When Oliver Onion came out of the ground he was a fine fat onion. The first thing the farmer had said about him was: 'My! That's a fine fat one!' Oliver Onion was pleased but did not get conceited for while underground the worms had told dreadful tales about what happened to conceited people (or onions).
But alas for Oliver Onion,he was never eaten. The farmer put him in a paper bag, because he said it was too soon to eat him. But somehow Oliver Onion was forgotten about. More onions were piled on top of him and by the time the farmer reached him he had gone bad. All the other onions had squashed him. The farmer then threw Oliver Onion out.
For days Oliver Onion lay in a damp field, cold and abandoned, but not a word of complaint escaped his mouth. And his silence was eventually rewarded.
For one day a little boy found him and used him as a football. Poor Oliver Onion was terribly bruised and parts of him flew off ....
thanks Konan! I just thought I would put something a bit different up here (apart from anything else I'm stuck in a creative black hole as far as more serious adult stuff is concerned). I'm pleased that it got a response! Now I just have to figure out how Oliver Onion gets his happy ending, lol.