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The Iron Villiage 1120 Words feedback thank you

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Old 05-22-2016, 02:35 AM
Yonathan1 (Offline)
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Default The Iron Villiage 1120 Words feedback thank you

Would like some feedback on this work I am working on. If your wondering For Mitch is finished as this is my current project

The Iron Village

Falling was a star, falling falling falling… it came shooting below the verdant grass and pillowing the peace of the hills and forever shooting its fire to be in the grace of hope of its serenity. The star is a kind of entity that gives the atmosphere of space. Shifting and spinning in a motion that tells about the star and what it is worth. As all else is ignored when the light gives its lunacy.

In actual sense this was the life of a warrior who upon the star he saw. Was reborn; meaning it was the star of him and he was the star. He had not known that he was named after one. The white star of Seraphim. That was his name.

Seraphim was just below the sky, nestling down the grass and seeing the void less aura of sky about the night that presented itself. Himself as a star without recall was remarkable. A warrior of white hair and a coat-of-arms to seek was his focus to suspend without an adieu.

Tall and with a tail that grew out of his armour when training was one of the past times he remembered when as a child while training, of course the past was past and began to have a wedding that was heralding in his mind. he so wished to marry a princess that had his coat-of-arms.

And it was apparent that he wished to get it done right away. Making peace with the land he came from was his highest heir of priority, Seraphim gazed among the stars and the night sky above himself. When he heard a ruckus in his village of Ulmayis-Meer, the village that he lived in, of his habitance he heard footsteps in the distance from the outskirts of his home. The domain came to show of wizards darting through the vicinity and out to the realm of hills and grass.

It was the Seraphim went along back to village to confront these wizards. His pet lizard snugged himself back in his armour crevices, as Seraphim went in over to the wizards asking a questions to explain their business in Ulmayis-Meer.

“Who do you think you are arriving in my village?”

The wizards began to cast their magic at Seraphim, he didn’t wince or even move a muscle as they casted their spells at him. He picked up his scroll from the crevices of his armour and said the words that were written from his manuscript.

“I banish you, O wizard, gone to the nether.”

“NOOOO!!! You ahhh— “

The wizards were then within a sphere that began swirling beneath their feet and created a bubble leaving them disappearing in the mist. Leaving them a speck that sparkled sending them out to oblivion.

They were gone and never to be seen again, Seraphim noticed other wizards trying to destroy his village looking up he saw it was on fire. And made his way to the other districts of his village. Using his scroll, he gave the banishments of the wizards bringing havoc to his home. Seraphim satisfied he goes home and speaks to the people about his den that was destroyed outside of the town.


“I am reborn, the white star of Seraphim is I,”

Flying through the clouds was a white star floating through the sky once again. Seraphim came over to the clouds surpassing him through the scape and at a speed that came rushing over him like a winged bird he flew with tremendous rush carrying him over the sky and blinding the sky with his white light, this was another night and power rose from his star-white visage and symmetric poise head over the clouds with a movement of remission’s.
His life a meaningless existence? A human perhaps is more suited for him he thought.

Reaching from town to town was the highlight of the hour, his coat of arms, for his colour of hair. The white Seraphim kind. He came to see a town below him and starts to descend with full opus to the land and the place of Bible themed shapes; books, crosses. God. And made his way to ‘Bible Cross’ the land of Holy Grail. Seraphim came vertically cometing through the land into the direction afoot.

“Where am I?” he said

He came walking towards the town of ‘Bible Cross’ he came to have seen Jesus looking people in his wake, walking around the streets of holiness. The house shaped like bibles and other miscellaneous things as he came about the area. Seraphim becomes enamored with the town and continues to find his coat-of-arms in the manner. He decides he is tired and comes to an inn to spend the night there.

As the day was coming to a close catching some beauty sleep was best for the white warrior. The inn of wood and crosses hanging above the ceiling were the things that stood inside as he came in.
Seraphim gave some gold to the innkeeper and upstairs he went to a quarter to get shut-eye for himself.

Waltzing to the sections of the inn there was suddenly some princess or whatever it was scared to death about something. Seraphim came over to wonder who this person was and what was wrong with her.

“Hello, I can tell you are a princess, what’s wrong?”

She was scared stiff, and she asked Seraphim to lock the door for reasons Seraphim did not know about. Seraphim raise his hand to shake hands with the princess. He noticed a halo above her head and assumed a little peculiar about her, she had a gown blue-with-white stripes on her garments. Yet what what she? Some sort of deity? A demigod? A angel? What exactly was she?

“By the way, my name is Seraphim Ironstar? And you?”

“I-I- “


She could not speak but her celeste form was a sight to look at, maybe should trying asking other questions he thought so he spoke with clear vernacular. That should do it.

“Why are you here?” he said

“I am a princess, I can change forms and my power can be of Satan or Celeste, tell me are you a star?”

“What do you mean by that question?” he replied

“Your name, it has some familiarity with this town.”

“I have no familiarity with any realm, I have no idea what you are speaking of.”

Seraphim raised his hand to his chin and decided to sit on her bed. His hand to his elbow he asked her something but it had nothing to do with her question. Off topic conversation was his aim to protrude any other nonsensical questions that one would say.

Last edited by Yonathan1; 05-22-2016 at 02:45 AM..
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