life swings in roundabouts
take a loud spark (awkward)
it lights up (yup?)
fireworks sucks (I hate colloquialisms in poetry, they undermine any serious point. Don't use them)
the swish strikes sounds ("strike" singular)
in laminate (why laminate? I may be wrong, but that is specific to florring? WTF)
light agitates (sort of, agitates suggests flickering but is awkward)
a candle meditates (sort of, can a candle meditate? in better context, yes, but in this, no
darkness is bright. (This Juxtaposition is not earned).
As usual I am harsh but honest. I truly wish I could be harsh and honest and positive, alas this is largely tripe.
Well, I am here if you wanna kick me in the balls.