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Facebook and our psyche

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  #1  
Old 07-05-2014, 05:08 AM
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Default Facebook and our psyche


I am a new writer, it is for the first time I have written an article, it will be highly appreciated if anyone will help me in the evaluation,


Regards


Facebook and our psyche

Facebook has become psychological addiction, in which when someone just clicks on “like” button and an assumption takes place that the post is literary “liked” by other user in our mind, just contrary fact that it can be a mere formality. This activity develops narcissism, and we seem to be more active on the site pretention becoming favorable personality. 1*

It may be necessary for us to be attached to the site for whole day, updating every single event, emotions, pointing location, taste of eating, mood, but one thing we may not know that excess use of Facebook leads us to psychological disorder (Internet Addiction Disorder). 2*

Facebook is a go-down of easy available information that has triggered major skirmishes like envy, jealousy, false assumption, talker behavior and such other interrelated calamities. Easy accessible information increase curiosity to know more and more and leads to glitches 3*. In 2011 Facebook was reported to be third major cause of divorce in the U.S. 4*

Facebook is not just passing time over internet; it has same ethics and moral values that exist in real life. Blackmailing, misleading, public harassment, suicide, murder, rape, child sex offenses, assault, kidnapping, death threats, intimidation and fraud are some crimes related to the site. 5*

We as human being possess the nature of being attracted to something that is unknown to us, curiosity starts to develop inside us, Facebook possess the same quality, we may use it but without involving so deeply into it: if not done so, it may evolve a secret strength inside us and may lead us to social other evils. 6*

Sources
Due to having 5 posts at this forum, I am unable to mention link in this post.
1*
2*
3*
4*
5*
6*

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  #2  
Old 07-05-2014, 05:25 AM
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Congrats on gettin' in your 5 posts so you could do your intended thread, pal.

So you are aware fb was just outed for doin' their feel good/bad experiment on their lab rats?

And what part of Pakistan do you live in?
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  #3  
Old 07-05-2014, 05:34 AM
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I live in City Hyderabad, Province Sindh, I will be very thankful to you sir for your evaluation of my article, cause I am not a regular writer, therefore I want it to be evaluated by experts like you.
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Old 07-05-2014, 05:46 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post
I live in City Hyderabad, Province Sindh, I will be very thankful to you sir for your evaluation of my article, cause I am not a regular writer, therefore I want it to be evaluated by experts like you.

Yeah well I ain't no expert either, Saj.
Look at some of my threads for proof of that.
Now I'm gonna google your hometown (ever read The Thistle and the Drone?).
And you didn't answer the fb experiment question.
The info is today's news.

I will rip you a new one using a crit of your thread after I educate meself of your stomping grounds.


Respectfully, Pierce


(And please lay off that sir stuff unless you got a car that has flashing blue light capability.)
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  #5  
Old 07-05-2014, 05:57 AM
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No, I have not read The Thistle and the Drone, I have just from your today.

Yes they did experiment, search it over internet, open google, search for "facebook experiment psychology" and check the links that you find.

I could have mentioned link, if I were allowed brother.

Sorry to say, but having low vocabulary (you may think that I have low understanding power) that is why I could not understand your this sentence completely "I will rip you a new one using a crit of your thread after I educate meself of your stomping grounds."

Regards

Sajid
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:07 AM
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Okay, Saj, I'm back.

Man, you be livin' in one of our current world's hotspots.

On to your article.

It is a basic treatment of another electronic opiate for the masses.

I am glad you are using your spell checker.

What do you want your reader to take away with him (oh for pc goodness sakes- her also) after seeing your piece?


And listen pal, before you get too far down this road lemme tell ya that if you ain't writin' for a paycheck you best be writin' for your self.

Any other motivation will run out of gas and leave you stranded in a *ahem* unhappy place.

Of course you might find your muse there and begin spillin' your guts for the depraved public to feed on.

Yeah.
That could happen.
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post
No, I have not read The Thistle and the Drone,

Sorry to say, but having low vocabulary (you may think that I have low understanding power) that is why I could not understand your this sentence completely "I will rip you a new one using a crit of your thread after I educate meself of your stomping grounds."

Your comprehension of slang vocab will grow as you pursue the pen's path.
No worries.
And I got a feeling you ain't no dummy.

So I say relax, crit some of the stuff you see here, read a bunch of the interactions to get a feel of what passes for civilization in these parts and keep writing.


And brother, check out Akbar Ahmed's book.
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Old 07-05-2014, 06:28 AM
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Brother, need to go now, I will catch you day after tomorrow, I could understand little, because having little knowledge to understand (lack of vocabulary). But I am happy that there are good people at this forum like you, who want to help me. I will learn a lot here. I will reply tomorrow. Take care.
Regards
Sajid
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Old 07-05-2014, 01:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce
So I say relax, crit some of the stuff you see here, read a bunch of the interactions to get a feel of what passes for civilization in these parts and keep writing.
Very good advice, that is By commenting on other people's writing, you'll learn a lot, if not more than when you receive the comments. You don't need to know a lot of technical stuff to be able to make good comments on other members' pieces. Simply let them know what you enjoyed and what you didn't enjoy, and most importantly why that is.

Have fun!
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Old 07-06-2014, 11:31 PM
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Hi Dear Nick,
I have got your point, you mean I don't need write in this dull topic, am I right?

Thanks for you Nick & Ilseum for your precious advice, I will try to follow it.
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Old 07-07-2014, 04:29 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post
I don't need write in this dull topic

I would be very interested in reading a day of the life of Sajidalilashari.

Like what's for breakfast? Where do you go in the world's bangle capitol during the day? What are you seeing? Hearing?
What are people around you talking about? How are they dressed?

Not lookin' to learn any state secrets. Out here all we get is sensationalised news.

I believe we do not have an accurate picture of average life in many countries.

Somalia is one.

Pakistan is also one.

And such writing would offer an opportunity to help you polish your English skills.

Whatever topic you choose to write about I must say "Keep at it".

I mean keep at writing- changing topics always happens.
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  #12  
Old 07-07-2014, 10:17 AM
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And also I Wiki read that Urdu and English are two of the "official" languages in your 'hood.

But there are also others being spoken.

So do you usually converse in Urdu (I think we can rule out English) or are you using Sindhi on a daily basis?

And do you and people you talk with try out your English on each other?

This is all part of what you could cover in a short piece about how your day goes.
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Old 07-08-2014, 12:05 AM
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Thanks for your advice, you have assigned me a new task, I can not write everything right now, actually I myself have never observed my life, soundings and people so carefully, I will start doing it, and will try to write in coming few days.

Yes we have two languages here, English as official language, and Urdu and National language, but as you said there are other languages spoken here too.

I belong to Baloch People (as there is Balochistan province separately) but life in Sindh (because our ancestors migrated). Basically I am Lashari (Tribe) Baloch, and I speak Siraki (Mother Tongue), people at our neighborhood mingled, some speak Sindhi (native language Sindh Province), Urdu, Punjabi, Balochi, Pushto, Afghani Pushto.

I speak Siraiki (at home), Sindhi (mostly) and Urdu with colleagues and other people on daily conversation.

I don't find people speaking English here, few people speak because being belonged to high class family, otherwise people are living low standard life (including me).

Regards
Sajid Ali Lashari
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Old 07-08-2014, 05:25 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post
I myself have never observed my life, soundings and people so carefully,

You're on the path now, pal.

Try a short piece that covers what you see, hear and do from the moment you awake to the moment you step out your front door into the day.

And many writers always carry pen and paper with them to jot down ideas and impressions and details as the go about their day.

As a friend once said to me "A short pencil is better than a long memory".


Thanks for all the language info.
Now I gotta do some research on that stuff.


Later on, chief

Nick
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Old 07-09-2014, 02:18 AM
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Hi brother,
I have written something that happened today about my life, as you advised me to write on, I don't know how is it, because as I already mentioned I am not a writer, I don't have more knowledge of describing things accurately (because of low vocabulary and sense of writing).

It is for your evaluation, do tell me flaws, and what do I need to do to fix them, I will be very thankful to you bro. It's just a piece, I was little confused if I was going right, therefore I stopped it here for now.

Wake up, we are late for the Roza, its 3:45” my wife awakened me from the deep sleep for Roza (Roza=Fast, Muslims observe fast in the holy month of Ramadan)

To observe fast, we have to get up amid night to have big meal before 4:10 (Subject to timing), because we have to sustain ourselves without water and food till dusk of sun on hearing Azan (Prayer Call from Mosque). Approximately fast convers 15 hours here in Pakistan.

Okay, I am coming” said I, half opened eyes, reluctant to leave the bed. After getting ready, we all gathered in a room, where a 100 megawatt electric bulb was shedding golden light from the corner and thick clothe was place on the floor furnished with food. Two dishes were served; fried lady finger and mangoes. Seriously I don’t like mango with meal, but could not help myself with the availability of food at this time.

I could eat insufficient and went to offer prayer as the matter of spiritual relief. It often happens; I eat less because of food that I don’t like, I have to repay for the whole day.

The soul of Roza is to feel the pain of people who are starving (It is religious motivation to make charitable person). It considered Fast is not just keeping us restrained from food, there are certain rules like: fast of eyes; not to see bad or vulgar, fast of hands; not hurt somebody or not to help someone in wrong thing, fast of feet; not to go prohibited areas, it means every wrong thing is against Roza.

There are categories in the followers of religion.

1. The one who are clerics, have more knowledge then normal people and try to follow religion by their heart and preach people. (God knows, if they really or just to show piousness to the society)

2. Semi-Religious, this categories convers those people, who have little knowledge of religion (they follow in some manners, and are reluctant in others).

3. In this category people don’t follow religion completely, except few requirements, yet they want to be called as Muslims.

But truly speaking not every person follows the religion; it is a fact in every region.

As I belong to category number two in above, I perform Morning Prayer in Ramadan with afternoon payer on Fridays (as Fridays is considered more piety day one of 7 days), and before and after Ramadan I perform only afternoon payer on Fridays.

We are 6 family members; I, my wife, father, mother and two younger brothers. Currently I am living with my Mother-in-Law (a widow, my paternal aunty also) in Hyderabad, because my own house is under construction. My house would have been constructed earlier, but because my father’s friend who betrayed him and defaulted most of the money (Rs.4,20,000/- ($4077)) which was supposed to spent on house.

Her house is almost 5 feet down to the normal street, house consist of four rooms (5 yards each), and an open space just front to the rooms, open space is filled with mud. We sleep on Pakistani cots; it is a traditional bed we have been using for centuries.

The area we live in is encroached and house are constructed in unorganized manner, somewhere street are very narrow (even two persons can’t go parallel), and somewhere are wide enough to get truck passed in. Availability of pure water is something we wish to have; even sometimes water’s color alike lemon juice color. Sewerage system is also poor. Government is failing to provide primitive facilities.

getting late, get up” said my wife repeatedly

okay, what time is it?” I asked her mistakenly

who would I know?” she replied

okay, okay, I forgot” I said realizing the fact that she is uneducated

I got ready for office, meanwhile constantly calling my brother over cell phone, who is late as usual. It was 8:15am and we have to reach at office by 8:30, and office is 11km far from my home.

you never come earlier” I shouted at my brother, though he is just 1 year younger than I, but he respects me and never speaks with me anger, he digest everything what I say (except sometimes).

brother, actually my cell phone was on silent and I was tired, therefore got little late” he said smilingly.

I usually wear westerns clothes (office pants and plain shirts) for office only, but I personally prefer local clothes because they are loose and I feel comfortable, but my brother usually wear “Shalwar Kameez” traditional name for local clothing.
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Old 07-09-2014, 05:23 AM
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This is good raw stuff, Sajid.

Get rid of the blue coloring. Black print is fine for the entire text.

Change "convers" to covers.

Your wife knows the time at the beginning yet at the end you indicate that she cannot (due to education issue).

This is a mistake in story flow.

I gotta go sling chlorine into people's pools now (yeah, it's honest work but I do it anyhow).
Will crit more later.

Good work. You brought the cow to the barbecue. We'll get 'er dressed out directly.
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:58 PM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post

Wake up, we are late for the Roza” my wife awakened me from the deep sleep for Roza


Okay, I am coming” said I, half opened eyes, reluctant to leave the bed. After getting ready, we all gathered in a room, where a 100 megawatt electric bulb was shedding golden light from the corner and thick clothe was place on the floor furnished with food. Two dishes were served; fried lady finger and mangoes. Seriously I don’t like mango with meal, but could not help myself with the availability of food at this time.

I could eat insufficient and went to offer prayer as the matter of spiritual relief. It often happens; I eat less because of food that I don’t like, I have to repay for the whole day.

I perform Morning Prayer in Ramadan


getting late, get up” said my wife repeatedly

okay, what time is it?” I asked her mistakenly

who would I know?” she replied

okay, okay, I forgot” I said realizing the fact that she is uneducated

I got ready for office, meanwhile constantly calling my brother over cell phone, who is late as usual. It was 8:15am and we have to reach at office by 8:30, and office is 11km far from my home.

you never come earlier” I shouted at my brother, though he is just 1 year younger than I, but he respects me and never speaks with me anger, he digest everything what I say (except sometimes).

brother, actually my cell phone was on silent and I was tired, therefore got little late” he said smilingly.

I removed the filler info.
It can be added as footnotes.

Now we can look at what is termed "flow".


This has you in bed, out of bed and eating then praying then back in bed then out and getting ready for work.

But this is not the correct order of events, right?
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Old 07-09-2014, 02:17 PM
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Accept loss forever

Be submissive to everything, open, listening

No fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language, and knowledge

Be in love with your life


Those are four of Jack Kerouac's essentials for prose.




If I were to add one it would be:

Find your voice and speak with it
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Old 07-09-2014, 06:25 PM
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Well thought of and put into writing. It is a wake up call as well as an affirmation.

I try my best to be ethical on Facebook and I also try to be my "real" self as well.

I do spend plenty of time on it though, but not for the "wrong" reasons.
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:54 PM
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Hi, Brother Nick, Good Morning,

"Convers" is my typing mistake, in hurry I wrote that, I apologize for that, I have also changed the color or entire text as black.

Actually I was very much focused on time, that is why mistakenly wrote that time, I noticed it after posting, but it was not in my hand. Thanks for pointing mistake.

One thing I want to say to you, you are little confusing man, I mean you use very difficult words, I even try to find in the dictionary, but can not get complete sense in first half hour. Like "sling chlorine" :-)

I am still confused in this sentence "you brought cow to the barbecue, We'll get 'er dressed out directly" (positive or negative), though I understand each word separately, but when these words are joint together, they make a maze, difficult to be understood.

Actually as you expressed that real picture of Pakistan is unclear, therefore I wanted to sketch my life (thinking that might help you to get clear idea).

Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Accept loss forever

Be submissive to everything, open, listening

No fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language, and knowledge

Be in love with your life

Those are four of Jack Kerouac's essentials for prose.

If I were to add one it would be:

Find your voice and speak with it
What do I need to do now? I mean, was I not true to the fact?

I mean whatever I could find in my surroundings, I wrote it without hesitation.

Firstly I tried to write something imaginary, then I questioned myself, why not to write about myself? being a common Pakistani, one of those Pakistanis who have aim in their lives to get success in their lives, but they are not given such primitive facilities.

You know bro, whatever I wrote, nothing is fake, every fact and figure is truth. It is my life. :-)
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:57 PM
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Thanks brother Ericjohn, I am thankful to you, that you liked my article.
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Old 07-10-2014, 01:41 AM
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And Nick bro,
What do I need to do with information, that you have filtered and removed.
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Old 07-10-2014, 09:41 AM
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Original post saj, very good. I see it could prove true for many forums in general as well. You are receiving great advice from Nick. I am taking it all in as well needing help with my writing. I will enjoy reading more about your life and country, I love to learn such things. Thanks and thanks to Nick.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:44 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post

Get rid of the blue coloring. Black print is fine for the entire text.

Change "convers" to covers.

Your wife knows the time at the beginning yet at the end you indicate that she cannot (due to education issue).

This is a mistake in story flow.
I'm still seeing blue words and the spelling "convers".

Use the edit function to change those in your original post and we can proceed from there.

Do not concern yourself with the "chlorine" and the "cow" now.
That's just me bein' me.

At this point of the exercise we want to help you become more clearly you on the page.


So make the entire text of the original post black and correct your spelling.

Then we can continue with this thing termed writing.
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Old 07-10-2014, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Pandora View Post
You are receiving great advice from Nick.

Yeah, ain't I a scream.

Maybe I can get a job at the United Nations building as a greeter.
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Old 07-11-2014, 01:31 AM
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Okay brother as you say, I have removed the coloring, I had already made changes in my file at computer, but forgot to upload it as I was supposed to do.



Wake up, we are late for the Roza” my wife awakened me from the deep sleep for Roza

Okay, I am coming” said I, half opened eyes, reluctant to leave the bed. After getting ready, we all gathered in a room, where a 100 megawatt electric bulb was shedding golden light from the corner and thick clothe was place on the floor furnished with food. Two dishes were served; fried lady finger and mangoes. Seriously I don’t like mango with meal, but could not help myself with the availability of food at this time.

I could eat insufficient and went to offer prayer as the matter of spiritual relief. It often happens; I eat less because of food that I don’t like, I have to repay for the whole day.

I perform Morning Prayer in Ramadan


getting late, get up” said my wife repeatedly

okay, what time is it?” I asked her mistakenly

who would I know?” she replied

okay, okay, I forgot” I said realizing the fact that she is uneducated

I got ready for office, meanwhile constantly calling my brother over cell phone, who is late as usual. It was 8:15am and we have to reach at office by 8:30, and office is 11km far from my home.

you never come earlier” I shouted at my brother, though he is just 1 year younger than I, but he respects me and never speaks with me anger, he digest everything what I say (except sometimes).

“brother, actually my cell phone was on silent and I was tired, therefore got little late” he said smilingly.
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Old 07-11-2014, 01:48 AM
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Thanks Pandora, sometimes few praising words encourage a lot, Thanks again, and Thanks to Nick definitely.
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Old 07-11-2014, 03:26 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post



Wake up, we are late for the Roza” my wife awakened me from the deep sleep for Roza

Okay, I am coming” said I, half opened eyes, reluctant to leave the bed. After getting ready, we all gathered in a room, where a 100 megawatt electric bulb was shedding golden light from the corner and thick clothe was place on the floor furnished with food. Two dishes were served; fried lady finger and mangoes. Seriously I don’t like mango with meal, but could not help myself with the availability of food at this time.

I could eat insufficient and went to offer prayer as the matter of spiritual relief. It often happens; I eat less because of food that I don’t like, I have to repay for the whole day.

I perform Morning Prayer in Ramadan


getting late, get up” said my wife repeatedly

okay, what time is it?” I asked her mistakenly

who would I know?” she replied

okay, okay, I forgot” I said realizing the fact that she is uneducated

I got ready for office, meanwhile constantly calling my brother over cell phone, who is late as usual. It was 8:15am and we have to reach at office by 8:30, and office is 11km far from my home.

you never come earlier” I shouted at my brother, though he is just 1 year younger than I, but he respects me and never speaks with me anger, he digest everything what I say (except sometimes).

“brother, actually my cell phone was on silent and I was tired, therefore got little late” he said smilingly.
According to how this is written it seems
you are in bed then out of bed and eating breakfast, praying then you are back in bed then you are out of bed and getting ready for work.

Is this how the morning went?
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Old 07-11-2014, 03:33 AM
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Yeah, I am in bed, then out of the bed at 3:35am, because the time of the Roza is up to 4:10am, then I went for prayer at that time just after ending with meal for Roza, after coming back, it is still dark, therefore I went back to bed, then definitely I have to go to work but not at 5:00am in the morning, I needed wake up at 7:00am, or 7:15 to get enough time to get ready for work, because the last time of reading at work is at 8:30, but I wast late when I got up.
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Old 07-11-2014, 03:57 AM
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Originally Posted by sajidalilashari View Post
Yeah, I am in bed, then out of the bed at 3:35am, because the time of the Roza is up to 4:10am, then I went for prayer at that time just after ending with meal for Roza, after coming back, it is still dark, therefore I went back to bed, then definitely I have to go to work but not at 5:00am in the morning, I needed wake up at 7:00am, or 7:15 to get enough time to get ready for work, because the last time of reading at work is at 8:30, but I wast late when I got up.
Oh.
Never would have guessed that.
And it is not clear that was the way it went from the way it is written.
That needs fixing.
And you should always proofread your posts.
For example: "but I wast late when I"
There is no "t" needed in the word was.

I will think about how to get you out of bed and back in it so you can get back out again.
You should think about it also.

Yes, writing a little bit in a clear manner is a lot of work.
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