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hope

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  #1  
Old 10-12-2018, 04:20 PM
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Default hope


love is adorable
when it seeks
approval
I DO
is the oracle
to the make up radical
art is magical

but it is removal
to the few
unlucky in the view
that break up is true
and so
hope is to practice
till time is an artist
to all and that's fantastic.

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a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind

Last edited by Nacia; 10-12-2018 at 04:25 PM..
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:22 PM
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Like I said...your spelling is impeccable
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:23 PM
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Play more Grace, while I type
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Grace Gabriel View Post
Like I said...your spelling is impeccable
LOL all in good time LOL
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a lesson in
life is a pound
in sound
it reminds us
it is expensive a fine
so bear one
in mind
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:30 PM
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love is adorable (once again you curtail lines, why?)
when it seeks (who, what is it?)
approval ((who's approval, a poem should not intrinsically require approval?)
I DO (I Blame Grace for the fucking awful tune that is interrupting me, ok, you do, but what does that mean, why does it matter?)
is the oracle (whoa is this a metaphor or a random jump?)
to the make up radical (Makes no sense)
art is magical (makes no sense)

but it is removal (What is???)
to the few (What??)
unlucky in the view (who, why, speak words of English mate)
that break up is true (oh so this is a break up poem? Boohoo, make it sharper and hurtier, and dirtier).
and so (would you like a fairy book?)
hope is to practice ( no it is not.)
till time is the artist (dunno what that means)
that's all is fantastic. (what is?)
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Old 10-12-2018, 04:32 PM
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Originally Posted by Chinspinner View Post
love is adorable (once again you curtail lines, why?)
when it seeks (who, what is it?)
approval ((who's approval, a poem should not intrinsically require approval?)
I DO (I Blame Grace for the fucking awful tune that is interrupting me, ok, you do, but what does that mean, why does it matter?)
is the oracle (whoa is this a metaphor or a random jump?)
to the make up radical (Makes no sense)
art is magical (makes no sense)

but it is removal (What is???)
to the few (What??)
unlucky in the view (who, why, speak words of English mate)
that break up is true (oh so this is a break up poem? Boohoo, make it sharper and hurtier, and dirtier).
and so (would you like a fairy book?)
hope is to practice ( no it is not.)
till time is the artist (dunno what that means)
that's all is fantastic. (what is?)
Overall, you loved it then?
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  #7  
Old 10-12-2018, 04:57 PM
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No, but I get increasingly annoyed at Nacia's inability to learn. It is like the Caterpillar that refuses the butterfly; after a while you accept that the wings won't fly, but you get bored of identifying it.
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Old 10-12-2018, 07:34 PM
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i like this. very fragmented. so deep. love CAN be adorable. hope is a virtue as well as a practice.
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