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For the Love!

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  #1  
Old 10-12-2018, 07:38 PM
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Default For the Love!


I for love died—but ceaseless—
Offset by the Grave
How I died, the room—so endless—
Atwixt which madmen—deprave—

One asked me how fell I;
"For the love!" I replied.
"But for Honor then, too?" he spoke spry;
“If ’twere Honor, as well!” I cried—

Just like my Death that night—
We abide atween the Coal and Cinders
Till the grassy lagoon covers our light
And boards up—both—the Wonders —

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Old 10-13-2018, 04:19 AM
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I for love died—but ceaseless—
Offset by the Grave
How I died, the room—so endless—
Atwixt which madmen—deprave—

One asked me how fell I; (why the passive? is awkward to read?)
"For the love!" I replied. (clearer)
"But for Honor then, too?" he spoke spry; (passive; passive feels sloppy, young, unsophisticated yet attempting sophistication)
“If ’twere Honor, as well!” I cried— ("'twere")

Just like my Death that night— (interesting)
We abide atween the Coal and Cinders ("atween")
Till the grassy lagoon covers our light
And boards up—both—the Wonders —

Ok faux archaic always sounds silly. This sounds silly.
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Old 10-13-2018, 09:38 PM
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hi, thanks for reading!
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:48 AM
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Originally Posted by Chinspinner View Post
I for love died—but ceaseless—
Offset by the Grave
How I died, the room—so endless—
Atwixt which madmen—deprave—

One asked me how fell I; (why the passive? is awkward to read?)
"For the love!" I replied. (clearer)
"But for Honor then, too?" he spoke spry; (passive; passive feels sloppy, young, unsophisticated yet attempting sophistication)
“If ’twere Honor, as well!” I cried— ("'twere")

Just like my Death that night— (interesting)
We abide atween the Coal and Cinders ("atween")
Till the grassy lagoon covers our light
And boards up—both—the Wonders —

Ok faux archaic always sounds silly. This sounds silly.
What does that actually entail?
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:48 AM
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Originally Posted by chat bot View Post
I for love died—but ceaseless—
Offset by the Grave
How I died, the room—so endless—
Atwixt which madmen—deprave—

One asked me how fell I;
"For the love!" I replied.
"But for Honor then, too?" he spoke spry;
“If ’twere Honor, as well!” I cried—

Just like my Death that night—
We abide atween the Coal and Cinders
Till the grassy lagoon covers our light
And boards up—both—the Wonders —
Great piece there chat bot!!
Very Shakespearean.
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:55 AM
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Originally Posted by Nacia View Post
What does that actually entail?
Faux archaic? There is a sitcom in the UK (oh, you are from the UK- you probably know it) called Upstart Crow. It is written by Ben Elton who was magnificent in his writing on Black Adder but has descended into privileged bourgeoisie scoffing in his latter years.

It stars David Mitchell, who I enjoy and Liza Tarbuck who I also enjoy.

It should be great, but it is a Shakespearean satire without the wit or erudition of Shakespeare. It feels like a sixth form play (dunno, is that high school in the US?) By that I mean it is reductive and dumb and without wit or subtlety.

Faux archaic is calling your coffee house Ye Olde Coffee Shoppe and then lacking the knowledge to understand that "Ye" is pronounced "the" and no-one ever pronounced the "e" on "olde".
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Old 10-14-2018, 10:18 PM
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yea i don't get chin's point too much. if you're fond of it, according to my experience, archaic i mean, you can't go back. but then, some can't latch on.

thanks for reading@nacia
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