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Life, I Guess

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  #1  
Old 10-04-2018, 02:40 PM
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Default Life, I Guess



I am alive, I wager,
There are Flowers in my Hands—
Full of crimson and white Carnations,
And at the cusp of my Wrist—

The Puer—tickles hot—
And if I rake a Cup
Upon my Dry Lips—it blurs it—
Like a good warning or animation;

I am alive—simply
As I am never in the House—
The Rooms are for the Guests
So that Ghosts may come—

And bend—and twist—and veer
And say 'How chilly the day got!'
And 'Was I conscious—when it stopped?'

I am alive—carefully
Once the day goes navy Blue—
Entitled to my ways—precise—
Befitting no one Other—

And spell my Maiden name—
So Visitors may fill in—
Whose Door is ours—and not another.—

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Old 10-05-2018, 01:46 AM
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This is great work chat. Your poetry is so distinctive, such a strong voice. Like the imagery here, all the stuff about ghosts and empty rooms.
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  #3  
Old 10-05-2018, 12:10 PM
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First up, I prefer a coma or stop, but that is personal preference... ok...

I am alive, I wager,
There are Flowers in my Hands—
Full of crimson and white Carnations,
And at the cusp of my Wrist—

The Puer—tickles hot—
And if I rake a Cup
Upon my Dry Lips—it blurs it—
Like a good warning or animation; (liked it all, this line stuck in my throat a little)

I am alive—simply
As I am never in the House—
The Rooms are for the Guests
So that Ghosts may come—

And bend—and twist—and veer
And say 'How chilly the day got!'
And 'Was I conscious—when it stopped?' (When did it stop?)

I am alive—carefully
Once the day goes navy Blue—
Entitled to my ways—precise—
Befitting no one Other—

And spell my Maiden name—
So Visitors may fill in—
Whose Door is ours—and not another.— (The Doors?)

I enjoyed this, but could be tidied up in localised areas. Thanks for the read.
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Old 10-05-2018, 08:17 PM
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thanks for reading guys
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