Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.

Poem: Life

Thread Tools
Old 07-16-2010, 07:44 AM
Writing.Geek.'s Avatar
Writing.Geek. (Offline)
Still Clicking!
Official Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 4,544
Thanks: 61
Thanks 147
Send a message via AIM to Writing.Geek.
Default Poem: Life

So, I'm wondering what you thought of this poem. I've always thought poetry wasn't really my forte, but, what do you think?

Here it is.


Sun rises
Sun sets,
Each day begins;
Each day ends,
Each day brings new lessons, new thoughts,
but one thing will not change,
We walk with each other everyday,
support each other,
love each other,
hate each other,
cry with each other,
yell at each other,
experience life together.

We will always be together in this one life.

There are stories all around, all you have to do is find one and write.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
if you want to reveal your stories from the shadow of your computer....
Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 12:55 PM
swissroll's Avatar
swissroll (Offline)
Eloquent Troll
Official Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 299
Thanks: 4
Thanks 20

dude, this should be on a greeting card!
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 01:02 PM
mistborn's Avatar
mistborn (Offline)
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Official Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,536
Thanks: 124
Thanks 21

Exactly as Swiss states...and there in lies the problem. This is more of a list than a poem. Next time bring some more emotion into your work, something more meaningful than a hallmark greeting.
"We need to make books cool again. If you go home with somebody and they donít have books, donít fuck them. "~ John Waters
Reply With Quote
Old 07-16-2010, 01:38 PM
AbbyBlack's Avatar
AbbyBlack (Offline)
The Next Bard
Official Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 489
Thanks: 35
Thanks 35

It's cute and very sweet. But I feel personally that what swissroll said is true. It's the kind of simple, very emotive text that anyone would understand and it would go on a love card well. Unless that's what you went for : )
Reply With Quote

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Poetry

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Creep World (WIP) MalReynolds Fiction 21 09-07-2017 06:06 AM
This is me Eleanor Rigby Introductions 8 05-27-2009 11:01 AM
If today were the last day of my life murph Free Writing 1 09-13-2007 03:40 PM
live life to the fullest _zeb_ Lyrics 0 08-08-2007 01:54 PM

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:56 AM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.