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Everybody Knows

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Old 11-25-2017, 12:43 AM
Elenita (Offline)
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Everybody knows that if you eat ice cream too fast it makes your head hurt. Thatís what I told Mommy because she always eats it so quickly. She goes through a whole bucket of chocolate ice cream in the time it takes for me to dress just one of my dolls, Patsy. Patsy doesnít like to stay still so itís hard for me to button her coat. I usually have to ask Daddy to help me because Mommy always says she has a headache. Itís because of the ice cream.

Sometimes when Mommyís sleeping on the couch Daddy takes me to the beach. He calls it our ďsummer adventure.Ē And he puts this sticky white cream on me so the sun doesnít make me all red. I donít like that cream, itís too gooey, and I always wriggle away when he tries to rub it on my arm. I like to run away and have Daddy chase after me. The water follows me, in big splashes. And Daddy is laughing behind me, and I know Iím so fast he can never catch me. But today I turn around to see if he was close behind, and I see him stopped, falling down in the sand. When I run over to him heís saying he canít stand, his head hurts too much. He didnít eat any ice cream, though, so I donít know why. Then he starts to fall asleep, like Mommy always does, but he didnít catch me and I want him to chase me. So I yell at him to wake up, and then some other people come and they also start yelling at him. I think if we all yell loud enough heís gonna hear us.

Everybody knows that trees lose their leaves in the fall. Thatís why I made a bunch of paper leaves to glue on the window of Daddyís new room so that he will think that itís still summer when we would go to the beach and he would chase me. Since he fell down that day he doesnít chase me anymore, he has to stay in bed in this big white room that smells sad and has some other sad people in it. Only Daddy is happy in there, he always smiles when he sees me and gives me a thumbs-up when I tape the leaves on the window. Mommy doesnít seem to like Daddy being there, when she brings me to see him it always makes her eyes all red and her voice squeaky. Maybe sheís also sad about the leaves falling off the trees. I was a little bit sad too but then I just made my own. In lots of different colors, but mostly in red and green, Daddyís favorites. I tried to tape them on Mommyís window but she ripped them off and threw them on the ground.

I forgot. Her favorite colors are pink and purple. So I went back to color some new ones, but when I went to her room I heard her shouting. I looked inside but there was no one there. Then she opened the window and shouted some more, even louder. She must have been really angry at the tree. But it wasnít the treeís fault. The wind just grabbed away all itís leaves.

Everybody knows that the sun melts the snowman in the morning. Thatís why I build a new one every night in the garden. He stands there and watches for Daddy to come home. Mommy said he wonít come home any more because heís sick and the people in the big white room know how to take care of him. I told her I know to take care of Daddy, too, I know where he keeps his favorite cup for chocolate milk, but she said Daddy had a special kind of sick that only big people can take care of. So I asked why she didnít take care of him and then she started shouting again so I went outside to ask Mr. Snowman. Mr. Snowman didnít know either so next time I went to see Daddy I asked him. And Daddy told me that his sick is so special only the people in the white room know how to take care of him. The sick is so special it even took away Daddyís hair! So I brought some of Patsyís hair for Daddy to try on but it didnít fit. The sick also makes Daddy have to eat a lot of yucky medicine and take a lot of naps, even more naps than I had when I had a tummy bug. One time when I came to see him he was sleeping so I left Patsy there with him to watch him. And later Patsy told me that when Daddy woke up he smiled at her, he was so happy to see her! See, Mommy isnít ever happy to see Patsy, she wonít let her eat breakfast with me, and she doesnít help me with her coat. Mommy just sleeps on the couch and then wakes up and then shouts sometimes too. So even though Daddyís room is sad I like it there, because Daddy and I are happy there.

Daddy said that the sick was getting a little too special, and it might take him away on a trip for awhile. I donít know how long he might go away for, but I asked the sick to wait until after Christmas, because I want Daddy to see my melting snowman. I asked very nicely, I said ďpleaseĒ and ďthank youĒ afterwards. Mommy said that this year we werenít going to have Christmas presents because the sick took them all. So I made my own presents, I made three snowman in the garden, and they would all watch for Daddy coming home.
The next day when I went to play with the melty snowmen I saw a big car stopping in front of the house. And Daddy came out of the car! He was sitting in this chair with rolling wheels, and I ran over and jumped on his lap! He told me we were going on a ďwinter adventureĒ and then he picked up some snow and rubbed it on my nose. And I wiggled away and ran through the snow, and Daddy rolled his chair after me. I didnít run very fast this time, I let Daddy catch me, and he laughed so loud when he hugged me.

Everybody knows pink flowers grow up in spring. Thatís why I sit in the garden waiting for them to come out. Also Daddy likes to be in the garden too. He still sits in the rolling chair and sometimes he even falls asleep in that chair! He has to eat many different pills, all different colors in different bottles. I wanted to try them but he said they were only for big people. I think they might taste good, better than what Mommy cooks. I donít like beans, but Mommy said the sick took all the rest of our food. I really donít like the sick any more, even if it let Daddy come home. I think Daddy was more happy in the white room, because Mommy is always yelling at him in his room, and she cries a lot there too. And then I canít go in and play with Patsy and Daddy. Also Daddy sometimes naps all day now. And when I want to jump on his lap he tells me no because it makes his legs hurt. So instead he lets me sit next to him and turn the pages of the storybook. We have to read quietly because otherwise Mommy will hear and come shout and push me out of the room.

The pink flowers finally growed, and some red ones too. I picked the red ones for Daddy but the door to his room was closed and I couldnít reach the handle so I had to ask Mommy. She made a bad face but she helped me open the door, and she walked in real quiet, so I followed real quiet, too. Suddenly Mommy started screaming, super super loud screaming, it made my heart move and I dropped the flowers to cover my ears. She ran to the bed and kept screaming at Daddy but I couldnít see him, there were just all these empty bottles lying around, where Daddy used to keep his colorful pills. I really wanted to give him the flowers so I tried to push Mommy away and she grabbed me and threw me. Very hard, I think I flew across the room and my head hit the ground. Everything went spinny fast, and then I opened my eyes and saw Mommy tearing up the flowers, red, pretty red flying everywhere, and I wanted her to stop but my head hurt too bad, I couldnít move. I screamed for Daddy to help me and then I saw him lying on the bed. He didnít move even when I shouted with all my strength so he must have been sleeping very well. Later some people came and took him away because it was too loud for him to sleep any more, Mommy was crying and screaming too loud.

Then everybody got quiet for a long time. Mommy didnít shout anymore. She just sat in her bed or slept in her bed and she would drink a lot in bed. I tried to ask her when Daddy was coming home but she always hit me away with her hand. I asked Patsy but she didnít know either. And Mommy forgot to make me breakfast many times, and at first I got very hungry but then I learned how to do it myself. I remembered what Daddy would do, how he would move the knife over the peanut butter again and again so it would cover the bread. And then I broke the jam on the floor. I know Daddy said to never eat food from the floor but I ate it from the top so it wasnít dirty. Then I put three books onto of my chair to reach the chocolate milk, but the books slided out and I fell on my hand. It hurt really bad and Daddy wasnít there to kiss it better. I went to Mommy but she didnít see me, even though I stood next to her bed and cried a lot. So I had to kiss it myself but it didnít make it better.

Sometimes when I make breakfast my head feels funny. And sometimes I get tired when I want to play, so I take a nap instead. And then when I wake up the room looks all spinny. Yesterday I think I heard a bell ringing, ding ding ding, so I opened the door but there was no one there. I thought maybe Daddy was going to come back, and he could make my head feel better because it hurts sometimes. Also I need him to help me with Patsy coat. I canít button it but I didnít want her to catch a cold so I tied it up with a ribbon. It doesnít look good though.

Today thereís no more bread. Mommy doesnít eat bread, she just comes home with boxes and boxes of drink. Daddy said never to cross the street by myself but Mommy is sleeping and my tummy is shouting, it is so hungry. So I put on my shoes and put on Patsyís shoes, too, but then my head starts to feel funny again. The room starts to spin again, really really fast and I canít see anything. I feel like taking a nap now but I need to go get bread first.


My head gets really heavy so I lay down first, on the floor. The floor is sticky and cold. I want Daddy to be here. I want to go outside and look for him. But my eyes are falling closed so I will take a nap first. Just a little nap, and when I wake up I will go get bread and look for Dadd-

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Old 01-10-2018, 04:30 PM
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I thoroughly enjoyed this piece, you captured the age level of the narrator perfectly. That being said, the POV may be a bit strained for most people to read. I personally enjoy this POV, but maybe altering it could help a lot, at least for public view. Have you seen the movie Tide Lands? That's what this makes me think of. POV is powerful, but not open enough for just any reader. Avoid the naive child in a bad circumstance cliche, and maybe explore the resilience of the child in said circumstance, for public view.
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