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What should follow this scene?

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  #1  
Old 09-29-2014, 11:05 AM
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Default What should follow this scene?


Hi

I am doing my onemillionth rewrite of my story and I'm stuck on one particular scene.

Character A is standing outside of a bridal shop in the pouring rain. Character A is watching the woman that he loves, admiring herself in a mirror inside of the bridal shop. Character A's heart is broken because the woman that he loves is about to marry another man. Character B which is the woman catches a glimpse of Character A and waves at him because going to rejoin the bridal party. Character A gets on his motorcycle that he brought because he is in the middle of a midlife crisis and crashes into a tree because he was crying so hard that he could not see where he was going. I'm envisioning Stevie Wonder's "Ordinary Pain" is playing during the bridal scene....well at least the first 2 minutes of the song. As the song is playing, I want certain images to be going through Character A's mind. Images like Character A and Character B playing with their daughter and feeding her. Images/Scenes like Character A proposing to Character B for the first time. Images like Character A dancing with Character B on a rooftop. Images like Character A sharing popcorn with Character B during a stakeout(The both of them are private investigators.) Then I want the bad images to be like Character A watching Character B pack her bags and walking out on him. Images/Scenes like Character A arguing with Character B about custody of their daughter. Images/Scenes like Character B telling Character A that she is marrying someone else and that he can't do anything about it.

I think that Character B should go to the hospital and scream at Character A for buying a so called death machine after he wakes up from being unconscious but is that a little bit morbid?

I want Character B to realize that she is still in love with Character A after seeing him in the hospital but not to end her engagement with the other guy.

Oh I am so confused right now. I'm terrible at writing out scenes. Does anyone know what I should write after Character A gets into the motorcycle accident?

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Old 09-29-2014, 11:43 AM
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Hits a tree because he can't see through the tears.
Ah, motorcycles. A person who cannot manage their emotions is often exposed by those two wheeled mistresses.

No help with your original question, Al.
Sorry.

Did you get a writing partner?
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Old 09-29-2014, 12:53 PM
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Two possibilities occur right off the top of my foil covered hatrack. One would be to have Character B Drop whatever she's doing the moment she hears the news and rush off to the hospital. The other would be to have her become increasingly preoccupied with A's situation as the wedding approaches, and then she takes off for the hospital from the alter leaving the groom standing there.

It really depends on the character of B. What kind of person is she? Perhaps you need to flesh out her profile a bit?
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Old 09-29-2014, 02:53 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Hits a tree because he can't see through the tears.
Ah, motorcycles. A person who cannot manage their emotions is often exposed by those two wheeled mistresses.

No help with your original question, Al.
Sorry.

Did you get a writing partner?
Character A buys a motorcycle after finding one gray hair on his head lol.

I did find a writing partner, it's Max Crash. I am just taking forever sending the dialogue and ideas and everything to him. I really feel sorry for making the guy wait so long but I am in college and that does have to come first. When I finally get everything uploaded and it's all pretty and written, you will be the first one to read the story.
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:06 PM
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Originally Posted by JP_Inkswell View Post
Two possibilities occur right off the top of my foil covered hatrack. One would be to have Character B Drop whatever she's doing the moment she hears the news and rush off to the hospital. The other would be to have her become increasingly preoccupied with A's situation as the wedding approaches, and then she takes off for the hospital from the alter leaving the groom standing there.

It really depends on the character of B. What kind of person is she? Perhaps you need to flesh out her profile a bit?
The first possibility is something that I definitely considered....our minds are totally insync right now lol. The second possibly is somewhat something that I considered. Character B takes care of Character A after his accident but Character A heals quicker than Character B thinks and Character A lies to Character B about the full extent of his injuries to keep her around and hopefully make her consider getting married to the other guy.

Character B is a hippie of sorts. Character B loves Character A but leaves him because he is not ready to commit to her after 10 years and 3 kids(One is a stillbirth and One is born prematurely and dies soon afterwards. Their surviving child is a little girl named Lillian.) Character B still sleeps with Character A even after they break up and even after Character B is engaged to someone else. Character B and Character A love each other but their relationship is toxic and there's a lot of pain. Character B adores her little girl and is a devoted mother. Lillian is psychic and levitates....and she is only 6. Character B is tough, smart, and always willing to help out a friend. Character B still believes in soulmates and happy endings....even though she is 33 years old. Character A and B try their best to not argue with each other but it's kind of hard to do when the both of them have huge egos.
Character B would ride for Character A throughout anything, even if she hated his guts and she hates his guts a lot. Character B is only getting married because she likes the stability and cause the guy is rich.

Is that fleshed out enough? Do you need more information?
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:23 PM
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[QUOTE=Alligrace

I did find a writing partner, it's Max Crash. [/QUOTE]


Hey, that's good to hear, ...err... read.

He is a prolific penman and I think you two can balance each other's abilities.
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Hey, that's good to hear, ...err... read.

He is a prolific penman and I think you two can balance each other's abilities.
Lol read

Are you sure that you can't give me any ideas on how to proceed with the next scene? I would really like some nice input because I have severe writer's block.
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Old 09-29-2014, 03:59 PM
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I'm listening you know, now if I can get my swelling head out of my hat before the blood is shut of to my brain.

Lillian is psychic and levitates....and she is only 6.

have you explored the possibility of Lillian psychic-ly seeing her father crash and going nuts, before the news report comes on TV about the motorcycle that hit a tree.

B could grab her daughter, and leave without a word to her fiancée that she has cooked a very nice diner for sitting at the table. she could head for the hospital arriving just as the ambulance with daddy arrives.

it wouldn't really help with her feeling but it would add a dramatic twist and set the stage for reconciliation with one man or the other - the reader wouldn't know which one and they would read on.

any help.

and take your time, college is more important.

Max
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Old 10-01-2014, 09:56 AM
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I am rooting for Character A to fall head over heals in love with the pretty and sassy little paramedic that scoops him off the pavement and subsequently assists in his daily rehabilitation. Life is short, I don't want Character A pining after Character B whom obviously doesn't appreciate him for who he is since she is going down the path of marrying another. However, if you really want Character A and Character B to have a happy ending together then I vote for Character B reacting strongly and quickly to the motorcycle accident, dumping her current soon-to-be husband and dedicating the rest of her days to making Character A happy.
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Old 10-01-2014, 02:54 PM
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With me, nobody gets an instant happy ending. My characters will suffer until their eyes pop out of their heads. When Character A gets out of the hospital, Character B will help him get better. Character A will still love Character B but try to stay as far from a relationship with her as he can. Character A will have an epihiany and explore the dating scene when he gets better. I'm talking doing belly shots and trips to Ibiza....just pure craziness. The man considers his survival as sort of like a "Higher Ground" of sorts.(I'm sorry about the stevie wonder references....I just love him!! ) Character A will see his survival as a second chance to just have fun and explore things, while of course being a father to Lillian. Character B will be kind of jealous that Character A is moving on with his life and inadverently call him out on it, claiming that he is a bad father for doing it. Character A will see right through that lie and there will be a lot of arguments between him and Character B. Lillian will run away because she is sick of all the fighting and that's when Character A and Character B become civil again to each other. Character A begins to date a green girl(This chick is actually green with horns...it's a long story!) and Character B realizes that she still wants him but has to be respectful of his relationship for Lily's sake. Character B ends her relationship with her fiancee after their aborted wedding and travels to indonesia for transcendental mediation or Tai-chi. Character B just wants to be alone for a while and re-examine her life while Lily remains with Character A. Is it good so far? I won't give you the ending but it's one hell of an angus whopper.

Max, I can't guarantee anything. I'm not saying that I can get it to you tonight or within the next week but I am trying to find time to upload it.

Thank you so much for being understanding of this whole situation and I am soooooooooo sorry for the wait.
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Old 10-07-2014, 10:22 PM
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what is the piece asking for?
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Old 10-08-2014, 10:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Hans Lillegard View Post
what is the piece asking for?
I want to know what should happen next with the piece. I think I have it now but I am not exactly sure.

I think Crissy should scold Alexander for being dumb enough to buy a motorcycle after finding one little gray hair. Alexander should be pissed off that his mate is even considering marrying another man. Crissy moves up the wedding date because she is afraid that the ice block for Alex in her heart is about to dissolve and she will be foolish enough to take him back for the one millionth time. Alex arrives at the church before the wedding and tries to convince Crissy not to go through with it but crissy is determined. Alex puts Crissy over his shoulder and carries her out of the church, while the girl is kicking and screaming and half-dressed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gY4ZZuNWzM

I'm taking major inspiration for this very wacky scene from days of our lives.

Watch the scene and you will see what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUtDujsSP8E

I wanted Alex to do the firetruck thing with Chrissy but I was afraid that it would be too zany or wouldn't fit into the theme of the story.

Sorry for the soap clips....i just love my soapies.

I wonder which clip that I should take inspiration from and it will actually look right.
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