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Some Poets

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  #1  
Old 05-27-2012, 03:32 AM
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Default Some Poets


some poets
when they write
it's their words
they look like colored chalk drawings
on cement
on a sidewalk
beautiful
artistic
delicate
folks stop and gaze
admire and walk around
nothin' wrong with that
then the dark comes
their words cannot blaze guidance
are trampled without regard
and an errant shower
rebirths the grey
the hard grey
the hard grey that gleams
dully
in the damp dawn


Last edited by Nick Pierce; 01-27-2018 at 11:13 AM.. Reason: 'Cause I like more like this
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  #2  
Old 05-27-2012, 10:15 AM
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What an incredible piece Nick!! It's going, going...it's outta there! This is a home run!!
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Old 05-27-2012, 11:04 AM
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I agree with KBR -- real nice. Hits close to home with me. Kinda makes me wanna die. I love when poems do that.
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Old 05-27-2012, 12:40 PM
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Originally Posted by beefheart View Post
Kinda makes me wanna die.
I know this feeling.
Happens when I read you.
Happy to return the favor.
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Old 05-27-2012, 12:57 PM
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I can only say that my wish is that one day my prose will be like this poem.
To not be forgotten.
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Old 05-27-2012, 01:40 PM
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Originally Posted by luckyme View Post
one day my prose will be like this poem.
Oh I think you will find my work is surpassable.

Look 'em in the eye
Grab 'em by the belt
Pull 'em close and say
Gotcha

That's how I engage inspirations.



You will find your own technique, by and by.
And that is something worth remembering.
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Old 01-27-2018, 10:59 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
some poets
when they write
it's their words
they look like colored chalk drawings
on cement
on a sidewalk
beautiful
artistic
delicate
folks stop and gaze
admire and walk around
nothin' wrong with that
then the dark comes
their words cannot blaze guidance
are trampled without regard
and an errant shower
rebirths the grey
the hard grey
the hard grey that gleams dully
in the damp dawn
Censored.
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Last edited by Nick Pierce; 01-27-2018 at 11:08 AM.. Reason: I ain't sayin'.
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Old 01-27-2018, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
some poets
when they write
it's their words
they look like colored chalk drawings
on cement
on a sidewalk
beautiful
artistic
delicate
folks stop and gaze
admire and walk around
nothin' wrong with that
then the dark comes
their words cannot blaze guidance
are trampled without regard
and an errant shower
rebirths the grey
the hard grey
the hard grey that gleams
dully
in the damp dawn
I love it. And it is so true.

It makes me mad when teachers force kids to analyze poems as if there was just one correct meaning to them. With poetry you never really know what the poet wanted to say. Or to hide.
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  #9  
Old 01-27-2018, 01:48 PM
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Originally Posted by pralina View Post
I love it. And it is so true.

It makes me mad when teachers force kids to analyze poems as if there was just one correct meaning to them. With poetry you never really know what the poet wanted to say. Or to hide.

"There are at least two correct answers to any given question."
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Old 01-27-2018, 04:55 PM
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Never question your style, but also never sully another's. There's more than one way to cook a steak.
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  #11  
Old 02-27-2018, 10:31 AM
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Amazing work! Keep going!
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Old 03-01-2018, 12:14 PM
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You know, though it is very good, I think you might tighten it up, or not... take out ands and ares and such, like you could take out the whole phrase "It's their words they look like" and it would be tight ?
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  #13  
Old 03-01-2018, 03:34 PM
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[QUOTE=Luciaphile

take out ands and ares and such

[/QUOTE]


Now that you have told me, show me.
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Old 03-01-2018, 03:59 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
some poets

their words
like rainbow chalk drawings
cemented
on sidewalk,
beautiful
artistic
delicate
folks stop-
gaze
admire and walk around
then night comes
their words shadowed
trampled without regard-
and an errant shower
reveals the grey
the hard grey
the dull grey that glistens
in the damp dawn
That's how I would cut it, but I ain't no poet, and I like punctuation haha

Okay, I kept editing and i want to apologize for how much I perverted your lines
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Last edited by daes13; 03-01-2018 at 05:00 PM..
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  #15  
Old 03-01-2018, 06:24 PM
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Great last line there.
Nothing negative to say about this one
Hey, it's a poem by Nick P. and it's not about sitting on thrones, nice one back from 2012, edited 2018. Glad I read it, you should keep everything uncapitalized.
Have you ever published or do you just stay on the WB?
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  #16  
Old 03-02-2018, 01:51 AM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
That's how I would cut it, but I ain't no poet, and I like punctuation haha

Okay, I kept editing and i want to apologize for how much I perverted your lines
No problem.
Thanks for posting your views.
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  #17  
Old 03-02-2018, 01:54 AM
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[QUOTE=Beesauce

Have you ever published or do you just stay on the WB?

[/QUOTE]

Not published other than here.
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