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Mere Words

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Old 11-18-2011, 10:38 PM
summerbreeze (Offline)
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Default Mere Words


Inspired by a personal war between the mind and the heart.

Mere Words

Words fell meaningless upon a barren wall,
Explaining, pleading, cushioning a fall.

Nothing justified the forbidden act,
Not reason, logic, or even facts.

Screams permeated the walls of the heart,
Revealing a path several worlds apart.

Then all was lost to the tears of fight,
The cuts, the bruises, a ruthless sight.




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Last edited by summerbreeze; 11-18-2011 at 10:40 PM..
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Old 11-19-2011, 11:28 AM
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Simple, mostly easy flowing, and summed up in few words without coming off as abrupt.

I liked it.

Good work.
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Old 11-19-2011, 11:58 AM
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summerbreeze, this is well written, tight and poignant.

But I think the use of --forbidden act-- seems too strong. I felt it was left unexplained. Perhaps something in its place or more of a hint what it means.

R.
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Old 11-19-2011, 12:06 PM
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Originally Posted by Waterpoor View Post
But I think the use of --forbidden act-- seems too strong. I felt it was left unexplained. Perhaps something in its place or more of a hint what it means.

R.
Thank you for pointing that out Waterpoor. I meant to comment on that point as well.
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