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Ode to Bacon

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Old 07-21-2017, 06:25 AM
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Default Ode to Bacon


Oh, wondrous thing from slaughtered swine,
with scrambl'd eggs adorn my plate,
thou delights my tongue with taste divine,
the finest flesh I e'er have ate.

Bless’d glistening strip of greasy stuff,
devour’d from morn’ to evening’s feast,
of thee, I’ll ne’r be served enough;
no meat compares, fish, fowl nor beast.

With t’mato 'twixt some crispy toast,
or bare from skillet whence it came,
of meatly love, I now doth boast,
I feel not guilt or shame!

So long as I may rise to eat and ‘neath pan set the blaze,
dear bacon, I’ll devour thee and ever sing thine praise.


Last edited by Myers; 07-21-2017 at 06:40 AM..
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Old 07-21-2017, 07:24 AM
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Here's my reading...

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B4...Ut6eEJTRUo5ZXc

Last edited by Myers; 07-21-2017 at 07:57 AM..
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Old 07-21-2017, 08:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post

Setting the Coffee House world on fire!
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Old 07-21-2017, 09:07 AM
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Coffee houses?

That's positively slumming, old boy.

No berets or bongos for me!
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Old 07-21-2017, 05:16 PM
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of meatly love, I now doth boast,
I feel not guilt or shame!

Ha ha!

You're a fag!
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Old 07-21-2017, 05:39 PM
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https://youtu.be/04854XqcfCY
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Old 07-22-2017, 03:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post

I hope you perform this for your family at every breakfast - far more culture than a yoghurt.

Love the recital - very Sir Gielgud x
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Old 07-22-2017, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
of meatly love, I now doth boast,
I feel not guilt or shame!

Ha ha!

You're a fag!
Ha ha.

Only in your dreams.
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Old 07-22-2017, 04:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
I hope you perform this for your family at every breakfast - far more culture than a yoghurt.

Love the recital - very Sir Gielgud x


One of my running gags -- when my kids are begging for something and sounding put upon, I convert their pleas into over-acted, faux-Shakespearean language dripping with pathos...
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Old 07-22-2017, 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post
Coffee houses?

That's positively slumming, old boy.

No berets or bongos for me!
But since you're hamming it up.....
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Old 07-22-2017, 02:57 PM
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Can we make this the official 'Ode to Food' thread?

I'm in a committed relationship with cheese right now...it could be a very moving love poem..
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Old 07-22-2017, 03:20 PM
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Go for it! The wonders of cheese are undeniable.

I just bought something else I absolutely love -- some big fat scallops.

Not hearing any poetry at the moment...

P.S. Oh man, scallops wrapped in bacon -- have you had those?

That's the food of the gods.

Last edited by Myers; 07-22-2017 at 03:25 PM..
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Old 07-22-2017, 03:27 PM
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Oh sumptuous scallop
so naked and fresh
you make my heart gallop
at the sight of your flesh

God.

Now I feel like I'm being unfaithful to the cheese.
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Old 07-22-2017, 03:30 PM
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Oh -- that's perfect!

That will be rolling through my mind as I commence to cook...
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Old 07-22-2017, 09:41 PM
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You could make a hymn out of this, Myers.

Imagine it being performed by a full choir.
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Old 07-23-2017, 05:52 AM
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Ahahah love it!
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Old 07-24-2017, 03:45 PM
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I've never eaten a dead animal in my life so have no idea what bacon tastes like, all I know is that when I smell it cooking, it smells like death and makes me wanna throw up.


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Old 07-24-2017, 03:57 PM
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This is a parody.

I only eat soy based simulated bacon strips.
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Old 07-24-2017, 04:04 PM
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Never have understood veggies that eat pretend meat. There's plenty to do with just veg and fruit.


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Old 07-24-2017, 04:05 PM
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I'm kidding. I eat bacon all the time. It's fantastic.

Oh, I forgot to mention -- I only eat free range bacon.
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Old 07-24-2017, 04:07 PM
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Savage


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Old 07-24-2017, 05:41 PM
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Originally Posted by Myers View Post

Oh, I forgot to mention -- I only eat free range bacon.


Fed only with non-GMO sourced slop, right?
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Old 07-24-2017, 06:47 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
You could make a hymn out of this, Myers.

Imagine it being performed by a full choir.
Ham-dels Hallelujah Chorus!!
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Old 07-25-2017, 05:26 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Fed only with non-GMO sourced slop, right?
Of course!

Yeah -- we actually do spend a lot of extra money to buy "free range" chicken and grass fed beef.

My wife imagines the chickens and cows frolicking around in a field somewhere...
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Old 07-25-2017, 08:05 PM
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Originally Posted by iDrew View Post
Never have understood veggies that eat pretend meat. There's plenty to do with just veg and fruit.


xDrew


How about eggs and milk? No?
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Old 07-26-2017, 03:06 AM
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Yeah that OK, couldn't live without cheese - ain't no vegan. Them be weirdoes.


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Old 07-26-2017, 04:35 AM
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Well at least now we know it doesn't have anything to do with ethics.

That's a relief.
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Old 07-31-2017, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by iDrew View Post
I've never eaten a dead animal in my life so have no idea what bacon tastes like, all I know is that when I smell it cooking, it smells like death and makes me wanna throw up.


iDrew
Originally Posted by Myers View Post
Well at least now we know it doesn't have anything to do with ethics.

That's a relief.
...or niceties. Imagine the cruelty of ripping a live animal apart and eating it.

I'll stick with dead animals.

And that dead animal smell? That's probably all the bullshit that's in commercially raised and processed meat. I grew up on meat we raised and butchered ourselves. Believe me, it tastes nothing the same.
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Old 07-31-2017, 11:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
...or niceties. Imagine the cruelty of ripping a live animal apart and eating it.

I'll stick with dead animals.

And that dead animal smell? That's probably all the bullshit that's in commercially raised and processed meat. I grew up on meat we raised and butchered ourselves. Believe me, it tastes nothing the same.

I've read several compelling articles on the benefits of eating roadkill.

The last pedestrian I scraped off my bumper was a bit chewy for my taste.
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Old 08-01-2017, 12:09 PM
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Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
I grew up on meat we raised and butchered ourselves. Believe me, it tastes nothing the same.
There's a place about an hour from where we live -- they sell fresh beef right at the farm where it's raised and from a few surrounding farms.

It's awesome -- and I guess since you're buying it right there, it's not all that expensive. I bought a brisket and few steaks there -- best I've ever tasted.
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