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Dear Tree

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Old 12-12-2017, 08:26 AM
Luciaphile (Offline)
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Default Dear Tree


Here is a poem I jotted down a few months ago when I was stuck in a rehab hospital recovering from fractured back problems. Outside was the tree, my friend. ..I think I might need to find another word for Wa-Wa, what do you think?


Dear Tree

Green leaves, green tree
Let me grow up your branches and twigs
Lead me into the sky, let me fly;
Let me swoop and tumble and happy cry;
Let me be me, I mean me --
Not this crippled old root you see,
Not this body of broken parts;
Let me sing like the lark --
How they sing, “We are we!”
Let me sing, not “Ouch-ouch or “Wa-wa;”
But “Let me be me, Debbie, Debbie!”
Sing, “Let me be free -- free.”

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Old 12-12-2017, 08:31 AM
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Default absolutely

The end line could be:

"Sing, "Let me be absolutely - free!"
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Old 12-12-2017, 12:47 PM
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Mmmmmm...It's awfully powerful as is. I don't think absolutely would do anything for it. Forever on the other hand might. The phrase Forever Free has some WOW power to it.

I'd also be tempted to say you should zotz up the title a bit, because overall it is so powerful.
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Old 12-13-2017, 03:26 PM
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I like these lines;

Let me be me, I mean me --
Not this crippled old root you see,
Not this body of broken parts;

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Old 12-14-2017, 07:05 AM
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Originally Posted by kev View Post
I like these lines;

Let me be me, I mean me --
Not this crippled old root you see,
Not this body of broken parts;

Thanks
Thanks Kev, I just recently read your poem about trees and liked it and even saw some comparisons between them.
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