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Should I Drop This

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Old 08-30-2011, 11:42 AM
J.P.Clyde's Avatar
J.P.Clyde (Offline)
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Default Should I Drop This

When I originally had a dream about this story, there was something very clear about the world at hand. It follows my main protagonist who is a 27 year old genius [I don't know what kind I just wrote a snippet of this and have decided to follow the story fully now].

All though living in the modern world, marketing and advertising seems to catch the eye of different races.

My main character is walking through the shopping market and it becomes clear to me, that some stores only have white or Mexican woman in their advertisements. In one scene his sister says she wants to get her hair done. And they pass a few shops selling racey clothes to erm....African American woman.

Then she doesn't want to go into one haircut salon because it's for African American woman. And you look through the door and you see nothing, but African American people. And they make a turn into an ugly grimy ghetto alley, and there are other hair salons dedicated to blond white woman.

It was weird.

But even so, it's in a modern world where people segregate racist.

Should I change this? Could this be too controversial of an idea?


The next bit is just as weird. We're going to talk mental hospitals. Well the one I keep envisioning for him is not your typical mental hospital.

These doctor/scientist believe Wheat grass and more green vegetable diet will help their mental patients. They don't believe in prescribed medication, but more alternative medicines and think they can change people's behavior based on diet.

There are forms of humiliation also done when they talk one on one counselor with their patients.

What's weirder is their rooms are small "cages". More like if you've ever been to an animal hospital, and they put those cats in those plastic see through doors. Kind of the same thing here.

Each room is made with a plastic see through door, big enough for one average size human to live in them. The point of the see through door is no secrets allowed and of course again humiliation to correct behavior.

Should I also drop this from the main novel? It seems weird. And yet I find it interesting at the same time.

What modern world is this? [More of a joke] Thank you for those who have decided to take the time to look through this.

Hooray, hurrah it's Clyde and he'll smite you down. With clever wordplay.

Be warned....my greatest weapon is *takes out of holster* the ignore button.
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Old 09-01-2011, 02:39 AM
Lillijen (Offline)
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I like both ideas. Obviously you have to have a character who effects the situation in some way, but as a premise, i would read either story
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Old 09-05-2011, 04:27 PM
wazzaroon (Offline)
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Maybe you can put a spin on them so that not only do they empathize on the current situation, but you can put a dark witty satire or sarcasm on it, much like parts of Chris Morris's four lions.
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Old 09-11-2011, 09:42 AM
Zolnier (Offline)
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I like it, try not to be insensitive though.
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