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Cinquain - Despair

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  #1  
Old 03-12-2013, 02:26 AM
nhassan (Offline)
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Default Cinquain - Despair


Despair
The hunt
For purpose, drive,
Passion... lonely, shady...
My light ran out, I have fallen
Face down.

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Old 03-12-2013, 03:56 AM
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Not my cup of tea but it seems competent enough. The last line, as a synonymic summing-up of the title, is excellent.

Not too sure how L2 works as a description of the title though.

Can I suggest that perhaps a little assonance and a smidge of alliteration would bring a greater unification to the piece.

As I said, these forms aren’t for me, but good work.


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Old 03-13-2013, 04:06 AM
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Originally Posted by iDrew View Post
Not too sure how L2 works as a description of the title though.

Can I suggest that perhaps a little assonance and a smidge of alliteration would bring a greater unification to the piece.
Thank you, I will give it a try.
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