[HORROR] Battery Acid (Sandras Story)
...Sometimes I feel like my head is filled with battery acid. Every day more of my mind is eaten away and I can feel it drip and dissolve. Itís been like this for a long time, I canít remember anything else. Itís been eaten away by the acid and slowly dripped away. All of my memories washed carelessly down the drain, maybe when I was taking a shower. I think they know, theyíre always looking at me. I think they can see inside my head how itís all eaten away, how its rotten...they can see my memories oozing down my back.
Thatís why they stare.
They all probably think Iím crazy but Iím not. Iím ok. Iím serious now, Iím ok. Oh but I hate it when they stare, itís like Iím in a nightmare and I cant wake up. If only I could pinch myself, the pain would wake me maybe. Pain, thatís it, thatís what I need. I need to get away though, away from them so they canít stare. In my room thereís a place where I hide, where I stay. Its dark, completely dark, no one can see me.
I talk sometimes out loud, to reassure myself. I tell myself Iím ok, because its true you know, im really ok. Everything is going to be ok. You canít tell me different, donít even try. I turn on a light and stare for a little while. Itís not bad, but itís not good, itís ok. Sometimes I take my notebook out of my backpack and I stare at the pages. I can read the words but nothing makes sense, none of it means anything. What are these words? Where have I been? Why donít I know anything? Was I even there, was I in class, was I dreaming? I can feel my mind dissolving, battery acid. Where are my memories? Why canít I remember anything? I knock the lamp off the desk and everything is dark again. Im ok. Seriously now Iím ok, donít worry about me.
Sometimes I make pictures on the wall beside my bed in the dark. I draw them with my finger so only I can see. I think I drew my dreams there once but all the lines keep overlapping and now I donít see shapes any more, all I see is a big dark mess. I should get up because Iím very hungry, but theyíre out there. If I leave they will see me. I take the risk anyways, because my stomach is starting to eat itself I think.
Sheís there, I can hear her.
I canít go out there, she will see me, she will know.
My father comes down the hallway and I smile at him. Everything is ok as long as I smile right? I am ok, itís true. I watch from the hallway and I wait and eventually after only half an hour she leaves. Yes, I can go now and get food. Iím so hungry. Know whatís funny? I donít know what to eat now. I stand in the kitchen and just stare at things. Maybe I donít want to eat, I donít know. Open the refrigerator and close it. Open all the cupboards and close them too. Maybe I wonít eat. I donít know its ok. Ill just go back up to my room.
Its dark in my room, I love the dark, no one can see me in here. My notebook is on the floor, but it doesnít matter. I donít remember what I need to do anyways. It doesnít make me sad, itís ok. School is ok. I donít know what Iím going to do, but I guess thatís ok.
I think I slept, I canít be sure. My head hurts again. I canít remember what I did yesterday; maybe I did nothing at all. I take my notebook and go to school; I have to walk really far to get there. A lot of people see me out their car windows as they drive by. I donít like them looking at me. I hate it, they always stare. Theyíre staring at my head of course. They can see all the parts that are rotten and dissolved away. I donít want them to see. I wish they would stop. I donít want to be here. I can almost smell the burning, and my head hurts so much. Where am I? Whatís that smell? Can they smell it too, is that why theyre all staring at me? I whisper to myself, I tell myself Iím ok. I am ok.
Tap tap tap, whatís the teacher saying? I know sheís talking, but about what I wonder. I canít figure it out, I donít understand. Why canít I remember what these words mean? I used to know them all, Iím sure of it. I used to be smart like that guy next to me. He knows everything. Where did everything go? Why donít I know any more? Why canít I be like him? I want to be, I want to go back. I want my memories but I canít remember what any of them were. I canít even remember what I used to be now. Itís dissolving, dripping away. People are looking at me again; I think they can smell the acid burning holes in my mind. I want them to stop staring. Theyíre stupid; they donít know what its like. They pity me donít they; they think I need their stupid pity. I donít need any of it. I needÖwhat I needÖI donít know. I canít remember what I need. Do I even want anything?
Theyíre all still staring, why donít they stop? Why the FUCK are they still staring at me??
I drum my fingers on the desk and whisper to myself. I ask them to stop it but they wonít listen. They wonít stop staring. The teacher, sheís staring at me too. Nine seconds till the bell rings, and Iím gone. At school thereís a place where I hide, where I stay. I can be alone here for a little while, and itís dark so they canít see. I whisper to myself, I tell myself Iím ok, because I am. Iím not crazy or anything Iím ok, and everything is going to be ok.
Theres the bell again, I hate that bell.
Now I have to go back to class, back where they can all see. I think its time for Math, but I donít knowÖI canít remember. Iíve lost track. What day is it again I wonder. Maybe it doesnít matter what day it is though. No, it isnít Math now, its History. History is ok I think, I donít know. I donít really know anything about it. Maybe today I will remember something. I hope I will, I want to. Maybe then things would be different. Maybe if I was different they would stop watching me.
The American Revolution, I remember that. Maybe I can answer this question. I think ill tryÖyes I will. I raise my hand but then I canít remember. What was I going to say? What the hell was I going to say? I knew it, I know I did. Heís looking at me now, the teacher called on me. Itís too late, and now I canít remember. I can feel the place in my mind where the answer used to be. I can smell the sickeningly sweet scent of it burning. I can hear it dripping. DripÖdripÖdripÖ.
Theyíre all staring at me, every one of them.
Oh god they can hear it too, they can hear the drip, and they can smell it.
They can all see, they know. Thatís why theyíre laughing. Those stupid girls are giggling, the guys are smirking.
Its just keeps dripping louder, the teacher is saying something to me but I donít know what. Is he asking me a question?? Is he asking me what that smell is now? All I can hear is the dripping. Itís so loud, it hurts my ears. They stopped laughing theyíre all just staring now. Staring right at me. They like it donít they, they like watching it all drip away. They all think Iím crazy. Even the teacher shut up, heís just staring at me too. DripÖDrip Drip DripÖI canít take it any more.
ĒSHUT UP, STOP STARING AT MEĒ
ďSTOP IT STOP IT STOP ITĒ
I hate the lights. I want to go back to my room where itís dark and no one can see but they wonít let me. I canít move in this jacket they put on me. Everything is so white here, and thereís so much light. They wonít turn off the lights for me. I canít move at all, and I canít hide. Sometimes they come in here and they stare at me. They pity me, I hate it. I hate them. I can taste the acid starting to drip into my mouth, it burns my tongue...
And all I can hear is the dripping............