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Contest Results | Non Fiction | Freedom (July 2006)

 
 
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  #1  
Old 08-01-2006, 05:26 AM
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Default Contest Results | Non Fiction | Freedom (July 2006)


Thank you to everyone who entered. They were a pleasure to read.

FINAL RESULTS
Starrwriter 16.625
Denisek 16
gary wagner 15.25



Originally Posted by kalibantre
Member: Starrwriter
Title: Untitled

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 4
Overall Impression: 9

Score: 18
Comments:
I couldn't see any technical faults. The piece was wonderfully witty and yet serious which is a hard tone to master. I enjoyed the use of quotes from other sources, nice opening paragraph, and you brought up some excellent points. Incidently, I agree 100% about the freedom to be who you are.


Member: gary wagner
Title: untitled

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 8

Score: 16
Comments:
Again I couldn't see any faults in grammar and spelling. The tone was calm and the piece well explained. Interesting take on the subject, the use of personal experience was good. sort of a "don't know what you've got till it's gone" attitude, oh and it's very good you didn't actually use that quote.


Member: Denisek
Title: Wild Irish Rose

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 9

Score: 17
Comments:
The first paragraph left me very intruiged, excellent beginning. I saw no grammar or punctuation faults. The tone was a bit out of sorts at times. But I loved the story, so very strnage and yet compelling. Not at all what I expected, I was clueless waiting for the ending but absolutely hooked!
Originally Posted by Icarus
Title: Untitled
Author: starrwriter

I love the use of quotes and the ones you chose are perfect. Well-written with a clear, simple message that wasn’t taking itself too seriously.

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 4
Overall Impression: 8

Score: 17/20



Title: Untitled
Author: gary_wagner

While I liked the personal touch on this, especially because you didn’t have to stretch your own experiences to make it fit the topic, this was maybe a little too, for lack of a better word, normal. I got what I expected to get and what I got was good, but it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3.5
Overall Impression: 7

Score: 15.5/20



Title: Wild Irish Rose
Author: Denisek

I love the story told by the old woman. But the narrator wasn’t quite right, for me, I think because of its tendency to address the reader. I wanted this to be a picture through a frosty, winter window rather than an interview.

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 8

Score: 16/20

Originally Posted by aprilrain
Title: Untitled
Author: starrwriter

You provide some strong arguments and credible thoughts, but I would have liked to have seen more of your thoughts fleshed out through examples or experiences to really capture your point, rather than numerous quotes from others. All the same, you definitely have food for thought here.

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 6.5

Score: 14.5/20



Title: Untitled
Author: gary_wagner

The point you make is repetitive at times, but using a true, personal story really make this effective. Rather than telling, you show us how easy it is to devalue small freedoms and how important they become once they are gone. Personal experience here turned an otherwise tired sermon into one that makes the reader think. The writing style, though, could have been given more life if you had deviated your sentence structure.

Mechanics: 4
Intangibles: 3
Overall Impression: 8

Score: 15/20



Title: Wild Irish Rose
Author: Denisek

Since this is entered in non-fiction, I assume it is a true story, but I liked how it read like a fictional character sketch. The theme isn't strongly developed here, but the subtle message is that one person's freedom may be another person's tragedy. Some of the sentences felt disjointed, but again, I liked the dramatic style.

Mechanics: 4
Intangibles: 4
Overall Impression: 7.5

Score: 15.5/20
Starrwriter: Untitled

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 4

Overall Impression: 8

The quotes were good and it was philosophically and logically well-presented. You raised interesting points and I couldn't find any mechanical problems which is quite the accomplishment. Not to mention you used the word vicissitudes, which I absolutely adore. Nice work.

Total Score: 17/20

gary_wagner: Untitled

Mechanics: 5
Intangibles: 3

Overall Impression: 6

This was great in its honesty and straightforwardness, but those traits are also in a way what hurts it – it makes a nice little story but there's nothing particularly compelling about it.

Total Score: 14/20

DeniseK: Wild Irish Rose

Mechanics: 4
Intangibles: 4

Overall Impression: 8

I like the story overall. The descriptions were good–I can tell you like hyphenated adjectives!–but the ending seemed abrupt. And I do have a terrible pet peeve about second person. All in all though, a very nice tale made all the more pleasant by its place in nonfic.

Total Score: 16/20

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  #2  
Old 08-01-2006, 06:33 AM
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Thank you so much. I never dreamed when I entered the contests here that I'd receive these wonderful, indepth critiques. I'll repeat what I did in the Coffee Shop, this site rocks@
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  #3  
Old 08-01-2006, 06:47 AM
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well done on your shiny new award too..
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  #4  
Old 08-01-2006, 06:58 AM
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Thanks to the judges for reviewing and critiquing my story. Congratulations to DeniseK on a great piece.
  #5  
Old 08-01-2006, 07:16 AM
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How rude of me! I was so excited I forgot my manners, yes congratulations to Starrwriter and to Gary, and thanks to the judges.
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  #6  
Old 08-01-2006, 11:22 AM
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Thanks for the award. I'm always gratified when readers show their appreciation of my writing. It's better than money.
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  #7  
Old 08-01-2006, 11:23 AM
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you were the best, simple as. thanks for submitting Starr.
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