Go Back   WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Fiction

Fiction Novel excerpts, short stories, etc.

Last Character Development.

Thread Tools
Old 08-30-2011, 07:05 AM
MentorsRiddle (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 122
Thanks: 0
Thanks 5
Default Last Character Development.

This will be my last character development that I allow myself to post. The rest of my characters have to remain secret for my book. Hope you like it.

The ancient dragon glided through the air, suspended miles above the war torn landscape below. His keen eyesight pierced through the thin layer of clouds below him, beholding the bloody events on the desert floor below.

How small the humans have become, the dragon thought to himself, smoke billowing out from his nostrils. Their societies rip their selves apart – even dumb beasts do not act as cruel.

His gigantic wings scooped the air around him, propelling his large muscular body upwards. He filled his lungs with air, which had the faint twinge of gunpowder and gasoline – angering the scaled giant even more.

He thought back to a time when the air was pure; how as a young dragon he had flown these very skies with his father. He drifted back to a distant past when the desert floor was once lush with vegetation, and remembered the flood that had wiped it all away – that flood that was a result of the last great magical war, over fifty thousand years ago.

The desert finally gave way to ocean, which was a dark blue green. The dragon’s stomach churned with hunger, and he began scanning the ocean below a midflight snack.

Even through the murky water the dragon could see his prey.

The whale traveled slowly about fifteen feet below the surface, its rubbery body gyrating up and down with the current. The dragon watched the whale herding a school of fish into a tight group, so it could go in for the kill.

Let the beast have its meal, thought the dragon. Then I shall have mine.

When the whale was finished, the dragon folded his wings tight to his body and propelled himself downwards. He struck the water like a falling star, his red scaled glittering in the sunlight. His claws extended from his massive feet, and sliced through the whale’s thick blubber.

The watery beast fought and thrashed his body against its attacker – but was simply overpowered. The dragon opened his jaws, and severed the spinal column of the animal with a single snip.

Dark red blood stained the ocean water, and the sharks began circling – waiting for the dragon to finish so they could salvage the remains.

A hour later the dragon launched his self from the ocean, directly in front of a large fishing boat, and resumed his long trek to North America.

He craned his thick neck backwards, and laughed at the fishermen on the boat. They were scrambling around the deck, trying to figure out what made the huge splash in the waters ahead….

If only they knew…. thought the dragon, laughing. If only they knew….

Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2011, 10:01 AM
donnaf (Offline)
Homer's Odyssey Was Nothing
Official Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,056
Thanks: 663
Thanks 219

I didn't really see anything that struck me as needing fixing. I think you have done an excellent job with this character. Many beautiful images there. This is part of something larger you say?
Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2011, 10:11 AM
MentorsRiddle (Offline)
Abnormally Articulate
Official Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 122
Thanks: 0
Thanks 5

Thank you for your compliments.

Yes, the characters I have been posting about are all part of a larger universe.

The most interesting characters I have not posted on - as I want to keep them secret until I can get my book published.

If I can get it published!

The series will be a young adult novel. Some of the ideas from the book, I admit, are a reimagining of stories.

Since I was a kid I have been a dreamer. I have always had a vivid imagination, and have dreamed up a world that I thought would be amazing to live in.

When I was in highschool I began to imagine this universe in more vivid context - adding characters, etc.

Untill now, years later, I have a world that exists only in my imagination - but yearns to be put to paper.

I my main hope is that wtih my stories I can encourage children to read.

If I can get one child or young adult to put down their video game controller, or turn off the T.V. for a moment and flip a page - then I have done what I sat out to do.
Reply With Quote

  WritersBeat.com > Write Here > Fiction

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Character background development Wyldfyre Writing Help & Issues 16 06-01-2010 09:07 AM
Please critique this chapter jpwrites Fiction 3 04-27-2010 11:27 AM
Character Development Exercises saizine Tips & Advice 11 11-22-2009 06:05 AM
Character Dialogue Winterbite General Writing 0 08-17-2009 07:58 PM
Handy How-to for Character Clinics Devon Character Clinics 0 01-13-2009 08:40 AM

All times are GMT -8. The time now is 05:39 PM.

vBulletin, Copyright © 2000-2006, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.