90: The First of the Fear Circle
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90: The First of the Fear Circle
06-15-2007, 04:22 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90: The First of the Fear Circle
Fourteen year old Jason Mcguire has a normal life.He a crush who likes him back,supportive friends, and a pair of (overprotective) parents that care for him.But his life turns upside down,when a 'shadow' stalks him and his friends.Can Jason escape this nightmarish situation before it gets bloody?
A lot of people might think of this as just a really confusing story, but it's more than that.Just read the next two scripts ( I intend to make a trilogy), you'll find out later that EVERYTHING in 90 will make sense, but for now, I'll keep you guys open.
90 has a site! Visit http://www.geocities.com/bt_zneb_81/90-FearCircle.html
Last edited by btzneb; 06-25-2007 at 03:16 AM..
Reason: Post Important
06-15-2007, 04:30 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90 Chapter 1-3
ACT ONE- GUARDS OF THE WHACKHOUSE
We open to a silent night at the town of Kinley.Kinley was usually a quiet town because of its population of stuffy and over-religious people.Down the neighborhood,we observe a cute brown bunny,with a half-eaten carrot on its mouth, hopping across the road.Then,out of nowhere,BAM! And a sickening SQUISH.The once cute,or once whole, bunny finds its body squished and carried by the tires of a Mustang,and its blood smeared all over the road.
We focus to the driver of the Mustang.A pale looking man with spiky blue hair and teeth full of tobacco stains.His name is Ronnie.One of the few security guards of the only famous building of Kinley...its mental facility,or as the townspeople called it...the Whackhouse.
Ronnie is on his way to the facility,having a heated conversation with his roommate on the cellphone.
Ronnie (angrily): I swear,Raey, if you don’t do the fucking dishes till I get back,I’ll stuff a kitchen knife in your asshole!
Raey (angrily): Then try it,fuckbag!You don’t pay the fucking rent!You don’t cook your own fucking food!You don’t even clean the fucking house!All you do here is bang whores in the living room!
Ronnie: One more insult,bitch,and I’ll slit your throat!
We then see an outline of a medium-sized building with the sign ‘Kinley Mental Facility’,perched on the top of the building,blinking on and off.But it wasn’t the building that was impressive,nor if the building is even impressive-looking,but its metal gates.The metal gates were so tall that it was about three-stories high.Next to the gates was a tiny guardhouse,locked and the loud noises of a TV can be heard from inside.
Raey:That’s it!You are fucking moving out of this house!You can pick up those tattered rags of clothes you wear,down the fucking road!(line’s dead)
Ronnie:Raey!Raey!(puts down cell)
Ronnie:You’re asking for it,bitch.I’ll slit your throat the moment I get back.Oh shit!
Ronnie almost hits the metal gates of the facility.He stops the car just in time.
Ronnie:Woah,shit.That could have fucking scratch the car.
He honks the car.Nobody comes out of the guardhouse.He honks again,but still,nobody comes out.
Ronnie (shouting): Damn it,old man!Move your ass!
Finally, the door clicks open, and a fat,old man,named Stan, steps out of the house.He’s wearing a rather annoying smile.He pulls out a flashlight from his pocket and clicks it open.He points the light to the Mustang and examines the car.
Ronnie (in a fake polite voice):Hi,Sir Stan!Would you mind to open the fucking gate?
Stan:Hmm....I’m not sure about that,Ron-Ron.You’re forty-five minutes late.
Ronnie: Do I really give a shit?
Stan:Oooh,that’s not nice,Ron-Ron.You see that’s one of the five reasons why I’m seriously doubting to open this gate,Ron-Ron.
One (raises index finger):I don’t like you.
Two (raises middle finger):You’re always late for work.
Three (raises ring finger):You have a nasty temper.
Four (raises pinky finger):You’re not attractive.
And five (raises thumb):You’re not very nice to my niece,Raey.Why,she just advised me yesterday to put laxatives in your midnight snack.
Ronnie (sarcastically):Aw,that’s really nice of her.Like niece,like fat uncle.Now would you open the fucking gates?
Stan:I’m afraid you haven’t let me finish what I’ve just told you,Ron-Ron.You see,if you are following the Five things I’ve just told you,especially number one,there is always a punishment.
Ronnie (angrily):Would you stop saying shit and open the fucking gates!?
Stan (smiles):Look at your tires,Ron-Ron.
Ronnie,annoyed,puts out his head on the car windows and looks at his back tires.There they were,covered with blood and guts.The flattened rabbit was torn up so badly,that he looked like a dirty cleaning towel.
Ronnie: Ugh!My tires!
Stan (smiles):What is that?A parakeet or a squirrel?(laughs)
Ronnie:Har-di-har-har.Now,open the fucking gates!
Stan (chuckles):You always have a great sense of humor,Ron-Ron.
Stan opens the gates and stands aside the guardhouse, still smiling.Ronnie’s Mustang enters the gate.
Stan: Till next time,Ron-Ron!
Ronnie puts him arm out of the window, and in the distance, gives Stan the finger.
Ronnie (shouting):I’ll keep good care of Raey,Stan!Wait till you see her in the mornin’!
Ronnie parks the car and turns off the engine.As he’s about to go out...
Ronnie:Oh shit!Almost forgot my weed!(grabs a bag full of weed on the passenger’seat).
There you are!(kisses bag)Hiding from Ronnie,are you?(stuffs bag in pocket)
Ronnie walks to the building and climbs the steps to the front entrance,which is locked.He then pulls out a key from his pocket and puts the key in the lock.He turns the lock and hears a click!He opens the door.A horrible smell reached his nose.
Ronnie (covers his nose): Ugh!What the fuck is that smell!?
Ronnie tries to ignore the smell and goes inside.He was in a shabby,dark lobby.There was a bunch of staircases next to the desk.Ronnie goes inside a door,which is next to the entrance doors,labled ‘STAFF LOUNGE’.
The staff lounge was no better than the front desk.It was still shabby and dark.There were only two very dimly lit lamps in the room.There’s a rather large plastic table,and four chairs surrounding it.There’s an old-looking TV on the right,and a dusty blue couch facing the TV.
Ronnie pulls out his bag of weed and sits down.He dumps the weed on the table,and lights it.He makes a swooning,relieved sigh.
Ronnie:Haha.This is the shit,right here.
He then hears a loud BAM! He assumes that its coming from outside the door.
Ronnie (whispers):Shit,Mr. Gabole!
Without thinking,he stuffs the burning weed in his pocket.When he walks to the door,he feels his testicles burning.
Ronnie: MY BALLS!
He stuffs out the weed from his pocket and throws it away.He then proceeds to open the door.
Ronnie (politely): Oh,hey Mr.Gabo-
There was no one there.
Ronnie: Mr.Gabole?Anyone out here?
Ronnie (turns away): Guess fucking not.
As Ronnie turns away,something touches his shoulder tightly.He screams and turns back.He then sees a big,dark man laughing.His name’s Ernie,also a nightguard in the facility.
Ronnie (angrily): Ernie, you fucking shithead!
Ernie (laughing): Haha!You should had heard your scream!Sounded like fucking Julie Andrews!Haha!
Ronnie (angrily): Haha.You’re a fucking riot.
Ernie:Aw,is the tiny white boy scared of the big dark man?
Ronnie: Oh,shut up.I thought you were Gabole.
Ernie: Gabole?He’s still probably at the fag bar right now.
Once again,the bad smell reached Ronnie’s nose.
Ronnie (covers nose):Ugh!What the fuck is that!?
Ernie:That?Oh,you remember how we found Gabole’s stash two days ago,right?Can full of coke?
Ernie:Well, I’ve been doing some stuff.
Ronnie: What did you do to the coke,fuckbag?
Ernie:I mixed it with eggs and yogurt.
Ronnie (rubs chin): You mixed coke with poultry?Hmmm...never done that before We then hear a continous BAM!
Ronnie: Who’s that?
Ernie: Probably just the whack jobs.Bet you it’s Cell 7 again.
Ronnie: No need for bets,Ern.I know it’s the fuckjob.
Ernie: God,I just want to beat the shit out of the fuck
Ronnie: But we always beat the shit out of him
Ernie: But this time,permanently.
Ronnie (smiles):Haha.I like the way you think.
Ernie sees the burned weed on the ground.He picks it up and smells it.
Ernie:This your weed?
Ronnie (nods): And thanks to you,my balls are fried because of that thing
Ernie (grins): You mean,you put the weed in your pocket
Ronnie (nods):Yes,and don’t laugh,fuckjob.
Ernie (laughs):How fucking stupid can you get?
Ronnie:Har-di-har.Anyway,mind to share the coke?
Ernie: Sure,as long as you don’t put it in your pocket.Haha!
The BAM! Sounds grow louder.
Ronnie:Ugh!I can’t stand that fuck!That’s it,I’m killing the fuck
Ernie (holds Ronnie back): No.Let me do it.You get the coke.I’ll be back in five minutes.
Ronnie: Wait!Forgot this! (hands Ernie a sharp kitchen knife)
Ernie: Thanks,white boy.You’re not as a pussy as I thought you were.
Ernie exits the staff lounge and goes up to the third floor.The third floor had an aura of emptiness,though through the door facing the staircase,is full of crazy whackjobs.Ernie goes inside the door.It was so dimly lit,that even if the lights were out,it didn’t make a difference.All the doors,from Cell 1 to Cell 13, were all metal.There was a metal hatch on the doors,sizable for food plates to be inserted.
The BAM! Grew nearer and nearer as Ernie walked through the hall.Cell 4..Cell 5..Cell 6...
Ernie: Cell fucking 7.Alright,kid.It’s time to fucking pay.
Ernie holds the knife tightly and unlocks the door.He goes inside the room.It was so dark,that Ernie couldn’t make out anything.
Ernie: Kid!Where the fuck are you!?
Behind the doors,the patient comes out of the darkness and with the metal bar clutched tightly on his hands,he pushes the bar through Ernie’s head. Blood comes out of Ernie’s skull.He gasps in pain,and almost instantly,he falls to the floor,dead.
Meanwhile, Ronnie’s in the facility kitchen,pouring the mixed cocaine in a bowl.He then takes a sip from the bowl.He gives a swooning expression.
Ronnie: Wow.I gotta make me one of these.
Carrying the bowl, Ronnie goes out of the kitchen and goes to the main lobby.
Ronnie (shouts): Yo,Ern!It’s ready!
No answer.But there was definitely something strange.
Ronnie: Fuck,this gives me the creeps.
Ronnie goes inside the staff lounge and sits on the couch.
Ronnie: Screw it, black man.I’m getting this alone.
He then puts his head on the bowl and slurps on the coke.
Ronnie (muffled): Oh yeah.That’s the stuff!
The patient,knife readily clutched on his right hand, creeps behind Ronnie.Ronnie feels the patient getting nearer and nearer to him.As he’s about to pull out his head from the bowl,THUD! Ronnie’s head rolls down from his neck, and drops into the bowl. Blood oozes out the head, and mixes with the yellowish coke.
The patient, grinning in revenge, runs out of the main entrance, and escapes.
ACT TWO- TEACHER'S ADVICE
We cut to November.We fous to another town, Lakewater.It’s bigger than Kinley, and has more drug dealers.
We go to the Lakewater Middle & High School, and we go inside a classroom, where we find a tall, geeky looking teacher named Mr.Zamora, teaching Social Studies to a class full of bored students.We then see Jason Mcguire, a fourteen year old boy with short wavy brown hair, with a dazed look on his face.He was obviously day dreaming. Nobody in the class listens to Mr. Zamora, as he lectured them about the history of crimes of the town.
Mr. Zamora: Alright, class.We now focus to one of the town’s most grisly massacres, the Beasley massacre. Sometime in the 70’s, the last of the most greedy,much-hated,but very rich,Beasley family, moved in the somewhere in Lakewater. She moved in a house that was so grand, so beautiful, that it cost half of the Beasley fortune. She hired three maids from the town.At first, the maids were very keen to work for Madam Beasley for they knew she had large sums of money, and they thought that she would pay them grandly. Oh,how they were wrong. Madam Beasley gave them such a small salary that they could only afford a short piece of bread. But that wasn’t the only cruelty they had suffered inside the Beasley house. Madam Beasley also tortures them, and how her tortures to the maids were ghastly. Rape,drowning,stabbing, those were the examples of cruelty Madam Beasley gave them. But one day, she payed for her sins. Rita, one of the three maids, had her left eye torn out by Madam Beasley. So full of rage and revenge, she and the other two maids devised a plan to torture and kill Madam Beasley.Later that night, they took their revenge. While Madam Beasley was sleeping in her grand bedroom, they tied her up and cut off her eyes, nose and lips,hands and feet, so she would look like a helpless leech. Then, they slowly ate her bit by bit, until Madam Beasley suffered an unbearably painful death. After that, the three maids escaped and was never heard from again. Nobody knows what happened to them. To this day,the Beasley massacre is still left unsolved.
The bell rings. The class, without warning, stampedes out of the room, hauling their asses to the canteen.
Mr. Zamora (shouts through the stampede): All right,you’re free to go!Oh, and Mr. Mcguire,may I talk to you on my desk?
Jason, who was just about to go out of the room, looked a bit disappointed.
Mr. Zamora: Just for a quick minute.
Jason (apprehensively): Oh, ok.
Mr. Zamora waits until the classroom is empty, and closes the door. Jason sits on the front seat, next to the desk.
Mr. Zamora (sits down on the desk): Mr.Mcguire, I’m sorry to inform you that your grades are dropping.
Mr. Zamora: As you know, Mr.Mcguire, your grades last year and last semester were pleasingly good.But since the start of the new semester, you’ve had overdue reports and you’re missing your assignments.
Mr. Zamora: No, don’t interrupt until I’m finished. Now,I’m not just asking you this as your teacher, but also a friend. Is there something disturbing your studies?
Jason: Uh,nothing, Mr.Zamora. Nothing at all.
Mr.Zamora (eyeing Jason closely): Hmm.Alright.But can you be honest with this?Because I promise that I will not tell anybody.Are you using drugs?
Jason:What!?No!Of course not.
Mr.Zamora:Hmm...alright.But if there is something troubling you, any trouble at all, I’ll be here to help you out, all right?
Jason: Yes, thanks
Mr.Zamora: And please for God’s sake,Mr. Mcguire, please keep up with your studies.
Jason: Yes, Mr.Zamora.
Mr. Zamora: Very well.You may go.
Jason:Okay.Thanks for the...help,Mr.Zamora. (leaves)
Jason goes to the canteen, where he finds it full.All the tables were filled with the usual stereotypes: Jocks,cheerleaders,nerds,rich kids,emos, the whole enchilada. Jason looked at the cheerleaders table, where he saw Marnie Lee,a girl with short, graceful, black hair, looking right at him.Jason avoided her eyes, and tried to find his friends’ table. He then heard his cell ringing. He takes out of his pocket, and he sees that he has ‘1 new message’.
Cell:"Fr: Kevin Fisher.Dude, we’re behind the emo table’.
Jason grins and looks at the table behind the emos where he found his two friends, Kevin Fisher, a scrawny-looking kid and Summer Adams, an emo girl, looking at him, grinning. Jason makes his way to the table.
Jason (sits down): Thanks for the heads up,Kev.
Kevin: No problem.
Summer: How come you got held up? Finally got screwed?
Jason (grins): I wish. I got an ‘advice’ by Zamora
Summer: Oh, so you finally admit your sexual fetishes of getting gang-banged by the teachers.
Jason playfully mouths ‘fuck you’.The three chuckles.
Kevin: No,honestly dude.How come you got told off?
Jason: I didn’t really got told off. Zamora said that I haven’t been ‘serious’ with my bullshit studies and he thought I was into drugs, or something like that.
Kevin: Shit, that bastard is all about ‘drugs,drugs,drugs’!
Summer:Eh?Why the hell you said that?
Kevin: Last week, someone stuffed used needles in my locker.And with my luck, Zamora saw the fucking things!Told me off for hours and threatened to call my parents if I don’t stop it!
Jason:Well...were you into LSD?
Kevin: Hell no!Some fuckjob must’ve did it.
Jason looks at Summer, who was trying not to look guilty.He then gazes at Marnie, who wasn’t looking at him anymore. Summer, trying to change the subject, notices this.
Summer: Why don’t you just go for it?
Kevin: Summer’s right.Go..for..it.Come on, you’ve been like this since Marnie moved back to town last month.You just stare at her and looks at the other way when she stares back at you. Just make your fucking move,man.You weren’t like this when you two were still friends in preschool.
Summer: Or the only reason for Jason’s staring problem is a serious case in the brain.
Jason: Excuse me, but how the hell did you remember this?
Kevin: Oh,come on dude. You don’t have to pretend you never knew her before.All of us in class called you two W.T.G.L.
Jason: What the fuck does that mean?
Kevin (chuckling): Waiting to get laid.
Jason: Wait a minute.So that’s what it stands for!You creat-
Summer: Anyway, before you let your brain be invaded by Mr. Jackass over here,I would just like to say that girls won’t bite you, unless she’s into fetish sex or something. If you want to tell something to her, then tell her.
Kevin (snorts): Easy for you to say, Dr.Phil
Summer: Say fucking what?
Kevin: Look at the jocks table
The three did so, and saw Denzel Merriman, a jock with a crew-cut gazing at Summer. When he saw the three of them staring at him back, he began concentrating on his food.
Kevin: If you’re such an expert of these...love advices.Why won’t you let Denzel go for it with you?
Summer (scandalized): Ugh.I do not like that buffoon,nor will I want his shit asking me out!
Kevin: Ouch.That’s a bit harsh
Jason: But wait. Didn’t I see you two making-out in the comfort room when we were 12?
Summer:Uh...you just spotted the wrong girl.
Jason: The wrong girl who had once the same long wavy brown hair and had a butterfly clipped on her hair like yours once has?
Summer: You two aren’t making any sense.
Just then, an emo girl with spiky violet hair went to the table and whispered something in Summer’s ear. Summer stands up, and holds her tray.
Summer: Sorry,dipshits.I’m think I’m going to seat on the sensible table
With the emo girl, Summer leaves the table and joins the emo table.
Kevin: More like the suicidal table
Jason: She’s guilty.
The principal’s voice booms out of the wall speakers.
Principal Wexell: Good noon to everyone. I hope all of you are eating well to ensure attentiveness in your schoolwork.
Jason and Kevin: Fat chance.
Principal Wexell: And now for the announcements.Seniors, I’m warning you, if you don’t stop clowning around, you shall not graduate from this school.Same for all of you.Anyway, I have good news for the Sophomores.In part of your Social Studies class, you will have a two-day field trip at our famous Lakewater Canyons..Before you celebrate,Sophomores,you need to let your parents sign the reply slip that will be given to you in 7th period.If your parents will not sign the slip, then unfortunate,you cannot come. No slips,no field trip. Good day to all, and finish your meal.
Sophomores were now talking excitedly about the field trip.
Kevin: Yes!Field trip.You are coming right?
Jason: Oh yeah. For sure.
Kevin: Come on, let’s go outside.
Both stand up and makes their way to the canteen doors.But, when they were just a foot away from the door,Jason bumps to Marnie, who was carrying her purse, and her cheerleading friends. The purse falls to the ground.
Jason (bents down to pick up the purse): Oh, I’m sorry, I- (recognizes Marnie) I...I...I...
Marnie (shy): So,um...
Kevin: Uh,see you around, Marnie. (looks at cheerleaders) Cheerleaders.Good day. (pulls Jason on the arm and both go outside)
Kevin: Well,that was fucking embarrassing.
Jason (looking red): Fuck,it was!Can’t believe I just did that in front of Marnie Lee...
ACT THREE- A CHEERLEADER'S WORST NIGHTMARE
Three days later, we cut to an orange mid afternoon. It was after cheerleading practice ,and the cheerleaders are in their locker room, where they undress and compare each other’s tits.
We then see Heather Rayne, a cheerleader with the word ‘SKANK’ written all over her personality. She talks to her aunt on the cellphone while dressing up.
Heather: Oh, Aunt May, would you stop bitching around me? It’s not my-.I will not go-.You wouldn’t....Fine..Fine...I’m going home. (puts down cell) Bitch.
Susie, one of the cheerleaders eavesdrops on Heather’s conversation, sits down next to her.
Susie: What’s up, Heathikins?
Heather: My bitch of an aunt wants me home by 5:30, or no allowance.
Heather: ‘Cause I called my maid a useless whore, and ripped out some of her dandruff-infested hair.
Susie:Like, why did you do that?
Heather: She prepared pork chops last night. Pork chops, Susiekins! Stupid whore forgot I’m in a diet.
Susie: So that means you’re not going to Steve’s party?
Susie: But Devie Wonders is going to be there!And he only comes here once a month!
Heather: Like I know!Of all the days Auntie can ground me, she had to pick this day.
Susie: Oh, that just sucks,dear.Well, I guess I have nobody to come with me. Maybe I can invite Marniekins...
Heather (angrily): Oh, you mean the-one-who-sat-on-my-Lacoste-shoes-while-sitting-on-the-bench Marnie?
Susie: Oh, come on,Heathikins.She’s not bad, actually. And you covered your Lacoste with a white towel.There’s no way Marnikins could have known.
Heaher: Ok fine.Invite the klutz if you want to.
Susie goes to Marnie, who is already full dressed.
Marnie: Oh,hey Susie
Susie: Listen, I’m going to a party tonight at Steve Butcher’s house.Wanna come?
Marnie: Oh,no thanks.
Susie: Oh, but you have to come! I mean, Devie Wonder’s is gonna be there!You know him, right?
Marnie: Wait..I think I saw him on the news. Didn’t he get arrested for having sex with an 9 year old?
Susie: Well...yah, but the kid was turning 10 anyway. But he’s not the only hottie there, I know a lot of -
Marnie: Susie, I appreciate your offer, but really, I can’t come.
Heather, now fully dressed, goes up to them.
Heather: I’m leaving.Susie, she’s dosen’t want to come, so please stop acting so desperate.It’s making me sick. And Marnie, sweetie, a word of advice, don’t sit on someone else’ shoes again, especially if its Lacoste. Anyway, toodles (leaves)
Heather goes out of the school and walks on IŮigo Avenue,an avenue filled with trees that almost covers up the sunlight. She then receives a call from her cell.
Caller: (makes creaking noises)
Heather looks at her cell’s LCD, and sees "JUDY -Calling"
Heather (grinning): Judy, you skank!
Judy (laughing): Oh, like, gosh,Heather!You,like,got scared?
Heather: Me,scared?Oh, please, the only thing that scares me is Macy Thompson’s fashion sense.So 70’s!
Judy: Like,I know!So,like,guess who’s house I’m in right now?
Judy: Steve Butcher!
Heather: OMG! How’d you get invited?You didn’t break in, did you?
Judy: Like,no, I didn’t break in! We met behind the gym,like, and we got a bit turn on and...
Heather (chuckles): Oh,you didn’t!
Judy (laughing): Oh,like, I did!
Heather: So...how was-
Steve (distantly): Oh, Judy! The tub’s ready!
Judy: Oh,gotta go,Heath! (line’s dead)
Heather tucks the cell on her pocket, and keeps walking. She spots an old hobo looking at her legs. He wiggles his tongue maniacally,as though he was licking Heather’s pussy. Heather just walks a bit faster. The cell rings again. Heather pulls it from her pocket, and answers it.
Heather: So,Judy, how was-
Heather: Judy, stop kidding arou-
Heather looks at the LCD again, and sees it’s not Judy,who was calling. It was an unknown caller.
Heather (cell): Who is this?
Caller: Eat...Eat..Eat... (line’s dead)
Scared, Heather keeps on walking, her legs shaking.
Heather (to herself): Just some sicko,Heath.It’s just some prank some sicko’s playing.That’s right.Yeah...
The cell rings again. Heather answers it.
Heather: Look,you little sicko,you don’t know who you’re messi-
Caller: Behind the trees. It’ll rip your pussy.It’ll tear your stomach. It’ll eat your useless flesh, you worthless shit. Rip...Tear...Eat!
Heather drops her cell and breaks to a run. The sicko, he’s behind the trees. Waiting to torture and kill her...
Heather (shouts): Oh, help me!Help-Aah!!
A thick wooden stick whacks her legs, causing her to trip. The holder of the stick appears behind the trees. It was too dark to see what he looked like. He was like a shadow.Heather couldn’t stand up.
Heather: Get away from me!You don’t know my parents!They’re from the-
Before she could finish her sentence, the shadow kicks on her head, knocking her off, unconscious.
Heather wakes up, and in an instant, feels stinging pain. She screams in pain. She tries to focus, and realizes that she’s in a junkyard.She was tied up on the rusty hood of a Ford by metal spikes.She’s drenched in blood.
She sobs in pain.
Heather (shouting painfully):Somebody,please help me!Please!
The ‘shadow’ comes out from nowhere, carrying a rusty, metal box,which is moving. Now in broad,orange daylight, Heather could now see what see what the ‘shadow’ looked like. He was wearing a black cloak. He also wore the cloak’s hood on his head.His face was covered by a black veil. Heather couldn’t see his face, but there was a very distant outline of a twisted smile on the shadow’s face.
Heather: Oh God,please let me go!Please!
The shadow shook his head, and goes up to her. The box was moving faster than ever. Slowly, the shadow opens the box, and lets Heather see the contents of the box.Heather screams in terror. Rats.Two rats scurrying around the box, looking for a way out. The shadow puts the open side of the box on Heather’s stomach. Heather screams as she feels the claws of the rats, scurrying around her flesh.
Heather: No!No!Please,no! The shadow examines a huge pile of metal on the right side of the car, and pulls out metal chains. With the chains clutched on his hand, he goes back to the screaming Heather, and ties the box around her stomach, by using the chains.]
The rats, now aware that they can dig their way out of Heather’s body, digs on her stomach.The two rats were now covered in blood, and kept digging, until they were inside Heather’s liver. They continued to dig their way up.
The shadow, enjoying every bit of the torture, gives the slowly dying Heather a wave, and disappears.
Last edited by btzneb; 06-25-2007 at 03:04 AM..
06-21-2007, 05:12 AM
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Join Date: Sep 2006
Hi there...I'll have a closer look at the content tonight for you...Just a note on the 'format' (and I don't mean the way it has copied over, which is a pain in the rear, I know...LOL) Scripts usually have 'Acts', rather than 'chapters'.
The formatting and style is slightly different for theatre, radio, TV and film, so if you could let me know which media you had in mind.
Here is a nice scriptwriting template, I have used it in the past. It's from the BBC's Writers room
, which might help
06-25-2007, 03:07 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90 Act 4-6
ACT FOUR- THE SHADOW'S PREYS
Four days later, the disappearance of Heather Rayneís not just the topic of the whole student body at Lakewater High, but the whole town as well. Rumors of her being gang raped or abducted by aliens traveled around the town like a wild fire.
For the police, it had been difficult, traveling all over the whole province, looking for any sign of her. The only thing they had in mind now was to interrogate the student body about Heather.
So, now we join Marnie inside the principalís room, where Principal Wexell and Chief Bragen look at her closely, as though trying to find a trace of guilt inside of her, while Marnie sits in a chair, uncomfortable.
Principal Wexell: Ms.Lee, I see that you are also a member of the cheerleading squad. Ms. Rayne is also a member of the squad, am I correct?
Marnie: Yes, sir.
Principal Wexell: So, do you know her well?
Marnie: Not really,sir.
Principal Wexell: Was there some hints of grudge towards you two?
Marnie: No-I mean...I donít really know.
Principal Wexell: You donít know?
Marnie:...I guess sheís kinda angry at me.Because I got in the squad and she thought I was got in too easil-
Chief Bragen: Shush. Look, Ms. Lee, I know I may not seem so nicey,wisey, but weíve interviewed about a large number of students today, and weíre going to interview a hell lot more,so let me apologize early,that I do not have the time to discuss teenage your problems,like the other students fed us to-
Principal Wexell: Bragen, please-
Chief Bragen: Shush,Wexell.Now, weíre just going to speed up these worthless questions and get straight to the main enchilada.Is that OK for you, Princess?
Marnie,who was getting a bit angrier, tried to hide her anger.
Chief Bragen: Since Ms. Rayne is angry at you,are you also angry at Ms.Rayne?Any intentions of murder or humiliation?Torture?
Marnie: No!Of course not!
Chief Bragen: When was the last time you saw her?
Marnie: The...girls locker room,last Friday,after practice.She said she was going to-
Chief Bragen:Her house?
Chief Bragen: Possibility she was going to Mr. Steve Butcherís party?
Principal Wexell: We had interviewed all of the cheerleaders in the squad. All said the same information you told us.
Marnie: But, have you checked the party or her hou-
Principal Wexell: Not there.
Chief Bragen: More than half of the townís entire police force is out in the whole province, searching for Ms.Rayne.All right,Ms. Lee,for the last question,will you promise us,me and Principal Wexell here,that if you saw or heard something fucked up,anything at all,will you promise to go to us firsthand, and tell?
Marnie: Yes,of course, Mr.Brag-
Chief Bragen: Itís Chief Bragen, princess
Marnie: Right.Can I go?
Principal Wexell: All right.You may go.It might be too late to go back to class, because itís 4 minutes until lunch time, you may go to the canteen and eat your lunch,alright?
Marnie: Okay.Bye,Principal,Chief (leaves)
Principal Wexell and Chief Bragen: Bye,Ms.Lee.
Principal Wexell: Well..what are we going to do?If this reaches the national attention,this will put the town in a bad light!
Chief Bragen: Trust me on this,Wexell.The townís already in a bad light so way fucking back, judging from what Iíve seen.
Principal: But are you still going to support the idea that the person, who mightíve captured Ms.Rayne, is a teenager?
Chief Bragen: Youíre too fucking blind,Wexell.There was never a time when those fuckjob teenagers were innocent,never was.Theyíre nasty little shits,they are. So, if you still think that those shits are innocent as hell, you might as well resign.íCause you donít know shit about them.
We follow Marnie, opening her locker, to get her purse. She pulls out her purse, and a tiny picture of the six year old Marnie and Jason, hugging each other. Marnie smiles at the picture. Just as she was about to close the locker, CLASH!The faint sound of breaking glass echoed.
Marnie: What was that?
Marnie then receives a text message.
ĎJANITORíS CUPBOARD.ROOM 124"
Marnie,filled with curiosity, goes to Room 124. Inside, was indeed a broken glass window, with its shards all over the floor.Also, lying on the floor, was a small piece of paper,folded.Marnie unfolded it,and gasped. There was something written on the paper.
ĎBEWARE OF YOUR FRIENDS,OR YOUR BLOOD WILL BE SPILT FOR THEIR SAKEí
Marnie was truly scared now. She stepped away from the room, but out of nowhere, a handful number of teeth threw out from the window and landed on Marnieís feet. Marnie screamed, and ran out of the door.
Five minutes later, Principal Wexell escorted the frightened Marnie to the clinic, while Chief Bragen observed something strange. Blood. The broken window (including its shards) were covered in blood.
Chief Bragen: God,help us.
A day later, we join Summer in silent 7:00 night.She just came out of the school doors, and sat on the front porch,bored.She just came out of detention, which means 2 hours of writing ĎI am not call my teachers a dead fuckí endlessly. Her cell rings.She pulls it out of her pocket and answers it.
Summer: Hello,Grim Fucking Reaper,speaking.
Seth: Summer,you whore!
Summer: Oh, hey Seth.
Seth: Did you fucking know that I waited a fucking hour for you to come out of that shithole?
Summer: I know, but Zamora kept me in for a while.
Seth: So what?So you can suck his junk?
Summer: Well n-.Yes,Seth.I sucked his junk. So,when are you gonna be here?
Seth: Give me five minutes, bitch.
Summer: All right,see you. (hangs up cell) Asshole.
Summer, whoís bored as hell, decides to go to the covered court.When she goes there, she sees Denzel, sitting on the bench, while the other basketball players were practicing. Denzel sees Summer and waves.Summer gives him a scandalized look and goes away from the court.The coach calls for Denzel.
Coach: Merriman!Get your ass right here!
Denzel (distractedly): Oh...okay, coach.
Summer walks around the school yard. It was pitch black, and she hardly saw anything. But, out of nowhere, she sees something glinting. She realizes that itís...
Summer lunges for the jewel, but to her surprise, the jewel scurries away.
Summer: Did I even smoke pot today?
Nevertheless, she follows the jewel. It was difficult, judging by the fact that she was running in a pitch black night, but she managed to catch it. The jewel was a blood red,ruby necklace. And it wasnít actually running, but it was strapped to a-
Summer (shrieking): Rat! Eww,gross!
The rat scurries away, leaving Summer,with the necklace clutched on her fist, in the darkness.
Summer( turns back): Well, that was disgus-Aah!
It was just the Mohawk - headed Seth, who smelled strongly of tobacco.
Summer: Seth!Shit, you scared me.
Seth: Bitch, you had me looking all over for you!I told you, you thick-headed whore, to stay on the front porch!
Seth: But instead, you prance around,showing everybody your rotting pussy!
Summer:Uh...I was just trying to smoke some pot while nobody sees me.
Seth: I donít trust you.
Summer: Then fine.Donít trust me.
Seth:...Youíre lucky I didnít bring the fucking needles...Letís go.And wash your fucking hands!
Summer:What?What about my-(gasps)
Blood.There was blood all over her hands.She hadnít noticed it, due to the pitch black darkness.
Seth (walking away): Hurry up, bitch!
She looks at the necklace. It was actually covered in blood.It also looked like the necklace was actually gold. And there was something carved on the ruby.It was so newly carved, that the tiny pieces of ruby was still there.
Summer turned over the ruby, and sees another message.It wasnít newly carved. It gave the name of the necklaceí previous owner.
ĎTo Heathikins,Stay sexy!Love,Susikins"
Two hours later, we join Jason in his room. Heís having a YM! Chat with Kevin.He,mc347, is arguing with Kevin,whoís kw41, about comparing Tommy Vercetti with Carl Johnson.
Mc347: Tommyís got a mansion!
Kw41: CJís got every empty house in San Andreas, idiot.
Mc347: Well, CJís fat!
Kw41: Tommy canít even fucking swim!
Kw41: Anyway, you saw that Russian guy in GTA IV?
Mc347: Yeah...he looks like a faggot, if you ask me.
Mc347: Hey,Kev. Some dipshitís pissing me off.
Kw41: Oh yeah? What does his pee taste like?
Mc347: Idiot.Someoneís messing with me.
Kw41:Probably that insane Iranian dude or that Mexican chick who flashed her tits.
Mc347: But neither of them have the username Rs21
Kw41: Hang on,Iíll try to chat with the dipshit.
Kw41:Iím back.The assholeís not replying.
Mc347: Hang on.The assholeís saying something different now.
Kw41: Really? Well,what was he saying last time?
Mc347: Rip.Thatís it.
Kw41: Thatís the Mexican chick. She probably changed her username.
Ďrs21 wants to send you a file: viewmejason.avi Approve or Reject?í
mc347: The chickís sending me a video file.But she has my name written on the file.What should I do?
kw41: Approve it, dude!Itís probably a video of her fucking her pussy!
Jason opens the file, and sees a black and white frame of a junkyard. Then, slowly, the camera focuses on a screaming girl, with spikes tied up on her chest.
Jason (shocked):Oh my god.Thatís Heather.
The video was depicting Heatherís murder.
Kw41: Well?Is it porn?
Jason, utterly shocked, backs away. He trips, and he lands to the floor. He then hears a sickening,soft SQUISH. He gets up and looks at the thing he just squished.After one glance of it, he thought he was going to vomit.m Because, that thing he just squished was an eye. A raw,bloody,baby-blue eye that had its yellow fluids oozing out of it. It was Heatherís eye.
ACT FIVE- PEA SOUP FOR THE STALKED SOUL
Two days later, we join Jason in a rainy Thursday morning. Heís in his dadís Focus, being driven to school by his dad. After a long silence...
Mr.Mcguire: You know,Jason,you can still stay home if youíre still not well.
Jason: No,dad.And Iím not sick.
Mr.Mcguire: I know that,but youíve been put through a traumatic experience and-
Jason: Dad,my headís not spinning around.Iím fine.I just really want to see my friends.
Mr.Mcguire: But you could just invite them over at the house after-
They reached the school. Jason opens the car door.
Jason: Bye, dad.Thanks for the ride (closes door).
Mr.Mcguire:Oh...all right (speeds off)
Jason enters the school, only to find himself in a quiet hallway, being stared at every student at the hall. Jason tries to ignore the feeling of embarrassment burning inside of him, and turns to the right hall.
Junior: Hey,Mcguire!Why the fuck are you here?To show your pussy face to everybody in school?
Senior:Yeah,Mcguire!Go back to your mommy and daddy!
Leo, a scrawny-looking bully, blocks Jasonís way.
Leo: Well,well.Isnít it Pussy Mcguire.
Jason: Get out of the way, Leo.
Leo: Scared of the big,scary, boogeyman who crawled up in your itsy,bitsy room?
Jason: Get out of the fucking way.
Leo: You canít even face the boogeyman,let alone face me.What a scaredy cat.
Jason: I said get out of the fucking way! (tackles Leo and punches him hard)
Summer and Kevin made their way out of the crowd, and tries to stop the fight.
Summer: Jason!Leo!Stop it!
Kevin (pulling Jason off Leo): A little help here,Summer!
Summer helps Kevin, and successfully pulls the struggling Jason out of the fight.
Jason: Let the fuck go off me!Iíll beat the shit out of that faggot!
Summer: Would you stop it already!?
Leo (clutches his broken tooth): My tooth!You punched out my tooth!Why,you son of a-
Denzel makes his way out of the crows, and stands in front of Leo,pulling him back from Jason.
Denzel: Stop it,Leo.
Leo: Youíre not the fucking boss of me,Merriman!
Denzel: Do you honestly want me to rip out that tongue of yours along wih your tooth?Cut it out.NOW.
Leo (hesitantly): Fine. Watch your back,Mcguire.Or next time,youíll find it ripped out off you. (leaves)
Kevin (nods): Thanks man. (Jason nods along)
Denzel: Donít mention it.
Denzel looks reproachfully at Summer,as though hoping that she would thank him also,but she just merely looks at him for a quick second, and pays more attention to Jason.
Summer: Come on,Jason.Kevin?
Kevin dosenít pay attention to her.He was talking to an impressed girl, who thought that he couragely stopped the fight.
Summer: Kevin! Get your ass here now! (pulls Kevin away from the girl and leaves)
Summer: How could you be so stupid of doing that?!
Kevin: Hey, that dosenít really happen to me everyday, you know.
Summer: I was talking to Jason,idiot.
Jason: He started it.
Summer: And youíve let him fuck with your mind.
Jason: Summer, you canít expect me to let that faggot push me around!
Summer: But it would be more fucking sensible if you didnít listen to the fuckbag!
Jason: Listen to me,Summer!Iíd spend the entire fucking Wednesday being interrogated by everybody,okay?And for that, everybody in school thinks Iím a fucking idiot!For what?To see a slutís insides getting eaten!So do honestly think that I can be fucking Ďsensibleí to not get some fucking slack around here?
Kevin: Okay, this is awkward.
Summer: Look,Jason, I know that-
Jason: ĎThatí shit! You know what, youíre really an idiot.You think for yourself that youíre a person who everybody agrees to, but in reality,youíre a messed-up bitch who lets her boyfriend push her around!You kn-
Summer: Enough! You know what, you are being a fucking idiot,Jason!You seriously think that youíre the only one whoís been put through this Ďburdení?This feeling inside?Huh?Because youíre not the only fucking one who went through this,okay!Marnie went through this, and half the cheerleading squad think sheís a freak!And I went throught this and-(puts hand on her mouth)
Jason and Kevin: What?!
Kevin: You got stalked too?
Summer: I never said that.
Kevin: Yes,you did.
Summer: I didnít say anything!
Jason: Summer, donít lie.I know you.When did it happen?How?
Summer: I..I...(bell rings) I gotta get to class
Jason: Summer, please...
Summer: I..Iíll tell you later. But now, I really need to get to class (leaves)
Kevin: You really think she got stalked?
Kevin: Look,dude,I gotta go.Weinsteinís going to kill me if I missed his quiz again.
Jason: Oh..alright. (Kevin leaves)
Jason couldnít shake this weird feeling.The feeling that he was being watched. But, there was nobody in the hall now.
Jason: Itís just my imagination (leaves)
Jason couldnít join with Summer and Kevin and recess, because Zamora put the entire class in detention, all because of a weird prank pulled off by Eliott Cosby, which involved a slingshot and a used condom filled with semen. Jason had to wash his hair five time in lunch break, to make sure the stain came off him for good. Jason leaves the boysí comfort room and makes his way to the canteen.
Jason (muttering): Ugh,sick fuck.
Jason bumps into Marnie, who was carrying books this time. Marnie falls to the ground, and Jason helps her out.
Jason (helps Marnie stand up): Iím so sorry,I...(looks at Marnieís face) I...I...
Marnie then starts to pick up her books.Jason helps her out.
Jason: I..I...wasnít really paying attention.Iím sorry.
Marnie: No,itís okay.Thanks for helping me picking up my books.
Jason: Yeah,no problem.So...,er...Iíll see you around?
Both walked away from each other, marks of disappointment on their faces, then,Jason goes up to Marnie, and says...
Jason: Hey...Youíre Marnie Lee,right?
Marnie: Yeah...Jason Mcguire?
Marnie: From kindergarten?
Marnie: You still remember me?Weíre kinda friends back then, from what I remembered.
Jason: Oh yeah....I guess I kinda remember that a bit, also.
Marnie: Well...you certainly grew up looking nice.
Jason: Yeah..you also grew up looking ho-,I mean nice,too.
Marnie (grins): Thanks.So...youíre still friends with Summer Adams,right?
Jason: Yeah.Weíre good friends.But Kevinís my best friend,you know.
Jason: Wait, you donít remember Kevin Baxter?
Jason: Heís the scrawny kid who keeps chewing off Barbieís heads.
Marnie:Oh yeah!That Kevin!Does he still do that?
Jason: No...but he chews the skin from his fingers now.
Jason: Yeah, I know.Disgusting.
Marnie: Well...Summer changed a lot.
Jason: Tell me about it.
Marnie: She used to have that long wavy hair.Really graceful-looking.She almost looked like a princess.Anyway, I thought when we were still in kindergarten that you two were twins.
Jason: What?Me and Summer?Youíre joking.
Marnie: No,Iím not.You two really looked the same.
Jason: Well, thank God that I didnít had long hair that time, or we would had been like the Sprouse twins, or something.
Marnie: Or the Olsen twins.
Jason (chuckles): Now, thatís just gay.
Marnie (chuckles): I guess so.
Jason:...Anyway, where did your family move, when you left Lakewater?
Marnie: Milton. Great town.
Jason: I guess it is, judging from what you look now.
Marnie (grins): Thanks....So, are you going to the field trip this next Tuesday?
Zensie, one of the less graceful cheerleaders, interrupts Marnie.
Zensie: Come on, Marn, weíre sitting in Paul Bosseliís table!(looks at Jason, and blushes)Hi,Jason.Well,come on!
Marnie: All right.(faces Jason).Sorry, I have to go.
Jason: No problem.
Marnie: Hey, we should get together sometime.See you later. (she and Zensie leaves)
Jason (grins): Yeah...see you.
Jason gazes at Marnie walking away, dreamily.But, he finds out that there was only 20 minutes left till 5th period, so he dashed off to the canteen, and sits on Summer and Kevinís table.
Kevin: We finished eating.What took you, dude?
Jason (excitedly): I finally talked to Marnie!
Kevin: Finally!I thought it would take you centu-
Summer: Sorry for disturbing your discussion about this Ďjuicy gossipí, but I prefer it that you two would shut the fuck up.
Jason:Oh,sorry.Look,Summer, Iím really sorry for insulting you this morning,I-
Summer: Itís alright
Kevin: Okay, we skip to the make-up hugs.Were you really stalked by the killer?
Summer:Oh,Jesus.Canít you give it a rest? And since when was that dipshit considered a killer?
Kevin: Because he killed Heather, jackass!Killed-killer.Those two words mean exactly the same.
Jason: Whatever,Kev.The longer you wonít tell us, Summer, then the longer weíll annoy you.
Summer: Alright, fine! I got my fucking hands covered all over in blood, and I found a fucked-up necklace.The end.Happy?
Jason: Wait...how did your hands exactly got covered in blood?
Summer: I picked up a rat..
Kevin: And was the rat dead?
Summer: No.It scurried away.
Jason: Then why did you pick up a rat covered in blood?Thatís just insane.
Summer: Ugh.It was dark.I couldnít see a thing.The only thing I saw was the necklace glinting.I didnít know that the necklace was strapped to the rat.
Summer: The necklace was Heatherís.
Jason: Then,why didnít you turn it in?Why didnít you turn yourself in to the authorities?
Summer: Jason..I thought you learned a fucking lesson today.You tell the police that you got stalked by some psychopath,then people will wonít leave you alone.Thatís what the fucking dipshits did to you at the hall earlier.
Jason: Good point.Wait a second, where did you get stalked?
Summer: School grounds.
Jason: What time?
Summer: I donít know.6 pm, I think.Last Tuesday.Why?
Jason: I got stalked two hours after you did.Marnie got stalked a day before we got stalked.Donít you sense, or feel, a connection to all of this?
Summer:...Yeah.Strangely,yeah.I do feel that something is fucking wrong.
Kevin: So what if thereís a connection?What does it mean?
Jason: I donít know,Kev.But I know this. Something badís going to happen, guys.I can feel it.
ACT SIX- THE PROBLEM WITH KIDS
Two days later, we go to the Mcguire house, where we see Jason and his parents, eating ham, on the dinner table.
Mr.Mcguire: Yum.This is some ham, honey.
Mrs.Mcguire: Thank you, dear. (faces Jason).Jason,so howís the ham?
Jason: Listen, mom and dad, you know that the Sophomores are going to have a field trip at the canyons on Tuesday,right?I was wondering if I can go-
Mrs.Mcguire: No, Jason.
Mrs. Mcguire: No,buts.Itís too dangerous.
Jason: Mom,we have Mr.Zamora as our chaperone-
Mrs.Mcguire: I donít care.Itís too way dangerous.
Mr.Mcguire: Your motherís right,Jason.The canyons are full of wild beasts.Itís too dangerous.
Jason: Oh,come on.I know thatís not THE reason.Youíre afraid that I might get kidnapped by that fuck-
Jason: I donít care!Youíve completely underestima-
Mr.Mcguire: Enough,Jason.Please, just be silent and eat your ham.
Jason (stands up): No thanks.Iím full, and I think Iíll chat with Kevin.
Mrs. Mcguire: I donít think chatting on the internet again is such a good ide-
Jason: Geez,Mom!Iím only going to chat with my friend,not to chat with that psychopath !(leaves)
Jason goes up to his room, and sits down on his computer chair.He saw the chatbox, which was filled with the conversation Kevin and Jason had a while ago.
Mc347: They still wonít let me go,Kev.
Kw41: Well,that sucks.
Mc347: Iím so fucking tired of this!You remembered what Leo did to my bag yesterday!They put ketchup all over my notebook!And I still have that bruise on my chest! Then the fucking principal keeps calling me in his office, asking if Iím okay or if I can just see the fucking guidance counselor!I mean, come on!I wasnít actually killed,you know!Iím not some fucking baby!
Mc347: Ugh! I really want to go to that field trip!
Kw41: Why?I mean, youíre not so psyched about Social Studies.
Mc347: Uh...Because I would really like to see the canyons!
Kw41: Oh,come on.Weíre ten miles away from each other, and I know that youíre lying.Wait...is this about Marnie?
Mc347: What?What are you talking about?
Kw41: Of course!This is about Marnie!Youíre going to make a move on her!
Mc347: No way!
Kw41: Oh,really?Come on,man.Thatís the only sensible reason why you really want to go to this field trip.
Mc347: Or maybe I just want to get away from the shit Iím in right now?
Kw41:....Okay,havenít really thought of that.
Kevin hears a noise outside his bedroom.There was something moving.
Kw41: Dude,thereís something outside my bedroom window.
Mc347: Har-di-har.Real funny,Kev.What a shitty joke.
Kw41: No, I serious
Summerís head appears outside the window.There were twigs on her hair, and there were some cuts on her face.
Kevin: Summer!Jesus,itís you!
Summer: A little help here, dipshit?
Kevin helps her climb inside.Her clothes were torn.She now looked a lot like a crack whores you see on the streets.
Kevin: Jesus,Summer.What happened to you?
Summer: Me and Seth broke up.
Kevin:...And youíre sad about that?I thought you hated the guy.
Summer: I do!I was even the one who told him that we should break up.Then, he went nuts and...he beat me up.
Kevin: God,Iím so sorry,Summer.Is there anything I can do?
Summer:...Can I sleep here tonight,please?
Kevin: Uh..yeah,sure.So,are we gonna sleep in my bed?
Summer: Weíre not sleeping together!Iíll just sleep on the floor.
Kevin: Oh..okay.But,you really need to get changed first.Iíll get one of my momís clothes.
Kevin goes to his parentsí bedroom and gets one of his momís pajamas.When he goes back inside his room...
Summer wore nothing,but her bra and panties.She was wiping blood off her face.
Summer: Ah!Couldnít you knock?
Kevin: Uh...Iím sorry.Here.(hands pajamas to Summer)
Summer: Thanks.Can you turn away for a second?
Kevin: Uh...No problem.Iíll just chat with Jason in a sec.
Kevin turns away from the dressing Summer, and chats again with Jason on the YM!
Kw41: Itís just Summer.
Mc347: Whatís she doing there?
Kw41: Canít tell, but, Iíll tell you the details tomorrow.
Kevin hears pages turning. He faces Summer, fully dressed.She was looking at a photo album.
Summer (chuckles): Hey, Kevin.Is this you?
Kevin looks at the picture, and blushed in embarrassment.It was his six year old self, whose mouth was full of Barbie heads.
Kevin: Uh...no.Thatís my cousin.
Summer (grins): Uh-huh.Right.
Summer turns the next page, and when she saw the next picture, she froze.Kevin looked at the picture.It was a picture of a eleven-year old,clean-looking, Summer and Denzel,hugging each other.Summer got back to her senses and shut the photo album.
Kevin:Hey...Summer?Can I ask you something?
Kevin: What made you and Denzel split up?
Summer: What?I never-
Kevin: We just looked at the picture.That girl was either you or Dolly the sheepís human form.
Summer: I...It was nothing.Just a quick hook-up thing,thatís all.
Kevin: But why did you two break up?I kinda heard that something happened to you last year at the-
Summer (snappishly): Kevin, would you please just quit the subject,okay?Quit it.
Kevin: ...All right. Iíll just...YM! With Jason,then...
Summer (snappishly): You do that.
Kevin goes back to the computer, and chats with Jason.
Kw41: Dude,Iím back.
Mc347: What took you so long?Never mind,itís OK.I was just watching Happy Tree Friends.
Kw41: Anyway, you said you wanted to join the field trip, right?
mc347: Well, yeah.
Kw41: I have a plan.
Mc347: Oh no.You know your plans never work!
Kw41: But,I swear this planís going to work out great!
Mc347: Sorry,Kev.I just donít want any trouble.brb.
Jason leaves his bedroom and goes to the bathroom, to pee.He leaves the bathroom.He then hears his mom and dadís voice downstairs.It sounds like they were arguing. Jason hides near the staircase, so he can hear them clearly.
Mrs.Mcguire: No!I would absolutely forbid it!
Mr.Mcguire: But, Geraldine, havenít you seen what Jason looks like lately? He looks depressed, for Christís sake!Donít you think that field trip would do him some good?
ear,I know heís depressed and Iím also concerned about that, but at least itís better to keep him safe inside, than leaving him kidnapped to that monster!
Mr.Mcguire: But Jasonís a teenager no-
Mrs.Mcguire: Teenager?What do I care if heís now a teenager?Heís still dosenít know how to think for himself!Even if heís a teenager,heís still a child and is still too weak-
Mr.Mcguire:All right,all right,already!Fine, I guess youíre right.
Jason had enough.Frustration was spreading inside of him.He quietly went back inside his room.
Jason (muttering): Too weak to think for myself?Iíll show them.
Jason goes back to his computer.
mc347: Iím in.
kw41: In for what?
mc347: Your plan.I'm in.
kw41: All right!
mc347: So what's your plan?
kw41: You'll see
06-25-2007, 03:10 AM
Join Date: Jun 2007
The formatting?Not sure, actually.I read the script for 'Scream' (it's a POPULAR horror movie), and I really got inspired by it, and I decided to make my own script.
06-25-2007, 06:31 AM
Heartbreaking Writer of Staggering Genius
Join Date: Sep 2006
Sorry to harp on about the formatting...but you need to split it into scenes to. At the end of every sentence in your scene decription you need to add 'white space', by that I mean a blank line, (apparently this is the fashion these days!)
here's an example of scene breakdowns to show you what i mean.
ACT ONE- GUARDS OF THE WHACKHOUSE
1. EXT Kinsley town - Night - Fade up to a silent night at the town of Kinley.
Describe Kinley, what kind of architecture, small town big town, what do you see an aerial view, or from street level.
Kinley was usually a quiet town because of its population of stuffy and over-religious people.
2. EXT - Kinly Town street - same time frame - Down the neighborhood,we observe a cute brown bunny,with a half-eaten carrot on its mouth, hopping across the road.
Then,out of nowhere,BAM! And a sickening SQUISH.
The once cute,or once whole, bunny finds its body squished and carried by the tires of a Mustang,and its blood smeared all over the road.
3 - INT - Mustang - same time frame - We focus to the driver of the Mustang.
A pale looking man with spiky blue hair and teeth full of tobacco stains.His name is Ronnie.
One of the few security guards of the only famous building of Kinley...its mental facility,or as the townspeople called it...the Whackhouse.
Ronnie is on his way to the facility and is having a heated conversation with his roommate on the cellphone.
Ronnie (angrily): I swear,Raey, if you don’t do the fucking dishes till I get back,I’ll stuff a kitchen knife in your asshole!
Raey (Voice only) (angrily): Then try it,fuckbag!You don’t pay the fucking rent!You don’t cook your own fucking food!You don’t even clean the fucking house!All you do here is bang whores in the living room!
Ronnie: One more insult,bitch,and I’ll slit your throat!
4 EXT - Kinley Mental Facility - same time frame We then see an outline of a medium-sized building with the sign ‘Kinley Mental Facility’,perched on the top of the building,blinking on and off.
But it wasn’t the building that was impressive,nor if the building is even impressive-looking,but its metal gates.
5 EXT - Kinley Mental facility - same time frame - The metal gates were so tall that it was about three-stories high.
Next to the gates was a tiny guardhouse,locked and the loud noises of a TV can be heard from inside.
Raey: (voice only)That’s it!You are fucking moving out of this house!You can pick up those tattered rags of clothes you wear,down the fucking road!(line’s dead)
The dialogue is fine, although I would put and 'Language advisory' in the title of this piece, my only other point on the dialogue is when a person can be heard but not seen on camerayou need to say that it is 'voice only'.
With regards to your scene descriptions you are a directors dream and a writer's nightmare, because you are not saying how you see the scenes. For example the poor bunny, is it a tarmaced highway or a dirt road, where is Kinley? what season? I know its night but do we have an actual time, is it 8pm or 1am? I'm assuming the weather is dry...
hope this helps
Last edited by starpanda; 06-25-2007 at 06:35 AM..
06-25-2007, 06:55 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
Thank you so much for the comment, StarPanda.
.Hehe, I'm kinda a newbie, and this is my first script that I wrote, so it's really flawed. Anyway, what is the meaning og 'EXT.' and 'INT.'?
P.S: If I do the same thing in the later acts, please forgive me, because I finished writing the story two months ago, and I'm just 'copy and paste' the acts from 'Last Words' (those people don't comment on the script! *angry*)
Last edited by btzneb; 06-25-2007 at 07:00 PM..
06-25-2007, 07:06 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90 Act 7-9
ACT SEVEN- THE FIELD TRIP
We now cut to a beautiful, Tuesday morning. Jasonís in his room, cramping some clothes in his schoolbag. Mrs. Mcguire knocks on the door.
Mrs.Mcguire: Jason,honey,can I come in?
Jason (zipping the bag): Uh...yeah.Come in.
Mrs. Mcguire (comes in): Ready for school?
Jason (carries his bag): Yeah.Is the carpool waiting outside?
Mrs. Mcguire: Yeah. Listen,honey, you sure you donít want your father to take you to school?
Jason: No, Iíll be all right, riding in carpool.
Mrs.Mcguire: Well,alright.Just be careful, okay?
Jason: Yeah,mom.See you.
Jason leaves the house and goes inside a blue van, filled with students fooling around.Jason sits beside Kevin and Summer.
Jason: Whatís up,guys?
Kevin: Nothing much.
Summer: Donít give a shit.
Kevin: Well...you ready?
Summer: Ready for what?
Jason: You didnít tell her?I thought you two were sleeping with each other last Saturday night?
Summer: Hey!We didnít fucking sleep together!I slept on the floor!
Kevin: Nope, I didnít tell her.
Summer: Tell me what?Come on,tell me,jackass!
Kevin: All right, already!Jasonís going to the field trip.
Summer: Really?I thought he wasnít allowed.
Jason: I didnít tell my parents Iím going.
Summer: What!?Jason, are you fucking insane?Youíre totally going to get your ass whipped by your parents if they find out about this!
Jason: Will I let my parents find out about this?And really, do I give a shit?
Summer: But you forgot one thing,dipshit.
Summer: The reply slip!You need it to be signed by your parents so you can go!And Zamoraís going to inspect us with our reply slips signed before going in the bus!
Jason: But thanks to Kev,right here, I donít have to worry about that.
Kevin: You do remember that I can forge ANY signature? Well, I forged Jasonís dadís signature, with "detalye"! (slaps hands with Jason)
Summer: Oh,my God.Iím surrounded by total dipshits. Just donít drag me into this...shitty scheme of yours,okay?
Jason: Okay, no problem.
We skip to 4:30 pm, where the Sophomores are outside the school grounds, waiting for the buses to arrive. The principal lectures them, once again.
Principal Wexell: Now remember, if you had not let your parents or guardians sign the reply slip, then you are not allowed to join the field trip. Now your chaperone, Mr. Zamora, will tell you all about what to do and what not to do while in the Lakewater Canyons.
All the Sophomores groan.
Principal Wexell: Shush!
Zamora pipes up.
Mr. Zamora: All right, sophies, I know you are all very eager to go, so Iíll just make this quick. Do not bring electronic devices. That means no iPods,no PSPís, and no Tamaguchi.
You may bring your cellphones only, and I mean only, for emergencies.Bringing of drugs and alcoholic beverages are strictly prohibited. Always obey what your chaperone, in this case me, tells you to do and what not to do.Well, thatís it.Letís go learn and have fun!
All the Sophomores cheers.The four school buses arrive.
Mr.Zamora: All right!Group 1, please form your line, and give your reply slips to me, and enter the bus.Other groups, wait in line and do the same.
Jason, Kevin, Summer, Marnie, Denzel and a few other students line up.
Mr. Zamora (receiving slips): Marrow,enter.Sasso,enter.Mcguire-
Mr. Zamora looks more closely at the slip.After a few moments, he nods.
Mr. Zamora: Mcguire, enter.Fisher, enter.Adams, enter.Davis, enter.Macko,enter.Lee,enter.Drews,enter.Merriman,e nter-
We skip a few minutes later, and we join the group inside the bus. They already took off, and were now nearly on the highway.Jason and Summer sat together, while Kevin and Kurt Marrow sat beside their seat. Marnie and Zensie sat on four seats on the right away from Jasonís seat, while Denzel and Ditsie Drews sat behind Summerís seat.Jason and Kevin looked at each other,relieved that Mr.Zamora didnít bust Jason out. Marnie talks with Zensie, but keeps having occasional looks at Jason. Denzel tries to catch Summerís eye, but the sociopath Ditsie tries to flirt with him.
Summer (muttering): Pathetic.
Ditsie (looks at Summer): Excuse me?
Summer: Nothing...(whispers) Horny bitch.
Jason: Someoneís a little jealous.
Summer: Me?Jealous?Oh please,Iíd rather fuck Kevin than even LIKE Denzel Merriman.
Kevin, who eavesdropped the whole time, also looks at Summer/
Summer: Oh,my God.Iím surrounded by idiots.
Jason: I think that means no, Kev.
As the hour progressed,Ditsie falls asleep, and finally,Denzel makes tries to make a Ďmoveí on Summer.
Denzel:Ahem,so...You two psyched about the trip?
Jason: A bit.
Denzel looks reproachfully at Summer,who tries to ignore him.
Summer: ...Guess so.
Denzel could not suppress a grin.
Denzel: So, you two watched the game last month?
Jason: Oh yeah! I canít believe tha shot you made, dude!That was some bad ass shit!
Summer: I donít like basketball.Itís a pointless sport.
Denzel:Oh...how about football?
Summer: Stupid excuse for men to tackle each other.
Summer: One way ticket to Mudville
Denzel: Oh...how abou-
Summer: Hey Kevin!Did you see the new pic at Rotten?
Kevin: No.What is it?
Summer: An aftermath of a gruesome basketball game. When the other team won, the town crowd got really angry and broke not just the other teamís skulls, but also their own teamís skulls. They fed the bodies to the dogs.Very likely that might happen again.Better watch out for that next game, Merriman.
Denzel slouches back to his seat, looking a bit worried.
They were officially getting nearer and nearer to the canyons. As the hour progressed more and more, more interesting things came up.
Jasonís cell was beeping.A text message.
ĎLook behind youí
Jason turns around, and sees Marnie smiling at him.She raised her cellphone. Jason, feeling fluttery, smiled back, and texted her back.
Jason: Howíd you get my number?
Marnie: Zensie gave it to me. By the way, she has a crush on you.
Jason looks back at Marnie, and sees her seatmate, Zensie, waving at him, blushing furiously.
Jason: Thatís weird. I never knew that it was possible that a cheerleader would be crushing on me.
Marnie: Sheís not the only one. Zensieís right.You are cute.
Jason felt every heat from his body coming up on his cheeks. But he looked back at Marnie, and saw that she also was blushing.Jason felt much better. They spent the next 15 minutes getting to know more about each other. The bus finally stopped. Thunderous cheering echoed throughout the famous, rocky canyons.
Mr.Zamora (shouting): Shush!Everybody, please step out of the bus peacefully and orderly.
Too late for that. The students were rushing out of the buses, like a wild stampede. Each student was awed by the breathtaking sight of the canyons. There were about twenty,tall canyons. And, farther from the canyons was full of hills.
Mr.Zamora: Okay sophies, weíve made it to the Lakewater Canyons.For the next two days, we will be studying the environment and its animals.
Now I would like to remind you about the three rules weíve talked about earlier,okay?Wh-
Kevin: Dude, did your parents texted or called you,yet?
Jason: No.Theyíre working overtime tonight, I just asked them this morning.
Jason looked at Marnie again, and saw that she was waving at him again.Jason smiled widely.
Jason: You know what,Kev?This might be the best two days of my life.
As the Sophomores hiked down the canyons, the shadow lurks inside a dark canyon.His dark,cold eyes were staring at Jason, as though he was a delicious prey, waiting to be ripped apart.
ACT EIGHT- A DAY AT THE LAKEWATER CANYONS
We cut to a beautiful,sunny Wednesday morning at the canyons. There were piles of empty junkfood and empty soda cans everywhere. The Sophomores were still sleeping in their sleeping bags, but this was disrupted by the loud, ringing noises Mr.Zamoraís bell made.
Mr.Zamora (tapping bell): Wake up,sophies!Wake up!Itís a beautiful morning and a beautiful day to explore the wonders of the Lakewater Canyons!
The sleepy Sophomores tried to go back to sleep, but Mr.Zamoraís bell was too loud, so they had to get up.
Summer (tugging Jason and Kevin): Jason!Kevin!You two jackasses!Wake up!
Jason (yawning): Whazisit?
Summer: Wake up!
Kevin (sleepily): Wake me up later, bitch.
Summer pinches Kevin, hard on the arm.
They spent the next fifteen minutes eating breakfast.Marnie goes to Jasonís group.
Marnie: Hey.How was sleep?
Jason: Not too bad.A scorpion bit on my ass, but Iím okay.
Marnie (chuckling): Well, if this makes you better, I had to sleep with Zensie, who was snoring so loudly. Plus, we had to sleep near those rough boulders., since there wasnít any room in the cheerleader group.
Jason: But there was plenty of room-
Marnie: I know.They wouldnít let me and Zensie join their group, because weíre the Ďunpopularí cheerleaders. They really have been treating me badly, since when that killer stalked me last week.
Jason: I know what you mean.
Marnie: I guess I can call our situation similar.I saw what that Leo boy taunting you last week. That must been awful.
Jason: Itís not awful.Irritatingís the right word.
Kevin (grinning): So,Jason, are you going to introduce us to your friend?
Jason: Oh...Marnie, meet-
Marnie: Kevin Baxter, right?
Marnie: And,is this Summer Adams?
Summer: Kinda obvious,yeah.
Marnie (smiling): Nice to see you again.
Kevin:So, how are you and Jason getting along?
Jasonís eyes went wide. He mouths Ďnoí to Kevin.Marnie blushed when Kevin asked the question,and said...
Marnie: Weíre great
Kevin: How great?
Marnie: Great as in...great.
Kevin: Is there a chance of you and Jason hooking up?
Jason was giving Kevin hand gestures of slitting his throat.Marnie looked even redder.
Marnie: I..I donít know.I kinda already hooked up with someone.
Jason, in an instant, looked depressed. Surprisingly, he looked shockingly like the male version of Summer.Kevin looked sorry that he even raised the question.
They finished their breakfast, and spent the whole morning going inside the canyons, and observing its habitat.After that, they had lunch break.
Jason (sadly): Of course, she had already hooked up with someone!She a cheerleader!Iím so fucking stupid!
Summer (patting Jason on the back): Itís okay, Jason. Donít beat yourself up over it.
Kevin: Yeah,what she said.But at least we still have Plan B.
Summer: Plan B?!Another scheme?
What are you two planning?
Kevin: Youíll find out, if worse comes to worst.
Jason: Which means now.
Kevin: No.Thatís not the worst we were talking about.
Summer: I have a question. You didnít tell your parents you were coming,right? Didnít they text or call your cell by now?They must be worried like shit.
Jason: Wait a minute. Iíll check. My cellís in the bag.Come on, letís go to the base camp.
The three goes to the base camp. They grabbed Jasonís bag,which was next to Kevin and Summerís bags,.Jason puts his hand inside, and tries to feel for the cell.
Jason: Itís here some-Ow!
Kevin: What is it!?
Jason pulls his hand out of the bag. His hand was penetrated by bits of sharp glass shards.
Summer: Donít let your hand move. Iíll prick those out.
While Summer clumsily pricks out the shards, Kevin becomes a bit suspicious, and drops all of the bagís contents on the ground.
Jason: Dude, what are you-What the-
Jasonís cell was completely dismantled and crushed to pieces.
Kevin: ...Let me check my cell.
Summer: Me too.
Both dropped their bagís contents to the floor. Their cellphones were also dismantled and crushed to pieces.
Kevin: Someoneís fucking with us.Bet you that itís Leo.
Summer: No.Leo couldnít come.The principal gave him detention.
Jason: So, who did this?
Kevin: I donít know.
Summer: I donít know about you guys, but somehow, this is like.. an omen.
Kevin: An omen?
Summer: Itís like...I canít shake this feeling...that someoneís trying to warn us.
Lunch breakís over, and for the next three hours, they sought for animals. Chandler Gould almost had his arm cut off by an eagle, so they had no choice, but to keep the lecture short, so they could tend Chandlerís wounds.Jason,Summer and Kevin bought smuggled KFC chicken from Rizz Keigh and sat near the base camp, while eating the chicken. They spent a rather fun ten minutes, trying to figure out who wrecked their cellphones.Summer wasnít much involved about the topic.She was just sitting there, listening to her iPod. After they finished their chicken, they planned to go inside the weird-shaped canyon, when...
Denzel (running up to them): Summer!Hey,Summer!
The three turned to face Denzel.He was holding Summerís iPod.
Denzel (hands over iPod): You forgot this.
Summer (puts iPod inside her pocket): Whatever.
Denzel:...I hope you donít get mad, but when I was running up to you, the headphones kinda dropped to the ground, so there might be dust on-
Summer: Are you saying...that you let my headphones get dusted?
Denzel: Well..Iím sorry-
Summer: Do you even know how much these headphones cost!?
Jason: Summer, give him a break. At least he gave your iPod back to you.
Denzel: No..sheís right. I should have taken better care of it.Sorry, Summer.
That precise moment, Mr.Zamoraís bell rang again.Everyone went back to base camp. Mr.Zamora faced all of them, looking serious.
Mr.Zamora: Some of you havenít been honest with me.
Kevin (whispering to Jason): Oh no.
Mr.Zamora: The principal called me about five minutes ago. It seems that some of you had not inform your parents about the trip nor you had really let them sign the reply slip. To those who did such a thing, I must say that I am very disappointed in you. You had not shown the true sophie spirit. But you are lucky that me and the principal will not punish you.But we are not sure about your parents.For the people who had not let their parents really sign the slip, you will have to go back to town.
Now, in fifteen minutes, you will get your bags and get inside the school bus, which will go back to Lakewater. If you will pretend that you have let your parents sign the slip, it will be pretty useless, because the principal had given me the list of students who had not asked permission.Now, go.
Summer: Now, youíre busted. Sorry, Jason.
Denzel and Marnie (faces Jason): You havenít let your parents sign the slip?
Jason: No, they didnít let me, after what happened last week.
Marnie: Wow, I guess weíre the same.
Jason: You too?
Marnie (nods): My parents wonít let me, so I snuck away. Now, Iím busted.
Summer: Well...I guess Iíll just have to see you two, tomorrow.
Jason (smiling): Oh,Iím not going.
Summer,Marnie and Denzel: Why?
Jason: Thanks to Kevin, weíve created Plan B, and its about time to launch it. Worse to worst, right, Kev?
Kevin: Yup, itís time.
Marnie: Whatís Plan B?
Kevin: My parents are realtors, right? Well, last month, I went inside their office.I was fucking bored, so I looked through some of the documents of houses. Then, I found out that thereís a house, a few miles, just about through those hills.
Jason: Since, Zamoraís busting me out, then Iím hiding inside the house.I think me and Kev are staying there about a day or two.
Summer: Have the two of you lost your minds?!Youíll get screwed by your parents!
Jason: I donít really care if my parents would ground me for centuries.
Kevin: But my parents said I can go to the field trip.But I havenít told them how many days weíll spend on the canyons. So tomorrow, theyíll think Iím still in the canyons, even though Iím in the house.
Denzel: Well...did your parents know that youíre also going to that house?
Kevin (uncomfortably): Well...no.I kinda stole the keys last week, while they werenít looking.
Jason: Listen, Kev, we have to get moving. (faces Denzel,Summer and Marnie) Listen, donít tell Zamora or anybody about this, okay?
Summer: ...Iím going with you two idiots.Itís boring here without you two,anyway.
Jason: Fine, you two-
Marnie: Iím going too, can I?I donít really want to go back to town just yet...
Jason (grinning): Really? I mean...Yeah, sure.
Denzel: ...Can I come,too?
Denzel: Iím bored out here.
Summer: Then go play basketball with your thickhead teammates.
Denzel: My parents are out of town for a month. I can call my driver to pick us up from the house anytime we want.
Jason and Kevin: All right!Youíre in!
Mr.Zamora (shouts): Seven minutes, people!Get-
About fifteen, sad-looking students walked inside the bus.
Jason (grinning): All right, hurry up, get your bags, get food, and lets go!
ACT NINE- THE VICTORIAN HOUSE
One hour later, the group climbs on a steep hill.They were far away from Mr.Zamora now.
They were tired as hell.
Summer: A few miles?A few fucking miles?!We could had make it to China by now!
Jason (sarcastically): Good job on keeping our spirits up, Summer.
Marnie: Can we stop for a few minutes?Iím really tired.
Kevin: I swear, weíre almost there!
Jason: Sorry,Kevin.We really got to stop for a few minutes.
Kevin: All right. You guys, wait here.Iíll try to find the house. (leaves)
While Kevin climbed down the hill, the rest sat down on some smooth boulders.
Marnie: Itís so hot. And Iím aching.
Marnie stretches her body. Jason watches Marnie, as she stretches.Her breasts were getting more visible.Summer notices what Jason was doing, and slaps him playfully on the head.
Summer (grins): Perv.
Jason: I was just...observing her exercise methods!
Summer: Uh-huh.As far as I know, you have a big chance that you can hook up with Marnie.
Jason: Summer, sheís got a boyfriend.
Jason: Sheís taken!
Summer: Listen, I saw you two together.You two were really into each other.Believe me, you have a big chance.
While Marnie was stretching, Denzel was sitting on a nice,flat boulder, texting.He was still looking at Summer.Summer notices this.
Summer: I think Iíll join Kevin.See you later, Jason.(leaves)
Jason: Yeah, sure.
Denzel: Er...Jason,can you come over here for a second?
Jason: Oh,yeah sure.
Jason sits with Denzel.
Denzel: Uh...do you..I mean, are you...and Summer....hooked?
Denzel: But you two are always together.
Jason: Iíve known Summer for like...eight years.Weíve always been close friends.
Denzel (relieved):Thatís great.So...is Summer really that...grouchy?
Jason:Eh...not always.Sometimes sheís nice.Sometimes sheís pisses as hell.Sheís a mystery.
Denzel (grins): Yeah..I guess so.
Jason: Why wonít you go for her?
Jason: Come on,dude.We always see you staring at Summer. Plus,you two had been hooked together before,right?
Jason: You know what I think?You came with us so you and Summer could hook up together again,right?
Denzel:Well,yeah.But I donít think me and her can be together again.Itís really all my fault.
Jason: Really?Why?What did you do?
Denzel: Itís really complicated.
Summer and Kevin came climbing up the hill.
Kevin: Iíve found it!Itís really close!
Jason: Way to go!Come on!
After a few minutes of climbing up and down, they finally found an outline of a grand looking house. A Victorian house. There was also a pond and an outhouse beside it.
Denzel: Everybody!Haul ass!
They ran to the house. They noticed that the pond was crystal clear. Marnie took a sip of the water.
Marnie: Hmm...itís fresh!
Jason: All right!We can swim there!
Summer: Kevin, unlock the fucking door!
Kevin did so, and opened the door.Everybody went inside. The living room was furnished with bedsheets covering the couch,the sofa chairs, and the table. There was a fine maple staircase, and a dark hallway, with three oak doors on each wall. But before you can say Ďgrandí,the floor was covered with gray dust and some pebbles, all the doors were shut, and giant spiderwebs invaded the ceiling.
Marnie: Well...this is comfy.
Summer: Sure...if youíre fucking Scooby-Doo.
Jason: Come on,itís not that bad.Right,Kevin?
Kevin:...Yeah.Itís not that bad.
Marnie: Come on.Letís pull off those sheets.
They did so. Both the couch,sofa chairs and table looked speck and span.
Denzel: Great...Now what do we do?
Kevin: We explore! The document said that the house had a really interesting history.
Jason: Hey,Kev, you mind telling us what was written on the document?
Kevin: Well,the house has been abandoned for years. Dad and momís real estate business tried to sell the house millions of times, but no one would take it.Even the hobos wonít take it.
Summer: Because the house is too shitty to live in?
Kevin: No, because youíre getting comfy here (chuckles).The document also said about some accident that happened here.
Summer: Great.Weíre in Leatherfaceís house.
Marnie: Come on, letís go explore.
So they did. In time, they found out that the first story had seven rooms. There was a bathroom, kitchen, cupboard room, dining room, a living room, an extra living room and a room, which was padlocked.
Marnie: Hey,Kevin! Do you have a key for this padlock?
Kevin: No. I only got the key to the front door.
Denzel: Come on, I want to see whatís upstairs.
Summer: Then go there by yourse-
Jason: Sure, letís go.
Upstairs had only six rooms. Another bathroom, 4 bathrooms and a door,which was stuck.
Denzel: This doorís worn out. We can break it. Jason, help me ram the door open.
Kevin: What about me?
Denzel: Uh,sorry, Kevin, but your arms, are kinda, well, scrawny.
Summer: Pathetic.Picking off players like another basketball game-
Marnie: Okay.Can we just ram the door open?
Jason: Thatís a good idea.
Denzel: All right.Get ready,Jason.Everybody,stand back.Okay,one,two,THREE!
The door is rammed open. It was a really weird room. It was like an old,worn out, surgical room. Scalpel,scissors,knife, and other weird,sharp, objects lay around dusty trays. There was a bunch of ropes lying around the floor.
Jason: This roomís kinda...fucked-up.
Marnie: You said it.
Kevin: This room kinda reminds me of something.Has anybody seen ĎHostelí?
Marnie: This room is creeping me out,guys.I think Iíll explore some more. (leaves)
Summer: Your loss.
As Marnie walked through the hallway, she felt a rather funny feeling. A feeling that sheís being watched. On the far corner of the room grabbed Marnieís attention. It was a medium-sized painting of a creepy,fat woman, dressed in a goth-black gown. Her dark eyes were staring at Marnie,so creepily, that it felt like the painting was indeed alive.
Marnie moved closer to the painting. There was something scribbled on the frame. It read ĎMADAM EILEEN BEASLEY. A WOMAN WITH GRACEFUL BEAUTY AND CHARMí.
Marnie: Ugh.Beauty?I advice a diet, Madam Beasley.
She walks away from the painting, and goes downstairs. Denzel,meanwhile, leaves the Ďsurgicalí room, and sees the painting.
Denzel: Woah.This is some fucked-up painting.
Madam Beasleyís eyes disappeared from the painting, leaving two black holes.
06-27-2007, 07:07 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90 Act 10-12
ACT TEN- DOWN THE BASEMENT
Later that afternoon, the group decided to swim in the pond. Marnie was right.The pond was surprisingly cool and fresh. Everybody had a good time, well, until...
Kevin: Hey guys!Letís play Marco Double Polo!
Summer: And what the hell is Marco Double Polo?
Kevin: You know, two people team up, and one person should be carried on the shoulders by the other person. When ĎPoloí tags you, naturally itís the bottom player, so the player on the top would fall down, when the bottom player is tagged. You get me?
Jason: I did not understand a word you said.But letís play, anyway.
Marnie: All right!Well,whoís Polo?
Kevin: Wait, letís team up first.
Marnie (to Jason): You want to be the bottom player?
Jason: No, I want to be the top
Marnie (grins): Great, youíll break my legs.
Kevin: All right, so that leaves me, Summer and Denzel.I think I should be Po-
Summer: No,Iíll be Polo.You team up with Denzel.
Kevin: No way!Iíll be Polo!
Summer: Come on,Kevin, Iím giving you a break!
Kevin: Summer, donít you think me getting carried by Denzel,is a little...well,gay?
Summer: Itís not gay.Itís...hot.
Kevin: Wait,I think I know how to settle this.Hey Jason!
Kevin: Who should be Polo?
Jason: ...I guess, you.
Kevin (grins): Case dismissed. Now, you team up with Denzel.
Summer: But-,but-.Ugh.Fine. Dipshit.
Marie climbs on Jasonís shoulders.Smirking, he just got turned on. Meanwhile, Summer clumsily climbs on Denzelís shoulders.
Summer (coldly): Donít make me fall.
Denzel: Oh...ok.No problem.
Marnie: Hey Kevin! Your eyes arenít covered!
Kevin: Itís okay. Iíll just close my eyes.
Jason: No,you wonít,cheater!
Summer: Use your towel!
Kevin: All right,fine!(ties towel on his eyes).All right,Marco!
Kevin (sarcastically): Haha,very funny.Marco!
Jason trips on a rock, and in a second, both he and Marnie came splashing down the waters. Both laughed.
Marnie (laughing): Klutz!
Jason playfully splashes water on Marnieís face.
Marnie (chuckling): Hey!
Kevin: All right, Marco!
Denzel also trips on a rock, and both he and Summer came splashing down the waters.But unlike Jason and Marnieís playful reaction, Summerís wet,mascara-splashed,face looked a lot like the White Witch.
Summer (angrily): Didnít I tell you to not let me fall!?What are you,stupid?!
Denzel: I...Iím sorry.I really a-
Jason: Summer! Can you help me bring out the chips?Now!
Summer obeys and follows Jason inside the house.Summer sits down on the couch, while Jason sat down on the table.
Jason: Would you give Denzel a break?
Summer: He made me fall!
Jason: Itís a fucking game, not an army boot camp training! Youíre always treating Denzel like heís some kind of dirty dog since yesterday! Would you give it a break?!
Summer: (sighs)...Why did you even bring the fuckbag here, anyway?To punish me?To make my day a living hell?
Jason: Summer, he can give us a ride back to town! This is not about you, itís about all of us!Our needs!
Summer: Iíd rather hitchhike than getting in a car with him. And please, donít be fake, Jason.
Jason (angrily): What did you say?
Summer: ĎItís not about you.Itís about all of us.Our needs!íOh please.This is about you! All of this,itís about you!Weíre in this house, not because to have a good time, but so you can hide from your parents and the authorithies here!
Jason: Iím not hiding,Summer!
Summer: Donít lie to me,Jason.I know you.Iím just saying that what you are doing is bad, and believe me, itís going to get ugly. (leaves)
After an half-hour of splashing around the pond, Kevinís eyes got a bit puffy, and decided to go back to the house. He dressed up inside. He lay down the couch, rubbing his eyes.
Kevin (mutters): I had to be Polo...
He then hears a soft,but creaky Kevin. He stands up.
Kevin: Whoís there?
No answer.Kevin lies again on the couch, and he hears Kevin again. Kevin stands up.
Kevin: All right,whoís shitting with me?Jason?Summer? I know itís you, guys.
He goes inside the kitchen, bathroom, but nobodyís there. But he did see something that surprised him a bit.The padlocked door, was open. There was no padlock lying around.
Kevin (mutters):...I guess Denzel or Jason mustíve knocked the door down.
Kevin goes inside, and nearly falls down. Fortunately, he holds off just in time. It was too dark to see anything. Heck, he didnít even see the staircase.
Kevin (mutters): Itís a basement.
The basement smelled damp, and felt damp. Sounds of running water were heard down. Kevin climbs down, and when his left foot touched the bottom stair, his slipper was soaked with cold water.
But he still climbed down, until he was standing on the flooded basement floor. Then, something touched his foot. It was a dead rat.
Nevermind. Anyway, he saw dark outlines of hollow blocks and broken pieces of wood. Then...Kevin.Kevin jumped with shock.He was scared now.
Kevin (shaky): O-okay, very funny,guys.Just,please, cut that out.P-p-lease, just cut that ou-Ah!
The shadow, hiding in the darkness, grabs Kevin, with his pitch black gloves, and his pitch black cloak dripping wet. He pulls out a knife from his pocket.
Kevin (screaming): Help!Please,help!Please!Oh,God,help!Help!He-
The shadow slits Kevinís throat brutally, and lets Kevin go from his grasp. Kevin painfully tries to scream, but it was no use. His blood was rushing out, and mixes with the dark,murky water.He then falls down to the floor, dead.
ACT ELEVEN- MEMORIES FROM THE PAST
It was already 8:00 pm. The sky was getting cloudier and darker. It looked like it was going to rain. The group were inside the house, eating junkfood. They were really getting worried about Kevin, while Denzel was talking to his friend, Aries, on the cell.
Summer (looks at window): Where could he be?We havenít seen him for like,hours.
Jason: He told us that he was going inside the house for a while.
Marnie: But heís not here.Weíve searched every room, well, except that padlocked room.
Summer: How can we? Itís still locked, and nobody hereís got the key.
Marnie: Well...maybe heís just out there, exploring.
Jason: Nah, itís dark. He dosenít like going outside the dark alone. Summer, you do remember every Halloween, Kevinís mom always pays us to go trick-or-treating with him because heís too scared to go out alone.
Summer (grins): Yeah. (makes a worried face). Iím really getting worried,Jason.
Jason: Me too.
Denzel (talking on the cell): Yeah, Iím at my house.Yeah, I didnít let my parents see the slip. Anyway, whatís the deal there? Oh?Yeah..can you wait for a minute? (faces Jason)Zamora told Leo that every police in townís looking for you.
Jason: Great. Weíre fucking fugitives.
Summer (faces Jason): So,whatís your plan,genius? Howíre you going to explain to your parents where have you been these past two days?
Summer:...You do know youíre screwed, right?
Jason:...Alright.What I did was a stupid decision.You happy now?
Denzel (talks on the cell): Iím back. Yeah?Really?Can you wait again?Okay, thanks. (faces everyone) Thereís a storm coming. Zamoraís trying to decide if the Sophomores will go back to town or not.
Marnie: Oh no.If Kevinís out there, then he dosenít have a clue about the storm!
Jason: God, I wish his cell wasnít broken.
Marnie: His cellís broken?
Summer: Yeah.Mine and Jasonís cellís broken too. Someone fuckbag did it.
Marnie: No way. My cellís broken too.
Marnie: Yeah. Someone broke in inside my bag and destroyed it.
Summer: This is too weird.
Jason: Iíll go out and find him.
Marnie: Iíll come with you.
Both stands up, and prepares to leave.
Jason (to Denzel and Summer): All right, you two. Me and Marnie are going outside to look for Kevin. You two try to double-check if Kevinís still here.
Summer: You sure you donít want to take Denzel with you?
Jason: This is so not the time, Summer. (faces Marnie).We have to hurry up, if we donít want to get drenched.
Jason: See you, guys.
Both Jason and Marnie leaves, leaving Summer and Denzel alone in the house. Summer sits down on the couch.Denzel also tries to sit on the couch, but...
Summer: You mind getting your ass out of the couch?
Denzel sits on the sofa chair, looking uncomfortable.
Denzel:...So...um...weíre alone in the house.
Summer: Unless you canít count, yes.
Denzel: So, you like-
Summer: Do me a favor.Donít talk bullshit, okay?
Denzel: Well..we were friends before, right?
Summer: Until your fucking head got too big from your fucking popularity.
Summer: Didnít I tell you before?Donít talk bullshit.
Denzel: Look, just here me out, okay? I just really want to apologize.Iím really sorry for abandoning you in that library last year. I really am-
Summer: I donít want to talk about it!
Denzel: Look, the guys said that they really needed me at that practice. I had no choice-
Summer: Oh, donít give me that crap! You and your fucking guys went to a party to have some orgy sex with those slut-faced cheerleaders!And did you what did you fucking do to me?You left me waiting at the library, with your fucking MVP player, who would kill me if I told anybody he raped me!
Denzel: Summer, you donít understa-
Summer: And what did you do, you useless fuck?You didnít do anything! And you expect that I would just forgive you easily?Did you even fucking know what that pain caused me?Huh?
Denzel: Summer...please forgive me.
Summer: Fuck you!You know what, little jock boy? I would never forgive you, and itís better that you just drop fucking dead! (runs out and leaves the house)
But Denzel knew that he couldnít stop her.
Denzel (sighing): This just fucking sucks.
Thirty minutes later, we join Jason and Marnie, who were still looking for Kevin. The sky was getting darker now. It was tiring, searching on the hills, the canyons for Kevin.
Jason and Marnie (shouting): Kevin!Kevin!Where are you?Kevin!
Marnie (sighing): Itís no use. Weíve been shouting for about an half hour.And itís going to rain soon.
Jason: (sighs)...All right, if he dosenít show up in ten minutes, then letís go back to the house. Come to think of it, he might be there right now.
Marnie: Okay.Ten minutes. Letís go.
They found a canyon with a patch of wildflowers inside of it.
Marnie: Wow.Theyíre beautiful.
Jason: Yeah, you-I mean, they are.
Both of them chuckled,. Jason then picks five wildflowers and gives it to Marnie.
Jason: For you.
Marnie (blushes): Thanks,Jason.Thatís so sweet.
Jason: Hey,no problem.Remember the time when I tried to give you a flower in preschool?Then it turned out to be poison ivy, and you keep scratching for weeks?
Marnie: Yeah.They had to bring you to the hospital. I visited you a couple of times, remember?
Jason: Oh yeah.
Marnie: Remember the time we had a play about Sleeping Beauty in Grade 1?I was Aurora and you were the prince?
Jason (grins): Yeah.When I kissed you when you were sleeping? How many seconds was that?30?
Marnie: Yeah,30. Ms. Lewn had to pull you off me because we were making the parents uncomfortable.(both laughs)
Jason: I guess your parents didnít like that.
Marnie: No, they didnít.
Jason moved closer to Marnie.
Jason: I really missed you. I cried when your family had to move away.
Marnie: Me too. And Iíve always remembered that kiss.
Jason: Me too.
Marnie: Why were you avoiding me when I moved back to town?
Jason: I guess...I thought you forgotten about me and you know...I thought you changed.
Marnie: Well, you guessed wrong. The main reason why I wanted to move back was to see you again.
Jason (smiles): Really?
Marnie (smiles): Really.
They moved closer to each other.
Marnie: Kiss me.
Jason: But...I thought you have a boyfriend.
Marnie: Heís 2000 miles away.Screw him.
And both kissed, as the rain started to falled down.
ACT TWELVE- THE FINAL MOMENTS OF DENZEL MERRIMAN
Ten minutes after Summer and Denzelís disastrous incident, and ten minutes before Jason and Marnieís romantic incident, we join Denzel inside the house. Summer was outside the house, exploring. Denzel was still miserable, but had nothing to do. He couldnít get near Summer now, after what happened. He was sitting on the bottom stair of the staircase, his hands on his face. He then hears Denzel. Denzel jumps, surprised.
Denzel: Kevin, is that you?
It sounded like it was coming from upstairs. Denzel climbed up the stairs. When he reached the second storyís hallway, he couldnít help but shiver. There was definitely a spooky aura in the house.
Denzel: All right, guys, stop fooling around.
Denzel went inside the masterís bedroom and the three other bedrooms, but there was nobody there.
Denzel (mutters): The surgical room.
Denzel goes near the surgical roomís door, his hand gripping the doorknob.
Denzel: Alright guys, I know youíre in there. You canít scare me.
The shadow appears out from the darkness, and grabs Denzelís head.
The shadow then slams Denzelís head on the brass doorknob, knocking Denzel unconscious.He then drags Denzelís body to the surgical room.
Denzel wakes up.His head was throbbing painfully.
Denzel (hoarsely): My head...oh my head.
.Heís obviously inside the surgical room.He was tied up by ropes, his arms and legs were stretched. The ropes were so thick, that Denzel couldnít break out of them.
Denzel (weakly): Summer...please...help me.
The shadow comes in the room. He goes to the trays, observing the weird tools.
Denzel: Let me go!Let me go, you sick fuck!Let me go!
The shadow picks up a weird, sharp, scalpel. Without any warning, he swishes to Denzel, and cuts off his lips quickly.Denzel screams in pain, as his lips fall to the floor.Blood was dripping everywhere on his face.
The shadow returns the blood-stained scalpel to the tray, and starts to choose another tool.
Denzel (sobbing): Aah!Help!
The shadow picks up a huge,sharp scissors and goes to Denzel.
Denzel (sobbing): No!Ah!Please!
The shadow then grabs Denzelís left middle finger. Then, with the scissors, he snips it off quickly. Denzel screams louder.Blood spurts out of his hand. The shadow returns the blood-stained scissors to the tray, and starts to choose another tool.
Denzel (crying): Please!Stop!What did I ever do to you?
The shadow picks up a hunting knife, and goes to Denzel.
Denzel (crying): P..p..please.Please!Stop!
The shadow then jabs the knife in Denzelís forehead, though not deeply. Denzel screams in pain, as the knife goes deeper and deeper in his skull.The shadow twirls the knife, making a wide hole on Denzelís forehead.The knife was touching the skull now.Denzel screamed so painfully, but to the shadow, it was music to his ears. The knife breaks in Denzelís skull, making a soft CRACK!, and a soft SQUISH. The knife has made its way in Denzelís brain. Denzel stops squirming.His corpse was covered in blood, and his lips and finger lay on the floor, blood oozing out of them. The shadow smiles, and jabs the knife more deeply, so the sharp edge of the knife dug its way on the back of Denzelís skull. The shadow then pushes the knife up, splitting Denzelís forehead into two, and making brain fluids oozing out of the splitted brain. The shadow smiles in relish, and goes out of the room, preparing to hunt for his next prey.
Fifteen minutes later, we find Summer, resting on a hill. She looked at the beautiful sight of the canyons, and found herself peace. Her mind kept having flashes of that dreadful incident.She couldnít even stand the thought of it.
Summer (muttering): Itís his fault. Itís all his fault.
She couldnít stand being with Denzel anymore.She plans to get her bag inside the house, and she will hitch hike back to town. It was the only way to be at peace. She stood up, and climbed down the hill, and walked back to the house. When she went inside, she couldnít help having this spooky feeling. She then hears a bloodcurdling scream. Her knees were shaking a bit.
Summer: Whoís there?Kevin?Are you fucking with me?
She then hears it.Summer.
Summer: All right,fuckjobs.Stop it.
She had a feeling that it was coming from upstairs.
Summer (mutters): You fucking scare me, Iíll fucking scare you.
She climbed upstairs.
Summer: All right,jokeís ove- Oh,my God..
Blood.A trail of bloody footsteps lead from the top stair, to the masterís bedroom.
Summer: What kind of game are you playing?
Hesitantly, she went inside the masterís bedroom. She took a deep breath, and turned the doorknob open, and went inside. When she looked at what was inside, she gave a terrifying scream. It was Denzel,lying on the bed, his brain making FLOP! FLOP! noises, and his arms and legs tied up.
Summer (screams): OH MY GOD!DENZEL!
The shadow steps out behind the door, his bloody knife clutched in his hand, and faces Summer. Summer screams frantically.
Summer: AAH!GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!
She runs out of the door, and climbs down the staircase, but the shadow was faster than her. He catched up with her, and slashes her back.Summer howls painfully, and tumbles down.
Summer (gasping): Aah-ow.GET AWAY FROM ME!
The shadow prepares to strike the knife through Summerís eye, but Summer thinks quickly, and kicks the shadow hard in the shins.
The shadow makes a quiet moan, and falls down, holding his shins. Summer runs downstairs,screaming.
Summer (screams): HELP!OH GOD, HELP ME!
She then hears a faint swishing movement. The shadow was running downstairs. Summer then takes the chance to go out the front door. She opens the doorknob, and was about to go outside, but the shadow grabs her hair,hard, and tries to pull her inside. She shrieks, and she grabs the doorknob outside, to try to prevent the shadow from pulling her in easily. There, she screamed so loudly, that her scream reached for miles.
Summer (loudly): HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPP!!!!
The shadow successfully pulls her inside.She lets go off the doorknob, but when her hand was getting pulled inside, the shadow slams the door, hard, and Summerís left thumb falls to the floor.Blood oozes out of the thumb, while Summer screams.
06-27-2007, 07:11 PM
Join Date: Jun 2007
90 Act 13-15
ACT THIRTEEN- The Bloodhouse
Five minutes after Jason and Marnieís little romantic moment, they were looking for Kevin inside a molten canyon, when they heard Summerís bloodchilling scream.Both of them looked frightened.
Marnie: You heard that?!
Jason: Itís Summer.Somethingís wrong.We have to go back.
Marnie: D-donít you think we should go back to the base camp, and call for help?
Jason:Er...donít you think they left already?Didnít Denzel said that there was a 50-50 that they might or might not leave?
Marnie: I donít care. Letís go to the camp!
Jason: Are you shitting me? Do you know what will happen if Zamora will find me there?
Marnie: Jason, this is about your friend. This isnít about you! She needs our help!
Jason: No!We are not going back to the camp!We have to go to the house,now!If we keep doing this, who knows what will happen there?Come on!
Marnie(grimly): You were not the man I thought you were, after all.Fine,letís go.
As the rain kept falling harder and harder,both ran from hill to hill, and after several minutes, they saw the distant outline of the house, and the flickering waters of the pond.
Jason (running): There it is!Run faster, Marnie!
Marnie (out of breath): Iím..trying!
They finally reached the house.Both were soaking wet. The house looked a lot scary now.But...
Marnie (points at the pond): Jason...look.
Jason (looks at pons): Marnie,what is it-...What the fuck?
Blood.There was a blood on the pond.
Marnie: Is this some sick joke your friends made?
Jason: No, they would never do this, believe.Somethingís really fucked up on, lets go inside.
Jason: Marnie, this is no time to be afraid.
Jason: Marnie,please.Nothing badís going to happen. Now lets go.
Jason pulls Marnieís, arm inside the house.There was no trace of a struggle inside the house. No bloody footprints.No anything. But, the basement door was open, and, the closet door in the extra living room was open.
Jason and Marnie: Summer!Denzel!Kevin!
No answer. Then..
Jason (sniffing): Whatís that smell?
Marnie: I think itís coming from the kitchen.
Jason: Come on.
Both goes inside the kitchen. The stove was on, and there was a metal pot,boiling. Curious, Jason opened the cover of the pot. Inside was something fleshy.It was an body organ, obviously, but unbeknownst to Jason and Marnie, it was human brain.
Marnie: What is that?
Jason: Beats me. Turn off the stove.Letís keep moving.
Marnie obeyed and turned off the stove. They walked in the hall. Marnie grabbed Jasonís hand.
Marnie (whispers): Iím really scared.
Jason: Donít worry,nothingís going to hurt you. I promise.
They now noticed that the basement door was open.
Jason: Thatís weird.Itís open.I guess Kevin got it open.
Marnie: No, he told me the only key he had with him was the key for the front door.
Jason looks closely at the dark basement, and finds out that itís a basement.
Jason: Marnie, itís a basement.
Jason: I donít know. But thereís something going on down there, I know on, letís go down.
Marnie (fearfully): No...please,Jason,no. I canít stand the dark.
Marnie: I donít care what you say.Iím not going down there.
Jason: Alright,fine. Go wait here. And if you see or hear something strange, call me.
Jason goes down the basement, while Marnie stood there, shaking.
Marnie: What do you see down there?
Jason: I can barely see anything. Do you have a flashlight, or something? Marnie: Yeah.Itís in my bag, at that other living room.Iíll go get it.
Marnie goes inside the extra living room, where she saw all of the groupís bags on the couch. She saw Denzelís cellphone, and a couple of Lays ,on the oak table. When she pulled out her flashlight from her bag, she smelled something rotting. It was coming from the closet door.
Marnie (covers her nose): Ugh.What is that?
She went inside the closet, but it was too dark to see anything.And the smell was getting stronger and stronger.
Jason (shouting distantly): Marnie, hurry up with that flashlight!
Marnie (shouting): Uh...okay!
But she was too curious to see what was inside. She turned on the flashlight, and pointed it to the closet.Then, she screamed. It was Heatherís decaying corpse, hanged by a hanger on the closet, her stomach carved out, leaving a deep,wide,bloody hole. There was a dead rat on her mouth.
Marnie:OH GOD!JASON, OVER HERE!AHH!
At that moment, the shadow comes out behind the couch, and creeps behind Marnie.His knife was ready to strike through Marnieís flesh. Fortunately, Jason runs to the room, and sees the shadow creeping behind Marnie.
Jason (screams): MARNIE!DUCK!
Marnie ducks in time just as the shadow slashes his knife horizontally. Jason runs in full speed, and pounces on the shadow.
Jason (punches the shadow): Marnie!Run!
But Marnie was too scared to obey. She stood on the doorway, her body shaking hard, and sobbing. The shadow was much more skilled in fighting, so it was not really hard at all, fighting Jason.The shadow punches Jasonís head, hard.
The shadow drags the unconscious Jason, and drags him out of the doorway. Marnie gets out of the way.The shadow then throws Jason on the front porch. While the two were outside, Marnie makes a move, and locks the door, locking the shadow out of the house.
She then crawls to the bottom stair, scared to death.
Marnie: Oh God, help me.
The shadow thuds loudly on the door.After a few thuds, there was a CLICK!, and the shadow slowly turns the doorknob.
Marnie (whispers):Oh God!Heís got Kevinís key!
Marnie whimpered and sobbed as the shadow entered the door, looking pleased. He had his knife raised up in the air. He moved towards the cowering Marnie. Then, Marnie came back to her senses, and ran to the kitchen. The shadow chased her. But, thankfully, Marnie closed and locked the door shut. The shadow rammed the door twice, and in the third time, the door broke open. The shadow enters the kitchen. Then..CLANK!, Marnie, with the metal pot clutched on her hands, comes out of hiding, and slams the pot on the shadowís head.The shadow tumbles to the floor, unconscious. Marnie sighs in relief, and goes out of the front door, to attend to the unconscious Jason.
Marnie (shakes Jason hard): Jason!Jason!Wake up!Wake up!
Jason (dazily): Wha-
Marnie (hugs Jason tightly): Oh, thank God!Youíre okay!
Jason (muffled): Marnie!I canít breathe!
Marnie (lets go of Jason): Oh, sorry.
Jason:Wha-Marnie,the killer!Where is he?!
Marnie: Itís all right. I killed him.Heís inside the kitchen. Listen, can we go back to the campsite?
Jason: ...Fine.But what if theyíre not there?
Marnie:...Listen, I saw Denzelís cellphone in that another living room. I can call Zamora and the police for help.
Jason: Good idea.Help me stand up.
Marnie helps Jason stand up.
Marnie: Easy,easy.There we go.
Jason: on, letís get the cell-
Marnie: No, Iíll get it.
Marnie: Stay here.
Marnie goes inside the house, and goes to the extra living room to get the cellphone, while Jason was outside. But, Jason couldnít shake this feeling that thereís something wrong. So he goes inside the house.
Jason (weakly): My head.Oh,my head.
He then stumbles inside the kitchen. He gasped. The shadow was gone, leaving drops of blood on the ground.
Jason (horrified): Oh no.Oh no,Marnie!
He ran to the extra living room, and was in for a shock.The shadow grips Marnie on the throat,covering her mouth, and licking her face.His mouth was the only thing visible, while the rest of his face was covered.Marnie whimpers in fear.
Jason: LET GO OF HER!
The shadow stopped licking Marnieís face, and faces Jason,smiling. There was something in that smile that looked really familiar.
Jason: Please...just let of her.She didnít do anything.Take me instead.Please...
The shadow just looked at him, smiling.For a moment,he looked like he would let Marnie go, but quickly, he grabbed another weapon inside his cloak.A large,rusty machete. He then slashes Marnieís hips so deeply, that he slashes it off her body. Blood sprayed everywhere on the room, including all over Jason.Marnie stopped moving. Jason, watches in shock as the shadow cut Marnie apart.The shadow then drops Marnieís upper half on the ground.
Jason (horrified): NO!NO!NO!
The shadow smiled twistedly at him, and licked off Marnieís blood all over his cheeks. He then covers his mouth up, leaving his face completely hidden in the black veil. He then throws the machete on Jason, making a rather deep wound on Jasonís chest. Jason howls in pain. The shadow then walks towards Jason, preparing to make his kill, but Jason,quick thinkingly, got up, and ran as fast as his legs could, and narrowly misses the shadow. He runs out of the door, and runs outside, towards the canyons, as the rain rages on.
ACT FOURTEEN- A Way Out
As the storm rages on and on, Jason ran for what seemed like miles.He ran from hill to hill, and from canyon to canyon. He didnít noticed how far he was from the house, since the bloodcurdling events was still on his mind, playing again and again. And so, many minutes later, he reached the campsite. But to his shock and frustration, the site was empty. There were no sleeping bags, no tents, no anything. Just empty junk food, and a washed out campfire. There were no people there, just him.
Jason (frustrated): They left.THEY FUCKING LEFT!
He then shouts...
Jason (shouts): HELP!PLEASE HELP!HELP!!!
No answer.Jason kneeled to the ground, frustrated. He was so drenched, that his clothes were getting heavy.
Jason: Marnie..Oh my god, Marnie...
After a couple minutes of mourning, he realized he needed help, fast. He then remembered Denzelís cell.
Jason: Denzelís cell.Where is it?!
He then remembered that it was still in the another living room, along with Marnie and Heatherís corpses, and the shadow, lurking somewhere in the house.
Jason: I canít go back. I canít!
But he knew he had no choice. It was the only way. He stood up, and ran back to the house. It was difficult this time around. The rain was pushing against him. But finally, he reached the house.
Jason: I canít go pass that door, or Iíll get hacked up. I have to get in by those windows.
He crouched, and tested every window, if they were open. But, unfortunately, they were shut tight. Thankfully, the kitchen window was a bit loose, so he, carefully and quietly, opened the window, and slid inside.
It was weird. There was still drops of blood on the floor, and the potís on the stove again, boiling.He snuck outside the kitchen, and through the hall. He went inside the extra living room. The smell of decay was getting stronger and stronger.
Jason (covers his nose): Ugh.
The room was covered in blood. Blood on the couch.Blood on the backpacks.Blood on the table.Blood on everything.There, on the ground, was Marnie, eyes wide with fear, dead.Her intestines were spilling on the ground. For Jason, it was so painful and so difficult to look at. His eyes watered in tears. He closed Marnieís eyes, so she could look peaceful, instead of scared.
Jason (crying): Iím so sorry.
He then looks away from Marnie, and tries to find the cell. He found it under the couch. He then proceeded to dial the only people he could think of: 911.
One ring..Two rings...Then..
Woman: 911.How can we help you?
Jason (stutters): Hello.This is Jason Mcguire.
Woman: Hello, Mr.Mcguire.How can we help you?
Jason: ...Iím..Iím..stuck in a house near the Lakewater Canyons, and...
Jason (sobbing): Theyíre dead!Theyíre all dead!Marnie, Heather Rayne, and the rest, theyíre dead. Theyíre someone in here.Please, Iím not kidding around. I just need help.
Woman: Someone killed them, sir?
Jason: Yes,yes.Heís inside the house, I know it.Heís hiding.
Woman: Sir, where is your location?
Jason: In the house.Itís on the Lakewater Canyons. Itís behind the hills.
Woman: Sir...is this house youíre referring to...is it the Beasley house?
Jason: What?Yes,yes,the Beasley house.
Woman: Okay sir. The police will arrive there in about five minutes. For your own safety,sir, get out of that house. Stay as far as away from it as you can. Wait till the police to arrive, okay?
Jason: Yes.Just get them here quick-
He stopped. He felt something creeping behind his back. He dodged left.For a quick second, he saw a machete struck on the floor. The shadow grabs Jasonís neck, and tries to strangle him.
Jason (gagging): Let...go..of..me.
He reached his hands towards the shadowís face, and crushed one of his eyeballs.The shadow stopped strangling Jason, and held his eye. Jason runs towards the front door.To his dismay, the doorknob was broken.He pushed the door, but it was no use. It was locked. He could hear the swish of the shadowís cloak. He ran upstairs, and went inside one of the bedrooms.He locked the door, and hid under the bed. He heard silent footsteps walking towards the hall. He heard doors open and closed. Finally, he hears the shadow trying to open the bedroom door. Horrified, Jason kept silent, and stayed put. Then, he heard the door click open.
Jason (thinks): Where does he get those keys?!
The door opens. He sees the feet of the shadow. Too afraid, Jason closes his eyes.After a few tense seconds, he hears the door close.
Jason (thinks): Is he gone?
One way to find out. As he tried to crawl out of the bed, SLASH! The machete slashes through the mattress, and narrowly misses Jasonís left foot by inches. Jason, with all his might, throws the bed over the left, knocking over the shadow. He ran downsteairs, and tried to open all the windows, but they wouldnít open. The shadow even shut the kitchen window tight.
There was no chance of getting out, unless...
Jason: The basement!
While Jason was down the basement, he hardly saw a thing, but he did see a dark, outline of a door. He guessed that it leads up on the back of the house.
Jason ran towards the hall, and goes inside the basement. The rain obviously flooded the basement, since the water level looked like it was 4-6 feet. There still were hollow blocks all over the basement, and there were some sharp pieces of wood, floating around. There was a dark outline of a fusebox, with long,thin wires, next to the door leading up to the back of the house. There was also a staircase that leads to the door, very much like the basement door.As Jason tries to swim to the door, he hears the basement door creaked open. Frustrated, Jason hides near the hollow blocks. He heard footsteps coming down the stairs, then splash, and crash. The shadow was knocking things over. He was trying to find Jason. Jason crouched, and felt something touching his leg. He looked, and gasped loudly, loud enough for the shadow to hear. Jason looked over Kevinís corpse. As the shadow moved towards the hollow blocks, Jason was ready. He pushed the hollow blocks towards the shadow, crashing him down the water. Jason then stomps on the shadowís head.
Jason: Hope that cracks your fucking skull, YOU SICK FUCK!
The shadow acts quickly, and brings Jason down with him, hitting Jason on the head with a broken hollow block.
Jason (painfully): OW!
The shadow then punches Jason hard on the head. Jason knocks down. The shadow tries to find his machete, and luckily for Jason, he didnít see Jason standing up, and clutching a sharp shard of wood on his fist. He then slashes the wood on the shadowís back. Blood stained the cloak.The shadow, without making a single sound, falls to the ground. Jason makes a move, fast. He climbs on the doorís stairs, and goes nearer to the fuse box.He still has the wood with him. He opens the fusebox, and the thin, long wires, fell out of the fusebox, and dropped on the flooded ground.He turns every switch on the fusebox, on. The shadow stands up, and goes to the stairs,but barely making towards the bottom stair, as Jason kicks the shadowís head. The shadow falls down again.
Jason,with the sharp shard of wood, cuts the wires, and lets the exposed wires fall on the floor. CACKLE,CACKLE, was the only thing heard in the room. The shadow was shaking, his cloak letting out smoke. The shadow was being electrocuted. After a long moment of silence, the shadow stopped moving. By then, Jason let out a relieved sigh. He climbed on the bottom stair, and his his left foot touched on the shadowís head. When he tried to kick the veil out of the shadowís face, to finally see his shocking identity, the shadow, out of nowhere, (more likely,the shadowís right arm) grabbed Jasonís leg, and pulls it down.
Jason falls down, and hits his head on the stair, and is knocked unconscious.
ACT FIFTEEN- Far From Over
Jason wakes up, and gasps. The mid orange afternoon sky ligthted upon him. He was lying on a chair, outside the house.
He hears splashing noises, and to his surprise, Marnie, Summer, Denzel, and Kevin were swimming on the pond. They were alive. Marnie climbed out of the pond, and goes to Jason, looking worried.
Marnie: What happened, sweetie? Had a bad dream?
Jason: Wha-What happened?
Marnie: You got tired of swimming, and you had a nap. Look, youíre still wet.
Jason saw that he was in his boxers, wet.
Marnie: You sure youíre all right?
Kevin (calling): Donít worry about it. Jasonís just got his head in the retard world. (chuckles)
Summer (sarcastically): Haha,funny joke,Kev.
Summer definitely changed. She got rid of her emo look. She was as pretty as Marnie.
Jason: Summer! What ha-
Summer: Is there something wrong, Jason?
Denzel: Yeah, dude. Your face looks kinda weird.
Jason (smiling): No, Iím fine. Iím definitely fine.
Marnie: Okay.Well, just relax, okay?Oh, and your parents called. Theyíll expect us to go home tomorrow.
Jason: What?! My parents know about this? What about the field trip?
Kevin: What field trip?
Denzel: Weíre joyriding, remember?
Summer: Didnít your parents say you can go?
Jason: Yeah...I guess so.
Summer: Whatever.Youíre not really in the right mind, right now.
Jason: Yeah.I guess so. Just a nightmare. A really weird nightmare.
Marnie: Okay. You just rest,okay?
Kevin (shouting): Hey! Can someone get the chips?
Jason: Iíll do it!
Kevin: Okay. But donít eat all of it! (chuckles)
Jason: Donít worry. I wonít.
Jason goes inside the house. There were plates nachos, chips, spaghetti,french fries on the living room table.
Jason (mutters): It was just a nightmare.Thank God, it was just a nightmare.
Jason gets the plate of chips, and goes outside.
Jason: Hey,guys!Hereís the- (gasps)
There was blood all over the pond.
He goes to the pond, and waddles his hand in the water, trying to grab any sign of them.
Jason: No, it canít be. Guys!Where are- AAHH!!!
Marnie comes out of the water, only to appear as a rotting,walking corpse. Her cold, bony hands grabs Jasonís hand,and pulls him in the water. Jason splashes, trying to get out.
Jason tastes the blood on the pond. He sees all of his friends, all horrible-looking ghouls, smiling evily at him. Then they open their mouth, revealing a sharp jaw of teeth. Then they charge at Jason, eating his flesh, as Jason screams in pain.
Chief Bragen: Wake up!Wake up, son!
Jason opens his eyes. He sees Chief Bragen, shaking him to wake up.They were outside the house. About five police cars, and three ambulance were parked outside the house.
Chief Bragen: You all right?
Jason didnít give any answer.
Chief Bragen: Let me say this again, boy. Are you all right?
Jason nods weakly. Bragen gives a relieved sigh.
Chief Bragen: Thought you lost your tongue. I woke you up meself. Looked like you had one hell of a dream there, boy.
Jason: Y-y-yeah. One hell of a dream.
Chief Bragen clicks his tongue.
Jason: What happened, Chief?Oh, my head...
Chief Bragen: We came here just in time. You werenít breathing, luckily we know CPR, so we rescued ya.
Jason:..Sir!My friends, are they all-
Chief Bragen bowed down his head, looking a bit sad.
Chief Bragen slowly nodded.
Jason: All of them?
Chief Bragen nodded again.
Jasons bows his head down, overcome with pain.
Chief Bragen: Weíve been looking for you everywhere in town, boy. Your parents were really worried. And you, you shouldnít had come here, to get trapped by the sick fuck.
Jason: Youíre right.
Jason puts his hands on his face.
Jason: How could I had been so stupid?
Chief Bragen (pats Jason in the back): Now,now.The harmís done.
Jason puts his hands down, and faces the Chief. He looked serious.
Jason: Did you catch the killer?
Chief Bragen: Yes. Heís still unconscious. The coroners are examining him in that basement, as we speak.
Jason:Wait...unconscious?So heís -
Chief Bragen: Still alive. Yes.
Jason: Well...do they know who it is?
Chief Bragen: Afraid not, boy.
There seems to have something in that cloak and veil of his that absorbs electricity. We canít touch him. We might get fucking fried like a KFC chicken. We canít identify him just yet.But I can assure you, whoever he is, heíll face a lifetime imprisonment in prison.
Jason slowly nods.
Chief Bragen: Okay, now Iíll escort you to the police car. Iíll return you home to your parents.
Both stands up. A black police man goes up to Chief Bragen.
Man: Sir, Inspector Dupinís coming in five minutes.
Chief Bragen: Great. Another wise fuckjob. Well, heíll be in charge for a while, until I get back.You got that?
Man: Yes, sir. (leaves)
Chief Bragen: Well, come on, Jason.
Jason (quietly): Okay.
Both goes inside the police car, with Chief on the driverís seat, while Jasonís in the back seat.
Chief Bragen: Settled in?
Chief Bragen: All right.Letís go.
And, though not for the last time, they drive off and leave the house, not knowing that the nightmareís far from over.
Five minutes later, a black Mustang is parked next to the house. A fifty year old man steps out of the car. He had an aura of roughness.The black police man greets him.
Man: Good evening, Inspector Dupin.
Inspector Dupin: ...What, you just standing there? What are you waiting for, a tip? Lead me to the fucking murder scene.
They went inside the another living room. Marnie and Heatherís corpses were now covered in bodybags. Marnieís blood was still all over the walls.
Inspector Dupin: Tsk..tsk..tsk. Whereís the killer?
Man: Come with me, sir.
They left the living room, and faced the basement door.
Inspector: Inside there?
Man (jokingly): You afraid of the dark, sir?
He made a mistake. Dupin went nearer to the police man, so near, that they were almost touching each otherís noses.
Inspector Dupin: Are you fucking with me?Do you want me to rip off your fucking badge?
Man (scared): No, sir.
Inspector Dupin: Then why are you being a fucking smart mouth, huh?
Man: Sorry, sir. Follow me, sir.
The police man and Dupin goes downstairs. The basement was now lit with candles. There were two coroners downstairs, examining the shadowís body.Dupin sees them.
Inspector Dupin: Are you stupid? Take off that ridiculous veil, for Godís sake.
Male Coroner: Sorry sir, but this ainít a normal veil. Itís absorbing electricity. Itís a special kind of veil. We canít touch it. We might get electrocuted.
InspectorDupin looks at the shadowís body closely.
Inspector Dupin: Stubborn fuckbags. All right, just donít let that body get away, hear me?
Female Coroner: Not a problem, sir.
Inspector Dupin (imitates Female Coronerís voice): Not a problem, sir.
Inspector Dupin (normal voice): All right, show me the victimsí bodies.
Man: Right away, sir.
Both leave, leaving the two coroners alone.
Female Coroner: Can you believe that shithead?Who does he think he is?
Male Coroner: Careful. Heís the big deal. He could our asses to maximum security prison for no reason.
Female Coroner: Ugh.
Male Coroner: Anyway, can you borrow the fireproof gloves that police woman wore earlier, when she came down here? It might he-
The shadow suddenly raises his arm, and rips out the male coronerís adamís apple.The male coroner drops to the floor, blood coming out of his throat.
Female Coroner (terrified): AAHH!AH-
The shadow grabs a sharp piece of wood, and and stabs it through the female coronerís head. She also falls to the floor, dead.
Every police man heard the screams, especially Inspector Dupin.
Inspector Dupin: The basement.
He goes down the basement, along with the black police man. The black police man gasps. They see the coronersí dead bodies, lying on the floor, but it wasnít the reason for the police manís gasp.
Inspector Dupin (mutters): Weíre dealing with something worse here.
The shadowís body is gone.
TO BE CONTINUED IN... 180
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