I've read your work and like it some
I tried it once and had some fun
how brave you are to try again
I'll say again enjoyed the try
one more line which is out of place
think you meant begin not begone.
I know this sucks but it was fun
and keep up the good work, seven, eight
oh and feel free to use this to tell, or is it show, others what not to do.
have a good day Lon.
sorry edit - I went down to feed the chicken after I posted this and remembered this is a ten count not eight. maybe i'll try again later
if you're writing over your readers head - tum etiam, ut graece scribens --- the secret of success changes;the truth of failure remains constant; if you try to please everyone you will fail.
Last edited by max crash; 04-18-2015 at 01:16 PM..