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Dream House

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  #1  
Old 07-24-2017, 03:13 PM
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Default Dream House


It dulls and numbs—the rote, routine,
the never-ending track.

Appliance drone and glowing panels
distract, deflect and mute
the nursery rhymes
and far-off roar of hollow plastic wheels.

So nearly missed, your wayward glance
and crumpled note—
the upturned leaf before the storm.

Empty gestures, favorite flowers,
cannot bridge the widening distance
in small and darkened rooms.

Reach across the blue formica, the shining,
empty table. Inhale the stifling air
conditioned—exhale and graze the wrist, the hand.

Speak your mind, your heart above
florescent hum and static voices.

I will listen, still

and hope.

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Old 07-24-2017, 03:57 PM
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Very nice.

The best I've read of yours.


xDrew
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Old 07-24-2017, 05:19 PM
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Grazzi, iDrew!
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Old 07-25-2017, 03:51 PM
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Superb Myers.
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Old 07-27-2017, 12:47 PM
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show not tell could come into the beginning imho.. your graphic details almost save you tho. really cool diction. hope is the lowest thing but it certainly perked the whole piece up a notch. mind you, as a hyphen adorer, i wonder why you needed only one. i would've sprinkled them everywhere. i have an extra stanza for you because u're really inspiring. however, i don't know you that well and i don't wanna peeve so i'm headed out. nice work. i like the command "Speak your mind." my favorite stanza.
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