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Old 11-05-2009, 07:08 AM
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Breathe...
Breathe in me your lies
Breathe in me your goodbyes
Speak...
Speak of us together
Speak of lies and come whatever

May you be mine today
May I be yours Friday?
Dream away and let your spirit fly away

Again we cry, again we lie
Will this be the rest of my life?
Don't grow apart from me
Please remember how we used to be
Come now, close your eyes
And make me believe all your lies

Run...
Run 'till you can't feel your feet
Run 'till your eyes and mine meet
Face...
Face the fact that I am here
Face your fears, cross the fronteers

Again we cry, again we lie
Will this be the rest of my life?
Don't grow apart from me
Please remember how we used to be
Come now, close your eyes
And make me believe all your lies

Raise...
Raise above the world you're in
Raise before your strength within
Go...
Go away from all that we do
Go away and take me with you!

May you be mine today
May I be yours Friday?
Dream away and let your spirit fly away

Again we cry, again we lie
Will this be the rest of my life?
Don't grow apart from me
Please remember how we used to be
Come now, close your eyes
And make me believe all your lies


It goes well on acoustic guitar...too bad my voice doesn't live up to the expectations

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Old 11-05-2009, 09:22 AM
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Breathe...
Breathe in the air, Don't be afraid to care...

Sound familiar? It should if you're a Pink Floyd fan, and this is what the song reminded me of.

Anyway, I think this is really good. I like the way its structured too. The only thing I'd change would be to replace the word 'raise' with 'rise' and the line "before your strength within" with 'before your strength gives in'.

Other than that, I think this would make a brilliant song.
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Old 11-05-2009, 09:27 AM
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I will definitely keep that in mind, it actually does sound better! Thank you!

Funny thing, I do listen to Pink Floyd, but I only know a couple of songs. This was not one of them, I am listening to it right now on youtube.
To my defense, my song sounds completely different in my mind
Funny coincidence though!
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