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How should I write this rape/sexual assault scene?

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  #1  
Old 02-07-2016, 10:03 AM
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Default How should I write this rape/sexual assault scene?


In my story, a woman sexually assaults a man, which is the crime that sets the rest of the plot in motion.

However, after getting some feedback from others, I wrote the scene in an unintentionally funny way, or so they say.

Basically what the woman does, to get the man hard is, she puts a cock ring on his penis, and then uses a penis pump, to get him hard. The ring then holds the blood in, and keeps it hard.

But I was told by others that this ruins the horror of the same scene because a penis pump is just going to bring unintentional laughs to the reader. I did research and I asked around, and I was informed that a penis pump is the best way to force a hostage to get an erection, when he doesn't want to.

I can't use drugs like viagra, or anything stronger, cause those drugs only get a man erect when he is in the mood. Being kidnapped and tied up, by a dangerous psycho will not get this man in the mood, and those drugs do not make one's penis just go up, in a life threatening situation.

So since drugs are not reliable in that sense, is the a better way that will not cause laughs, like the reader's said? I am guessing that the reason why it caused laughs was that the penis pump was in bad taste? However, the villain wants to rape so she herself is in bad taste, and would probably do what it takes to achieve that.

But if it's still going to cause bad laughs is their a better method, that would still make sense for the character to use?

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Old 02-07-2016, 10:38 AM
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If a psychopathic girl ties me up, I'm already hard.

You may want to consider her using a strap-on and sodomizing him.
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:15 AM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
If a psychopathic girl ties me up, I'm already hard.

You may want to consider her using a strap-on and sodomizing him.

Yup, me too.
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:37 AM
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Well I don't really want the somodizing, as I feel it's kind of... I don't know, but it doesn't have the same effect. Like I have seen the sodomy done before, and I wanted to do a different take on it sort of.

Plus in my story, the guy is married, and devoted to his wife. If another woman knocks him out and ties up him up and has a loaded gun on his as in this, case, he is going to feel more victimized than turned on.

Last edited by ironpony; 02-07-2016 at 11:46 AM..
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:55 AM
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Or, he could feel even more victimized that she did turn him on regardless of his morals.
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Old 02-07-2016, 11:58 AM
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That's what my friend said as well. I thought it would be more dramatic though if he wasn't turned on at all, begging to stop, and screaming for freedom. Cause then later when he gets revenge on her, the reader is feeling sympathy for him and is behind him on it.

If he is turned on by it, but then regrets it and wants revenge, would the reader get behind him the same way?
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Old 02-07-2016, 12:07 PM
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He could still beg her to stop even if he's hard. A man's dick is not connected to his brain.
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Old 02-07-2016, 12:30 PM
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Okay thanks. That's how I wrote it originally but then readers had a problem saying they did not understand how he was hard, if he is not wanting it. So I rewrote so that a penis pump was used, so readers would understand it more, if that's a problem.

But I did have quite a few readers say they did not understand how a man could get an erection if he didn't want it.
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Old 02-07-2016, 12:35 PM
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Uh... I always get erections when I don't want them. Those readers are stupid then. There's a reason a man's dick gets him in trouble.
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Old 02-07-2016, 01:35 PM
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People forget that rape is about power, violence and control, not sexual gratification.
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Old 02-07-2016, 01:52 PM
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[QUOTE=daes13

A man's dick is not connected to his brain.

[/QUOTE]

If any of my shenanigans ever get me into court I want you on the jury.
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Old 02-07-2016, 01:55 PM
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Originally Posted by SavannaPeterson View Post
People forget that rape is about power, violence and control, not sexual gratification.

Cell block D philosophy.
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Old 02-07-2016, 03:53 PM
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Originally Posted by SavannaPeterson View Post
People forget that rape is about power, violence and control, not sexual gratification.
That's why, when someone tries to fight me I don't fight back. I just rape them. Kick someone's ass and they come back. Rape them, and they never fuck with you again.
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Old 02-08-2016, 07:59 AM
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Well I'm sure if you do a simple scene of forced fellatio that the fact such an act would arouse most men easily even if forced would be a simple way for the victim to rise to the occasion.

Or have the villain have a bi-sexual apprentice that perform lesbian acts in front of him to arouse him and maybe the apprentice does a simple rim job.

Guys are easily aroused, so any type of direct stimulation would arouse most men.

The penis has its own brain.
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Old 02-08-2016, 08:00 AM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
That's why, when someone tries to fight me I don't fight back. I just rape them. Kick someone's ass and they come back. Rape them, and they never fuck with you again.
So you're ac/dc you can plug into anything right?

LOL
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Old 02-08-2016, 08:13 AM
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If it wasn't for all the romantic stuff: kissing, touching, butt-fucking etc. I could be gay. Seems like an awesome lifestyle.
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Old 02-08-2016, 01:10 PM
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Originally Posted by adoni View Post
Well I'm sure if you do a simple scene of forced fellatio that the fact such an act would arouse most men easily even if forced would be a simple way for the victim to rise to the occasion.

Or have the villain have a bi-sexual apprentice that perform lesbian acts in front of him to arouse him and maybe the apprentice does a simple rim job.

Guys are easily aroused, so any type of direct stimulation would arouse most men.

The penis has its own brain.
Okay thanks. Would it be hard for her to perform fellatio if he is trying to fight her off? What if he pees in her mouth to get her off or something in self defense? Well she could threaten to shoot him still, but I thought it would be hard to get aroused with a gun by her side, fear of death and all, no?
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Old 02-09-2016, 07:58 AM
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Iron, men are simple beings and their brains and genitals rarely communicate.

Unless the guy is so terrified as to be insensible, or so drunk as to be incapable, almost any woman can get almost any man hard regardless of how much he says he loves his wife.
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Old 03-22-2016, 09:46 PM
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sadly, this is no pleasing thought, you ray of comfort. why tower over me? much to your sad concords, something within your genetic make-up that i cannot understand, nor how could anyone, i cannot delete "this sentence” because i have to? no, actually. the layout is first off, first off, your misspelling everything important to an editor. and about the actual material behind the content, one better hope it's a story!!! meaning it best be left research-bound. why not check out formation, and ONLY FORMATION. in relation to your writing, rise to the crescendo, although— find your inner harmony, and how can any of us, (that mention is to the readers,) see one? a personal example, and you would only get so far if you reach a peak, the zenith of your point, an actual orgasm with your happiest physique, of a novelty-take on a book, which is very evident at the right desk... a person who is fat, dumb and happy and all of life centers around them, the people who cheer them up enough to write the actual book. and it's very remarkably crude. so crude in fact, that you could actually consider it "edgy" unless you were the only last editor alive, who is, (in fact) very mean!!! and then it feels gratifying. b/c u have to actually feel competitive, just to write a book. it’s no, not just to delete a book, and yes, ppl send it around. oh, many do have the temperament for it.

spacing isn’t everything and take it as a habit; if you don't believe me, how 'bout checking with an editor. i bet they'd be tickled pink. go for it, hit high spot.
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Old 03-24-2016, 05:47 AM
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Seen Life on Mars? There you have a close encounter which almost ended in the rape of Sam Tyler and worst everyone thought he deserved it.
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Old 03-26-2016, 05:47 PM
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The others have mentioned it a few times - a guy's bits and his brain rarely communicate the same thing. Provide him with the right stimulus and he'll get an erection even if he is bawling.

Now you say you don't want to use drugs - okay. Most of the date rape drugs can be used on a guy. This rapist is a gang member right, her morals are already out the window.

Rohypnol, for example, was used left, right and center in Hong Kong just a couple years ago by gals that'd spike a wealthy looking tourist's drink and take them "back to the hotel for a good time".

Oftentimes the guy was just robbed but rape is always possible - ill spoken of but about a decade ago a couple guys were, ironically, raped by a gang using roofies.


For the record, for those that don't know this sort of stuff by association [some of my family members are in law enforcement, you hear all sorts of things] the internet is an author's best friend ...



Ps. Guys in comas get "boners". The really thing that may dampen it is drunk, other than that unconcious chaps are said to get erections so... it is sometimes called an "involutionary reaction" for a reason... and his morals to his wife really stand no chance.


As for the rape itself, the rapist won't care if he is a monk who is going to melt into a pile of goo afterwards for having broken extreme religious code and having sex. Rape is not about pleasure it is about domination. The rapist has power over the victim to do with as they please.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:52 AM
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Originally Posted by SavannaPeterson View Post
People forget that rape is about power, violence and control, not sexual gratification.
...and with this in mind I suggest you reconsider sodomy. Get a guy hard against his will and bounce on his dick and he may be a bit upset after, but he'll live with it.

If you want to exercise power over a man and humiliate him and make him hate you, insert something painful into his rear. The statistics for men committing suicide after forced sodomy bear this out.
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Old 03-29-2016, 07:53 AM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
If it wasn't for all the romantic stuff: kissing, touching, butt-fucking etc. I could be gay. Seems like an awesome lifestyle.
And you get to dress nice too.
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Old 04-19-2016, 11:15 AM
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Stimulation of the prostate causes an erection despite desire or pain. Heterosexual males who are victims of sexual assault feel tremendous guilt/shame over the fact that they became erect while being anally raped. So anything inserted into the victim's rectum should physiologically result in an erection.
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