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  #1  
Old 09-15-2018, 04:28 PM
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spin the wheel
and life may not be
near
unless
secretly
and out of the blue
it wants to be true
you and
I
and with the measure of time
wishing to be due
it is almost clear
fear wouldn't steer
we will always be here.

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a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind

Last edited by Nacia; 09-15-2018 at 04:30 PM..
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Old 09-15-2018, 04:33 PM
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Somebody get me a chair...Nacia wrote a poem that has a resonance with me...and it made SENSE

You're either getting good at this...or I'm descending into the same madness.

Seriously...well done girl. x
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  #3  
Old 09-16-2018, 11:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
Somebody get me a chair...Nacia wrote a poem that has a resonance with me...and it made SENSE

You're either getting good at this...or I'm descending into the same madness.

Seriously...well done girl. x
Grace so glad you like this one
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a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind
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  #4  
Old 09-22-2018, 05:09 PM
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very elegantly worded. a great sense of togetherness. maybe add something about timing? how bout it nacia?
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  #5  
Old 09-22-2018, 05:18 PM
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Are you two fucking insane?

spin the wheel (yes, great start)
and life may not be (may not be what? Oh new line, my mistake)
near (why is this a line unto itself??)
unless (why a line unto itself?) O h fuck this, one moment.
secretly
and out of the blue
it wants to be true
you and
I
and with the measure of time
wishing to be due
it is almost clear
fear wouldn't steer
we will always be here.

Ok..

spin the wheel (great first line..)
and life may not be near (not sure what this means)
unless secretly (shhh)
and out of the blue (ooh, exciting..)
it wants to be true ("it" what who, where why when? WTF is "it"?)
you and I (yes, us...)
and with the measure of time (what? this is a random topic change? We were discussing... oh nevermind)
wishing to be due (are we now pregnant? What happened?)
it is almost clear (it most certainly is not...)
fear wouldn't steer (are we on a boat now?)
we will always be here. (Okay, not sure who "we" are anymore)

Ok this is your choice. You have had two strangely positive reviews, and then mine. Pick the ones you like the most, but for me this is a mess.
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Old 09-22-2018, 05:35 PM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
very elegantly worded. a great sense of togetherness. maybe add something about timing? how bout it nacia?
chat bot thank you for the lovely comment.
Timing? why not! just for you
I will see if I can add to it.
__________________
a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind
Reply With Quote
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