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Is It Worth It?

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  #1  
Old 07-28-2006, 07:09 PM
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Default Is It Worth It?


Is It Worth It?


What if you choose to
buy into
This thing they call love?

Is it worth
What you get
In return?

Is it worth
Everything they say?

Is it worth
What you have to give up?

Your dignity
Your time
Your pride
Your affection

All for what?

Happily ever after always
Sounds so sweet
When youíre lookiní down the barrel
Of a gun
But what then
If you donít get the chance to meet
So you can greet

Your knight in shininí armor
Your prince charminí
What if you just get Yours Truly?

Are expectations something we expect?
Or is it expected of us that we
Accept
What we get,

This lot in life
These roads we walk
The choices we make
Do we create
Or is it made
Tailor made
To just
Annoy
Disappoint?

Can someone explain?
Can someone clarify?
If you will
How it seems
To always seem
To go this way

First step :
First kiss
First love
I love you

Second Step :
Second Problem
Second Fight
Itís becoming an issue
To kiss you.
Any time,
All the time.
Why you pulliní away girl?
I love you

Third Step :
Last Night
Last Fight
Last Kiss
GOODNIGHT
I STILL LOVE YOU

But
Thereís a snag
In this master plan
Thereís a jam
In this machine

You

DONíT

Love

Me

But how could it ever be
How could you ever see
Me
In a light
Other than just another Joe?

One that canít measure up
Ever
But Iíll promise you this
I will try
Forever
And ever
To earn whatever
Whether
It be
Trust,
Love,
Friendship,
Attention.

Attention!

Attention!

Hear this!
I wonít stop
I canít
Iíve tried
Itís no use
I keep falliní back

Falliní down

Down

Down

Back to where I was
Where We were
You were
Were you?
Where I was?
When we wereÖ
Us?

I donít know
It seemed
As though
You were
Where I was
But now
Everything
Is not
What it seems

Perhaps
You werenít even
THERE
To begin
You just
Put me
Where
You wanted me to be
Where you needed me to be
But baby
You never let me
Be
ALL
I could be

I want you to realize
To believe
Completely
That what I say
Is not
What I mean
What I want
To say
Is so much
But itís quite simple
Quite elementary
My
Dear
Itís just

One thing

A Single Ideal

Encapsulated
Contained
Personified in

Just
Four
Little
Words

I still love you.

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  #2  
Old 07-28-2006, 07:20 PM
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I really like this poem,is really good
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  #3  
Old 07-29-2006, 08:54 PM
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It started out really good. But then it just got so mumbo-jumbo. It looked really disorganized to me and it was hard to follow. I also think that your purpose of the poem changed halfway through. At the beginning you were talking about "is it worth it". To me, this is a question to the reader... you are getting ready to explain a situation or a feeling and the reader will decide whether or not it is worth it. But when you said this:
Back to where I was
Where We were
You were
Were you?
Where I was?
When we wereÖ
Us?
I got really lost. I had no clue what you were trying to say anymore. I believe you switch tones into a "this is the way it is, whether you like it or not" type of voice. In love, that does happen alot, I agree, but I don't think that is what you wanted to convey in your poem. I could be wrong. The idea behind it is terrific. I applaude you very much for a noble attempt. And I still think you had a wonderful beginning, but you just lost focus. Keep up your work.
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  #4  
Old 07-30-2006, 10:11 AM
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This lot in life
These roads we walk
The choices we make
Do we create
Or is it made
Tailor made
To just
Annoy
Disappoint?

Can someone explain?
Can someone clarify?
If you will
How it seems
To always seem
To go this wayI liked this part alot for some reason, half way through this piece I kinda got lost a bit, I'm not a fan of to much poetry with the obvious "directed at" theme, I think that if you revisted this piece and did a little cutting and tightening, it could be very nice.
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  #5  
Old 07-30-2006, 10:23 AM
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I didn't like this. It seemed too long ands too repetive. You could have a great message here but it's lost in trying to hard to be poetic and interesting and you missed the poetry. where's the word play the imagery the emption wheres the part that smacks me in the face and make me want to call the person I'm i love with?

I think it need refining, you need to take its essence and re work this, with the age old tricks of poetry. The line breaks were just there not used to great effect. I'm just not feeling it sorry.
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