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Poem: Life

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  #1  
Old 07-16-2010, 07:44 AM
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Default Poem: Life


So, I'm wondering what you thought of this poem. I've always thought poetry wasn't really my forte, but, what do you think?

Here it is.

--------------------

Sun rises
Sun sets,
Each day begins;
Each day ends,
Each day brings new lessons, new thoughts,
but one thing will not change,
We walk with each other everyday,
support each other,
love each other,
hate each other,
cry with each other,
yell at each other,
experience life together.



We will always be together in this one life.

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Old 07-16-2010, 12:55 PM
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dude, this should be on a greeting card!
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Old 07-16-2010, 01:02 PM
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Exactly as Swiss states...and there in lies the problem. This is more of a list than a poem. Next time bring some more emotion into your work, something more meaningful than a hallmark greeting.
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Old 07-16-2010, 01:38 PM
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It's cute and very sweet. But I feel personally that what swissroll said is true. It's the kind of simple, very emotive text that anyone would understand and it would go on a love card well. Unless that's what you went for : )
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