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  #6331  
Old 10-08-2018, 12:10 AM
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repost from elsewhere


next day and her doctor's appointment awaits, and although the goblin has been ready for it for hours, time has decided to dragged its feet in reluctance to move forward, to which the goblin confided in the wait "...well, I guess I want to know what I should do if she goes downhill for real, how do other spouses balance their lives between commitments like work per se, and they're either looking after their partner at home or visiting them daily in the hospice, though I guess in my case it's probably that wait to see what she wants...", the day outside was an indian summer, simply the goblin in his heart so much wanted to return to those earlier easier times of before the blackmail at home and stuff like officegirl at work, sighing "...but time can't go back, any more than it can be pushed forward either, meaning I just have to live in and put up with this present, but live I will I promise, yet tell me "what for" is how I feel always..."



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  #6332  
Old 10-08-2018, 12:15 AM
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repost from elsewhere

"...well getting to the hospital the pre-appointment was the usual blood test with other such formalities lasting an hour or so, but the appointment itself was relatively quick here, where the always friendly latin doctors quickly explained that her whole treatment had been quite counter productive, simply it did more harm than good, and that she needn't do her last four hour chemotherapy tomorrow, though having said this much he then went on say that the captain would still be under observation though,and that she had to take her various medications faithfully enough, and that she generally had to look after herself too...", voiced the exalted goblin whose captain admitted later that felt rather like someone who had been released from prison early on good behavior, and then the goblin smiled to himself relating here"...so until that blackmailer returns all will be as forgotten, me on the other hand will not revert to the man I was before this happened though, ah no, it's still as mindset of "slim down, muscle up and have sex", just not outside my marriage though, nor within my marriage neither, no I must learn to love without making love it seems..."


Last edited by fleamailman; 10-08-2018 at 12:35 AM..
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  #6333  
Old 10-08-2018, 12:19 AM
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("...no long before this thread makes half a million views then..." smiled the goblin thanking everyone for keeping there thread going over the years, then adding "...each time you repost something here it edits it into something more you to yourself or whatever you were getting at, being the point of this thread to me...")


repost from elsewhere, chatting to anna in one of her down moments

"...tell me why you feel in freefall then, btw can you not see that I'm a postaholic, nevermind I mean I could no more stop posting here than change my spots now..." promised the goblin wondering what spots he had though, yet liking being reminded that anna was a woman thoughout, then smiling "...if we ever meet, that will be when you'll merely become whatever I see by it, yet here you are anna, miss whoeveryouare to me now, so what should I do now to keep you here, suffice to say I'm yours by these posts anyway..."


xxxx 6332 491065

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  #6334  
Old 10-08-2018, 01:46 PM
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Rapid is a sounder song
Recovering with Balm—
All mine—
Although they now depart,
Said I—to dreary Heart
'Twas mine.
In a serener morn
Though broken esprit torn
I hear
Every long face
Every struggle here
Replaced by Birds—

Heard I simple Birds in spring
Whose songs became mine to sing—
But while summer approaches—
And while the violets appear,
Sparrow leaves,
Still, I do not mourn
Trusting those Birds of mine
Though gone—
Shall bring from yonder Sea
Harmony new for me
And will reexamine—
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  #6335  
Old 10-08-2018, 09:54 PM
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I serve a King whose lips are sealed—
Come again—to reconsider—how the hours meet—
I plod along, the day is gone—
Half mad when I must go to sleep
Given that the Birds will sing
To awaken me
Thru Rooms, shut all night.

And as I wake—when Dawn arrives—
’Tis the sound of a hundred voices
Round the parlor go
And songs and yells fill in the horizon
And Bells keep rolling
From Cathedrals in my Soul.
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  #6336  
Old 10-08-2018, 11:07 PM
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If the hushed lull is Volcanic
In Humanity’s race
When upon a twinge Titanic
People stay their Space—

I’d never been to a Volcano
But as Historians relay
How the aged, apathetic mountain
As a rule, commonly slumber—

Deliver mentally—the Law
Arms and smokes and flames—
Eats whole Towns for brunch,
And leaves the screen alone—

Whenever the pain afire
Will not outlive and conquer—
And the trembling Vines
To the dirt be tossed,

When doting connoisseur,
On Renewal’s Day,
Should cry with joy, “Altar"
To the Dunes retire—
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  #6337  
Old 10-09-2018, 02:21 AM
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repost from elsewhere

the goblin for his part was dreading going back to work tomorrow, somehow the idea of officegirl and newguy together was something commendable in itself but really annoying in terms of just focusing on his work alone, and not wondering what they'll say to him, or more to the point what they might demand of him too, he hated threats and constraints, plus he hated what he might say then regret, adding "...until officegirl came along I was happily resigned as being an old man passed my prime, as someone invisible then, now though, although I don't want her per se, I want someone to reassure me even if my old age that I'm still worth it...", in fact, the goblin could have turned officegirl into his mistress and himself into her sugardaddy, no he had the means to, but he had thought better of it at the time, as these things never end cleanly, plus he didn't want to send her down that path even if that might have been her intention all along in asking him, repeating "...moreover, if I had been a sexual failure then everyone else would have got to know of it by now, I mean I haven't done it in years, and my wife's is what she is too...", the morning was a day of doing nothing very much, the afternoon was going somewhere with the captain, the evening would be the disco again, no hook ups though, and the bed would be cold upon his return

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  #6338  
Old 10-09-2018, 02:30 AM
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repost from elsewhere, a continuation of the above

"...yes, friendzones are always best avoided, they're dogzones made worse when the woman wants to keep one there letting her friends know that one is her dog..." related the goblin, adding "...so what's my endgame, I guess I'm in a bind, I mean I tried to get close to my wife last night but her operation hurts so it was just me cuddling her in comfort then my returning to my side of the bed, meanwhile part of me understands that she might not be there much longer for all her doctor's kind words and smiles, so part of me is readying for a time post wife, and no I don't want to be alone, which doesn't mean that I'll outlive her, or that I'll find someone neither, meaning again that I might grow used to this becoming resentful in the process, then again, feck it I might do what so many men do when their wives die letting myself go, in the end it's not the sex in itself it's having someone who consents to me, no I want to be loved and don't feel I am...", and yes, the goblin was not looking forward to work, somehow officegirl would remind him of what he had just related here, at which point the goblin just looked up at the sky and asked "...either turn back the clock to the me before, or fast forward it quickly, yes anything but now here please, just let this moment pass into one scenario or another for my life is so held to ransom as it is..." nothing changed though, no reply came, and as always the captain's blackmailer just looked on at him saying nothing as if quite indifferent


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  #6339  
Old 10-09-2018, 02:45 AM
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repost from elsewhere

"...I really feel for you now, so I'll be here just always and ever, promise..." mentioned the goblin listening, grateful that anna had shared herself her problems here, then adding "...well, I'm an emotional wreck myself but when I hear your problems I kind of remind myself that my problems are smaller than yours are, or more simply mine are more long term I guess...", yet the goblin hoped that anna would sort it out though, he knew that each time to date when it had seemed like the very brink somehow anna had won against it all, smiling "...don't give up, keep me posted, and win this one too...", and with that the goblin was off to the disco once more, if he didn't go his worries would start gnawing away at him up again, relating "...naah, I wasn't unfaithful but my heart in constantly wanting her was unfaithful, now I'm teaching my heart to know its place, big battle inside over many nights it seems, and tomorrow I go back to work, no I love my work but I don't want to be there like this, change the topic anna, let's go elsewhere where anywhere will do..."

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  #6340  
Old 10-09-2018, 12:41 PM
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Originally Posted by fleamailman View Post
repost from elsewhere, a continuation of the above

"...yes, friendzones are always best avoided, they're dogzones made worse when the woman wants to keep one there letting her friends know that one is her dog..." related the goblin, adding "...so what's my endgame, I guess I'm in a bind, I mean I tried to get close to my wife last night but her operation hurts so it was just me cuddling her in comfort then my returning to my side of the bed, meanwhile part of me understands that she might not be there much longer for all her doctor's kind words and smiles, so part of me is readying for a time post wife, and no I don't want to be alone, which doesn't mean that I'll outlive her, or that I'll find someone neither, meaning again that I might grow used to this becoming resentful in the process, then again, feck it I might do what so many men do when their wives die letting myself go, in the end it's not the sex in itself it's having someone who consents to me, no I want to be loved and don't feel I am...", and yes, the goblin was not looking forward to work, somehow officegirl would remind him of what he had just related here, at which point the goblin just looked up at the sky and asked "...either turn back the clock to the me before, or fast forward it quickly, yes anything but now here please, just let this moment pass into one scenario or another for my life is so held to ransom as it is..." nothing changed though, no reply came, and as always the captain's blackmailer just looked on at him saying nothing as if quite indifferent
"...cancer’s a bitch. It strips you of your ego and your pride, and leaves you lying naked and alone, helpless on a cold, hard table. It examines your plans (acts like it’s never seen such good plans), scrutinizes your doctors’ credentials (acts impressed), and then it laughs and laughs and laughs as it skips on down the road, leaving you to fend for yourself. Then it comes back, grabs you by your pitiful, wasted-away, scrawny little arms, and shakes you, threatening to never leave you. Cancer’s a bitch, and you’re its bitch, until it lets you go..."
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  #6341  
Old 10-09-2018, 03:34 PM
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To give—one life have I—
And repeat it here,—
Nor the grand—Syllable, but there
Banished—and resolved;
Nor chased away from other worlds
Now the Orchard new,
Save for depths,—
Extents broken—of You!
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  #6342  
Old 10-09-2018, 10:46 PM
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I shall not declare it to the—Streets—
The stores would checkmate me
Lest one demure—quell—
Should have the face so ready;
I need’nt advise my Orchard
Lest it should outwit me;
All told, I haven't vim now—
To inform the pretty Bee;—

Hills must not learn of it—
Where I have ventured so—
Nor enjoin the loving meads
To-day—thus I may go
Nor stutter it at Dawn
Nor reckless of the Design
Clues within that Conundrum—
One shall move which day.
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  #6343  
Old 10-09-2018, 11:49 PM
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I heard a bird tweet indoors;
Stirring up my sleeping form—
’Twas like the stirring of a Breath
Outside reigning—a Hailstorm;

The shouts alit had been wrung tight,
And lungs built up and down—
Lest that young Charm take flight—
I witnessed Him in His—Hour—

I bequest'd my valuables,—Crest—
Which divvy of us that I
Should make memorable—but then—
He sought to fly

With bumbling drums—Hundreds
There rose high in the Sky
And then the shudders felt;
So met kinsman and I.—
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  #6344  
Old 10-10-2018, 12:34 AM
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The Day—is a Womb—
Night—a Festivity,
Time an Abyss—
The dawn,—pure Bliss!

Blessings—Devour
To the Gut
Thorough, the Hour
Until my Day—


(i love the goblin)<3
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  #6345  
Old 10-11-2018, 02:11 AM
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"...But cancer’s a bitch. It strips you of your ego and your pride, and leaves you lying naked and alone, helpless on a cold, hard table. It examines your plans (acts like it’s never seen such good plans), scrutinizes your doctors’ credentials (acts impressed), and then it laughs and laughs and laughs as it skips on down the road, leaving you to fend for yourself. Then it comes back, grabs you by your pitiful, wasted-away, scrawny little arms, and shakes you, threatening to never leave you. Cancer’s a bitch, and you’re its bitch, until it lets you go..."
"...it's never lets you go though, and even if my wife is still total in remission and looks as if she's untouched by her cancer still, its shadow hangs over us in silence, and for me as a bystander it's much like paris's choice save that those three goddesses this time around are "live" "die" or "remarry", and where it is not so much for me that choose one of those goddesses beforehand, no it's more like what actually happens and how I actually react to what happens that will be in part my choice upon my journey to self I suppose..." ventured the goblin knowing it was hard for a man not to go down with the ship, smiling "...no, I reassure myself that I won't go down with the ship, but the older one gets the more brittle one becomes, doesn't that explain why it's so common between old men and their spouses..."



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  #6346  
Old 10-11-2018, 06:45 PM
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To Love—is to discriminate against—
To Own, to be Partial—
I willed away my heirlooms,
And stuck my love in drawers—

Before the night goes dark
Before the Fences shut—
I’ll paint my Ivory face
And pretend to be someone—else...
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  #6347  
Old 10-11-2018, 07:28 PM
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Grabbed I such Gems in my hands,—
And fell asleep—
The moon was bright, all thru the night
So I thought ‘twould keep,

I awoke—and sought my trembling hands
The Gems not there
And now, a Radiant Retrospect
Is flashing in the Air.
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Old 10-12-2018, 07:29 PM
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I hole up—within my Garden
A flower in my hair—
Than dimmer from the Ewer,
You, unwary, seem to me—
A poetic Tragedy!
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  #6349  
Old 10-12-2018, 08:36 PM
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Kept I my vow
Yet was not visited—
Death hadn’t begged for me.
Yield I my apple Blossom.
I plead anon—
By each coy Butterfly—
By Daffodil pluckt from hilltops—
By Robin from eaves,
Their price, and mine—
’Twill verily enter anew—
That—Whole of Death—ripen.
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Old 10-13-2018, 06:45 AM
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I know a Venue—in which summer thrives—
Where a most adroit frost,
She, yearly, attends—her buttercups bis—
Chronicles hastily, “Lost."

But as the westerlies whisk the lake
And exert within the lane—
Summer disputes—in her break,
And then spills easy refrain

Into the Circuit—of firm sets—
And tang, and the Broth, she knew,
That gels faintly to regrets—
Unto her sunny shoe.—
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  #6351  
Old 10-13-2018, 08:14 AM
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I read tales—I should easily overlook—
Bereft of Immortality—
Surplus—whose Occasion's warning—
Would be Misery—

At least—a bare Number—
‘Twere curious—only just fills up Ten—
At first—the dull fly's Prospect
Could regularly outrun again—
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Old 10-13-2018, 02:20 PM
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I see an imposing House by the Road—
A Burglar might appreciate—
Timbered frame,
And Shades draped level
Appealing for—
A Verandah,
Whence many could connect—
Some—offer up the Range—
The others check in—
To confirm all's asleep—
How neat and tidy
The Kitchen would appear at eventide,—
Only a ticking of a grandfather Clock—
But by the licking of the Flame—
They might've gagged the sounds—
And Dogs wouldn’t bark—
And so, the Parapet—obliges—
None others—will—

A Blossom—in a Glass—
A pair of Lenses—no one stirred—
A Calendar's Reception—
Was it the Carpet—blinked,
Or a Timid, Ambitious Star?
The Moonlight glides to the stairs
To see who else is there;

There's loot—hand it here—
Stein, or Spoon, Necklaces—Gemstone
A timepiece—an amethyst Brooch
To suit the Grandmother—
Somber—asleep there—

Day—jounces—also—
Sly—and slow—
Sunlight's gotten just as far
As the second Birch
Utters the Ensemble
"Who's over there?"
And Replies—Trains away,
Decry—“Over here!"
As the old Couple, just about—roused,
Move toward Sunrise—ajar, swinging Door!
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  #6353  
Old 10-13-2018, 07:16 PM
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’Twere Dearthless Wells
Broad and buried for Summertides—
Whence Bog goes not away—
And Rubble—harmless rides—

’Tis built of Probes—and a Strap
A Strap of broken Ore
Trim with Sapphire—around and down,
And Crystal—inset along—

Had I no Pail—But were I wealthy—
A Kettle would I’ve to acquire—
Oftly parched am I—but my mouth
Is so dried up—Prior;

I Learned from an aged Text
Some of us shall thirst no longer—
The Wells must’ve Pails for them then—
’Tis alluded—I’m convinced;

Would We reminisce on Thirsting—there?
The Water seems quite persuading—
I think upon comely Wells—as Those—
Allow me Nearer, just to cognize!
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Old 10-14-2018, 03:59 PM
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I know at last what Love can bring—
How obtuse had I been
Now—clinging by Anything—
Nor Curses could demean;

Round our sacred Hearth—altogether—
A plan—along the Moon—
His Glance floods me, like Light
Or the deepest Ocean—

How Morn thru our Drapes—approaches—
How Birds—since we need songs—
And simple Laughter—they chime in
The Point of my Thesis—

And Chores—Twain—
While Recess be over with—
Your Damages—of the Days—
Than mine—a trifling effort—
A Swell—or a Decade—

The Noons—jointly prept—
And Dusk—by the Way—
Mutual Evenings to ebbing Shine—
Seen wealthy—for our takes—

And then, come again—
And then, far to tread—
A strange—unfamiliar fear—
Till Sunup takes us back to Routine—
Transfigured—to our Charge—

Tis best in Love—
And Love is good—
Yet how that House could stay—
Strikes me—as a Stage setting—
Like Dawn—enlivens me—
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Old 10-14-2018, 04:40 PM
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Agony is a Shame
When it is not needed—
For tis needed, sometimes,
In the Highest—of Stakes—
When Men toss—
Their way.—

Misery—is a Blessing
When one has been Ashamed—
Because ’twas—a Lesson—
That one can—
Grow from—

Deceitful are the Methods
That Life and Love
Shall instruct—
"By the pricking
Of my thumbs"—
Another Sunset this way comes—
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Old 10-14-2018, 06:35 PM
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I revel in watching it soak the lanes—
And bathe within the vales,—
And pause to dip itself in plains;—
—Thence, monumental, pour;
Round a stack of ranges,—
Then, insolent, creep.—
In sheds and cabins by Avenues;
Quests to shear off and strip—
To go with Views, and sneak atween,
Moaning the whole time—
From ghastly, grisly Verse;—
To race itself uphill—
And yell—the sons of Thunder;
Then, timely like the solar flare,—
Laud, tame and all-powerful—
Back inside its Aperture.—
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:33 PM
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I love him and I live with him—
I sleep not more alone—
Nor need of Visitors—
Love's single throne—

The Highest one—foreboding—
And thus—so fair that he
Owns the Rights irrevocable—
Nor Matrimony—accepted me—

I stand by him—I obey—
I feel his Company—some Way—
Bear Witness to the Stormy Weather
Nor would I go away—

Informed Me—in time—or Technique—
Daily like a routine—the lowest Day—
That Love as Ours—is Deathless—
Be Decisions—what they may—
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Old 10-14-2018, 09:49 PM
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Life is challenging;
Nobody ever said otherwise—
Having Love—
May change your mind.—

In the arms—of the same Seas—
We share a Claim—
The Right to Love
No matter who or what—

Here in New York,
You can love who you love—
Girls and girls, with boys and boys—
Like it’s been waiting for you—
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Old 10-14-2018, 10:00 PM
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I lived in Fear—a while;
’Twere some who knew
The Sting—the Spur was stopless
Peril—quite the Pitfall
My heart went numb like a Host
As 'twere a Needle—upon the Trigger—
Distress shall goad it where
Lasting beyond the Coffin's aid
Was hardship—and Despair—
Like Throes you see but can’t compare—
I bet I broke thru there.—
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Old 10-14-2018, 11:22 PM
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I new discovered—an entire World
Like none, just the other Day
One'd catch on by Trains of Glitter
Round its Shape bounden,

The Wealthy—cannot detect ’t—
Howeverso bright—to warier Sight,
Of more Honor than Minions—
O, help! I must share—you all!
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