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Which of these three scenarios is the best to kick start off plot?

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  #1  
Old 02-27-2016, 11:54 PM
ironpony (Offline)
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Default Which of these three scenarios is the best to kick start off plot?


In my story, they way I have written it so far is that it opens with a cop who is on patrol, in a secluded area, and in the distance, he sees a man being searched for a wire or weapons, possibly, and decides to follow where they are going to see if they are up to no good.

He comes across a 'blood in'. It's a term for when a a gang tests new recruits by getting them to spill the blood of another person, to see if they have what it takes to be a member.

The cops sees that the gang, all in masks and gloves, are going to get the new recruit to harm a tied up hostage woman, who is blindfolded and gagged.

The cop intervenes, saves the hostage, and arrests one of the gang members. The others get away, including the recruit.

The woman tells the police she does not want to press charges, and she doesn't say anything when they want to take her statement. She acts upset and says she does not want to press charges or get involved.

The prosecutor doesn't like this and subpoenas her to testify at the deposition, to see if they have enough to go to trial, with charges on the arrested suspect.

At the depo, being legally forced to answer, she says that there was no kidnapping as the cops' claim. She says that she invited all those guys over to tie her up and gag her, cause it was part of her fantasy role play thing, she is into.

The prosecutor asks for the names of the others, since no crime happened, and she said that she does not know who they are, and that she only knows the defendant. She says that the defendant arranged for all the others to come. The defendant does not have to testify, and chooses not to open his mouth.

Since no proof of a kidnapping or any other crime, can be be ascertained, the judge let's the defendant and her go.

Basically she is part of the gang, and was pretending to be a hostage as part of the blood in, for new recruits. The new recruits do not have to harm her to get in, they just have make like they are going to, to see if they can do it. The reason why she does not say it was role playing to the police right away, is because she does not want the police to ask more questions, so she pretends like she doesn't want to press charges and keeps quiet.

She only makes up lies at the depo, cause she is legally obligated to answer there.

The court does not know this though and takes it for what she says it is, a foolish role playing game on everyone's part, and that the cop was mistaken for thinking it was a kidnapping.

However, in order to make that pay off happen, I have to have the cop discover the fake blood in, by possible coincidence, while on patrol. I am not sure if I should use a coincidence.

Perhaps it would be better if the cop was working undercover instead, trying to bust the gang, and he infiltrates the gang as the new recruit himself. He sees the kidnapped woman in danger, or so it appears, and breaks cover to save her. But then what he thought was a kidnapping turned out to be what seems to be a bunch of guys in masks and gloves, and a woman doing role play.

A third option would be to still have a different character be the new recruit, other than the MC, and the new recruit does not want to harm the hostage, so he calls the police and the MC gets the call to come.

However, this can be tricky, cause I want the new recruit to call the police without the gang noticing and they would be watching him the whole time normally.

What do you think? Out of those three options, what would be the best to start off the plot so it yields in the end pay off, the best way? Thank you for the input. I really appreciate it.

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  #2  
Old 02-28-2016, 12:15 AM
Annamarth (Offline)
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I like the third option, you can use it to create tension and action.
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Old 02-28-2016, 12:28 AM
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Oh okay. How would it create more tension and action than the others though? I thought that the end result would be the same.

Also I haven't thought the third one through as much yet, and it occurred to me, that in order to get the same end result, the police cannot know who's phone tipped them off. So what kind of phone can be used in which the police would not know about it, and why would the crooked cop have this type of phone, if that makes sense?

Would this work for the third option, or did I not think it through enough?
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Old 02-29-2016, 02:35 AM
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Have you seen the TV Series Wired? In the first series the gang members used payphones. In another series, they used burner phones that the gang members threw away. The dustbins and streets were littered with these phones on the streets where the gangs hang out. The phones are only used a few times before it is thrown away. So the street was littered with these phones, and the Police were unaware that the gang members communicated using the phones.




Action: When the new gang member snatches one of these phones and ...

Just some ideas.
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Old 03-01-2016, 08:58 PM
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Okay thanks. I thought of that already, but I cannot think of a logical motivation that the new recruit would have a burner phone since he is new, and not exactly sure what he is in for with the blood in. So I can't think of a reason for why he would have one.
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Old 03-02-2016, 05:53 AM
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Ohh...kay. First off, 'gang recruits' aren't just pulled off the steps of the local church or Sunday School. By the time they are jumped in, they know all about 'burner phones' and would have one because they all do. Most of them are phones aquired when a person is robbed. They use them until the minutes are up or the phone gets shut down. Having one means, in gang parlance, that you're bad enough to have taken it from someone. Even if it was a little old lady doing her shopping (gang members have a different idea of what 'bad' is than real men).

And yes, the police are well aware of 'burner phones'.

Blood-ins aren't usually that elaborate. It's usually just a matter of walking up behind an innocent person on the sidewalk and shooting them in the head. I can't fathom most gang members being able to concentrate long enough to kidnap a woman, blindfold and gag her, take her to a secluded place, hold her there until the newby gets there...they'd just want to fuck her and get it over with.

No one is obligated to say anything in front of a judge, subpoena or not. All you need do is plead the Fifth.

And there is no such thing as a fake blood-in, unless it's a fake gang. One thing they are serious about is harming people to show how badass they are, especially if the victim is unaware of what's going on and unable to defend themselves. And yeah, the recruit would know what he was getting into. They aren't vague about it.

They don't play games.
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Old 03-02-2016, 07:27 AM
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Both the Sharks and the Jets evaded the police by communicating with lengthy songs and dance routines. Pretty smart when you think about it.
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Old 03-02-2016, 05:29 PM
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Oh I was told that you have if you plea the fifth, then prosecutor will just give you immunity, but you still have to tell the truth and talk. But that's okay if you have immunity I guess.

As far as burner phones go, well if the character has one, wouldn't the gang take it away from him so he cannot use it during the blood in, just in case? The gang is already smart enough to search him for a wire, and make sure the blood in is fake, with a fake hostage who is one of the gang members, pretending to be a hostage just in case the guy cannot be trusted.

So wouldn't they take the phone away for this scenario?
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Old 03-03-2016, 01:47 AM
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Originally Posted by ironpony View Post
So wouldn't they take the phone away for this scenario?
ironpony, you are the writer so these choices are really down to you babe. If you want them to take it away, take it away. If you want him to keep it, find a way to let him keep it. Plot holes are not plot holes until the story is written, and you need to be writing, moving it forward, and solutions to problems will come to you and if they don't, then is the time to post a chapter and get some help.

has it occurred to you that the time and effort you have put into asking all these questions, if put into actually writing the story, would probably have seen you close to finishing your first draft?

I understand that you may not feel confident at this stage but as writer you are god. you can make anything happen and you can make your characters jump through hoops. Be that god, make it work and if, when you finish, somebody says "but that will never happen" then is the time to fix it. You cant fix something you haven't broken yet!
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Last edited by wyf; 03-03-2016 at 01:55 AM..
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Old 03-06-2016, 11:27 PM
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Okay thanks, I will write it my best and see.

Originally Posted by Prodigalson View Post
And there is no such thing as a fake blood-in, unless it's a fake gang. One thing they are serious about is harming people to show how badass they are, especially if the victim is unaware of what's going on and unable to defend themselves. And yeah, the recruit would know what he was getting into. They aren't vague about it.

They don't play games.
Well the reason for the fake blood in is, in case the new recruit cannot be trusted or in case he is an undercover. That way of if the blood in, is all a ruse, then the undercover cop cannot bust them for murder, since no murder would have actually occurred and it would have all been fake. Couldn't a gang want to take that type of precaution when it comes to a new recruit? They still have no problem harming people and do it all the time, they just don't want to get a new recruit to kill someone for real, without testing him on a fake blood in first, in case he will not do it, or turn out to be an undercover.

I've seen this in fiction stories before, where a gang will give a new recruit a gun with no bullets in, or there is but the bullets are fake and will not fire, but made to look real. Once the new recruit pulls the trigger on the victim, they then have trust over him. Where as this gang takes it a step further, and uses a fake kidnapped hostage, who is actually one of them, impersonating a helpless hostage. The reason being in case the new recruit is an undercover, and might try to bust them, instead of killing the hostage.

Also sometimes gangs are vague about giving someone a blood in, in fiction. Like in the movie Training Day for example, Denzel Washington and his gang of crooked cops, do not tell his new partner, Ethan Hawke's character, that they giving him a blood in.

They go to do the blood in, and give Hawke a shotgun. Hawke thinks they are just kidding and assumes they are there to arrest the man. He says he won't do it, so Denzel takes the gun from him and does it instead.

But they didn't tell him he was on his way to a blood in. They didn't get to know him over weeks to see if he was good for the gang. They just tried to trick and blackmail him into committing murder and getting his hands bloody.

So could my gang take the same approach that that gang did, when it comes to a blood in?

If not, that's okay, but I do want so that:

1. It's a fake blood in, in case the new recruit cannot be trusted or is an undercover cop.

and 2. He has to get cold feet at the blood in and find a way to alert the authorities.

So is it plausible to write the blood in, so these two things take place in it?

Last edited by ironpony; 03-06-2016 at 11:32 PM..
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