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Old 04-22-2007, 12:52 AM
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Default Provocative (PG-13)

Willeon Cab

RUFUS ANDERSON, a tall, thin man in his early thirties
DAVID BRIGHT, a smart eighteen-year-old student
MARTHA REYNOLDS, a large woman in her late thirties
HARRY REYNOLDS, an ageing wheel-chaired man
FARAH REYNOLDS, a slim nineteen-year-old
DOCTOR RAMIREZ, the family doctor

The Reynolds’ living room

(At first, the lights are out. Screams of various people can be heard. Everything goes quiet, and after a few seconds, the lights slowly fade in, revealing a living room with three bloody corpses. RUFUS, wearing a blood-soaked trench coat, stands near the television while DAVID, wearing a blood-spattered school uniform, sits beside the corpse of FARAH.)

(DAVID drops the knife he was holding and RUFUS does the same with his. Both of them are facing the audience as they say the first four lines of their conversation.)

DAVID: Now, what?

RUFUS: What d’you mean, “Now what”?

DAVID: I mean, “Now what do we do”?

RUFUS: (sighs) I have no idea.

DAVID: (looking at RUFUS angrily) What? Get serious. I have no idea what we should do next. Let’s get this over with. I still have classes tomorrow.

RUFUS: (slowly approaching DAVID) Let me ask you one question.

DAVID: Okay, what is it?

RUFUS: Did you enjoy it? Was it very fulfilling?

DAVID: Those are two questions.

RUFUS: Doesn’t matter. Tell me how it felt.

DAVID: It feels… It feels… (pauses) …like dissecting a frog. Only bigger.

(RUFUS laughs wildly.)

DAVID: What did I say?

RUFUS: You didn’t know what you just said? A frog? Come on! I was talking about what it felt like mentally.

DAVID: Oh… I was happy. Yeah, you could say I was happy while doing that.

RUFUS: See? You’re feeling happy. Now, why the hell do you want to get this over quickly? You’re now a criminal, David. Repeat after me. Cri-mi-nal. (placing his hands on his waist) Now, as a new criminal, you need to be proud of what you had just done. Scream your lungs out! Be proud!

DAVID: Yeah, I guess so…

RUFUS: Go on. Scream!

DAVID: (going back to FARAH’s body sitting on the sofa) Poor Farah. I did this to her.

RUFUS: No, she did that to herself, dimwit.

DAVID: You’re right. She did this to herself.

(FARAH’s eyes opens. She sits straight on the couch and looks at DAVID.)

DAVID: See, Farah. I… I… I think you’re really a great girl. And… I always watch you whenever you dance. I think you’re a really, really great cheerleader. And—

FARAH: You always wanted to take me out, huh?

DAVID: Yes. But, you never give me a chance. Why, Farah? Why?

FARAH: (sighs and stands up) Dave, there are two kinds of people in this world, in this little damned world, the ones who has the right to go with me, and the ones who don’t have the right to go with me.

DAVID: And I am…?

FARAH: Duh?! Get away from me, nerdo! I prefer being dead. I’m guessing you’re a premature ejaculator.

(DAVID hears a voice whisper something gibberish. He stands up, and Farah sits down and closes her eyes, returning to her last position.)

DAVID: Was that you?


DAVID: Yeah. You were whispering something?

RUFUS: Nope, maybe that was just my fart.

DAVID: (shaking his head) No. I heard someone whispering.

RUFUS: I don’t know. It could be you. Maybe that’s the consequence of being a premature ejaculator. You hear invisible people (laughs hysterically).

DAVID: Stop it, Rufus.

RUFUS: Okay, okay. But, let’s just try to hide the bodies. Someone might knock on the door. You know the Reynolds, they’re famous around here. Let’s start with Mrs. Pig Ass.

(RUFUS and DAVID approaches MARTHA, who is lying facedown on the floor. RUFUS takes the feet while DAVID takes the shoulders. They try to drag her towards the closet on the right of the stage.)

RUFUS: Oh, fuck! How huge can you get! If we’re cannibals, we’ll be consuming only her in about a month.

(MARTHA’s eyes open.)

MARTHA: Oh, now don’t you start with me, boy. You’re already getting on my nerves.

RUFUS: And you’re getting in the closet.

DAVID: (struggling to drag MARTHA) Mrs. Reynolds, I am so sorry for doing this to you. We didn’t want a witness, you see. It’s not you we’re after…

MARTHA: Yeah, I know. It’s my daughter you were after. My God, I don’t know what my daughter has that other girls don’t have. Maybe it’s her fake breasts.


DAVID: Her breasts are fake?

MARTHA: What the hell?! Get me up!

DAVID: Sorry, Mrs. Reynolds.

(RUFUS and DAVID reach the closet. RUFUS opens the closet door and returns to MARTHA’s feet. RUFUS and DAVID carefully make MARTHA stand up.)

MARTHA: Oh, you boys better make sure you don’t put heavy things on me. Lay down newspapers first, will ya?

(RUFUS and DAVID put MARTHA in the closet.)

RUFUS: Bye, bitch.

MARTHA: Now, wait a minute! Hey--!

(RUFUS slams the door shut)

DAVID: (panting) Which one’s next?

RUFUS: (looking around) The bald man.

(RUFUS approaches HARRY, who is sitting on a wheelchair with a sickle impaled on his head.)

DAVID: Rufus.

RUFUS: What?

DAVID: Why did you help me anyway? I mean, we weren’t really that close.

RUFUS: As the school janitor, I suffered the same mockeries. The same tormenting comments.

DAVID: The same name-calling.

RUFUS: (nodding) Yeah. Dirty Rufus.

DAVID: Nerdo David.

RUFUS: Mopman.

DAVID: Geekalator.

RUFUS: Yes. I am sick and tired of all this. Besides, every time I’m cleaning in the cafeteria, and I see you all alone on the usual loser table, I could see it in your eyes. I saw the sparkle. You’ve always wanted to do this.

DAVID: (nodding) Yes… Yes…

RUFUS: Now, come on. This one’s next.

(DAVID approaches RUFUS. The phone rings. They both freeze.)

DAVID: Who could that be?

(HARRY opens his eyes.)

HARRY: Answer that, will ya? It could be my business associates.

(DAVID answers the phone and presses the loudspeaker button.)

DAVID: Hello?

VOICE OF DOCTOR RAMIREZ: Hello, can I speak to Sir Harry Reynolds?

DAVID: (looking nervously at HARRY) Who’s this?

RAMIREZ: This is Doctor Ramirez, his doctor. Is he there?

DAVID: (covering the phone’s mouthpiece) It’s your doctor. What shall I tell him?

HARRY: I’m sure you shouldn’t tell him that you killed me. Imagine his reaction. Either he’ll
think you’re crazy or he’ll call the cops.

DAVID: (to RAMIREZ) He’s sleeping.

RAMIREZ: He’s sleeping? Oh, so, his insomnia is now cured?

(RUFUS slaps his forehead.)

HARRY: Bad choice of excuse.

DAVID: No! I mean, he’s… um… in the garden?

RAMIREZ: They don’t have a garden.

RUFUS: Dammit!

(DAVID finds the phone cord and unplugs it.)

RUFUS: You should’ve done that earlier! How can you be so foolish?

DAVID: Well, he… he.. (points at HARRY)

RUFUS: What do you mean he? Don’t tell me you’ll be listening to what this geezer’s saying. He’s dead. And you just killed him. Dude, we don’t have the right to listen to what these things are saying. They’re already dead. Useless.

HARRY: How dare you.

DAVID: I only killed Farah, okay? You’re the one who killed her parents!

RUFUS: Yes, I did. But, whose idea is this anyway?

DAVID: Shut the hell up.

(RUFUS lunges towards DAVID and grips his arms tightly.)

RUFUS: David, think. Think of how you killed these people. These innocent people.

DAVID: I only meant to kill Farah!

HARRY: Yeah, he only killed Farah.

RUFUS: Shut up, old man!!

(HARRY returns to being dead.)

RUFUS: ((to DAVID) Lookie here, kiddo. I’m what you may call an accomplice. You’re the mastermind, because in the first place, you were the one who plotted this. Lucky I happened to be there while you were in that cubicle talking to yourself. Thank God.

DAVID: Let me go.

RUFUS: (grabbing DAVID’s neck) How’s this feel?

DAVID: (gasping for breath) Please, let me go.

(FARAH opens her eyes and looks at RUFUS and DAVID.)

FARAH: Nice.

HARRY: (opening his eyes) You’ll hurt him.

RUFUS: (smiling) That’s the point. As long as he accepts the fact that he’s the one responsible for all this… (tightens his grasp) …my hand will remain on his neck until—

(DAVID kicks RUFUS’ balls.)

RUFUS: (letting go of DAVID’s neck) Aarrghh.. Damn!

(DAVID runs towards his knife while RUFUS runs towards his. They pick their respective knives at the same time, and they pointed them at each other. The corpses just return to their original positions.)

RUFUS: Look. Look at what you’re doing. You’re about to kill your fourth person. Or is it just an urge when you picked up your weapon?

DAVID: (starting to cry) I want to get out of here. Please, let’s just escape. Let’s escape as if nothing had happened. We can still avoid killing each other.

RUFUS: What do they call you? Geekalator? Nerdo David? They call you names, names you don’t want to hear. They torture you with their words. Every word stings your mind. Every word wears you down. Geekalator. Nerdo David.

DAVID: Rufus, come on. Let’s stop this.

(Sirens are heard.)

RUFUS: There. The police. Do you know what this means? It’s all over. All over for you.

DAVID: You’re in this, too.

RUFUS: No, David. No. You killed them all, and I was just your instrument. I stabbed them with this (shakes his knife), but it was you who killed them.

DAVID: You’re insane, Rufus. YOU’RE INSANE!

RUFUS: No, David. You are. After a few minutes, you’ll be known to the world as a killer. As a murderer. As a criminal. Yeah, I will be with you, but everyone will have his attention on you. On you.

DAVID: I can’t go to jail. I still have to finish college. I need to help my mother.

RUFUS: Your mother? Tell me, were you thinking about your mother while you were killing the Reynolds? Were you?!

DAVID: (kneeling on the floor) Stop it! Stop it!

RUFUS: Your mother will think that you’re a disgrace. A disgrace!

DAVID: Oh, God. Please, stop it. Please!

RUFUS: Face it, David. It’s all over. (laughs)

DAVID: Aaaaaaarrrrrgggghhhh! (DAVID charge towards RUFUS, who is still laughing.)

(The doors open and two policemen enter, pointing their guns at DAVID. A neighbor follows
from behind. DAVID stops.)

NEIGHBOR: There he is! I saw him at the window. He killed them! The Reynolds! He killed them!

POLICEMAN 1: Freeze!

POLICEMAN 2: Hands on your head!

(The lights go out, and a spotlight is focused only on DAVID. He drops his knife, slowly faces the audience, and kneels down.)

DAVID: (whispers) I didn’t do anything.I swear to God. Someone forced me. It was Rufus. Trust me, it was Rufus. Not me. Not me.

(The light slowly fades in. The policemen approaches DAVID and handcuffs him. The place where RUFUS was standing now has a coat rack with a clean trench coat hanging on it.)

DAVID: (being led outside the door) No. It wasn’t me. (laughs and looks at the coat rack.) It was him. Rufus. He forced me. It was him.

(DAVID, POLICEMAN 2, and the NEIGHBOR exits the stage. POLICEMAN 1 takes out his radio.)

POLICEMAN 1: (to his phone) Yes. Send the team here right away. Yes, it was the teenager. Yes. Yes, all by himself. Alright. We’ll be waiting for them outside. (exits the stage)

(The lights abruptly go out.)

DAVID: It was RUFUS!!!!!!!

-- END --

Afterword: I have always been fascinated with psychological horror, and this play is actually kinda close to what I would call my "ideal play". Yes, I act, too, and I would really love to be Rufus rather than David.

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Last edited by Willeon Cab; 04-22-2007 at 01:15 AM..
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Old 04-26-2007, 02:16 PM
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Danny (Offline)
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I liked this very much, great job. It reminded of the novel Alias Grace.

Some comments:

I don't think the last comment by the policeman #1 is neccesary. Personally, I think the trench coat on the coat hanger is enough of a visual that David is suffering from some mental disorder. Show don't tell, is an important guideline that I try to follow when writing a play.

The peice of dialogue with the doctor on the phone may just be fluff - does it progress the scene in anyway? We know that Harry is an insomiac and that the Reynolds do not have a garden - but this information is not essential to the play itself.

Also, does the play have any subtext? Is it trying to say something to the audience? Yes, the plot the interesting and the characters are developed, but what is the audience going to feel as the play ends?

Overall, I found this very enjoying.

Last edited by Danny; 04-26-2007 at 03:31 PM..
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Old 04-30-2007, 04:29 PM
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I really like your script and I'm not a big script reader. I broke out in laugher, when David dropped Martha. I found it to be very entertaining.
Good job, I look forward to seeing the rest of your work.
A sense of humor is presupposed.
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Old 05-01-2007, 06:09 AM
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Thanks for your comments, guys.
I was actually laughing, too, while writing this one, and I also acted some scenes out with my sister.
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Old 05-02-2007, 12:20 PM
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Nice... do you plan on expanding?
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Old 05-02-2007, 08:28 PM
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I think this fifteen-minute script is enough..
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