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agent Lane

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  #1  
Old 12-19-2009, 02:58 PM
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Default agent Lane


I am agent Lane, I work with the FBI. I am 30 years old, my work can get nasty, I donít really like getting violent but when I need to I will. I have been in the FBI for 4 years so the first few years have been a learning curve for me . I live in New York with my wife and a kid. I donít mind answering questionsbut I am a busy man. So sometimes it will take me a long time to answer all right. In my past I had a bad childhood, my dad beat me up like 3 times a week which isnít nice but I have moved on. Lately I been having big agreements with my wife at the moment I donít want to speak about it. I have a really bad temper and you wouldnít like to see it believe me. A week ago I put someone in hospital for a big reason. I am looking forward to talking you all.

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Old 12-19-2009, 04:30 PM
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Hello Agent Lane, it's nice to meet you.

Interesting...tell me, if you dislike violence and "nasty" business, why pursue a career in the FBI?
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Old 12-19-2009, 05:40 PM
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Hi Lane
So how did you get past the FBI psych screenings that pretty much weed out bad-tempered hotheads? * *
And what are you going to do now that you are fired for assault?

And how long have you know this crimewriter dood?
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Old 12-19-2009, 08:08 PM
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Hi, Lane!

So, why did you put this guy in the hospital? Is that sort of thing generally appreciated by the Bureau outside of work?

It's good to know you agree with your wife so much... different religious or political views can be pretty destructive to a marriage. How does one of your big agreements usually go? Maybe...

"...and so I think the pope should become president."

"YES HE SHOULD, DEAR! I AM FIRMLY IN FAVOUR OF SUCH A THING."

That big?
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Old 12-19-2009, 08:32 PM
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Hey, I'm sure if he put somebody in the hospital he had a perfectly big reason.
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Old 12-20-2009, 04:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Eclipse View Post
Hello Agent Lane, it's nice to meet you.

Interesting...tell me, if you dislike violence and "nasty" business, why pursue a career in the FBI?
Yeah it is nice to meet you to. Well I hate crime in the city so that is the reson I joined the FBI, but I have really bad temepar
Originally Posted by Lin View Post
Hi Lane
So how did you get past the FBI psych screenings that pretty much weed out bad-tempered hotheads? * *
And what are you going to do now that you are fired for assault?
I was calm at the screening and it was oredered by my boss so I not firedby my boss
And how long have you know this crimewriter dood?
Originally Posted by Winterbite View Post
Hi, Lane!

So, why did you put this guy in the hospital? Is that sort of thing generally appreciated by the Bureau outside of work?

It's good to know you agree with your wife so much... different religious or political views can be pretty destructive to a marriage. How does one of your big agreements usually go? Maybe...

"...and so I think the pope should become president."
He put a gun on my wife so I overreacted and beat him to a pulp but he is alive just
"YES HE SHOULD, DEAR! I AM FIRMLY IN FAVOUR OF SUCH A THING."

That big?
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Old 12-20-2009, 04:54 AM
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Originally Posted by Lin View Post
Hi Lane
So how did you get past the FBI psych screenings that pretty much weed out bad-tempered hotheads? * *
And what are you going to do now that you are fired for assault?

And how long have you know this crimewriter dood?
Well I wasn't fired and I was calm at the screening
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  #8  
Old 12-20-2009, 06:59 AM
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You mean the screening that takes months and uses sophisticated testing and deep background vetting?
Or did you just start being a violent asshole after getting into the Bureau?
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Old 12-20-2009, 07:39 AM
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Originally Posted by Lin View Post
You mean the screening that takes months and uses sophisticated testing and deep background vetting?
Or did you just start being a violent asshole after getting into the Bureau?
Well 2 years after i got in the Bureau I started being a violent man
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:46 AM
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Boy, good thing they're not very good about finding out about criminal activity.
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Old 12-20-2009, 11:14 AM
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"I live in New York with my wife and a kid. "
The kid related to you?
I assume the FBI doesn't test SPaG.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that you're a teen fantasy writer wannabe.
Don't hit me.
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  #12  
Old 12-20-2009, 11:28 AM
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So I have a few questions...perhaps I'm just not thinking clearly or this is a joke BUT here goes.

1. What is the point of your post? Is this a character in a book you're writing or are you just posting to post.

2. What does your post have to do with character clinics.
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  #13  
Old 12-20-2009, 12:48 PM
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HeatherLynn, that's what the character clinics are. *You come in a essentially portray one of your characters in a Q&A session designed to be fun and to help develop the character.

crimewriter has been around before. *There have been debates on whether he is playing a joke or actually some sort of literary Rain Man. **
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Old 12-20-2009, 05:56 PM
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Ahhhhh okay.

I understand now. So does SPaG matter here? Or is it portray the character completely (aka if said character is a complete moron portray him/her as a complete moron).
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Old 12-20-2009, 08:09 PM
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I think you've already seen that demonstrated
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Old 12-21-2009, 08:11 AM
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You'll probably assume I'm a big moron for this one, but...what is SPaG? Another word for S p a m?
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  #17  
Old 12-21-2009, 08:39 AM
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Self Publishing a Goof?
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Eclipse View Post
You'll probably assume I'm a big moron for this one, but...what is SPaG? Another word for S p a m?
Spelling, Punctuation, and Grammar.
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:24 AM
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  • You must be under 37 years of age when you're hired but at least 23 years of age.
  • Have a driver's license in a US state.
  • Have a minimum of a Bachelors degree from an accredited four-year university
  • Be physically able to complete the training and execute the duties. This includes the ability to fight, complete firearms training, and other duties as required. You should consider yourself physically fit.
  • You should be able to transition into one of the following areas of expertise:
    • Law (Must also possess a Juris Doctor)
    • Language (Must be proficient in a language and able to pass the FBI language exam)
    • Accounting (Must major in Accounting and be able to pass the CPA exam or FBI equivilant)
    • Diversified duties (require an advanced degree with work experience or a minimum of 3 years of work experience)
  • A three-year commitment is required when you accept employment.
This is just the first step towards becoming an FBI agent. There are various other tests conducted, such as extensive background checks, polygraphs, stress management, and a drug test. Let's just say that you don't make into the hallowed halls of Quantico by being what you are at present, Agent Lane.
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Old 12-21-2009, 09:41 AM
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Default Some considerations--highlighted:

Originally Posted by crimewriter View Post
I am agent Lane, I work with the FBI. I am 30 years old, my work can get nasty, I don’t really like getting violent but when I need to I will. I have been in the FBI for 4 years so the first few years have been a learning curve for me . I live in New York with my wife and a kid. I don’t mind answering questionsbut I am a busy man. So sometimes it will take me a long time to answer all right. In my past I had a bad childhood, my dad beat me up like 3 times a week which isn’t nice but I have moved on. Lately I been having big agreements with my wife at the moment I don’t want to speak about it. I have a really bad temper and you wouldn’t like to see it believe me. A week ago I put someone in hospital for a big reason. I am looking forward to talking you all.
Best guess: A teenager in the U.K. and living at home. If this is an introductory fiction piece, it sucks, even as fantasy.

Last edited by Paco; 12-21-2009 at 10:38 AM..
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  #21  
Old 12-29-2009, 09:56 PM
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Default i noticed this too

There's something distinctly odd about your wording.

If you wrote this deliberately, I'm guessing you want to stress that:
that kid isn't yours
nor your wife's
but somebody you picked up off the street. Like Dick Tracy, Tess Trueheart and The Kid.

Since I'm into writing humor, if I was writing this I would literally mean a kid - a goat.

Originally Posted by Paco View Post
"I live in New York with my wife and a kid. "
The kid related to you?
I assume the FBI doesn't test SPaG.
I'll go out on a limb here and say that you're a teen fantasy writer wannabe.
Don't hit me.
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  #22  
Old 12-30-2009, 05:30 AM
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Sounds like a menage a trois. * Heavy on the menagerie
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  #23  
Old 12-30-2009, 08:03 AM
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More like menage a trolls.

Anyone noticed crimewriter never follows up his own threads for long?
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  #24  
Old 12-30-2009, 05:20 PM
Lin
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I think it's some geek game they play under a bridge somewhere. * The more responses they can get, the more points.

You're number 23


I am the walrus
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Old 12-30-2009, 06:15 PM
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But if it's a "they", it would be more than one person, right? So who are they?
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Old 01-02-2010, 08:22 AM
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I must be dumb but i didnt get what this stuff is all about..
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  #27  
Old 01-02-2010, 08:43 AM
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I'm thinking Agent Lane might actually be an address.
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  #28  
Old 01-03-2010, 04:14 PM
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More like Agent Lame - but why dwell on the past? Look to the future. And uh, more... lively threads.
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  #29  
Old 01-03-2010, 05:38 PM
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No, no. This is a great mystery. Crazy people want to know. Come out thou shadow, and let us see thy true self.
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Old 01-04-2010, 03:55 AM
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Originally Posted by crimewriter View Post
Well 2 years after i got in the Bureau I started being a violent man
Doesn't the Bureau do its standard probationary period for the first two years? How did you get past that?
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