Creating that magic one sentence is really tough when you know the subject matter back to front and can be tougher if, like me, you have no idea.
Your current "one sentence" isn't really one sentence, its about three. But I suspect you know that already, or you wouldn't be posting here. The trick is to decide what to cut and what is important to your story. I mean VITAL, as in you need to know it or it doesn't make any sense or loses impact.
Below, I have had a go (I really can't help myself, I'm a natural born meddler), but ultimately this is just to give you an idea - it is by no means a true suggestion and, in the end, only you can decide what sentence has the right ingredients to sell your story!
Tyler Coughlin, a 16 year old with Bipolar Disorder, leaves high school to pursue his dreams, experiencing everything from working on a Presidential Campaign to founding an Adult Production Company.
The above is the bear bones, as I understand them. The goal I was taught for a hook (or log-line) was 27 words. The above is 30, so still probably a bit too long for a hook. But you get what I mean. Like I said, this is just an idea, a direction pointer. The sentence really has to come from you.
TAKE THE RISK
Last edited by risk10; 11-05-2013 at 04:24 PM..