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Anna & the Elk King

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  #1  
Old 02-17-2018, 08:46 PM
spshane (Offline)
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Old 02-17-2018, 09:16 PM
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I'll save these all for later analyzing SpShane. You are still around posting and I bet you'll be around to the very end. But I do hope you do stick around as everything you do is being phytoremediated by a true aster, wears it on the sleeve that one who collects.

Cheers

by golly, I couldn't help myself and red the funny thing about this is.. I won't say until years from now. You say you're 70? Hope you get to see your hard work in print when this ghostwriting job I have is going to include sunflowers and some of your early work from 2016 won some secret prizes. Dear me. keep them coming right? I mean, the material you've been working with over the years is quiet remarkable


“Sunflower... I know you mean me no arm.” She turned and stalked out of Anna's office.
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Old 02-20-2018, 04:08 AM
IanG (Offline)
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You evoke the setting very well, especially at the beginning. The term 'elk king' seemed a little odd as elk live in the northern continents and your story is rooted in the southern continents, Africa and Latin America by the look of it. Does elk carry another meaning I don't know about? Two species of the deer family are sometimes referred to as elk, but one is in North America and another in Siberia, neither occurs in Africa.
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Old 02-20-2018, 09:35 AM
spshane (Offline)
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Suppose I could have gone with Antelope King, Ram King... Big crazy guy with horns on his head. Thank you for elucidating my ignorance.
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Old 02-20-2018, 05:55 PM
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Originally Posted by IanG View Post
You evoke the setting very well, especially at the beginning. The term 'elk king' seemed a little odd as elk live in the northern continents and your story is rooted in the southern continents, Africa and Latin America by the look of it. Does elk carry another meaning I don't know about? Two species of the deer family are sometimes referred to as elk, but one is in North America and another in Siberia, neither occurs in Africa.

Nice catch!

Thanks for seeing that. As I did circle the Elk part. And abuelita didn't make sense. Hm. Nice "A" name. Anything but Annie. Am I right? Gold star this sunflower. Novella? It seems everyone in your story just dies real quick. This is good. I love short stories. Kill them quickly, publish the story, move on. Next set! You should check out content writing. You could actually make money working for companies writing articles and stories with lists fed to you. That's what I do for businesses, I essentially write commercial jingles.
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Old 02-20-2018, 06:34 PM
spshane (Offline)
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Anna is of Hispanic heritage and abuelita is Spanish for grandmother or 'little grandmother'. Notice the first usage is 'your abuelita'.
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Old 02-21-2018, 03:06 AM
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Have you thought of 'buffalo king' for a title? There are buffalo in Africa, thought a different species to the American buffalo (or bison). It evokes something large and powerful better than antelope. You could try googling African wildlife or African buffalo if you want more information.
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Old 02-21-2018, 06:24 AM
spshane (Offline)
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I'll give that some consideration. My mistake may have been going with Central Africa, as I wasn't aiming to catalog the biodiversity of any real place. I was looking for a place more commonly thought of as a "third-world shit-hole," the kind of place where a warlord could get away genocide. It's what the Elk King/Antelope King/Buffalo King does--all the genocide--that I was aiming to focus on and not the type of horns he has on his head. Since it gives readers pause, I'll reconsider that part.
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