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Contest Results l Fiction l Mixing Characters (Oct 2007)

 
 
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  #1  
Old 10-31-2007, 06:11 AM
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Default Contest Results l Fiction l Mixing Characters (Oct 2007)


I do believe this was the most challenging contest yet, and several members stepped up and impressed us with some entertaining and creative mixing. Congratulations to Gary Wagner for a particularly clever and creative way for three unlikely friends to share one goal. Well done.

gary_wagner 18.5
Dana_Johnson 17.36
wildbluefaerie 17.25
jazen 13.75
_zeb_ 10.75
water 10.75


Originally Posted by Icarus View Post
Member: Dana_Johnson
Title: Elvish Parsley

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 8/10

Wonderfully silly. Great use of song titles and lyrics as well as the tie in to the future of the ring. Thanks for making me laugh.

Score: 17/20

*****

Member: wildbluefaerie
Title: Gandalf’s True Love

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 7.5/10

Nicely done. I especially like your opening paragraph. It’s interesting that both you and Dana made Gandalf and Elizabeth the happy couple.

Score: 17/20

*****

Member: gary_wagner
Title: Microprocessia

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10

Very creative, Gary, and well done. I admit, I didn’t get every single reference to computer innards, but that wasn’t necessary. I especially loved the e-book part and the way Gandalf spoke about the iPod.

Score: 18.5/20

*****

Member: _zeb_
Title: Bookworm

Mechanics: 1/5
Intangibles: 2/5
Overall Impression: 5/10

Zeb, it is clear that this was written in a hurry and that’s why so many points have been taken off. It’s unclean, hard to follow, and riddled with errors that could have easily been corrected. However, as to content, I like the premise (and the idea of Eliza Bennett drinking whiskey is highly amusing!), though having it be a dream seems a bit of a cop out.

Score: 8/20

*****

Member: jazen
Title: none

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall Impression: 6/10

Again, run-on sentences. An interesting way to put the three characters literally in the same room together, though I think you could have included more action. I do like how you worked in the song with Elvis.

Score: 12.5/20

*****

Member: water
Title: none

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 1/5
Overall Impression: 4/10

First, I’m completely lost. Maybe you were being creative, but I had no sense of what this was supposed to be, except for rather disturbing. Other issues include missing punctuation and suspended dialog.

Score: 8/20
Originally Posted by BreezyWriter View Post
Member: Dana_Johnson
Title: Elvish Parsley
Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 7/10
Comments: Rather comical way of putting it into writing.
Score: 17/20
-------------------------------------------------------
Member: wildblue faerie
Title: Gandalf's True Love
Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 7/10
Comments: The characters are in place, wondefully writing. Nice and witty.
Score: 17/20
-------------------------------------------------------
Member: gary_wagner
Title: Microprocessia
Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10
Comments: Even in this fiction the reality of life shone through giving such vivid reality to a woderful fiction. Nice going.
Score: 19/20
-------------------------------------------------------
Member: _Zeb_
Title: Bookworm
Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 7/10
Comments: Missing, misplaced, fragmented words made it somewhat difficult to understand. Though I got the gist of it and the players are all in place. I am left wondering did bookworm get his answer.
Score: 14/20
-------------------------------------------------------
Member: Jazen
Title: untitled

Mechanics: 3/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10
Comments: Interesting, though I feel like I am missing a piece of the story. Minor errors possibly contributed to the impression of missing a piece of the story.
Score: 15/20
-------------------------------------------------------
Member: water
Title: Untitled
Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 8/10
Comments: Very imaginative, wicked. Some of the prasing left me somewhat perplexed. Mostly was Elvis an animal also. The words “I’d do her” are misleading. Because it has two meanings. One means; to kill and the other is to make love to.
Score: 16/20
Originally Posted by Mridula View Post
Member: Dana_Johnson
Title
: Elvish Parsley

Mechanics
: 4/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10
Comments: Very cleverly tied up story here! It had me grinning right to the end. Good job! A few spelling mistakes here and there, but other than that, I have no particular complaints. I loved the way you brought in references to both Lord of the Rings and Elvis’ music.

Score
: 18/20
--------------------
Member: wildbluefaerie
Title
: Gandalf’s True Love

Mechanics
: 5/5
Intangibles: 4/5
Overall Impression: 7/10
Comments: This was an interesting story here and definitely well written. Using the first line of Pride and Prejudice was a good move. The only complaint I have is that the ending was rather rushed and could have used some more exposition. Otherwise, a good story!

Score
: 16/20
--------------------
Member: gary_wagner
Title
: Microprocessia

Mechanics
: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10
Comments: As always, brilliantly written. This was a wonderfully original take on the prompt. I loved all the references you made.

Score
: 19/20
--------------------
Member: _zeb_
Title
: Bookworm

Mechanics
: 2/5
Intangibles: 2/5
Overall Impression: 5/10
Comments: Distracted and shoddy were just two of the words that came to mind when I read this. Barely any editing and not much effort put into this made it extremely hard to read. The story itself would have been far more interesting had it not been for your presentation style.

Score
: 9/20
--------------------
Member: jazen
Title
: Untitled

Mechanics
: 3/5
Intangibles: 3/5
Overall Impression: 7/10
Comments: This was a very good idea, though a bit more characterization would have helped. Though it was well-thought out, it definitely could have used some more work with regards to content. Some of the details in there were rather good.

Score
: 13/20
--------------------
Member: water
Title
: Untitled

Mechanics
: 3/5
Intangibles: 2/5
Overall Impression: 4/10
Comments: It wasn’t clear at all what you were aiming at. Perhaps some more lucid references would help make what you were aiming at more obvious.

Score
: 9/20
--------------------
Originally Posted by aprilrain View Post
Member: Dana_Johnson
Title: Elvish Parsley

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 8.5/10
Comments: A very entertaining story. I especially enjoyed the dialogue and the way that Elvis could only speak in lyrics, which baffled Gandalf. Great "prequel" to the LOTR story.

Score: 17.5/20
--------------------
Member: wildbluefaerie
Title: Gandalf’s True Love

Mechanics: 5/5
Intangibles: 5/5
Overall Impression: 9/10
Comments: A very strong story in every way. The language, description, and action all flowed well. It was funny and entertaining, and I loved the interaction of the characters. Well done.

Score: 19/20
--------------------
Member: gary_wagner
Title: Microprocessia

Mechanics: 4.5/5
Intangibles: 4.5/5
Overall Impression: 8.5/10
Comments: A very creative and different way in which to put such oddly-matched characters together. Perhaps a little on the long side, but I enjoyed the mixture of modern technology with characters from different times. Great writing, as usual.

Score: 17.5/20
--------------------
Member: _zeb_
Title: Bookworm

Mechanics: 2.5/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall Impression: 6/10
Comments: You have an interesting idea here, and I like the thought of characters trying to rebel against the reader, but the execution is less than stellar. Before entering this or any contest, you should always do a thorough proofread.

Score: 12/20
--------------------
Member: jazen
Title: Untitled

Mechanics: 3.5/5
Intangibles: 3.5/5
Overall Impression: 7.5/10
Comments: I thought this was a pleasant story and a good way to put all the characters together. I just would have liked to have seen you do more with it or convey more action, emotion, or interaction with the characters once you got them together.

Score: 14.5/20
--------------------
Member: water
Title: Untitled

Mechanics: 4/5
Intangibles: 2/5
Overall Impression: 4/10
Comments: Well, aside from including all three characters, this piece has me at a loss. It seems that you took an excerpt from a S&M story and replaced the names with the ones for this contest.

Score: 10/20

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  #2  
Old 10-31-2007, 08:49 AM
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Congrats, Gary! I'll admit I was a bit overwhelmed by all that computer jargon, but as Icarus has said, it wasn't necessary to get it all.

Well done to the others for some really great stories! I certainly enjoyed reading them!

QW
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Old 10-31-2007, 09:06 AM
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Originally Posted by QoW
but as Icarus has said, it wasn't necessary to get it all.
Proof that someone actually reads the comments. Thank you, Queen.
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Old 10-31-2007, 09:09 AM
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Your welcome, Icarus! I always read the comments for all the entries, even when I'm not in the competition. All pointers isn't it? Little bits of useful advice to store away for future use in my own writing.
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Old 11-01-2007, 04:57 AM
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Thanks, judges. This was one of the most fun things I've written in a while - great challenge. And, Icarus - I always read all of the comments. I appreciate the time the judges put into this.
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Old 11-01-2007, 05:55 AM
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Congratulations, Gary. A well deserved win. I highly enjoyed it, and would recommend it to a friend for a quick amusing read.

And thank you for the kind comments, judges. I'm glad you liked my work as well, it sure was a lot of fun to write!

Good luck to all who enter this month.
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Old 11-01-2007, 06:23 AM
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Thanks, gary and Dana, for acknowledging that you read what the judges say. Knowing that makes it worth it.
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Old 11-02-2007, 02:19 AM
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The comments are always interesting.
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Old 11-03-2007, 10:01 AM
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Congratulations Gary, well done.

Thank you judges, I appreciate the comments and like the fact that there are a variety of views among the judges. I logged in with about a half hour to read the contest and write my piece. It took a totally different direction than I had started with and I went w/it. Might have to try the next one
 

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