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To The Boy Who Couldn’t Love Me (Anorexia)

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  #1  
Old 03-23-2017, 08:17 AM
Atinyinkblot (Offline)
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Default To The Boy Who Couldn’t Love Me (Anorexia)


You told me I couldn’t be loved
My bloated face & unapologetic body
was too much to fit inside a heart

ever since that day, you’ve burrowed into mine

You coaxed me through the first dinners I skipped
my first month
inside the prison of calories--the first look
at bleach bottles and high ledges
that began to beckon me home

soon,
the acidic emptiness of my stomach begins to feel
like pride
And all the gulps of water
feel like shed tears finding their way back home: like
a beast taken by its reins

As my waist thinned
and my skeleton began to emerge
from its closet of skin
I was inching towards beautiful:
Me, crawling with the world, watching
as it turned almost too beautiful
to say no, the pavement
turning hungry for the crunch of my body

The ground would lap at the blood
nerves firing like gunshots inside the body
that couldn’t save itself
but you’d smile then

I hope you’re happy.
You’ve forgotten that I ever was. to you
my captor is but a past
still, I hope you’re happy

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  #2  
Old 03-23-2017, 01:09 PM
Nick Pierce (Offline)
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[QUOTE=Atinyinkblot

-the first look
at bleach bottles and high ledges
that began to beckon me home

[/QUOTE]

This is where you got me.

Gotta eat dinner now.

Will read rest later.


And I think I remember you (on this site) from awhile back.

So how ya been and welcome back.
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Old 03-23-2017, 01:29 PM
Nick Pierce (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Atinyinkblot View Post
You told me I couldn’t be loved
My bloated face & unapologetic body
was too much to fit inside a heart

ever since that day, you’ve burrowed into mine

You coaxed me through the first dinners I skipped
my first month
inside the prison of calories--the first look
at bleach bottles and high ledges
that began to beckon me home

soon,
the acidic emptiness of my stomach begins to feel
like pride
And all the gulps of water
feel like shed tears finding their way back home: like
a beast taken by its reins

As my waist thinned
and my skeleton began to emerge
from its closet of skin
I was inching towards beautiful:
Me, crawling with the world, watching
as it turned almost too beautiful
to say no, the pavement
turning hungry for the crunch of my body

The ground would lap at the blood
nerves firing like gunshots inside the body
that couldn’t save itself
but you’d smile then

I hope you’re happy.
You’ve forgotten that I ever was. to you
my captor is but a past
still, I hope you’re happy


Okay. Finished it.

Stanza four is tight and strong.

Five, six and seven meander a bit.
I've found this to be almost unavoidable in self presentation poetry.


Thanks for posting an enjoyable read.

Is there anything about it (the poem) you wish to modify, evolve or discuss?
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Old 03-24-2017, 07:55 PM
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Atinyinkblot is the best screen name I've ever seen.

I like this poem, but don't get a hard-on, I'm not a poetry guy. It feels honest. Reminds me of some stuff that lessthanlindsay writes. But, without the humor.

Yeah, self-exposition poetry has its limits. Still, I think you rocked this one to its edges.

I hope this is not true. If it is, I hope you found help. I think maybe that's the point of this kind of poetry.
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Old 03-25-2017, 04:42 AM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
Atinyinkblot is the best screen name I've ever seen.

I like this poem, but don't get a hard-on, I'm not a poetry guy. It feels honest. Reminds me of some stuff that lessthanlindsay writes. But, without the humor.

Yeah, self-exposition poetry has its limits. Still, I think you rocked this one to its edges.

I hope this is not true. If it is, I hope you found help. I think maybe that's the point of this kind of poetry.

Always with the "hope it's not true". Pal, these is wimmin writin' this stuff. Pain knows each and every females name. That some of them expose what it does to them is an opportunity to see why we gotta give them some slack and have their back in this alpha male testosterone soaked environment called the world.

Okay, folks, I'm done.
Y'all can have the soapbox back.
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Old 03-25-2017, 04:05 PM
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Eh, maybe I was a wee bit harsh on ya, mate.

I know yuz mean well.

Disregard my left hand comment.

Besides, it is supposed (commenting) to be about the piece.

Aw crap.
Now I gotta give me a time out.

Hope I get to pick the corner this time.
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Old 03-25-2017, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Eh, maybe I was a wee bit harsh on ya, mate.

I know yuz mean well.

Disregard my left hand comment.

Besides, it is supposed (commenting) to be about the piece.

Aw crap.
Now I gotta give me a time out.

Hope I get to pick the corner this time.


You'd have to try a lot harder the hurt my feelings than that. I took no offense.
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Old 03-25-2017, 05:11 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
You'd have to try a lot harder the hurt my feelings than that. I took no offense.

Just practicing my wuss posture.

Looks like I got that down.


Now back to the firing line.
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Old 03-25-2017, 05:16 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Just practicing my wuss posture.

Looks like I got that down.


Now back to the firing line.

And have you read any of the blot's early stuff?
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Old 03-25-2017, 06:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Just practicing my wuss posture.



Looks like I got that down.





Now back to the firing line.


En garde!
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Old 03-25-2017, 06:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
And have you read any of the blot's early stuff?


I don't remember the work, only the name. I have a vague recollection that this new one has made great strides.
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Old 03-25-2017, 07:29 PM
Nick Pierce (Offline)
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
I don't remember the work, only the name. I have a vague recollection that this new one has made great strides.

Lost in the Wind

I done drug it up and plopped it into today's Poetry.
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