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Buried Money & Other Intellectual Pursuits

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Old 08-07-2018, 09:50 AM
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Default Buried Money & Other Intellectual Pursuits


Out the westward door into the infernal howling of dry wind and gray-slicked Coyote shadows, hunting yesterday's promises like the bargain of leftovers and day old bread. Sharpened, ridiculed, hungry, scedaddling toward the relentless mirage of eternal hope, where heat spills over the horizon, like a drunken Eskimo making his slow journey toward Mecca to die. He kills the dastard leprechauns who stand in his way, the malcontent fairies also, the weak-willed giants who grown fat on the morsels of the weak, and the tyrant saints with their mendicant sycophants. Between gulps of chili sauce and testicle ice-cream, he sniffs in the air of stale lies, the precursory chants designed to drive the masses toward certain intended and unintended consequences. He dodges the cool gazes of statesmen whores, who've commoditized desire to the lowest bidder and depression in her afterthought. The tongue offers singers while the poet malingers.


Last edited by spshane; 08-13-2018 at 02:54 PM..
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Old 08-07-2018, 02:19 PM
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So Nathan is right handed in all matters, is he?

Liked the story.

And how the fuck have 25 people read this and not one made a comment?

Sic 'em, Fido.

Or, as Hunter Thompson used to say to his doberman, "Nixon!".
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Old 08-09-2018, 03:22 PM
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You lose the tempo and character stream of consciousness in the second part. I rather enjoyed that about the first part.

Well written as always
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Old 08-09-2018, 03:56 PM
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Thanks. I'll revisit the second part. I had my doubts it--well the whole piece is a gamble truthfully, but the second felt off to me. I wanted to continue that dog-human mind-melt interaction, but it occurs to me I need more between him and the dog.
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Old 08-09-2018, 04:16 PM
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Yes agreed. That or imbue the stream of conciousness with the dog attribute

You do well with the smell, but hearing as well could be incorporated. The dialogue is good, just the spaces in between need to be filled in with the consciousness to maoe it merge,

Hope that makes sense and maybe helps
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Old 08-09-2018, 04:28 PM
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It makes sense. I agree.
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