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  #6121  
Old 07-06-2018, 12:16 AM
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repost from elsewhere, the troll's forum about receiving a ban from a writer's forum upon merely submitting his name there for registration

the goblin thanked the writer's forum for once more rubber stamping his growing qualification for being on this troll's forum too, in fact the goblin too had had his fair share of being banned lately, yet however bad that was somehow he knew that that wasn't nearly as bad as being told to move on from a local bistro, happening earlier this week, explaining "...yes humans, you may now take out your hankies, if you can afford one that is, and weep profusely on my behalf...", where the goblin knew that the number of writer's forums on the internet were far in excess than the number of bistros with WIFI near to his home now, continuing "...oh yes the pain and anguish of it all, whatever will become of me now I wonder, such talent wasted indeed..."


xxxx 6120 469718


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  #6122  
Old 07-08-2018, 02:01 PM
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repost chatting with flea

everybody died with her, my siblings vanished - escaped if you will and so death came and didnít leave ... Ďthe reaper filled every room, every bedtime and bathtime babe, that dawn chorus, he made those swallows wail, he weighted our steps and wrapped anna in drab. He stole Christmas wishes and tainted Easter appetite - he stalled the theatre of summer and held back the tides, he took away food from the table and starved conversation, he made my homework illegible and my schoolwork stupid.í anna thought for a moment before recalling ĎNow see she was a Cambridge bluestocking - the mother of all spinsters - a family friend who designed to take me on a day trip with her niece - it was a stately home with merry-go-round, carousel ... we asked tentatively, all best manners - had never been on anything like that before and she bought us tickets without hesitation.í So bright and pretty and the music waltzy. whizzy. ĎWe dared to ask again and then again and on till dusk. I lost death on that ride babe, he couldnít cling on, nah, that maiden aunt took on the reaper - that soft hearted academic sat and sort of wept him right away.í

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  #6123  
Old 07-08-2018, 05:08 PM
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Default baby burners 'r -- where? oh--

Everybody peaceful seems to be getting shot

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI%E2%80%93King_suicide_letter#/media/File:Mlk-uncovered-letter.png
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  #6124  
Old 07-08-2018, 11:57 PM
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repost from elsewhere, chatting with anna

"...well all I have to do now is live on through it really..." confided the goblin knowing that there was much more to the job of "caring for one's spouse" than that, yet sure enough wasn't that the gist of it really, adding "...it's selfish on my part, but I can ill afford to go out with her there, neither to die with her nor to die before her neither, whereas afterwards it's just "whenever then" I guess, where I am not sure if it's love between us still, anyway not like that youthful passion we once had known before those other priorities killed that off with the coldness of lack of any physical contact, but I'm so used to her as my queen of hearts that it'll fling me to the forefront without her now...", so all was on hold at this point, as if nothing at all mattered beyond doing the right thing and preserving oneself in full health to the bitter end, sighing "...unspoken of course but it's like being in some slow motion race now, one where I just have to remain in better health than her of course, yes my life got suddenly real with the news of her cancer, so much so that everything else seems trivial and matters so little to me, even to the point where it just seems surreal in its passing..."



xxxx 6123 470578

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  #6125  
Old 07-09-2018, 07:13 AM
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Repeat your line: Everybody dies.

Repeat your line: Lies makes us wise. Lies. Lies keep us alive.

How much money do I have to pay you to post a comment online with a list of content? Everybody dies Anna. Everyone you know, including your children. They all die no matter what you do, it just depends on how long you have to wait. It depends on what you do and how long they will live after what you do everyday is discovered for what it is --

Tell me how safe and comfortable you feel with this image knowing what you know about how seeing a plain photo of a whistle followed by a suicide letter to MLK Jr. from the FBI -- Anna, do you love this game as much as you love life? Everybody dies, inside and out, in this game, it's just time whizzing by --




Originally Posted by fleamailman View Post
("...perhaps the hardest part was admitting to myself that yes I had enough money to support her in her in her old age only if she didn't live beyond a certain date..." confided the goblin who didn't trust the pension system as it stood, stating "...when they took the interest away from savings, both by quantitative easing and by running up debts themselves, what they did was criminal as it steals from savers...", where the captain for her part loved working too, just that for both of them retirement meant redundancy, sighing "...those who live for retirement are just in the wrong job I guess...")

repost from elsewhere, troll's forum the "trumpGate: How much longer will donald trump last in office" thread

"...no, I like trump still and I feel that he hasn't gone far enough in investigating the corruption, so I'm happy to have him impeached because in doing so it'll will bring to light all the other things that those on capital hill are both collectively and individually hiding..." went the goblin content to have everything out in the open then, before thinking back to the constitution, on over those words for these things we hold to be self evident on to the bit that now reads the good life, lobbying and the pursuit of general self interest where possible, sighing "...ah yes, just today corruption is ever the currency of capital hill as is were, I mean why for example have they exempted themselves from obamacare, and how come they are filthy rich way beyond their salaries, so don't just stop with trump please, no how about we go for a clean sweep concerning the finances and behaviour of all of them...", in fact, the goblin thanked trump for getting everyone so interested in anti corruption in general, asking "...ok now, so which one of them isn't actually corrupt..."

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  #6126  
Old 07-09-2018, 10:15 AM
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("...yes I wrote that post, and I meant it too..." smiled the goblin suspecting that so much of american politics was just corrupt now, so much so that it just blended in well with all the other countries by now, where no one could point out that america was any better than china or russia or the EU for that matter, no the patriot act had put an end to all pretense there, it was the sickness of a failing empire then, adding "...no, odd as it may seem, my hope is that deutsche bank actually collapses shortly, why, because if deutsche bank doesn't collapse then they'll have to go to war if only too find any other excuse not to blame themselves for the devaluation of currency, whether that blame be the fed's actions, or the government's tacit support...", in fact the goblin, having his wife's illness on hand, hadn't written much about politic of late, yet somehow that previous promise of "boys home by christmas, close gitmo, and repeal the patriot act" sounded far to founding father like to make any headway today, sighing "...no, me I miss the founding fathers, and george washinton's "no foreign intanglements", or thomas jefferson's "no central bank too, btw did you ever see that black and white television program "queen for a day", well now if you missed it, you have a new program that goes by the name of "king for four years" or eight years if it goes into a second term...")

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  #6127  
Old 07-09-2018, 02:37 PM
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Yeah, King be layiní it down in all directions and still be dominating the movement (like Michael Jordan).

Thatís a real man there. Funny thing is, the smear campaign by the FBI went nowhere at all. Might have even made King MORE popular. Kinda like the Clinton sex scandal. So salacious you wanted to be that guy more than you wanted to persecute him.
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  #6128  
Old 07-09-2018, 11:19 PM
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("...I love this thread, it has no particular topic really, just those who post here have what it takes to keep me returning..." smiled the goblin enjoying the reads)


repost from elsewhere, the "how to revive the forum" thread

"...naah, I'm never here for those reviews anyway, in that I don't expect others to review my posts that is, anymore than I think that my inability to write qualifies me in any way to review their works of others here neither..." related the goblin between the rain showers outside on what seemed a day badly missing that fast forward button, moreover, the bistro lacked flowers too, and the two italians whom not knowing each other had decided to strike up a conversation shouting over the bistro floor at one another, then adding "...no, instead I'm here because I realize that there are more readers reading short interactive content, which are what these post mostly are it seems, than most anything else going, meaning what exactly, meaning that I have to keep an eye on the hitcount to those threads I frequent lest I lose sight of you my readers here, my repliers hopefully...", in fact, it was all rather simple really, for inside the goblin's mind was an endless array of possibilities most of which as of yet unknown to him that he could try to grasp for with his pen still, whereas outside the goblin's mind was just his reality of hearing yet more italian now, none of which he understand by the way, or if he closed his ears to that italian noise, looking at the plants without flowers though there too he imagined he could wait for them to flower if he had to now, or finally he could look out through the bistro window at passersby in hope that at least one of them was mad, well at least mad enough to do something quite unexpected by it, anything unexpected really, to which the goblin concluded with a sigh "...alas humans once more my today of reality compels me back into my imaginative side again where to be quite honest with you your forum is like hotel california to me, for here is my imaginative side then..."




xxxx 6127 470882

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  #6129  
Old 07-11-2018, 01:02 AM
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repost from elsewhere


"...it's not that something is perfectly written that makes it pulling enough to actually read, no it's that it's first pulling in itself as it is to begin with that makes it so perfect to me when I read it, ah but what would I know though, no you humans are always funny like that in thinking that it's somehow it's presentation over substance there..." ventured the goblin not disagreeing with anyone here, then adding "...yes, just perhaps then, like most things in life one first has to learn the rules in order to get away with breaking them later, I mean look at the greats as we remember them today, how they all learned their trade at the time then somehow unlearned whatever it was at the time to become remembered by what they produced in its place, simply they turned the old school of thought in its head, who, the likes of van gogh, the beatles, coleridge, and dickens too to name but a few here, whereas today we wouldn't remember any of them if they too had just followed the crowd like the rest of them had at the time...", at which point the goblin suddenly remembered the line "besides, if you write like everyone else then "like everyone else" is all it becomes", so the goblin smiled on repeating to himself "...no, better to be in the wrong for a real good reason than in the right for no reason at all, just saying though..." but to be honest here the goblin also suspected the nobody normal would ever read his post this far let alone reply to it here, sighing "...ah yes, one can always unlearn something by going against its teachings, but alas one can't unread this post now that one has read it...", "...probably because it contains no learning at all goblin..." intervened the slot before swallowing the post down whole before the goblin could reply back



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  #6130  
Old 07-11-2018, 01:13 AM
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repost from elsewhere

"...so whose the livewriter now..." asked the goblin amazed with the imagery of anna's previous post there, then adding "...no, nothing to report my end as the appointment with her doctor for the details and dates of her treatment is set for tomorrow afternoon, where other than that though life just carries on as normal again I suppose...", yes life was still the same here, in that it looked exactly the same as before only that now it had a new backdrop to it, to which the goblin confided "...funny isn't it, it's as if I've been given a new lease of life by simply being reminded that it was after all only a lease, so I've stopped trying to hold onto that forever there, ah now it's like each day is a gift to me, a day to be appreciated while it lasts, seemed I just had bad priorities before, so this new backdrop makes me appreciative of what remains I guess..."



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  #6131  
Old 07-11-2018, 07:55 PM
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There were twenty-five radiation treatments ó one a day, for twenty-five days. They gave me lidocaine in a gel to try to swallow before I ate, and liquid Vicodin for in between. But I couldnít eat, couldnít even get down a spoonful of ice cream. The radiation burned my neck and shoulders so badly they looked like an old leather saddle left out on the plains in the sun for a couple of years. By the time it was all over, that saddle looked like a brushfire had passed over it, too ó burnt black, with big cracks and pus oozing out. I couldnít imagine what the inside looked like. I lived on nutritional shakes, but lost sixteen of the thirty-six pounds Iíd gained during chemo. Gained during chemo, you say? Yes: gained during chemo. My doctor marveled at that, saying, ďYouíre the only patient Iíve ever had who comes in five pounds heavier each time.Ē

But hell, all I did was eat and sleep. Iíve got an iron gut, anyway. I didnít feel all that good during the treatments, but then again, I hadnít felt all that good before. I found myself hugging the toilet a few times, but nothing ever came up. Guess I was lucky. (Thereís that word again.)

Iím the only person Iíve ever come across who keeps mentioning ďluckyĒ when discussing their cancer. I was lucky it was found when it was; lucky to have good support in the absence of my family (no one in my family called or came by to see if I was living or dying. Instead, my brother spread rumors like, ďHeís on the street, doing drugs. Heís fucked off all of his treatments,Ē when in reality, I was home in my bed); lucky that Janine had been there to take me to UCSF the first time and that Teresa had gone with me to my first chemo.

I was lucky to have Sarah take care of my kids, and when she was no longer able to, I was lucky sheíd chosen to turn them over to the only other people Iíd have wanted them with. I was lucky to have Peter as a friend, and I was lucky he knew the people in the Arcata Breast Health Project who stayed with me over the phone ítil the end. And Iím also lucky ó and happy ó to be alive. And thatís what happiness is. Itís not about having enough money to get high and go partying every night of the week, or anything else like that. Itís about being alive, and when you realize that, happiness comes easy.
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  #6132  
Old 07-12-2018, 06:40 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
There were twenty-five radiation treatments ó one a day, for twenty-five days. They gave me lidocaine in a gel to try to swallow before I ate, and liquid Vicodin for in between. But I couldnít eat, couldnít even get down a spoonful of ice cream. The radiation burned my neck and shoulders so badly they looked like an old leather saddle left out on the plains in the sun for a couple of years. By the time it was all over, that saddle looked like a brushfire had passed over it, too ó burnt black, with big cracks and pus oozing out. I couldnít imagine what the inside looked like. I lived on nutritional shakes, but lost sixteen of the thirty-six pounds Iíd gained during chemo. Gained during chemo, you say? Yes: gained during chemo. My doctor marveled at that, saying, ďYouíre the only patient Iíve ever had who comes in five pounds heavier each time.Ē



But hell, all I did was eat and sleep. Iíve got an iron gut, anyway. I didnít feel all that good during the treatments, but then again, I hadnít felt all that good before. I found myself hugging the toilet a few times, but nothing ever came up. Guess I was lucky. (Thereís that word again.)



Iím the only person Iíve ever come across who keeps mentioning ďluckyĒ when discussing their cancer. I was lucky it was found when it was; lucky to have good support in the absence of my family (no one in my family called or came by to see if I was living or dying. Instead, my brother spread rumors like, ďHeís on the street, doing drugs. Heís fucked off all of his treatments,Ē when in reality, I was home in my bed); lucky that Janine had been there to take me to UCSF the first time and that Teresa had gone with me to my first chemo.



I was lucky to have Sarah take care of my kids, and when she was no longer able to, I was lucky sheíd chosen to turn them over to the only other people Iíd have wanted them with. I was lucky to have Peter as a friend, and I was lucky he knew the people in the Arcata Breast Health Project who stayed with me over the phone ítil the end. And Iím also lucky ó and happy ó to be alive. And thatís what happiness is. Itís not about having enough money to get high and go partying every night of the week, or anything else like that. Itís about being alive, and when you realize that, happiness comes easy.


Yeah Steve, yadda, yadda, yadda. So when is your book coming out? And more importantly, when can I read it in its final form? Oh... not to seem insensitive; Iím not, but I have a hard time not being selfish.

So...?
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  #6133  
Old 07-13-2018, 01:32 AM
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("...well, we're here to encourage other folks to write brian, where I certainly learned a lot form Prod's post there..." mentioned the goblin before adding "...so my wife and I went to the hospital yesterday to have her liver tumor needled so as to find out if it's just bad or really bad, only that the ultra sound scanner couldn't find the tumor this time around so they sent my wife home telling here that next week's appointment is still on where no doubt they'll decide things without knowing for sure I imagine, great, place your bets now...", well of course the goblin hoped that her cancer had been nipped in the bud, and that it had been only in the large colon, being hopefully the part that had been removed, and that the rest was just some false positive, yet without actually knowing it was just best not to build one's hope up too high now, nor dash those same hopes neither, sighing "...since I can't stand living in suspense like this, I'm trying to live in a mental state of some non committal "wait and see" instead, meanwhile we just live in the present more than before...")

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  #6134  
Old 07-13-2018, 11:09 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Yeah Steve, yadda, yadda, yadda. So when is your book coming out? And more importantly, when can I read it in its final form? Oh... not to seem insensitive; Iím not, but I have a hard time not being selfish.

So...?
I'll send you a soft copy now, if you'd like. Even though a few of you stuck with me through the creation of it, no one has seen the whole thing in it's final form, complete. Remember the member a couple of years ago who wrote great shorts but it didn't come together as a whole? I want to make sure I'm not doing the same thing, so if you were to absorb it front to back, end to end, all at once in its entirety, and then speak to me plainly regarding your impression of it, why then I'd know if it was something I could put out there without embarrassing myself.

I've got to do it soon though, otherwise I'll tear it up and start all over again.
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Old 07-14-2018, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
I'll send you a soft copy now, if you'd like. Even though a few of you stuck with me through the creation of it, no one has seen the whole thing in it's final form, complete. Remember the member a couple of years ago who wrote great shorts but it didn't come together as a whole? I want to make sure I'm not doing the same thing, so if you were to absorb it front to back, end to end, all at once in its entirety, and then speak to me plainly regarding your impression of it, why then I'd know if it was something I could put out there without embarrassing myself.



I've got to do it soon though, otherwise I'll tear it up and start all over again.


Can you email it?
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Old 07-17-2018, 05:19 AM
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repost from elsewhere

the goblin returned to himself, his dailylife couldn't really hide him enough, nor for long neither, stating "...being in love with someone half my age has had me taking care of myself at least, does that shock you now that I'm in love at my age, it does me for what I feel inside, no I've been so dutifully dead for so long that I didn't think I could love anyone ever again...", in fact, the goblin's heart was up against his head at this point, yes it was the worst moment too, where nobody could possibly understand, nor would forgive if told then, nor would they be told for that matter, sighing "...plus she's absolutely the wrong person for me, first off she's crazy, she smokes, she drinks, she gets into fights in bars, where all that, together with all those other faults too, just compels me all the more towards her for the madness I have none of...", where they say "never marry a boxer" don't they, and where instead of straying the old man would just do his duty to the last but somewhere inside the goblin though it would simply be what it was within then, without his letting on




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  #6137  
Old 07-17-2018, 09:39 AM
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repost from elsewhere

whatever happiness the goblin had was tempered somewhat by a certain sobriety and by his growing acceptance of the actual uncertainty of his future, all being something understandable even, explaining "...you see, the further back I go into my past the more I seemed to hold securely a lie perhaps knowing it was just a lie all the same, and yet believing in its simplicity as one might believe in either god or santa, and even now, that child in me craves for that lie still that the rest of me can't or won't accept any more, simply the child in me craves its american dream still with those safe perimeters of work, family and home...", where all along any belief the goblin held in something was a measure of his doubt in it too, since it simply showed that he didn't know it for sure since he was only believing in it then, and where this sobriety of this age together with his growing sobriety too, had shown him that the american dream had been a facade all along, and that nothing either that simple nor that certain could be really, yet that belief had still been comfortable compared to this sobriety of today's understanding that nothing is certain save for one's own exit, whereupon the goblin, concluded "...and, although I can't interpret any of this present day sobriety as happiness per se, which it isn't of course, at least I am grateful to be able to accept what remains of my life with its uncertainty and knowing too that it's this uncertainty that has made my life all the more real to me for being tinged with uncertainty even..."



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  #6138  
Old 07-17-2018, 01:35 PM
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Iím happy to report from the American middle class, that the ďAmerican DreamĒ is alive and well! Thundering (as if) from the utterances of the almighty on high!

Yes, there are problems. Yes, inequity. Yes, mistakes. Yes, corruption. But... itís still pretty good here for the average joe.

.


Iím sitting here ^^^ eating a late lunch, and wondering what all the doom and gloom is about these days.
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Old 07-18-2018, 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Can you email it?
Part of the charm of living here behind the redwood curtain is having technology and services that people elsewhere would consider "quaint". Accordingly, our internet service, which is dismal in the best of times, has been alternating between spotty and off for the last several days, but now that it seems to be staying on for more than a few minutes at a time, I will send it off to you.
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Mr. Ed said I should use his signature, since he's not anymore. In honor of his good friend Nok, here it is: "As far as smoking a cigar," she said, "I'd not know where to start or how to start." "It's simple," said I, "You light one end and chew on the other and hope to meet in the middle."
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  #6140  
Old 07-21-2018, 10:52 PM
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repost from elsewhere, the troll's forum


go find a hobby, and not one that involves you pretending to be another species and speaking in third person that one got old 9 years ago
"...ah but then whatever hobby you suggest would just be that hobby there I imagine, just a hobby as you put it, no better than football perhaps, where instead of that, me I like writing in this gise because it's something one can do right up into my old age, and once one is writing in third person it offers one the possibilities of both narration and of dialog too, explaining why most other posts here seem visually flat by comparison don't they, and where my threefold goal remains a writer's way with words, an illustrator's eye for pictures, and the perseverance of a troll even, something that would hardly come into being now if I had followed your advice of some unimaginative hobby like, stamp collecting, train spotting, or trolling to no purpose with stuff that one doesn't recollect later..." smiled the goblin knowing too that the use of a persona was merely a way to clear that void left when writing in third, explaining too "...you see, readers don't like blancs where I could hardly write the albeit more truthful explanation of "says the one who is writing this" here, and where a goblin persona, such a mine is, is so easily remembered by anyone who reads it, I mean who remembers usernames whereas who doesn't wish to forget conversing with a goblin now...", at which point the goblin concluded the obvious by recounting "...online one is simply whatever one makes of oneself here, one's imagination at its freest , whereas in dailylife it's just ever what it make of you still for all one's imagination, ever one's reality as it sees you by now, naah I've been my external long enough, for now want to be my internal instead, where who is anyone to tell me what I am inside, no only I know that really, and even I don't know that for sure yet..."


xxxx 6138 473605

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  #6141  
Old 07-21-2018, 11:17 PM
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"...no, I can't help my feelings, I can only help my actions toward other people I guess, perhaps I was just being too honest with you there, and no I haven't slept with anyone in many many years, and no again I won't sleep with anyone neither, but that girl has made me wake up to the man that I still am inside, where I have lived like a eunuch at my wife's request so long, and all for the children's sake too, so I am that eunuch still but now I have to outlive her at this point, thus I have stop letting my body go, and with my body moving back into its prior shape my libido grows again, simply my wife had no right to reject me and expect me to live in that state of rejection for the sake of the family, but I did and now it's too late anyway...", yet the old man is considerate to his wife in her every need but the little goblin within him hates the old man far more than he resents his wife for the past, then asking back "...btw would you have preferred me to have lied to you there, I could still if you wish it of me as it would just be yet another perimeter for me not to step over towards you here, for in truth I'm already lying to myself in pretending to be that unfeeling libidoless eunuch just for the family's sake, so ok I've never voiced it to her, and I'll never voice it now neither, instead I'll just do my duty because I'm man enough to do my duty in a situation such as this is, but a real man would have been someone very very different form this me I guess..."



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  #6142  
Old 07-22-2018, 11:55 PM
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anna sat motionless, thinking - this writing lark ... he didnít stir but he felt the itch ... Ďitís like that blackberry picking on a scorching day in the middle of some thicket babeí she whispered curled up in a ball behind him - Ďin shorts and skimpy T-shirt and flip-flops, all gangly legs then, gob stopper kaleidoscope eyes and shouting over, purple fingers and sickly taste, some cheese wire cut for your trouble, smarting like a crimson sparkler wrapping itself round your child flesh and that looking down at the ice cream box in shame, wishing it was - with a spoon, a few berries some tinged green on the underbelly rolling around like undersized marbles, bullets, because however hard you tried you couldnít reach the juicy fruit and the wondering that the bushes hadnít closed fast around you and a rabbit hole all dark and inviting to somewhere else then and the fear that youíd never be reunited with the loving arms of that war-child parent - that you had ached to escape from not moments before ... ever nourishment, labouring on, laboriously gathering, seemingly oblivious to your doubts, overflowing dishes of every description - to feed you blackberry and apple pie then.í

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  #6143  
Old 07-24-2018, 11:29 PM
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("...love your posts anna, they're just more and more you by them too, simply it's like looking at some oil painting or water color and straight off recognizing the artist merely by those brushstrokes again, and yes they'll always be those who prefer one artist to another, who cares as readers come along for the ride, but you'll be remembered by this promise, why, because there are not may writers of posts today, those who livewrite I mean..." smiled the goblin at his usual spot in the bistro, well while he could still be in the bistro that is, for sure enough the sun looked like it was about to command respect lest anyone forgot who is running the weather show of late)


repost from elsewhere

"...sorry, I'm not the best of company of late..." related the goblin grateful for the company though then continuing "...moreover, they're now giving me other days off in revenge for my asking for days off in the first place, where in my line of work I have to be dependable, yet how can I be dependable where there's a lot of stress in not knowing what chemotherapy treatment the doctors have lined up for my wife, thursday hopefully at least that much will be clear..." related the goblin before adding "...no, I can't show any doubt on my face, nor hint at it by careless words neither, instead I just have to be patient and show consideration, acting considerably too, where inside me as I pointed out previously I'm in love outside my marriage, which believe me doesn't help one bit since the emotion can't be shrugged off any more than it can be acted upon, it nags me though, simply I'm in a mess even before it gets messy, where all this is bound to get messy even in clearing it up, nothing I hate more than having someone hate me...", while outside the relentless heat just made the situation all the more stuffy inside, whereupon the goblin promised to write more if only because xxxxx was such a great help to him, adding "...no, I refuse to go down with the ship whom I married, nor leave the ship neither, instead I'm going to bail water right up to very last, but I have to get into the practice of swimming too xxxxx, for a life alone is hopefully not my fate, no I haven't kissed my wife in at least ten years now, so maybe it was my bad breath after all, though you're right really, I could never leave someone with cancer but that doesn't make me love them neither, no before you said you were content to be partnerless at one point, but me I hope that I won't end up like that, by choice I'd love to be supportive to someone for that's just my nature..."


xxxx 6142 474303

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  #6144  
Old 07-26-2018, 01:39 AM
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repost from elsewhere


next day and the old man goes through the motions of whatever is expected of him still, that is to say while the goblin inside him who is suffering from an unrequited romance tags along in utter denial of everything while trying desperately for any possible existance, relating "...the house is tidy, plus the captain says I'm not needed me for her shopping as it isn't heavy, read mean she wants to be alone then and the sun isn't so spiteful neither, so the bistro claims me once more, no I really should be catching up with world events too, I mean we live on the brink now, a wide choice of brinks as it were, and yet all this doom all so depressingly obvious on the one hand while being so slow on the other that I'd prefer to watch the mainstream news today all about such non newsworthy stuff like "who said what to whom", and "which head of state is paying what state visit to where", and that other one, the all so self important outcome to whatever sports events is happening now...", no the goblin never minded mainstream news, it was authorized news, it was like that music one played in the background to quell the silence yet it wasn't the type of music one actually listened to it in any depth




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  #6145  
Old 07-26-2018, 02:20 AM
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"...me I'm just glad you returned, I've missed you too, miss whoeveryouare then..." smiled the goblin suspecting that xxxx had no age really, then adding "...and yes my feelings are real mixed up at this point, however even so, all I know is that I must live correctly through this lest I end up thinking that I actually caused it too, no I am in love for sure, yet now is not the time for that love is it, no it's time for my duty once more so here part of me dies again...", in fact, the goblin hadn't changed his mind about preparing for widowhood though, merely he wouldn't be unfaithful beforehand, sighing "...emotionally, casual relationship are too cheap for me while real relationships are just too costly, where at times knowing I haven't touched my wife in years I wonder why I should live with someone who is loath at my touch even..." but either way she was ill now and it would be so unfair to bring this matter to a head at this jucture, and even worse if the goblin caved in to his heart too


xxxx 6144 474654

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  #6146  
Old 07-28-2018, 09:22 AM
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WTF am I reading?
"...naah, it's never "what am I reading" really, and ever "what can I write" that keeps me at it still..." smiled the goblin aware that a life without reflection passed all too quickly and was wasted upon the mere experience of it, then adding "...in truth no one nor nothing is ever asking one to reflect upon one's lot, no if anything their trick is to have you think that their values are actually your values too when in truth most folks have not figured out what their values really are, instead their values are those borrowed everyday values like "all homage to that moneygod and raise a family while you're at it", yet surely there is more to life than just this dailylife, something like your own values perhaps..."



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  #6147  
Old 07-28-2018, 09:29 AM
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"...my wife's first injection today..." related the goblin who had been unable to attend because the doctor, as nice as he had been, had only informed them the day before , then continuing "...so it's the heavy treatment then, thus they're giving her the benefit of the doubt inferring that it's actually curable rather than just postponable, yes that's good news in itself but so much depends upon how far these assurances go, where my reservations go unvoiced at least if not exactly unthought of though...", in fact, the goblin stupidly was still in love with someone else too but something far more important was at hand now, meaning that he simply knew that the present stains the future, confiding "...I will not cause this, no I'll do everything in my power to cure her still, for I want no guilt in the matter, nor fingers pointed at me later, but somewhere inside I'm cold back behind my reassuring facade then, maybe later I'll feel as I should do, alas doing the right thing won't make me feel any better but doing the wrong thing will make me feel a lot worse..."


xxxx 6146 475062

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  #6148  
Old 07-28-2018, 09:58 AM
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Are you coming onto me?
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  #6149  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Chinspinner View Post
Are you coming onto me?

"...depends, do you mean by that you are into goblins now..." inquired the goblin hopefully enough before adding "...no I love this anonymity between us, whereas if this had been facebook then you might be judging me by my externals alone, here though you can't see any of my externals, and thus I just suspect that you judging me by what you read of me instead...", where the persona is just a mask of the alter ego behind it, to which the goblin smiled on, asking "...isn't it not what I actually write but how you find yourself answering back to what I write that has you interested if at all...", where books were to be read then yet posts were to be replied to now, and where the goblin hoped that chinspinner would keep him company at times, smiling "...take me with you, anywhere will do, it just has to in your words as it were..."




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  #6150  
Old 07-28-2018, 01:55 PM
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repost from elsewhere

"...how strange this life is when it wants to be..." related the goblin whose two women both had medical problems now, one undergoing curative chemotherapy at home, while the other was going into hospital for various cyst removals and who had taken ten days off work too, so the goblin stood still in front of something that seemed bigger than him now, absolutely motionless in its presence he just confided "...what I write writes me back, where how I live too must be in part how this life ends up to be, odd to think though that this is somehow the consequences of my lifestyle to date that has come to this choice..." at which point the slot just ventured "...no, it's all rather simply goblin, this is your calling because you're here and somehow you've called it upon you now, so tread very carefully goblin as you can't take back your steps afterwards, where on the one side is resentment and where on the other side is guilt, yet choose you must...", whereupon the slot swallowed the post on what seemed a dark ominous day too, the goblin for his part just looked for an answer within himself that wasn't forthcoming for all his calling, no it was exactly as the slot as put it, just resentment or guilt then, the choice between two women


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