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Scarlet Moon

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Old 01-02-2010, 10:49 AM
AdamMMA (Offline)
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This is an excerpt from a play I wrote for Open University course am currently doing.
Thoughts and Opinions welcomed.


Hills on the far side of island. Late Morning.Wind can be heard blowing strongly. Colin enters with wolf cub wrapped in blanket and looks around. After a few moments he cautiously walks over to cave entrance and places cub on ground. Wolf enters and watches quietly as he does so, remains silent until Colin turns and notices him.
WOLF : “Once again you show uncharacteristic courage for a human in coming here alone, if so much time had not past it might almost be considered a habit”.
COLIN: “How long have you been following me?”
WOLF: “Ever since you left the farm, I must confess it was curiosity on my part to stay just out of sight all the way here. You did not seriously think that sneaking out of the back door would fool me did you?”
COLIN: “I have returned your son; he should not have been taken from you”.

Wolf takes several steps forward and momentarily bares teeth, Colin reacts with a single step back.

WOLF: “Taken from me? A most politic choice of phrase I think given that your nephew stole him”.
COLIN: “I apologise for him, he is impetuous and rarely takes the time to consider the consequences his actions may have”.

Wolf hesitates while he considers Colin’s words and then slowly sits down.
PAUSE.

WOLF: “As I remember there once was a time when the same thing could almost be said of you”.
COLIN: “You were injured, your leg was broken. If I hadn’t come across you then you could quite easily have died”.
WOLF: “Yet you risked your own life in order to save mine; it would seem that the young will always find a way to prove a handful to their parents”.

PAUSE
Wolf rises to his feet again and stares sharply at Colin.

WOLF: “Surely you are not trying to use the events of that day as a bargaining tool for your nephew?”
COLIN: “I think you know I would never do so. I need not, after what he witnessed this night he will not pass this way again”.

PAUSE

WOLF: “Your nephew, he means much to you?"
COLIN: “Yes, as much as your own son means to you”.

PAUSE

WOLF: “For all that it is worth I regret the damage I wrought upon your property this night”.
COLIN: “There is no damage so great that can’t be repaired with time”.

PAUSE
Wolf turns away to face direction in which Colin first entered.

WOLF: “The trees have for so long been the boundary which have kept our families apart. I would have them do so again, much as I wish it otherwise it is best this way”.
COLIN: “I fear you are right”.

PAUSE
Wolf turns back to look at Colin.

WOLF: “Why did you come here to this island?”
COLIN: “I used to live on the coast with my wife in a farm much like the one we live in now. Over the edge of the horizon, just out of sight, was a city. It was not a place I had ever visited or had any intention of doing so. One morning I rose and looked out over the skyline and for the first time part of the city was in plain sight and so we came here. One day the city will grow to encompass the ground where my old farm once stood and I think there will come a time when they will come here with their machines and their technology. I will not be here to greet them”.
WOLF: “There are not enough like you in this world I fear”.

PAUSE

COLIN: “How long have you lived on this island?”
WOLF: “I have long since lost count of the days which have passed. I was brought here by my parents when I was younger than my son is now. Perhaps it was fate but it was not one of they chose. I learned a long time ago that when the first instinct of the individual is to fear you they will seek to hunt and kill you. My son and I are the last of our kind and so I watch for those who come with weapons and torches of fire. When we are both dead our race will be forgotten”.
COLIN: “We will not forget you”.
WOLF: “Perhaps it will be better if you did, if word of us was to get out hunters would come looking for glory. Ultimately they would receive what they came for but I am no ordinary wolf and the price they would pay would be high”.
COLIN: “It grieves me to admit that you are right. Very well, your presence on this island shall remain a secret”.
WOLF: “Thank you”.

PAUSE

COLIN: “What will you do now?”
WOLF: “I will continue to do what I have always done, whatever I have to do in order to provide for my son and myself. No more, no less”.

Colin acknowledges words of Wolf with a single nod of head and turns to leave. After a couple of steps he turns back.

COLIN: “Goodbye my friend, I wish you well in whatever your future brings”.

Wolf looks on silently as Colin walks to edge of stage.
Just before he departs Colin spares a final glance back at Wolf and holds his gaze for a moment before he vanishes from sight. Once he has gone Wolf moves over to blanket and nuzzles cub.


Last edited by AdamMMA; 01-02-2010 at 11:05 AM..
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  #2  
Old 01-09-2010, 10:36 PM
GabriellaStalkr (Offline)
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Your use of dialogue here is wonderful. I've always wanted to write plays or films but I never could figure out any story I wanted to portray that way. In this short script you reveal so much about the characters and setting, it's really quite impressive. I have a little trouble picturing the positions and expressions of the characters sometimes, but perhaps that's just me - I can't really see any room for more stage direction.

I have to say my favorite part of this is Colin's line about being able to see the city clearly from his farm, simply because it says so much about construction and destruction, and I dig that. If you post more of this play I will definitely make sure to check it out.
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Old 01-19-2010, 05:55 PM
impisus (Offline)
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To begin this seems like it would be an interesting play in its entirety.

I had some issues with the beginning a bit. Mainly the part where the wolf mentions the nephew taking the cub and the man helping the wolf earlier on. I would much rather see these things than be told them. I'm assuming we did see these earlier and you're just re-telling. But either way I personally think it might have been better if the wolf mentions that Colin helped it earlier, rather than explain how Colin helped. Also I view the wolf not knowing the relation between Colin and his nephew. I'd think the wolf would assume the nephew was Colin's son, but then again I don't know what happened in full before this point.
The main point Is I think its better to see what happens rather than be told. I also don't think ya need to re-explain what already happened, assuming you showed it already.

I'm interested in what the rest was like. I'm finding it hard to really give good feedback with just this scene.
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:04 AM
AdamMMA (Offline)
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Thanks for the feedback.

I can see what you're saying about needing to read more to review properly etc and will probably return to this in the near future. In the meantime and pleased to note (assuming I understand you correctly lol) that your interest was peaked by what was there...

Adam
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