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splitting personality, part 5, 3000 words, mafia, supernatural, horror

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Old 08-29-2014, 12:25 PM
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Default splitting personality, part 5, 3000 words, mafia, supernatural, horror

this is part five of seven, splitting personality, parts one and three have slipped to page two, parts two and four remain on page one.
this part contains
Warning, violence and language

part five --- due to a post part five is ahead of six and seven - the other parts have passed to pages 2 and 3. all seven parts are on this site

It was eleven fifteen before we started the car and hit the road west. Precious was happy to leave as Mrs. Moore waved good bye saying. “See you later, Precious.”

I guess it was funny the way she said Precious with a loving sigh and the way he cringed when she did.

But my mind is somewhere else, on much more serious things. The road was rough and dusty. A hundred miles was going to be a long way. And I don't have a clue what's waiting for us.

I don’t know how, but Precious almost went to sleep at the wheel. I got him awake enough to stop the car at a little gas station and general store.

The guy filled the car and I talked Precious into letting me drive when we left, he could try to sleep in the back seat. I went into the store and Linda was talking to the lady behind the counter. The lady reached under the counter and pulled out a nickel plated 38 Smith long nose. Linda's pistol of choice.

She took it and said. “This'll be good. A hundred rounds too.” The lady reached back under the counter and put two boxes of ammo on the counter. Linda without looking my direction asked like she knew one of us was going to start a fight over her buying the gun. “Do you need any bullets?”

I said as flat as I could trying to avoid the fight. “i don't know where we're going?” This was a development that could have waited a while. She was rather sharp “and a box 45 autos, hollow points if you got'em.”

The lady the lady put them in the sack. “That will be one hundred and fifty, include the gas.”

Linda was loading the 38. She said “B T.” I wondered 'Why is she trying to start a fight?'

I took it to mean - pay for the gun; so I gave the lady three fifties, and said rather pissed. “Let’s go.”

Linda grabbed the bag from the counter and followed as I walked toward the door. She asked a little loudly. “What are you so pissed about? You’re holding that damn cannon. I felt naked without a gun.”

I knew that this had to be defused. So I picked the best subject I could think of to just shut her down and get her to think. I stopped and turned once we were outside. I put my hands on her shoulders and held her at arms length. “Does that mean tonight we don’t have to wear those damn ‘Pjs’?”

A smile slowly formed on her face. She knew I didn't like this deal. “I think I understand why you don't want time to have the gun. You're afraid I'll go nuts again.”

I snickered. “It crossed my mind!”

She put her arms around my waist and lay her head on my shoulder “If I go crazy again, you and Polly have already decided to kill me. Right?” I started to push back and she held tighter and said. “Don’t worry, I would do the same thing if I was you.” She let go a little and looked me in the eye and said. “I’m keeping the damn gun.”

I sighed. “Ok.”

She snapped back. “I didn’t ask your god damn permission.”

I asked. “Linda, are you all right?”

She said. “Kiss me” In a little girl tone. She added. “Sometimes I slip away. That other faceless me wants to shoot you, but I stop her.”

I just shook my head. “That does not make me feel all that good.”

She said softly. “I’m keeping the god damned gun, and that's the fucking end of this conversation.” She took a deep breath and added. “I'll kill miss faceless before I let her hurt you.”

I didn’t continue the conversation. I kissed her a long soft kiss and then she said “The French thing, ok.” I kissed her once more and we walked to the car. I was sure of only one thing at that moment she did not need that damn gun.

Precious was asleep. I thought ‘he sure wasn’t much good as my protector.’ I opened the driver’s door. Linda slid in and over, I got behind the wheel. I drove away to the south west. The silence was deafening. I had to get her talking so I would know what she was feeling.

I asked. “What is this B T stuff?”

She laughed. “That Mrs. Moore asked me your name. I looked at you with that sour look on your face as you came in the door and bad trouble came to mind; So, B T.” She lay her head on my shoulder, hugged my arm and added. “I decided later it was, boy toy.”

That started the conversation and before long she said. “We have to turn to the right down here.”

I asked “Where?”

She yelled. “Shit! Back there.”

I stopped, backed up and ask “Where?”

She said. “Stop” I did. She said “Right there.”

I wasn't going to drive off into that sage brush. “That is not a road, hell! That’s not even a trail. There is only one track.”

She reassured. “I’ve driven down it before.”

I turned down the trail and followed it. The ground was flat and hard, in fact, it was smoother than the road. We only had a little trouble going up one slope and there in front of us was a group of adobe buildings. I stopped the car before I intended to because Linda was screaming for me to ‘stop’ before we got on the cleared area.

After we stopped she said. “We have to walk the rest of the way.”

I informed. “We could drive on up.”

She shook her head. “No, this is a sacred place for my Grandmother. I want to respect her.” She took the 38 from the waist band at the small of her back and said. “No guns, either.”

Precious woke and said. “Where are we?”

I answered “Where we're going.”

Linda told him. “You can stay in the car if you like. You really don't have business here. But if you go on the cleared area, no guns. Ok?”

He shook his head and said. “You tell us what to do.” I nodded ‘yeah.’

She said. “Thanks.” We got out of the car she added. “We need the heads.”

Precious nodded. “I'll get them.”

She said quickly. “No, Raven has to get them.” I looked at her questioningly. She said. “It’s like a form of respect.”

She usually doesn't call me Raven but I am known by my business associates as Raven. “Linda?”

She put her finger over my mouth and said. “The devil lives in the head and controls the hands and body. When you separated the head from the body, you became the keeper of the devil; if you don’t deliver the head to a new keeper.” She turned her head like a collie pup and said. “The devil will stay with you unless you say the words.”

I asked. “What about the other guy?”
She glared into my eyes. “I'm going to help carry the load. I did that killing all by myself.” I went to the back of the car and opened the trunk. I took the ice chest from the trunk and carried it to the front of the car. She took one side and we carried the heads onto the sacred ground. So we could say the freakin' words.

We walked up into an open plaza close to the adobes and two old women came out and took the chest. It seemed ok with Linda and so I let it go. I sort of joked. “I sure hope that isn’t going to be supper.”

She snapped her head around and looked me in the eyes. “Look I'm scared enough as it is without your help or your jokes.”

I said. “I just got nervous and had to say something.”

She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I know, but this is really going to get weird now.” I wondered how this could get any stranger but I didn't ask.

I tried to change the subject. “Are you going to introduce me to your grandmother?”

She said softly as she watched the ice chest be taken away. “She won’t be here till later.”

Precious walked up behind and said. “So, where are we?”

I jumped and screamed. “Don’t do that!” I realized that Linda had done the same thing and started that nervous laugh. She laughed too and said. “Precious, don’t do that, ok?”

He shrugged his shoulders as if to say, what and ok all at the same time. He asked again, “So, where are we?” Linda said. “My grandmother is here.” Precious and I both knew she hadn’t answered the question and wasn’t going to.

We walked over to an old unstable table and sat down in the shade of a make shift cover of brush. A girl about eleven or twelve brought three small flat bowls to the table. She sat one of them in front each of us. Linda said sort of under her breath. “The ritual, the words begin.”

The girl stood by the table until another older lady walked up from behind. As she walked to occupy the same space the younger girl stepped out of the way. The old woman was going to pore from a weird looking ‘pitcher.’ It had several spouts and each one was different in color combinations, or shapes. She sat the pitcher on the table and spun it. When it stopped she poured from the spout closest to the flat bowls into the selected bowl. She stood there and waited. After a while she looked to Linda. Linda almost jumped but caught herself. She said. “We are to drink from the bowls.”

I said. “What is it?”

She curled up her nose. “Well, it isn’t shit but it tastes like it could be.” She picked up her bowl and said. “Drink it all in one drink. Quickly is best.”

I picked up the bowl and smelled the thick green almost liquid. Linda drank hers and put the bowl back on the table. Precious did the same. I looked at Linda, she was still trying to get the taste out of her mouth as she sort of shook in her seat and made horrible faces.

I turned the stuff up and drank it down trying not to taste it. But, it was almost too thick to swallow and my mind told me to chew it. There will never be anything that tastes that bad ever again. But it was down.

The cover shading us was removed and we were back in the Sun. They left us for a while. We just sat in the hot sun. The older lady poured some water in another bowl. I watched the water. It started to steam. We had been drugged, some kind of heavy hallucinogen. I looked to see Linda as hundreds of little white butterflies were landing all over her and then flying away. I saw their eyes. They were dark green that changed to black at the edges. The butter flies chest had an area of red feathers that showed as the thumbnail size creatures took a breath.

Precious was swatting at something. It looked like a large group of gnats. He was beginning to sweat. Then he collapsed face first on the table. The old woman spoke in an echoing voice as if we were in a large metal drum. “He will not be joining us.” I didn't see her lips move.

The sky darkened as the shadow of the clouds covered us and bolts, rays of bright light passed through.

I realized it wasn’t clouds, it was crows, hundreds, maybe thousands of crows. One of the crows landed on the table. The table vanished. Linda was at ease with the hundreds maybe thousands of butterflies that were perched all over her. Her heavy blond hair was like a halo around her face as one of the bolts of light shown in her face. The butterflies that crossed the bolts of sun light turned black and then changed back to white as they again became part of the darkness. I shook my head to try to find reality in my mind.

The old woman echoed. “The Raven is here.” I reached out my arm to stop the huge bird from getting to close to me. It jumped on my arm and sat there. The old woman said. “The wind is here.” I looked toward Linda and watched as darkness rolled in and the butterflies were blown into the darkness. They were like stars twinkling in the night. The Raven sat on my arm as if he were part of it.

A single slightly larger butterfly flew over and lit on Linda’s right ear. We were given a bowl. It had some oil in it and a wick floating on a piece, of wood I think.

The wick snapped with a flame and we were suddenly parading toward an underground area not far away. My mind tells me I couldn’t have even moved and then it assures me I did walk. We went down a set of well worn irregular stone steps. For some reason I counted them; thirteen.

We pored the wicks and floatation devices into a larger container;slowly so the flame on the wick would not go out. The larger pot had several floating wicks that gave off a very bright light.

Someone brought a covered basket into the area. The cover was removed and the voice told me to remove one of the skulls from the basket. I picked up the one farther away, that’s the one I was supposed to pick up. I just knew which one to pick up. Linda reached for the other and held it. She reached out to me holding the skull between the palms of her hands. And I reached the skull I was holding toward her in the same matter.

I let the skull go with one hand, I was like it was stuck to my hand. I placed my empty hand on the one she was holding. She did the same and we traded skulls.

MY BACK STING with pain, like a bull whip had hit it and my head hurt from a blow to the jaw. I went to my knees with the pain. I couldn't believe it was happening – I was just eight years old. Linda didn't turn but I could see her back, it was bloody and you could see the tracks of the whip. She couldn't have been more that eight years old either. The tracks of the whip disappeared into scars and new bloody whip tracks appeared.

I felt each one; it seemed to go on forever. But the pain seem to be less with each new lash of the whip. I felt another head rattling blow to my jaw. She was facing me. Her jaw swelled and then retreated - again and again. I began to feel the hate she had for this demon and I felt no guilt for taking his life except maybe that his pain hadn't lasted longer.

The skull she was holding began to ooze blood out the empty eye sockets. It covered her hands and then the rest of her. I felt something warm on my foot; where are my boots? The blood had crawled across the rock floor and was running up my leg. A 38 long nose was floating in the air pointed at Linda. It fired again and again and again until it was empty. The first bullet reached Linda and the look on her face told me she felt it; and the next, for five rounds. Each round hit her in the chest. If this continued as it happened the broken butcher knife was next. It appeared almost as I thought about it - that broken bladed knife. I couldn’t let go of the head, skull, I was holding, and I damn sure tried.

The knife floated over to Linda and stopped close to her neck. After a moment the blood on her nose began to move toward the knife like a snakes tongue flickering around in the air. It finally found the broken butcher knife's blade and began to flow away from her and into the knife. She smiled and I knew, I just knew she was feeling me cut, rip, her dad's head off. The handle of the knife began to swell like a tick. Then it burst. I tried to dodge the flying blood.

Linda was the only one with blood on her. I was clean.

An ax appeared and touched the skull I was holding. I could see for the first time that it was the head of the other guy, not her dad. The ax touched the head and the blood that was covering Linda began to run down and out her feet across the rock floor and up my leg.

It never reached above my shoulders but instead ran out my arms and into the head I was holding. The blood drained into the ax and when it was gone. The ax just vanished disappeared. I heard Linda, but her lips were not moving. “The words have been said.” The room got brighter and the heads, skulls, was taken from us by the ladies that were there.

I felt normal. No echoes sounds in my head; I was just in an underground room filled with several people. Linda smiled, but didn't speak. I heard her just the same. 'Hell of a ride don’t you think?'

I tried to speak but couldn't, the word still came. 'More of a ride through hell.'

A lady came by and gave me a larger bowl of something and one to Linda. I looked at the bowl and Linda. She didn't said. 'It’s a kind of beer. It tastes pretty good.' We drank the beer and 'talked' to the people. She introduced me to her grandmother and her aunt.

Who were both dead.

The people began to leave. I followed Linda’s lead. We stayed. The flames on the wicks began to burn out as the oil in the pot burned away and they could soak up no more fuel. The room got darker and darker. Until finally there were only two wicks left. Two guys in the corner of the room started to walk over to us. Linda looked sad, 'I don’t think we're going to like this part.'

The wicks had settled into a deeper part of the pot and started to burn brighter. It happens when there is no more oil and the wick itself catches fire.

When the two got close enough to the light to distinguish features Linda introduced me. 'Raven, this is my father.' A chill ran up my spine as before my eyes I saw the bloody pulp of a man take on human features, a nose, eyes, mouth. She added. 'And my cousin Josh.' His face was human when I saw him but from the look on Linda’s face the same wasn’t true for her.

Josh angry words pored into my mind. 'I don’t have anything to say to either of you.'

The old man restrained him. 'Shut up, Josh.' He looked at us and added. 'Josh just don’t want to be dead. And he sure don’t want to be trapped here.' He added in an echoing tone 'No, Josh isn’t trapped here, he can go on. But I can't.' He looked at me and continued. 'Your friend doesn’t understand, Baby.'

Linda smiled. 'You haven't called me that in years, Daddy.'

He sort of lowered his head to look at the floor. 'Haven’t been myself in years.'

Linda nodded. 'Daddy and Josh are here and can stay if they want or come back if they want.

But the demons in their heads are here forever. They are not trapped in this place but in the skull. If the skull is destroyed the demons are released.' One of the wicks flickered and went out. Josh was gone.

Linda and her father talked for a while and then he said to me. 'I would like to thank you for your help.' He reached out his hand and I started to take it.

Linda slapped my hand away. She said out loud “Daddy, shame on you.” He laughed and said. “You have to try.”

Linda told me “If he can get the person who killed him to touch him on purpose. Well he can take over that person.”

The old man laughed and the wick sparked and went out. We were in total darkness but somehow I found Linda and held her as much for me as for her.

The stars started to reappear in the sky and it slowly got lighter and lighter until it was just dusty dark. The sun was just rising - no setting. Yeah, setting; that's west. Precious was snoring - that’s the way we found him. We followed the noise. He was in the back seat of the car.

I said. “Are we done here?”

She smiled, contented. “Yeah, we’re done. The words have been said.”

if you're writing over your readers head - tum etiam, ut graece scribens --- the secret of success changes;the truth of failure remains constant; if you try to please everyone you will fail.

Last edited by max crash; 09-03-2014 at 08:51 AM..
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Old 09-03-2014, 08:27 AM
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Interesting journey. Pleasing the mind- I feel that we get somewhere with this one. Too important. A Last Lap- recounting the "Great Journey" into adult life and the Tradition.

It's hard to separate the Raven from the action of the plot. The way you introduce the Raven to the story after the Gun is less focused and almost removed from the presence is effective. Seems really important. When the Raven reappears the women have gone through and have taken part in the ritual.

Powerful imagery helps keep the action flowing in the encounter. The crows, the food, the scars, and the flickering wicks and sculls help to ground the audience into the rite of passage.

Adding a flashback would help break up the linear flow of the action.
As the saying goes,
first the Dread,
so remember to Dream the Descent.
No despair- it is the Decision.
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Old 09-03-2014, 08:45 AM
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a flash back - maybe, this is a rather elongated story it wouldn't hurt to put in a reminder of the past

thanks for the input I was wondering if anyone, other than viewers, was reading the series.

thanks Max
if you're writing over your readers head - tum etiam, ut graece scribens --- the secret of success changes;the truth of failure remains constant; if you try to please everyone you will fail.

Last edited by max crash; 09-03-2014 at 08:49 AM..
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