting human females like all of us. Then they bring them here. This is some sort of mobile medical center for these nasty beasts. They bring women here and implant a fertilized alien egg in us. Five weeks later they come in and take the women out of here. When they leave this area they are never seen again. So we are assuming that the woman is killed during the retrieval of the alien babies.” explains Becky

“Are you sure that's what’s going on here?” questions Karla horrified by the thought.

Becky was just about right on the money with her explanation. However the adult aliens are not killing the women, but the baby aliens are. Once born the babies start to feed on their human hosts until the female is almost eaten entirely. The retrieval rooms are just down the hall to the left from where the holding cells are. These rooms are set up almost like a human delivery room at a hospital. After the aliens cut out the babies from the human host, they take her bleeding body into another room nearby. This room is surrounded by an air barrier. This work sort of like a zip lock bag, it keeps the human fresh so the baby aliens can eat on them for some time. Apparently the alien females can’t bare children, so that inject the fertilized eggs into a host body. Most of the time these host are not volunteers. Humans would classify these aliens as parasites because they need host in order to survive.

“How could you possibility know all of this?” asks Karla

“Doc Susie told us all about them.” replies Becky

“She knows all this from being for just a couple of days?” solicits Karla a little sarcastically

“I have been aboard this vessel for several years. I could not bare children myself. After the aliens found this out they kept me aboard because I am a physician.” responses Doctor Susie

“Are you saying you help these barbarians kill human females?” asks Karla really angered

“No fricking way. I would never hurt a fellow human. I help with the ones like you. The ones that get injured during the capture.” explains Doc Susie.

“So what happens to the girls once you get them healed up?” asks Karla nervously

“I think they will put you on one of the work crews. You are young and strong. They will think you will make a good worker. Once you are injured you are unfit to bare their babies. So if they don't put you on a work crew then they will eat you. Or at least that’s their mentality.” response the doctor
“So how long have they been kidnapping and killing humans?” inquires Karla trying to get mind of the fact that she could become food for these monsters.

“I don't really know for sure. I do know they don't ever stay here very long.

'They usually collect their host victims and leave whatever planet they are on. They usually stay gone until it is time for the next batch of babies.” answers Susie

“What do you mean usually?” asks Karla

“This time they plan on staying and taking over the Earth. Just as soon as they kill all of the unwanted.” replies Doc Susie.

“Unwanted?” asks Karla

“Yeah the male human species. They pose a huge threat to the aliens.” answers the good doctor.

“But there are only so many women on this planet. If they keep feeding them to the babies after delivery then it won't be long and they will die out also.” points out Karla

“They first had planned to use up this planets resources then move on to the next one. They have just recently devised a method to preserve the dead men they are planning on killing. This will give their babies a food source for generations.” explains Doctor Susie

“Oh my God. But they will never beat our Army” boasts Karla

“I don't know. They are fairly more advanced with their weapons than we are.” announces the doctor.

The doctor is telling the truth about them having more advanced weapons than humans have. They have been attacking and fight other beings for thousands of years. Every time they conquer a life form they also take their technology. They have been visiting the Earth thousands of years to collect host victims and information on our race. A lot of the ancient artifacts were indeed made by these aliens. Apparently they are some sort of communicating devices for further aliens to get here. They have been collecting both men and women for some time now. The men are used as test subjects for weapons studies. The also use the men to breed the women. Like cattle breeding to be eaten. They breed them until they can not breed anymore. Then its off to the slaughter houses. When the alien population thins a little, they return to Earth for some more host victims for their babies. This time they plan on colonizing the Earth. That way they can just delivery and raise their babies here.

“I can not believe what I am hearing. Aliens have been coming to Earth for hundreds maybe thousands of years. And not only that but they are here to kidnap humans. And now they are here to conquer the Earth and kill all the men.” replies Karla with a doubtful tone to her voice.

“You better believe it. You are here and it does not get much more real then this” mouths Rita.

“Ok lets say for the sake of argument you are right. Then we need to figure a way out of here. Then a way to stop these vicious animals.” snaps Karla

“There is no way out of this nightmare.” pops off Rita

“That is not necessarily true.” says Janet setting in a corner in the back of the room.

“What do you mean?” asks Karla

“Do not listen to her she is a total nut job!” mouths off Rita

“Leave her alone Rita. You know she has been trough a lot.” demands doctor Susie

“What did you mean?” asks Karla again as she walks towards the back of the room. Janet now has the attention of just about all the women in this room.

“I mean there might be a way out of this shit hole.” explains Janet

“Details” yells Karla “Please”

Janet goes on to explain what she is talk about. She was on the clean up crew. A maid for the aliens. She tells the other women that every Tuesday at eleven o'clock in the morning the aliens go to some sort of religious ceremony. Like the way the humans go to church on Sundays. Every alien is there. So if they could get out of the cell they could escape while the aliens are at church. But getting out of the cell will be a major challenge. They do not even know if they are still on the Earth.

“So how do we get out of this cage?” asks Karla as she looks around the room.

“We need a key. We will also need to break into the weapons room. We may need some weapons once we get out. They are sure to follow us and try to recapture us.” explains Janet

“How do we get a key?” asks Karla a little doubtful that they can even get out.

“We will have to start a fake fight. Then when the guard comes in to stop it we will over power him taking his key and weapons. We will lock him in here and escape.” illustrates Rita

“No! I have a much better and safer way.” says Doctor Susie

“Please informs us then” replies Karla rudely

“I will” utters Doctor Susie with a little displeasure to her voice.

Doctor Susie goes into detail of her plan. She has been with the aliens for some time now. She knows the way the aliens operate. She also has made friends with a few of these aliens. There are some of the them who are not happy with their lifestyles. They know that the human race is an intelligent form of life. They are starting to feel sorry for the crimes that are being committed against humanity. These aliens are desperately trying to find a better humane way to continue their species. There has to be a way for them to breed with killing another life in the process. These aliens also do not consume human meat. They eat beef and pork like the humans do. Doctor Susie knows these aliens personally and wants to help them separate from the other vicious aliens. Maybe she can help develop a new birthing process for the aliens. This may bring peace between the aliens and the humans.
She goes on to explain her ideas with the other women. She wants to talk to these friendly aliens and they may be able to help them escape. Well escape for all the other women but not her she plans on staying. She has been in captivity for so long time now. She does not think she could function in human society anymore. There is also another reason; she has grown quite fond of one of the aliens. In fact she may even be in love with him. His name is Alrek. He is one of the aliens trying to change their lifestyles.

She continues explaining her plan until nearly midnight. She would confide in Alrek to see if he and his fellow activists alien friends would help the women. This could be very risky. What if he turns them in? They would definitely be slaughtered. How does he feel about her? Hopefully he feel as she does about him. Maybe him and the other activists could not only help but leave with them. Because that is the only way she will leave.

“Do you really think your boyfriend will help us or do you think he will make soup out of us?” asks Rita smugly

“I am almost sure him and his friends will help us. And he is not my boyfriend.” expresses doctor Susie

“Well we better get some sleep. When will you be able to talk with this Alrek fella?”Inquires Karla

“Tomorrow first thing.” says the doctor

“Good. I am sorry but I am so tired. I think I am going to crawl into my bunk. You should try and get some sleep also.” states Karla as she yawns widely stretching her arms toward the ceiling.

“I definitely will get some sleep. Thanks” says the good doctor.

With that they all go to bed. The next morning comes really, really fast. When Karla awakens Doctor Susie is not there. Could she have gone to talk with this Alrek character? Or maybe these monsters have found out about the escape plans? Susie is indeed talking with Alrek. She does not know how to ask for his help. She still isn't sure how he will react to the plan. So she takes a deep breath and just goes for it. Ten minutes past of her discussing the plan and finally she comes to a conclusion. She waits patiently for him to say something. After a few silent moments he agrees to help with the escape. He also wants to come along with the ladies. He can not live this barbaric way any longer. Not only will he go with them but he wants them to take him to the world leaders. With the information he can provide about the aliens the humans should be able to defeat the alien attackers. Susie agrees to take him to meet with the President, although she’s not quite sure how she is going to get the alien in to see him. He supplies Susie with keys to the cells and the weapons room. He also instructs her on which weapons to take and how to use them.

Susie goes back to the holding area to inform the other women that the alien separatists are with them. She informs them of the keys and which weapons Alrek told her to take. Most of the women are now filled with hope. All except Rita, she is still suspicious of Alrek and the rest of the separatist. She does not say anything out of friendship with Susie, but she is going to keep her eye on them.

Alrek goes to find all the other alien activists. He wants them to leave the collective with the women when they escape. They all agree to help the women escape. Some however are not going with them. The leaving the collective will be a bad idea. Instead of leaving it they
think they can change the collective. Alrek does not agree with them, but says nothing. He respects all of their opinions. He himself does not believe the collective will ever change.

The escape is planned to happen on the next Tuesday morning at eleven fifteen in the morning. The plan is to get out of the cells, go to the weapons room, get the weapons that Alrek said to get, and run like hell. This is a cold Sunday morning so they will have to wait a couple of long days before the big escape. In the meantime three of the women that are caring alien babies are gather up and taken to the retrieval rooms. The babies have a tough time breaking out through the women's abdomens so the aliens help cut them out. This process almost always is fatal to the human hosts. But it really does not matter because they are going to die when the babies start to feed on them.
Monday morning two more women are brought to the retrieval rooms. That’s the last time any of these women will be seen.

Finally Tuesday morning has arrived. All the remaining women are now getting nervous and excited at the same time. Susie returns to the cell after doing her morning rounds. She informs the remaining women that the aliens are starting to leave this ship and head to the gathering chambers on the lead ship. After one hour has pasted she produces a key to the cell doors. She then proceeds to open the door very cautiously however. She does not know if all the aliens gone yet. The women start to file out of the cell one by one. Susie leads them down the hall to the weapons room. Inside they arm themselves with the weapons Alrek had described to Susie. Then the leave the weapons room and down two more hallways. Then they make a mad dash out of the ship. Once outside the women hook up with Alrek and the separatist that are willing to leave the collective. They all head for the woods when they hear this......

“You filthy rotten trading maggot scums.”Screams an unknown alien from behind the escaping troop.

Crack, Crack. Shot ring out from behind the fleeing prisoners. Alrek is hit, and instantly he falls to the ground. “No” shrieks Doctor Susie
As she starts to run towards her fallen love, Karla grabs her by the arm. Susie is fighting and struggling to get free. Crying and kicking at Karla but she just can not get free.

“He is dead!” screams Karla to the shocked doctor

“No! He can not be. Let me go you cold hearted bitch.” screeches the heart broken doctor

“They will shoot you!” points out Karla

With that Susie brings up a fast strong elbow blow hitting Karla right between the eyes. Karla's grip on the doctor is lost and she falls to the ground. Susie runs over to where Alrek lies lifeless. She reaches for him but he is dead. She throws her head back and lets out a horrifying scream. Her love lies dead in her arms. Crack another shot rings out. She suddenly feels a massive burning pain in her abdomen region. She looks down and there is a great big gaping hole where belly button used to be. She starts to spit large amounts of blood from her mouth. By the look she is giving, Karla knows that she is hurt really bad. Karla fires her weapon hitting and killing the alien attacker. She runs cautiously over to where Susie is now lying on the ground. There is blood all over the place. Karla looks at Susie's wounds and instantly knows that Susie is not going to make it. Karla tries to keep a calm looking face, but she knows she will not be able to keep it very long.

“Hold still maybe I can stop the bleeding” orders Karla

“Just get out of here.” yells Doctor Susie

“I am not leaving you” Karla says now with a tear running down her cheek.

“There is nothing you can do to help me now. Don't even try to argue with me. Remember I am the doctor.” says Susie with a little humor to her voice.

“But I may be able to help or even carry you” pleads the crying Karla

“Nothing can help me now. You need to get out of here before more aliens show up. If you try to carry me we both will die. I am going to die regardless so it makes no sense for the both of us to die. Now get the hell out of here or I will shoot you myself.” orders the dying doctor.

Susie starts to slip in and out of consciousness. Karla starts to cry really hard because she knows the end will soon come for her new friend. Voices now can be hard coming towards them from the alien's ships. Susie gives Karla a smile and nudges her to leave. Karla wipes the tears from her face and stands up. She says her good bye to Susie then runs off. She meets up with the rest of the escapees when she hears a weapon being fired. She turns and starts to run back, but one of alien separatist grabs her.

“Let me go!” screams Karla

“No. Our friend is dying and now she is giving us a chance to escape. Getting away alive is the least we can do to pay respect to her bravery.” explains the separatist

She struggles a few more moments then she knows what he is saying is true. He lets her go after she calms down. She takes a moment to collect herself then the head out. The head for Karla and Randy's farmhouse. When they get there, a big surprise is awaiting them.

Chapter 6

Time To Get Some Information”

This morning is very busy morning for Colonel Williams. Captain Jones and his team are back from the supply drop. The reinforcing troops have also arrived. The Colonel is running around posting the perimeter guards and setting up the patrols. They also set up APDs, anti-personnel devices, at keep points on the outer perimeter. If any unfriendly visitors show up the apds will be a nice surprise for them. The Col also has the tank in reserve just in case they need some heavy fire power. After everything is set up, he heads to the command tent to start planning the upcoming missions. When he gets to the command tent Captain Jones,

Lts. Zachary and Michael, and Randy are all waiting inside for him.
They spend several hours making plans for the missions. They decide to us several small teams instead of one large one. This may help from getting detected by the aliens. Colonel Williams, Randy, and two other snipers armed with fifty caliber sniper rifles will make up the main intelligence team. Their main objective is to gather as much information about the aliens as they can. Basically they are going to be spying covertly on the aliens. Lt. Zachary
with three other riflemen, armed very heavily, will provide fire support to the main team if needed. Chief Petty Officer Austin and his tank crew will be posted just with in firing range of their tank. That way the Colonel's team will have artillery support if they need it. Lt. Michael has an extraction team ready for extra fire support if the Col and his team need to get out fast. The teams are going to use the Bradley and atvs to get as close to the hot zone without having to hump all the way in.

All team members will be wearing the thermo suits. On top of the thermo suits Col. Williams and his team will be wearing chameleon suits. These suits have an electronic imaging devices built into them. They detect patterns of color around them and transmit a perfect match to the suits. They are the ultimate camouflage. With the two suits being worn, they should be invisible and not be detected by thermo signatures. The teams are to leave camp at 04:30 tomorrow morning. The briefing now ends and the men head to get some of that good military chow.

They finish their chow. Everyone runs off getting things ready for tomorrow's mission. The afternoon goes by really quickly. The guard is changed and everyone settles in for the night. All is quiet and the night goes by super fast.

At 0400(4 am.) all the teams are gathered. They start to head out to their destinations .Just past the outer most perimeter they find a very scary surprise. One of the traps the Colonel's men set the day before has captured an alien. His arm is almost completely ripped off from him trying to escape. The alien also has suffered broken legs, but he is still very much alive. The alien is now shouting profanity at the humans. The Colonel orders some of the perimeter guards to get the alien free from the trap. He tells them to take the injured alien to get check out by one of the army doctor back at camp. After his injuries are attended to they are to lock him up. He is to be kept under constant armed guard. At least two maybe three guards at all times. The colonel also instructs the guards to shot to kill if the alien tries to escape.

The colonel now knows that the aliens are spying on them as well. He communicates with Captain Jones. He orders the captain to double the perimeter guards and patrols. He also orders the captain to deploy more APDs and claymore mines set out. He also wants sniper teams put out just outside the outer perimeter. With all this extra protection, they should be able to protect themselves if the aliens decide to attack.

All the men making up the teams are wearing a vibra-communicator. These devices are strapped around the necks of the soldiers just over the Adam's apple. All they have to do is whisper really lightly and they are perfectly heard through the other men's earpieces. Unless it is totally necessary, silence is to be used.

They leave the ATVs about a mile away from their objective point. Colonel Williams orders the tank to stay back and deploy a camouflage cover. He and his team start to crawl in slow, so that they will not be detected by the aliens. An hour and a half goes by and finally they reach
their destination. They have taken up a really good position to observe the aliens. They are roughly two thousand yards away from the alien encampment. There is now twelve ships on the ground and several more coming and going. The alien have erected an out building looking like some sort of prison. The colonel's team is in place, and starts to
record some information. What they are about to see will haunt their memories for the rest of their lives.

There are a dozen or so aliens just outside this building. Two more aliens appear from the building escorting several
human men. These human men look beaten and half starved. The aliens escort the men to some post off to the left side of the building. The chain the men's hands and feet and put a rope around their necks. The other aliens gather around the bound men. The stab large round rods through the abdomen of the humans. Most of the human men yell out with a horrifying painful scream. It takes all of the soldier's discipline not to compromise their positions. The alien place buckets on the ground to collect the blood dripping from the rods. A few hours go by and the blood stops dripping. The aliens jab long knife like blades through the backs of the human captives. This insures that the humans are dead. They then take out very sharp knifes and skin out the upper half of the human men. Randy nearly vomits from the sound of human flesh and tissue being ripped off the dead bodies. After the skin has been completely removed from the upper half of the body, they take the skin over to another alien. He scrapes the skin free of any flesh or tissue. Then he places the clean skin in a vat of thick brownish liquid. The skin is left in this solution overnight. What they do next shocks the soldiers to the point they nearly engage the aliens in combat. After the skins have been submerged overnight in the solution, they take the skins out and give them a quick wash. Then they let them air dry. After they are dry, aliens about the same size as the human in which the skins came from try them on. They are using the preserved skins as human costumes. Now the upper half of the aliens wearing the skins looks human.

“Oh my God!”Whispers Colonel Williams through his communicator.

“They can blend in totally wearing those human skins” points out Randy

This is not the only horrifying site the team observes. The aliens march out some more poorly looking human men. They line the men up against a wall and test some new type of weapons on them. The aliens fire and almost completely obliterate the humans. These are the most destructive hand held weapons the colonel has ever seen. They test several different weapons and each just about as horrifying as the one before it. Colonel Williams thinks to himself. How on Earth can we fight against these weapons? The alien’s technology is obviously greatly more advanced then ours.

The ships are starting to get more active. The ships leave and then return after different lengths of time. When the ships reach a certain altitude they completely disappear. Not because the get to high to be seen by the naked eye, they just turn invisible. These ships look well armed. They have several rocket looking projectiles on the sides and bottoms of each ship. They have several machine gun ports on them. They also have a large rod with a giant metal ball at the end. They look like giant lightning rods. In fact they are electric static generators. They have the capacity to produce a devastating electrical blast.

The team observes the alien encampment for several days. Tuesday morning they, especially Randy, get a pleasant surprise. They observe Karla and the others escape from one of the anchored ships .They witness the aliens trying to stop the escape attempt of the women. Randy notices that they are heading for his farm. Colonel Williams tells Randy and Lt. Zachary's team to find and rescue these women. Randy tells Lt Zachary to follow and terminate any threat to the women. Randy heads as fast as he can to his house hoping to beat the women there. Everyone is so busy during the rescue attempt that they did not notice the squad of alien foot soldiers tracking the Lt. Zachary and his team.

Randy is the first to reach the farm house. He makes a quick sweep through both floors of the house. Everything is clear. A few minutes later, he hears noises coming for outside the house. He very cautiously looks out of an upstairs window. He has his weapon ready to fire if need be. It is Karla and her new friends coming out of the woods just in front of their house. He runs down the stairs so fast he almost falls. He then runs out the front doorway and straight to Karla. Dropping her weapon, she runs over and hugs and kisses him.

“I thought you were dead” Randy says sobbing.

“As I thought you” says Karla with a joyful tear running down her blood stained cheek.

“Are you hurt?” asked Randy concerned

“Just my shoulder, but it is not bad” explains Karla

Just then Lt. Zachary and his support team come bursting out of the woods. All the soldiers now have their weapons pointing at the separatist aliens. Karla runs over and stands in front of her new acquired alien friends. The separatist aliens now have raised their hands above their heads, and have a very frightened look on their faces.

“Don't. These are our friends. They helped us escape” yells Karla

“Explain!” orders Lt. Zachary who has his laser sights pointed directly at one of the alien's head.

She starts to explain to the soldiers about the escape and the help the got from these separatist aliens. She gets half way through her explanation when one of the alien screams out in pain. He has been shot but no one heard a sound. Then another alien screams as blood pours out of his chest. It has to be a sniper.......

“Take cover!” orders Lt. Zachary

“Everyone inside now!” yells Randy

They pick up the wounded separatist and run as fast as they can to the house. Sgt. Martin yells out in pain. He has been hit in the left leg by a snipers bullet. He is bleeding profusely. Randy grabs the sgt and drags him inside the house. Everyone is now inside. The soldiers take up defensive positions by the windows and couple men at the back door. Shots are ringing out from the woods. The alien foot soldiers that have been tracking them are closing on the house. Lt. Zachary orders the fifty caliber machine gun be posted in the upstairs window. That way the machine gunner would have better visibility. He orders his snipers to fire at will. Boom, Boom.... Two aliens outside fall to the ground. Boom, Boom two more dead aliens. The alien squad scatters and head for the cover of the woods. They regroup there and start to lay down counter fire towards the house. Their aim is not very accurate and everyone in the house are pretty safe. For now.........
Rap, tat, tat, tat, and tat.....The sound of the fifty caliber machine gun being fired from the upstairs window. They keep firing into the woods. A few minutes later Lt. Zachary orders them to seize fire. The smoke clears and all is quiet for a moment. All of the sudden a bright red beam of light comes from the woods straight up to the sky. This is a signaling device of some sorts. The machine gun starts firing in the direction from which the light is coming from. This time the aliens return fire towards the machine gun crew. They hit and kill Sgt. Barnes who was feed ammo belts into the machine gun. The women are all scared stiff, all except Karla who is now perched at a window firing back at the aliens in the woods. Randy is at her left at the next window firing his m5 machine gun. He spots an alien running out of the woods caring what looks to be a grenade. He fires dropping the alien instantly. The grenade slips out of the aliens hand as he is falling to the ground. A few seconds later and the grenade goes off shooting debris and shrapnel towards the house. Randy is hit on the right arm and spots on his chest. He suffered just flesh wounds however and continues firing out of his window.

Colonel Williams can hear the machine guns firing and the exploding grenades. He tries to communicate with Lt. Zachary over his communicator. He has no luck reaching the Lt or anyone else on his team. Either they are to far out of range or with all the gun fire they can not hear his call. The colonel see the beam of light go up in the sky. A minute or two later, two of the smaller alien ships take off. They are heading in the direction from which the fighting is heard. The colonel now realizes that the beam of light was a signal for air support. He again tries to contact Lt. Zachary. Again no answer. He then contacts Chief Petty Officer Austin. He orders him and the tank to head towards Lt. Zachary's position. He is to support the men in any means possible. The colonel then contacts Captain Jones back at command. He informs the captain on what is happening. He tells the captain to send out reinforcements to help the Lt. He tells the captain to make sure that some of the soldiers are armed with anti aircraft weapons.

Back at the farmhouse, the humans are winning the fire fight with the aliens. A big shadow is now visible coming over the trees towards the house. Instantly Lt. Zachary realizes that the shadow is in fact an alien spaceship. No doubt coming to support the losing alien ground forces. With a very concerned look on his face, he turns to look at Randy.

“Do you have any other way out of this house?” he asked

“There is the back door” Randy answers pointing towards the back of the house.

“Any other?” asks Lt. Zachary knowing going out the back door would leave them to exposed.

“Well there is that old tunnel in the basement. I think it leads to the food cell over there. Why” asks Randy as he points to a little run down building.

“Look just above those trees there” says Lt. Zachary point to a growth of pine trees about a half mile away.

“What the hell is that?”Asks Karla

“I think it is one of their ships. No doubt coming to reinforce their ground troops.” explains the lt.

“I have no idea what kind of shape that tunnel is in.” says Randy

“Can't we just hold up here and wait for more soldiers?” asks one of the petrified women.

“No! We have no idea what kind of fire power those thing possess.” yells Lt. Zachary

“That’s right” utters Randy completely agreeing with Lt. Zachary

“Let’s get down to that tunnel ASAP!” orders Lt. Zachary

They gather up the wounded and head down stairs. When they reach the basement, Randy remembers that he boarded up the tunnel entrance years ago. He has a hammer and crowbar on his work bench in the garage. He informs the others he will go retrieve the tools and be right back. Up the stairs and into the garage he rushes. He grabs the tools and turns to run back to the basement to join the others.

Suddenly he stops in his tracks. There is two alien foot soldiers standing just ahead of him. They have not yet noticed him. He knows that he will have to take them out by himself. He quietly lays the tools down on the ground. He brings his weapon to his shoulder and takes the safety off. He aims at the closet alien and fires one round. Bang....The bullet hits the alien right in the forehead. Blood splatters on the face of the other alien. He spins around and starts to draw his weapon on Randy. Before he could shoulder the weapon, Randy fires two shots. Both bullets hit their marks killing the second alien instantly.

Randy quickly gathers up the tools and cautiously heads down to the basement. As he reaches the stairs leading downstairs, he glances out the front doorway. The shadow they had seen early is now clearly visible. It is an alien ship and it is closing in on the house really fast. There is now a second shadow coming over the trees. Randy hurries down the steps and informs the others of the closing ships. Randy and Lt. Zachary hurriedly remove the boards blocking the entrance to the tunnel. They get everyone in the tunnel and start heading towards the food cellar.

Just in time. The first alien ship is now hovering within firing distant of the house. The alien ship opens fire on the house. They start firing their machine guns. The projectiles smash through the outer walls and shred the interior. After a few minutes and two thousand rounds later, the interior of the house is totally shredded. The house is completely shot up, but is still standing. That is until the fire the main weapon from the alien ship. This is the long thick rod with the ball on the end. When they fire this weapon, the rod turns bright red and sparks start to fly from the ball. A few seconds later the weapon is fully charged. It fires a huge lightning bolt and levels the house. The house is also set ablaze from the blast.

The humans in the tunnel hear the explosion and fell the shocks from the blast. The end of the tunnel fills with dust and debris when the house collapses. They keep moving towards the other end of the tunnel. They are near the other end, when another blast blows the food cellar apart. This blast partially closes the end of the tunnel. Randy and Lt. Zachary setting at the very end of the tunnel looking out through the debris. They watch the two alien ships destroy all the remaining buildings on the farm.

The remaining alien foot soldiers have cornered Randy's horses. One alien shoots the large stallion in the head. After the horse falls dead on the ground, the alien cuts out the horse's heart and eats it raw. A different alien grabs another horse and breaks its neck. He slices open the horse's belly spilling the horse's guts on the ground. He eats the intestines like spaghetti. They continue killing and eating various parts of the remaining horses. The site of his horses being slaughtered enrages Randy. He tries to leave the tunnel but Lt. Zachary and Karla restrain him.

“Let me go! I am going to kill all those bastards!” yells Randy

“No! You can't. Those ships will cut you down the instant they spot you” explains Lt. Zachary

“But you seen what they did to my horses” replies Randy with a lot of rage in his voice.

“I know and trust me I've never wanted to kill something more than I do those barbarians. But we can not win a fight against those ships with these weapons.” explains Lt. Zachary

A few moments later Boom.... Fire and smoke can be seen coming from the side of one of the alien ships. Then a rocket hits the other ship. The first ship takes another hit. Both ships are damaged but still in one piece. The first ship starts to charge its main weapon, when a huge blast takes the weapon entirely off the front of the ship. This large blast has come from the tank. The first blasts had came from hand held rocket tubes. Lt. Zachary looks out of the hole and see that the reinforcements have arrived. The ships, especially the first one, have suffered heavy damage and head back to their camp. This leaves the remaining alien foot soldiers very vulnerable. Randy and the rest of the soldiers in the tunnel rush out. They quickly engage the alien soldiers. It does not take long and the aliens that are able start to flee.

“Should we go after them sir?” asks one of the soldiers

“No! We need to contact the colonel.” orders the Lt.

The lieutenant finds the radio operator. He gets in contact with the colonel. The colonel and the rest of his team have fled their positions. They are heading back to the command area. He orders the lieutenant to take his team along with the tank crew and head to the nearby town. Reports are coming in that the town was attacked by the aliens. They are to check for survivors. He is to form an escort squad to bring the women back to the command area. They are to escort the alien separatists to the command area also. The colonel orders him to try to avoid any other conflicts with the aliens. But if conflict does break out he is to us deadly force. Take no prisoners. He also warns the lieutenant to keep a watchful eye out for any alien ships. The colonel tells the lieutenant that right before he had left his position all the spaceships had taken off. The ships left in all directions. He tells the lieutenant to be careful. The two officers talk for a little longer then end their conversation.

Lieutenant Zachary hurries to assemble the escort team. He assigns ten men to escort the women back to the command area. All the women except Karla. She has made it quite clear she is not interested in returning with the other women. She insists on staying with Randy. After a five minute argument with her, Randy and Lieutenant Zachary finally agree to let her stay. The escort team heads out for the command area. The remaining soldiers including the tank and it's crew head for the small town of Naviria. They know that the aliens have probably annihilated this town, but they are hoping not.

The lieutenant orders a small detail to go and retrieve the Bradley armored personnel carrier. If they encounter any injured civilians in this town they can transport them in the Bradly. The rest of the team head out for the town.

The path to Naviria will be a tough challenge. They will stay to the woods in order to keep from getting detected by any alien patrols. The alien ships will have a harder time detecting them in the woods also. The town is eight miles to the east of the farm. When they get within a mile or so of the town, smoke is clearly visible coming from the town. At this point the town has been attacked, and finding survivors may be an impossibility. Naviria has a population of four thousand five hundred, or had anyway. An hour later and they reach the outskirts of the town.

All the business buildings, lining the main street of town, appear to be totally destroyed. Some of which still have fires burning in them. All down Main Street the cars are flipped either on their sides or completely flipped over. Some of these cars are burning also. The smell of charred flesh still pollutes the air. The soldiers cautiously and carefully make their way down Main Street. They sweep the area looking for any signs of survivors. So far no signs are being found. The sites and smells of this devastated town, is almost to much for the younger soldiers to bare. Some of the older soldiers had fought in the Great War. The site of this devastation brings back horrifying memories to them.

They make their way to the end of the street. It has taken some time to reach this point. They have been searching through the rubble and debris looking for any signs of life.

They finally make it through all the rubble on this street when Bang.... A single shot from a high power hunting rifle. Everyone runs for cover. Quiet for a few minutes then Bang.... another shot.

“That sounds like a .243” yells Randy

“Yeah and?” smarts of Lieutenant Zachary

“And there is only one person crazy enough to try and fight use with a single shot hunting rifle” explains Randy shaking his head and chuckling.

“Are you saying you know who is shooting at us?” asks the lieutenant

“Yeah I think. Hand me that bullhorn.” snaps Randy

The lieutenant a little confused hands the bullhorn to Randy.

“Matthews is that you?” asks Randy through the bullhorn.

The shooter a little, disoriented from hearing his name, pops his head up for just a quick second. Although his face is visible for only a very short time, Randy definitely recognizes him. It is Matthews. In fact his name is Wayne Matthews. Randy would recognize him anywhere. They played high school football together and were roommates in college.

“Who is there?” asks the confused gunman

“UWF Army. We are here to help” answers Randy

“Yeah right and my ass is purple with green stripes” smarts off Matthews.

“I don't know about your ass being purple and shit, but I do know you have a hula dancing girl tattoo on you left ass cheek.” replies Randy with a big smile on his face.

This totally throws Matthews. There only a handful of people on this planet that would know about his tattoo. Then he suddenly realizes who is behind that bullhorn.

“Funneman you asshole is that you?” asks Matthews

“The one and only. How are you doing Butwheat?” replies Randy through the bullhorn as he stands up.

“Get down you fool! He may shoot you!” orders Lieutenant Zachary

“Not Butwheat. He is an old buddy of mine” explains Randy

The soldiers break cover. Matthews also stands and makes a hand signal. About fifteen other men come out from their hiding places. Randy and the soldiers meat with Matthews down the street.

“Woo Wee... Randy you old goat roper you. How long has it been five, six years?” asks Matthews

“Seven. I though you moved away. What are you doing here? And when did you get back?” asks Randy as he slugs Matthews in the shoulder.

“Ouch” yells Matthews rubbing his arm “I got here Sunday. I here to visit my mom” explains Matthews.

“Well it is really good to see you again. I just wish that it could be on better circumstances.” says Randy

“Do they know which terrorists group done this?” asks Matthews.

“Terrorist? You mean you did not see them?” asks Randy

“What the hell do you mean?” asks Matthews a little confused now.

“This was not a terrorist act” says Randy.

“Then just what the hell attacked us?” asks Matthews now really confused.


Matthews takes a few steps back. His mouth is wide open. He shakes his head a couple of times in total disbelief. A few minutes of silence then he turns toward Randy.

“Ok I can see you are still smoking the wacky tobacco.. Or maybe you have sniffed too much diesel fumes.” Smarts off Matthews.

“No I am serious. We have engaged them. Just ask the good lieutenant here.” States Randy pointing to Lieutenant Zachary.

“Mr. Funneman is telling you the truth.” Explains the lieutenant.

“Aliens?” Mumbles Matthews still shaking his head in disbelief.

“Yes human flesh eating aliens.” answers Randy.

With this news Matthews falls back on a debris pile right behind him. He still shakes his head. He is even more confused than before. The soldiers give him a few moments to gather his composure.

“How many survivors are there here?” Asks the lieutenant.

“There is thirty men, fifteen women, and three children.” Explains the confused Matthews.

“Where are they hiding at?”

“I have them positioned all through out the town.”

“Any of them injured?”

“Not that I am aware of.” Says Matthews

“Oh and Randy you will never guess who is also here.” Says Matthews.


“You remember Shawn Leon?”

“Liono, where the hell is he at.” Asks Randy looking all around.

“Yep that’s the one. He is around somewhere.” Explains Matthews.

The lieutenant orders Matthews to go and gather all the survivors. He tells him to go as fast as he can and meet back right here. He then turns toward the soldiers. He tells them to fan out and gather all the usable supplies they can carry. He posts a few guards to make sure the aliens do not sneak up on them.

Thirty minutes pass and Matthews returns with the other survivors. It is now starting to get dark. The lieutenant is getting concerned about leading civilians through unfamiliar woods at night. He asks if there is a place close they could hold up for the night. One of the survivors says that he has a sound structure they can stay in, and would be safe. They head out towards this structure. Upon arrival the lieutenant sets up perimeter guards and set the fifty caliber machine gun. He makes out a fire watch list and assigns the first soldiers to take watch. Everything is quiet for now. They all settle in for the night.

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Old 06-06-2008, 04:24 AM
Jay W. Eccent's Avatar
Jay W. Eccent (Offline)
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so far, so good. I like what you have so far.
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Old 06-06-2008, 10:38 AM
DavidGil (Offline)
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I'm sorry but this needs a lot of work before it's ready for sending out. I hope you really didn't send it out as it is anyway, because there's mistakes galore in it. I'm not prepared to go through this either as I reckon it won't be appreciated but I will give some advice with regards to dialog:

“Don't touch that!” bellows one of the other women

The dialog itself is fine. The end of it though? Not so much. Always end a line or paragraph with punctuation. So add a full stop at the end of women. Apply this to the rest of the piece where you've missed it off.

“Those are not just normal lights. Look at Janet's hands” she says as she points toward Janet

Here, you miss off the punctuation before you close the dialog. So add in a comma before the closing speech mark. Apply either a comma or fullstop to the rest of the piece where you've missed it off. Whichever is appropiate. The only you don't add a comma or fullstop is when you've used a exclamation or question mark. These are mistakes I see a lot by the way.

“Take your shirt off and let me take a look. What is your name?” Asks Susie

No capital letter needed.

“Why would you bother? We are as good as dead anyway.” mutters a harsh voice from the back of the cell.

That should be a comma before the closing speech mark.

“Never mind Rita. She is always looking at the negative side of things.

Instead she should be concentrating on how to get out of this hell hole.” says the quiet woman setting next to Janet. Her name is Becky.

Right, this is two paragraphs of speech here. It's the same character talking as well. When dealing with this, you were correct in leaving off the speech mark on the first paragraph. But you were wrong with the second part. It should have a speech mark at the start. I had to pull this from a website btw for this bit I flagged. I wasn't sure about it but I knew it wasn't correct. Never used multi paragraphs before for speech, myself. *shrugs*

Anyways, the link:


Hope this helps and hopefully someone else will go through the non-dialog related parts for you.

And Jay, even if you're not good at grammar, it helps to be more constructive than just: it's great.

Sorry if that comes across harsh but if you try to examine an author's writing and try to offer a critique, you'll improve your own writing. It doesn't even matter if you get some of the parts wrong, just give it a go.
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Old 06-08-2008, 04:28 AM
JRFleshmen (Offline)
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[quote=DavidGil;129082]. I'm not prepared to go through this either as I reckon it won't be appreciated but I will give some advice with regards to dialog:

DavidGil I appreciate any and all advice I get. I am still new to the writing world and very greatful to any one who tries to help my writing.
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