WritersBeat.com
 

Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.


Dexter would be kinder

Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 05-17-2012, 03:06 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default Dexter would be kinder


The terrorists have taken my sense
of humour

I need to catch one in the act
arrest his action
and
bind his arms behind him, bind his knees together, stuff a sock in his mouth and tape it
then
run faucet water
gently
over his face
as I
carefully
spoon out his eyes
and
let them hang on the ocular cords
keep the rig damp
as he gets a chance
to look at the world from
new angles
then eat a sandwich
and then
ease them back in
do it again
and again
and again
for a few hours
for a few days
then
give him liquid to drink
liquid with LSD
then
drop him into a house of
New Orleans
Drag Queens
for 48 hours
then
load him up with GHB
load him into a van
load him out at the scene
back his bum into the Leather Bar's
glory hole
on
all you can bugger night
then
sedate the silly little miscreant
tie him face up on a table
ankles and wrists x-ed away
in a cabin far away
from anyones ears
x-acto a silver dollar circle
dead center on the chest
then
slice shallow lines (one inch apart) radiating out
down
to his sides, up to his chin and stopping at his junk
then
gently
lift two in parallel
from the center
and let the skin shoelace
hang
to the floor

do 'em all

all around the circle

and

listen to him tell me

how insensitive
and
unreasonable
I
am



The terrorists took my sense of humour
and

I'm feelin'
a bit
peeved

Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nick Pierce For This Useful Post:
Grace Gabriel (05-17-2012), kev (11-15-2015)
  #2  
Old 05-17-2012, 06:06 PM
Grace Gabriel's Avatar
Grace Gabriel (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,566
Thanks: 2,114
Thanks 1,129
Default

Sat here, 3am UK time, nursing a violently disturbed stomach.

This didn't help none....but top marks for graphic description.

I was moved.
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-17-2012, 06:15 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
Sat here, 3am UK time, nursing a violently disturbed stomach.

This didn't help none....but top marks for graphic description.

I was moved.
I have gotten ( yeah, like I think that is a proper word ) a lot of 'your writin' don't paint no picture, Pierce' comments.

Maybe this piece will put that puppy down.


Oh, and warm milk with honey sometimes helps ( I'm not a doctor but I can act like one on the internet ).
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-17-2012, 11:36 PM
Loz's Avatar
Loz (Offline)
Captain Unicorn Biscuits
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 3,065
Thanks: 2,218
Thanks 999
Default

You can add a plus one to that, you definately whipped out your paintbrush on this one. Why can I taste gasoline in my mouth?

Edit: Plus one for the poem, not the stomach - just to be clear
__________________
[FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=SeaGreen][FONT=Lucida Sans Unicode][COLOR=Purple]
To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
[/COLOR][/FONT]
[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 05-18-2012, 02:37 AM
Nadja
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I don't get the Dexter reference.
As to terrorists,it's a pity that some actions of certain Western governments abroad are also not classed as terrorism.
Okay, I'll get off my soapbox now.

Last edited by Nadja; 05-18-2012 at 02:53 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-18-2012, 04:50 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Nadja View Post
I don't get the Dexter reference.
It's good to posit queries. No matter how they be couched.

And I quote-

" Orphaned at the age of three due to the murder of his mother, Dexter Morgan is adopted by Miami police officer Harry Morgan and his wife Doris. After discovering that young Dexter has been killing a multitude of neighborhood pets for several years, Harry tells Dexter that the need to kill "got into" him at too early an age, and that he believes Dexter's need to kill will only grow. To keep Dexter from killing innocent people, Harry begins teaching Dexter "The Code". In this code, Dexter's victims must be killers themselves who have killed someone without justifiable cause and will likely do so again. Dexter must always be sure his target is guilty, and thus, frequently goes to extreme lengths to get undeniable proof of his victim's guilt. Most important, Dexter must never get caught. Flashbacks throughout the series show Harry, who died several years before, instructing Dexter on how to fake human behaviour, how to cover his tracks after a kill, and even how to stranglehold a target to knock them out and capture them.

Dexter has followed The Code religiously to satisfy his "Dark Passenger" (the name he has assigned to his urge to kill). Like many serial killers he keeps trophies; before dispatching a wrongdoer, Dexter makes an incision on their cheek with a scalpel and collects a blood sample, which he preserves on a blood slide. He stores his collection in a box concealed inside his air conditioner.

In the beginning of the series, Dexter believes that he has no emotions, and he has to work non-stop to appear normal and blend in with the other people around him. Initially, Dexter is (with varying success) able to fake 'normal' emotions and maintain his apearance as an unremarkable friend and neighbor. He does maintain a few personal relationships early on, stating that he is "fond" of his adoptive sister Debra. She is unaware of Harry's training but harbors lingering jelousy of the percieved preferential treatment Harry gave Dexter. As part of his "disguise" in season one, Dexter dates a woman named Rita who is too traumatized from years of abuse at the hands of her ex-husband, Paul Bennett, to be intimate with Dexter. This suits Dexter, who believes getting intimate will reveal his darker side to Rita. He is fond of (and good with) children in general, particularly Rita's two children, Astor and Cody. However, his attatchment to Debra, Rita, Astor and Cody, and later his biological son, Harrison, have all complicated his double life and made him question his "need" to kill."

End quote


Hey, Pierce- appearance is missing a p.

No problem, man-ain't anyone gonna get this far.


You're joking, right?


Hmmm, y'all ain't read my recent lost laughter lament, have you?


Hey, didya ever think that maybe she knows who Dex is but doesn't get why you referenced him in the title?

No. Not until now you mention it.

So all that two finger typing may have been for nothing, huh?

Yeah- you might be correct.

Wow- that's funny.

Watch it, pal- the line between aggravatin' and terrorizin' is a sguiggly critter that ain't always distinct.

Hey- is that a threat?

Sometimes the diff between a threat statement and an advice one is how it is regarded by the recipient.

Think you spelled recipient right?

Who cares. The only entities this deep are you, me and the voices in my head.

Voices? You hear voices in your head?

Yeah. So?

What are they saying?

Beats me pal. I only understand English.

Last edited by Nick Pierce; 05-18-2012 at 12:48 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nick Pierce For This Useful Post:
Grace Gabriel (05-18-2012)
  #7  
Old 05-18-2012, 01:07 PM
Grace Gabriel's Avatar
Grace Gabriel (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,566
Thanks: 2,114
Thanks 1,129
Default

Admit to being fascinated by Dexter - same with Hannibal Lecter. I kinda marvel at how good he is at what he does , and you can almost exuse it because he's not murdering the innocent or undeserving. Love Hannibal because he's supremely intelligent, gifted, artistic, impeccably mannered with exquisite taste and refinement....just that little peccadillo of 'eating the free range rude', that's all. Dexter is similar, and makes you question yourself because you start to like and sympathise with him.

You didn't need to know any of this Nick - just thought I'd share as you're talking to yourself over here....
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-18-2012, 01:14 PM
Grace Gabriel's Avatar
Grace Gabriel (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,566
Thanks: 2,114
Thanks 1,129
Default

Back to your poem - which I just read again. Funny that I find that level of violence shocking in the written word - yet I could watch that in a film and be far less affected by it. Like i'm visually de-sensitised, but words find a deeper place and conscience...or something.
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-18-2012, 02:13 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
Admit to being fascinated by Dexter - same with Hannibal Lecter. I kinda marvel at how good he is at what he does , and you can almost exuse it because he's not murdering the innocent or undeserving. Love Hannibal because he's supremely intelligent, gifted, artistic, impeccably mannered with exquisite taste and refinement....just that little peccadillo of 'eating the free range rude', that's all. Dexter is similar, and makes you question yourself because you start to like and sympathise with him.

You didn't need to know any of this Nick - just thought I'd share as you're talking to yourself over here....

And we are quite certain all of this is not simply you working out a storyline in your imagination, right?

In 1963 a novel was published in UK. Title 'Monkey Planet'. Author Pierre Boulle.
Bam! Planet of the Apes is born (book had different ending).

In Miami a fella name of Jeff Lindsay writes Darkly Dreaming Dexter (2004) and-yeah, yeah (novel has different ending but other than that the first season is D.D.D. almost verbatim).
So the point?
A well written book, novel, whatever- can be springboarded into a monster money maker and a social commentary icon.

And to-

wait a sec-

how do I know one of the voices hasn't learned English and is impersonating Grace?

Because you are reading this not thinkin' it, bozo.

Oh. Okay. I choose to go with that. For now (man, life was so much more simple when I was medicated. Then I knew everything was imagination).

Grace, dude, Grace!

Oh yeah-

Grace, hope you are feeling better and I liked reading that bit you wrote about driving madly, music blasting and then morphing into a calm citizen upon arrival at your destination.
Well done.


Published the previous saw your stuff about rereading the poem- I believe the well written word allows the reader to engage the mind picture/emotion body in a voluntary manner. Makes the event personal.
The visual medium is recognized for the 2D impersonal entity that it intrinsically is.
Thus it is quite simple to turn it off (meaning regulate/diminish its impact).


I think you conjugated intrinsic wrong.

Dude, don't start again with me. I ain't in the mood.

Last edited by Nick Pierce; 05-18-2012 at 02:26 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-18-2012, 02:26 PM
Grace Gabriel's Avatar
Grace Gabriel (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,566
Thanks: 2,114
Thanks 1,129
Default

I could be one of your voices - now there's a storyline.....
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-18-2012, 02:28 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
I could be one of your voices - now there's a storyline.....

Now if only we had thought of that first.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nick Pierce For This Useful Post:
Grace Gabriel (05-18-2012)
  #12  
Old 11-15-2015, 07:10 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Mr. Pierce, do you think I will be scolded for bringing this to today's Poetry page?


One never knows, Nick.
I can tell you that acting from one's deepest convictions is fraught with peril.


Oh fine, P. - now I gotta endure cliches from you too?
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 11-16-2015, 07:28 AM
leila
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
In 1963 a novel was published in UK. Title 'Monkey Planet'. Author Pierre Boulle.
Bam! Planet of the Apes is born (book had different ending).

.
That's a terrific book. Better ending than in the film I'd say.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 11-16-2015, 07:35 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by leila View Post
That's a terrific book. Better ending than in the film I'd say.

Oh much, much, much better.

The Dexter series was started by one book.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-07-2017, 10:12 AM
Grace Gabriel's Avatar
Grace Gabriel (Offline)
Always Online
Official Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 2,566
Thanks: 2,114
Thanks 1,129
Default

I mean...you've been gone 11 days Piercey....

A gal worries..
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 01-29-2018, 09:10 PM
Beesauce (Offline)
Word Wizard
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Phomerica
Posts: 536
Thanks: 142
Thanks 68
Default

Soo... I bet you never caught that terrorist -- funny how this all works out in the end
__________________
i didnt do it, except
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Beesauce For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (01-30-2018)
  #17  
Old 02-12-2018, 01:16 PM
pralina's Avatar
pralina (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Ålesund
Posts: 138
Thanks: 46
Thanks 46
Default

I never liked Dexter, seemed silly. And I can't stand the actress that playes his sister.

I loved your imagery, though.

And as soon as I read the title I thought of the "no matter how kind you are, German children always will be kinder".
__________________
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to pralina For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-12-2018)
  #18  
Old 02-13-2018, 01:52 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

[QUOTE=pralina

I loved your imagery, though.

[/QUOTE]


To elicit such praise is the only reason I write.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 02-13-2018, 01:58 AM
pralina's Avatar
pralina (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Ålesund
Posts: 138
Thanks: 46
Thanks 46
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
To elicit such praise is the only reason I write.
Don’t we all?
__________________
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 02-13-2018, 02:03 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by pralina View Post
Don’t we all?
It's 6 am here and midnight where you are and I also write because I must spew my guts onto the page lest my tiny head explode.

Uh, maybe that is too much information but the pot of water on the stove is now warm enough to pour into the bowl in the sink so it is shaving time.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 02-13-2018, 02:08 AM
pralina's Avatar
pralina (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Ålesund
Posts: 138
Thanks: 46
Thanks 46
Default

It’s 6 am where you are and noon where I am.

And you can spew your guts on a page and get praise for it, raw emotions produce great art.
__________________
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 02-13-2018, 02:25 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by pralina View Post
It’s 6 am where you are and noon where I am.

And you can spew your guts on a page and get praise for it, raw emotions produce great art.

Another shave without cutting my throat ... sigh ... and I better not try reading internet time this early I now see.

Now I gotta pilot my '91 pickup truck through traffic without smashing or being smashed. And today one of my bosses is gonna learn me some computer stuff.

I'm movin' a little more into the current century. Yay (Christ, I hope my body don't choose now to have a stroke).
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 02-13-2018, 09:02 AM
Luciaphile's Avatar
Luciaphile (Offline)
Profusive Denizen
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 250
Thanks: 113
Thanks 59
Default

I dare you to write the opposite of this poem.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Compliments of the Author: Debbie Bumstead
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 02-13-2018, 10:04 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Luciaphile View Post
I dare you to write the opposite of this poem.
You first.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 02-15-2018, 01:57 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
You first.

What?

Leadin' from the front too scary?
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 02-15-2018, 02:02 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
What?

Leadin' from the front too scary?

Okay, okay.

Go check out one I did in 2012.

The title is "S.O.B.".

Uh, you do know how to use the search function, right?
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 02-23-2018, 02:40 AM
Luciaphile's Avatar
Luciaphile (Offline)
Profusive Denizen
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 250
Thanks: 113
Thanks 59
Default

Are you talkin' ta me? I said, Are you talkin' ta me? 'Cause if you are, if you can't take a dare, don't throw it back on me.

My search results:
The following errors occurred with your search:
Sorry - no matches. Please try some different terms.

On rereading your poem, I notice that all your torture of the guy seems in sequence except the homosexual parts. That seems homophobic to me and might to some of your readers, too. Maybe make some other awful action against him that doesn't reference sex? I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it - just a thought.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Compliments of the Author: Debbie Bumstead

Last edited by Luciaphile; 02-23-2018 at 05:09 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 02-23-2018, 10:11 AM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Luciaphile View Post
Are you talkin' ta me? I said, Are you talkin' ta me? 'Cause if you are, if you can't take a dare, don't throw it back on me.

My search results:
The following errors occurred with your search:
Sorry - no matches. Please try some different terms.

On rereading your poem, I notice that all your torture of the guy seems in sequence except the homosexual parts. That seems homophobic to me and might to some of your readers, too. Maybe make some other awful action against him that doesn't reference sex? I'm not trying to make you feel bad about it - just a thought.
Terrorists are (generally) not gay friendly from what I hear. That makes them homophobic and ... ahem ... sensitive to buggery.

Apologies to any homosexual terrorists. You know who you are and I say more power to you. Er, ... on the sexual identity side. I won't condone thuggery.


Now about the referenced work.
I shall make it appear.


And I stopped doin' things on a dare after a physician advised me "Next time penicillin may not work".
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 02-23-2018, 02:03 PM
Luciaphile's Avatar
Luciaphile (Offline)
Profusive Denizen
Official Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 250
Thanks: 113
Thanks 59
Default

The use of the word buggery is pretty awful - paints an ugly picture of someone I'd want to respect - you? I'm talking about your readers, not your terrorists. No, I'm not gay, but I'm sensitive.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Compliments of the Author: Debbie Bumstead
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Luciaphile For This Useful Post:
Nick Pierce (02-23-2018)
  #30  
Old 02-23-2018, 03:10 PM
Nick Pierce's Avatar
Nick Pierce (Online)
Samuel Johnson, obviously!
Official Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,449
Thanks: 2,089
Thanks 1,374
Default

Originally Posted by Luciaphile View Post
The use of the word buggery is pretty awful - paints an ugly picture of someone I'd want to respect - you? I'm talking about your readers, not your terrorists. No, I'm not gay, but I'm sensitive.

Thank you for expressing your opinion.
__________________
Through the smoke and fog there comes a form ... shape shifting ... could this be the Future?
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Nick Pierce For This Useful Post:
Luciaphile (02-23-2018)
Reply

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dexter the Poet... JohnConstantine Free Writing 3 11-08-2011 07:47 AM
Revenge of the Templar - Afghanistan 1879 sportourer1 Fiction 0 01-30-2011 04:54 AM
Does anyone here watch Dexter? Dougmysticeye Writers' Cafe 2 10-26-2009 04:59 PM
The LT. YES (2,103 words) Jewel of the Lotus Fiction 6 05-28-2009 12:44 AM


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:34 PM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.