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Sebastian Belial

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  #1  
Old 01-16-2009, 09:24 AM
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Default Sebastian Belial


Hello all, I am Sebastian Belial; at 43 years my life is in many regards a failure, I failed to save my sister after our parents died, I have no wife or children, not even a girlfriend when I was younger. I life in a one bedroom flat, no living room, just a small kitchen.

My colleges at work regard me as a joke at best, and worse of all, they are probably right, for I am always too late, I always fail to safe the innocent.

I am a failure, not worth remembering.
So why do you want to know about me?

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Old 01-16-2009, 09:52 AM
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Hello, Sebastian. Pleasure to meet you, and I mean that sincerely.

Isn't failure a state of mind, ultimately? Could you not dredge yourself up from the depths of your despair by seeking help, turn your life around and make yourself more successful?

You say you failed to save your sister. Does this mean you feel responsible for her death? How did she die? How close were you to her?

You also say you fail to save the innocent. Who are these innocents you're talking about?

You don't sound very happy where you are and with your life in general. What's the one thing you'd do that you feel would change it for the better?

And why do I want to know you? Because everyone has a story to tell, and everyone should be listened to. Others don't treat you this way?
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Old 01-16-2009, 10:35 AM
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Please don’t ask about Jasmine.

Originally Posted by Devon View Post
Isn't failure a state of mind, ultimately?
That is what Doctor Metaboshi used to say, and somewhere along the line you are both right, but I can not dispute the facts.
I am a police officer, specifically a Warden, a special rank similar to a Detective but specialised. If a crime involves a child in any way it is my job, regardless of the crime or any other people involved, to safeguard any children involved, wheatear as victim or otherwise. So in a way I am just as much a social worker as an officer of the law.

Every time I manage to save one from being a victim I fail three more. You ask what I would do to make thinks better, the only thing I can, keep going, to safe more, and hopefully fail fewer.

How can I be more successful? Can you show me the way? Well can you?
I work as much as I can, I go beyond the call of duty as they would say, what more can I do?

Because everyone has a story to tell, and everyone should be listened to.
What story could I possibly have to tell but one of horror of this world?





(Direct questions about Jasmine and the events of that time, will just lead to you being stonewalled, if you mast ask be careful and indirect, I can not deal with a breakdown in Sebastian at this time ~ Tau)
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Old 01-16-2009, 10:55 AM
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So Sebastian, what's up with the no girlfriend thing? I mean, have you just been really busy with work? or too sad? or is there something about relationships you don't like?

Why don't get try to get a bigger apartment? I would think that living in such a small, sad space would make you sadder. Have you tried anything to get your spirits up? Like talk to a therapist or a maybe get some anti-depressants?
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Old 01-16-2009, 10:58 AM
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Hey, Sebastian. You seem pretty down in general. My commisserations.

So Every time you save one person, you end up failing to save three--does this mean that you're only successful in your work a quarter of the time? If there's a standoff with a homicidal maniac and a child is in danger, and this happens four times, you would pretty frequently be successful once and the other three times the child would die? Are you truly failing at these things, or do you merely believe you're failing? Do you think you have a responsibility to do better when you're already on the brink of complete collapse? Do you push yourself so hard you can't see your own successes? Can it be possible that you need to step back and see yourself the way others truly see you, instead of believing everyone else's perceptions to be the same as yours? Maybe your colleagues don't think you a joke--maybe you do, and think it only natural that they'd think the same.
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Old 01-16-2009, 11:25 AM
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Hello Winterbite


It was a figure of speech, but for everyone I do safe there are more I fail, I picked three as that is what it feels like most of the time, but even if it is one failure for each safe it is still to many.
When I say safe I mean more then just their life in an extreme situation, but also their minds, their future and so on in the mundane cases, repeat vandals, abusive parents, and the rest of the long list.

As for my colleges, admittedly I don’t know about all, but I know about some for sure, they are openly hostile, one of the homicide detectives (I won’t name names) has condemned me on the new as and I quote “…embarrassment to this police force, a glorified child minder who should never have been born…”

Admittedly he got an earful from the Top, but mostly for insulting the competence of the police. He is not the only one, I have heard similar from several others, though not on the news.

As for your other questions, I just don’t know, but know this, if I don’t do my job, then who will look after the children? The social service can do only so much.
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Old 01-16-2009, 11:39 AM
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Right. So it's fairly obvious that you're not thought much of. I have a question about your name: Does it have any sort of significance? Belial means "worthless" in Hebrew, and is also the name of a powerful demon. Is there a history behind this, or am I just making you question yourself more? If it's the second one, please remember the Shakespeare quote, "What's in a name?"
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Old 01-16-2009, 12:06 PM
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Hi Sebastian! I'll try not to get too personal here since you seem kind of touchy about it--nothing wrong there--so how about some general questions?

What do you find yourself doing that you wish you wouldn't do? Running your hands through your hair when you're nervous? Or maybe that old saying "Step on a crack and you break your mother's back" has stayed with you and you make it a point to not step on the cracks?

What is the best quality you see in yourself? Why do you think that's your best quality?

What are your five earliest memories? Good or bad, happy or sad... Though I guess those correlate on some level.

Do you have any phobias? Do you know why you have those phobias?

Well, good meeting you!
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Old 01-16-2009, 12:39 PM
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It is just the family name, I did not know it had any meaning. One learns something new.

Hello El902, what a strange name.

I always have a kettle boiling, but rally remember to actually make the tea. As for my best quality, I can not see one, well maybe empathy but it is more of a curse to be honest.

Five earliest memories?
Let me think
Well there was the trip to grandma when Jasmine was born; she had a lovely raspberry cake.

Then there is one were I am sitting at the table, and there is a bowl in the middle and I want it but was not allowed to have it.

I remember a Christmas, Jasmine must have been two because there was something about a family picture and I refused to share it with her, again.

How many was that? Three, hmm, let me think.

Ah yes there was the first school day of school, I was so excited, but the teacher was so loud.

Jasmine sleeping, smiling, she must have been three or four because I can remember she used my school bag as a pillow.

Phobias?
Br…bread knifes


(The name does actually have significance, but not within the story, you will see when you meet some of the others. I did not know it meant worthless in Hebrew, what a coincidence. ~ Tau)
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Old 01-16-2009, 01:06 PM
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So Sebastian, what's up with the no girlfriend thing? I mean, have you just been really busy with work? or too sad? or is there something about relationships you don't like?

Why don't get try to get a bigger apartment? I would think that living in such a small, sad space would make you sadder. Have you tried anything to get your spirits up? Like talk to a therapist or a maybe get some anti-depressants?
Hey! What about my questions? I feel so ignored.
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Old 01-16-2009, 01:20 PM
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Oh, I must apologies Firefly, I did not see you there.

Gulp. When I was younger I was in no state to have a ‘relationship’, I needed therapy for to long, then I had work as I only goal, it meant I could do some good, socialising just did not come into it.
Now I am in my forties, a bit to late to start now.

I suppose I could get a larger place to live, but it would just gather dust, so what is the point?
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Old 01-16-2009, 01:46 PM
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It can be hard to work in a job like yours, where you see lots of victims and feel like you can't help them. Ultimately, you can't save everyone.

For all that, though, I'm sure you do a lot of good. Just remember that you see people in their worst moments. Many of them will go on to recover, turn their lives around, and really benefit from your work; just because you don't hear from them doesn't mean they don't exist. Keep up the good work!

No-one can keep giving and giving without nourishing themselves at some point. So my questions are about taking care of yourself.

What do you do in your spare time? Any hobbies or interests?

Do you practice any religion or hold any faith? What do you do to renew yourself spiritually?

Is there anyone you can rely on to listen when you need to talk? Are you still in therapy? If so, how do you like the therapist?

What was the last thing you did just for yourself?
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Old 01-16-2009, 02:42 PM
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Hello HoiLei

I read, or go for walks, sit in the park, but mainly I spend my spare time resting, so that I can work properly. As for a proper hobby I don’t have one of those.

My faith? I am a follower of the Blue Child.

I am no longer in therapy, if I was then I could not do my job, regulations and such. And if I need to talk to somebody then I talk to Sam the Priest.

I went to see a Babylon AD, about six months ago, as I remember the book the film was based as being quit good, but the film was not that good.

(To know who the Blue child is you would need to have read Blue Star Rising, which is somewhere on WB but I cant remember where, it has been a while ~ Tau)
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Old 01-16-2009, 03:01 PM
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Not the Blue Child from Blue Star Rising? Interesting!

So, tell me a little about Sam the Priest. Is he a follower of the Blue Child, too? How long have you known him and what's your relationship like?
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Old 01-16-2009, 03:15 PM
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(You found BSR, I am impressed it has been so long, and yes there is a connection between the blue child in there and the blue child that Sebastian follows as his faith, now if you can name the child I will be really impressed, just don’t do it in public so as not to spoil the fun, a pm would be fine, oh and Sebastian will reply in a moment, I just need to figure out how much ~ Tau)
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Old 01-16-2009, 03:46 PM
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(Ok first of I have decided that you will meet Sam the priest in his own thread in the near future, in doing so I will open a door into key themes of all my work from the last four years, that is several novels at different stage and drafts (non complete as yet), about a dozen short stories and as many poems, many of which are still in draft or otherwise unsuited for presentation. In fact the only part of my work that is not included is that related to Eomis and maybe the odd contest entry or spur of the moment poem. ~ Tau)

Oh Sam, he is just this Priest I meet a while ago.
He is a bit like one of those wandering monks, except he has kind of settled down now. He spends most of his time outside, in parks or just walking along the streets.
He has this ground floor flat he lives in, everything inside is rather plain, except for the pray room. He welcomes all faiths in to his little ‘church’ or in other words the entire flat.

He is just a friendly person, teaches the children games, helps the old with their shopping, or getting up the stairs. Things like that.

If I remember right I first meet him after a gang of teenagers tried to rob him, as he keeps his door open and welcomes all people in. out here in this little satellite community this even works, though in the city he would be in a lot of trouble.

As for the Blue child, I don’t know, he seems to be of no particular religion, or maybe all religion, you are better of asking him yourself.
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Old 01-17-2009, 02:02 AM
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How can I be more successful? Can you show me the way? Well can you?
I work as much as I can, I go beyond the call of duty as they would say, what more can I do?
It sounds like you need a change of location for your job, or a change of job. Have you considered another line of work, especially since it seems like this one makes you terribly unhappy?

What story could I possibly have to tell but one of horror of this world?
Then those are the stories that need to be told. Who better than someone who's seen it recounting the horrors of whatever 'it' might be, to others who are more ignorant of such things, eh?
As for my colleges, admittedly I don’t know about all, but I know about some for sure, they are openly hostile, one of the homicide detectives (I won’t name names) has condemned me on the new as and I quote “…embarrassment to this police force, a glorified child minder who should never have been born…”

Admittedly he got an earful from the Top, but mostly for insulting the competence of the police. He is not the only one, I have heard similar from several others, though not on the news.
Then all the more reason to search for another station to work for, one that offers similar services to the one you specialize in. Who needs to work with people like that? Doesn't sound like you make the kind of money that would keep you where you are, and neither does it sound like you derive any satisfaction from the work you do. Wouldn't you at least get a good feeling in saving those you do save?

Now I am in my forties, a bit to late to start now.

I suppose I could get a larger place to live, but it would just gather dust, so what is the point?
Forty is never too late to start. People in their forties begin relationships all the time. In fact, eighty-year-olds sometimes get married! You've never thought anyone attractive, attractive enough to pursue, even at the age you are now?


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Old 01-17-2009, 04:55 AM
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A change of job you say, I spent 22 years in this job, 10 of them as a Warden, I can do more good here then if I became a social worker, it just is not enough.
As for a new line of work, I can not see any that would help children be saved.

The ignorant wont truly listen, it will be ‘news’ and nothing more, if they truly listen then they would try to do something.

Originally Posted by Devon View Post
Forty is never too late to start. People in their forties begin relationships all the time. In fact, eighty-year-olds sometimes get married! You've never thought anyone attractive, attractive enough to pursue, even at the age you are now?
Not in nearly three decades, and the person is dead.


(A round of applause for HoiLei please

She has figured out the Blue Childs name.

Oh and Sebastian needs to stay single and in his job until he has played out his role ~ Tau)


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Old 01-17-2009, 02:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Tau View Post
(A round of applause for HoiLei please

She has figured out the Blue Childs name.

~ Tau)
Thank you, thank you very much. *bows* It was a fun little scavenger hunt!
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Old 01-18-2009, 05:19 AM
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The Special Victims Unit of our law enforcement division is very hard field to be in.

Is it ONLY children?

Or do you help adults, like the abused mothers with children that need help for both the child and the parent?

I was just wondering about that.
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Old 01-18-2009, 05:27 AM
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My work priority are the children, if that means I have to take care of any adults involved then I will, though normally somebody else will take over at some point.
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