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Old 07-24-2017, 03:05 PM
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iShoes

shoes apart from vodka
the best a girl can do
to beat away the blues
so when i’m feeling down
miserably
missing in-action you’ll always
find me at lakeside or
westfield having a browse
trying on those little darlings
parading up and down
and they say to me
take us home take us home
and so they kiss my feet hug me
some hold on a little too tightly
very needy

i’ve just bought a pair
hey don’t judge me
a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s
gotta do it’s what
my plastic is for and almost
instantly i’m starting to feel the
antidote working
thoughts have turned to making
that grumpy geezer green jealous
now to hit top shop
for that killer party dress



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Old 07-24-2017, 06:30 PM
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a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do feels cliche. Not that you're going for profound here, but still.

Maybe just: a girls gotta do (leave the rest to imagination).
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Old 07-24-2017, 06:33 PM
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Also, the rounding effect of the last line feels unnecessary. I think I would get just top shop. Or maybe, 'the' top shop. Not sure if that's an actual store, Top Shop.
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Old 08-01-2017, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do feels cliche. Not that you're going for profound here, but still.

Maybe just: a girls gotta do (leave the rest to imagination).
You're right, I think, however I'm not sure your suggestion would solve it I think it may need a different approach, on the other hand I do write these poems in a silly conversational tone which can at times absorb a cliché. Conundrum!

https://www.topshop.com/?geoip=home


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Old 08-02-2017, 02:02 AM
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It's jackets, not shoes, that do it for me.
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Old 08-04-2017, 08:50 PM
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I guess I could write iTools...
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Old 08-09-2017, 02:35 PM
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My fav jacket is one of me brothers old biker leather that got too small for him.

What's yer fav tool? Mines those little battery screwdriver. Like the little weeeeeee sound they make.



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Old 08-09-2017, 05:09 PM
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My favorite tool is my old Rothenberger pipe threader. Sadly plumbers don't thread much steel pipe anymore. Everybody's gone to plastic and corrugated stainless pipe with quick easy connections. But threading pipe is fun and the oil makes your hands soft.
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