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I Had an Idea...

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  #1  
Old 07-21-2011, 06:37 AM
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Default I Had an Idea...


I had an idea, but it ran away and went to the grocery store
to pick up milk and American cheese then came home and washed
all the dishes and vacuumed for me. I wanted to thank my idea

for helping me but I forgot what it was. I searched on Google
“What was my idea?” but it didn’t respond and searched under
the pillows and blankets, hoping to find it somewhere

inside my embedded mind. But of course, it’s MIA.
I imagine it traveling across the Pacific Ocean in a small jet plane,
ready to land. Not even sure if it even has a passport or a lifesaver.

I remember the last time I caught sight of it—when I went
out walking in the blazing heat and it accidently tripped out
of me and fell into the smelly sewers. Not sure how clean it was

either, before or after I left it there squealing in the dark tunnel
ways looking up at me with big bright yellow eyes and black
raven-like hair. I can still see the bluish flecks streaming

underneath the stagnant waters. Was it mean of me to leave
my idea and let it escape my thoughts? Or did I just scare away
the very thing that came to love me for this limited time only?

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Old 07-21-2011, 01:09 PM
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Ahh yes, the idea. It can be so elusive and unpredictable (and apparently has a taste for dairy products). A very entertaining piece. I enjoy poetry that reads like prose. I also found it entertaining that you wrote this about an idea and earlier I posted one about a notion. Good stuff!
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Old 07-22-2011, 12:21 PM
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Loved this,

It reminded me of the easy conversatonal style of a Liverpool poet called Brian Patten. I grew up reading Patten and other poets of the time before I went to school and learned about Milton and Virgil et.al.

Excellent poem. Thank you.

Zen.
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Old 07-22-2011, 01:31 PM
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It amused me. Lots of imaginative ways to lose track of an idea you once had. It's something that most, if not all, writers can relate to. I know I've certainly felt it.

Having the lines start midsentence kind of threw me off a bit, but I know it's a valid choice that plenty of poets make.

Good job.
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Old 07-23-2011, 10:24 AM
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Really like this. The image of the 'idea' looking back at the speaker from the sewers actually chilled me a bit.
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