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Poetry Sit down or take a stand in this poetry section.


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  #1  
Old 08-25-2017, 01:12 PM
Hidrolic (Offline)
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If it's my time I'm ready
I never lived a life of crime
Or laid with swine
But if it's my time I'm ready
I never had innate hate by design
Or tried to alter another's state of mind
But if it's my time I'm ready
I never assisted in ones decline
Or resisted to help one climb
So it can't be my time already
I'm doing good, I'm fine
I been on my grind already
If I could I would
Give sight to the blind already
You can lean on me
I stand firm and my stance is steady

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Old 08-26-2017, 06:14 AM
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Grace Gabriel (Offline)
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I like this. Works as a rap or a poem.

I manipulated the structure so your refrain "I'm ready" stands out and it presents itself as three, six line verses.

If it doesn't work for you, disregard.

If it helps, my intention is met.

Nice work Hidrolic.
------------------------------------------------------------------------


If its my time,
I'm ready.
Never lived a life of crime,
took what wasn't mine,
but if its my time,
I'm ready.

No innate hate by design,
won't encourage your decline.
Take my hand,
I'll help you climb.
No, it can't be my time
already.

I'm doin' good, I'm doin' fine.
Left the past behind, stayed on my grind.
I'm steady. If I could, I would
have given
sight to the blind
already.

Hope you see
you can lean on me.
My stance is steady.
I know my own mind,
goals clearly defined.
I'm ready.
__________________
GRACE GABRIEL
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  #3  
Old 08-26-2017, 06:54 AM
Hidrolic (Offline)
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I like the structure but not the wording...Glad you liked it. Thanks for the help.
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