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Call for Submissions- FUK'd Movement Volume 1

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  #1  
Old 07-22-2015, 02:32 PM
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Default Call for Submissions- FUK'd Movement Volume 1


Yeah I'm trying to start my own magazine-- So what? And no I'm not trying to scalp members; I'm looking for a special breed of writers. Or at least, a special form of a writer's work.

As always, this is PG-13. Who would have thought?

Payment:
Let’s get payment out of the way. At this time we can only offer token payment of $5-$20 (depending on length and quality), but hopefully soon we can pay per word. What we can also offer is a complimentary free copy of the e-Zine as well as publicity for you the author. Your Social Media handles, Author’s Page, and Website will be featured under your story with a brief biography. We are brand new and hopefully the payment matter will change.

What we don’t want:
We don’t want some Charles Dickens quoting mother-fucker. Submit that shit somewhere else. There are plenty of opportunities out there. We don’t want someone who just learned to swear and wants to try out their new vulgar vocabulary; you have to know when to say fuck and when not to.

What we do want:
We want something good, but that’s a bit fucking ambiguous isn’t it? We want something you can’t find in traditional literary magazines. The future of language and literature is evolving and we need something that says that. Colloquial or just fucked up in general. Something you enjoy. Others may have refused it due to some arbitrary bullshit, but we aren’t hung-up on that. To put it simply, whatever you write that you enjoy, that gets you hard or wet.

Think voice in story telling; nothing is more powerful than first person POV, and an omniscient narrator is just as good. No list type second person unless the story is just too damn good. Talk to me as a reader.

Submission Guidelines:
Please keep Fiction and Non-Fiction under 5,000 words. If it is more you can submit it, but make sure it’s good and relevant. Always make sure it is relevant.

Please only 3 poems at a time. We may ask for more, but 3 should be enough to get a feeling for your craft.

For artwork please imagine Francis Bacon (the Artist not 'Sir') and Jack Kirby got together and gave each other handjobs. What would that look like? For cover, think Comic book not Magazine. Title "FUK'd Movement Presents" Subtitle "The Unpublishable" and make it issue 1. Look at a comic book cover for guidelines. Send no more than two.

For other artwork- please either make me laugh, want to vomit or make my asshole pucker. I would love cartoons, single panel, or any other art that makes me feel something. Send no more than four.

You can submit on our Website here, or if you do not want to join email me personally at Fukdmovement@gmail.com. Include “Submit” and the title of your work in the subject line. Only submit attachments if they are in Word Doc, or you can just copy and paste in the body of the email.

Multiple Submissions:
No. I have clearly stated what we want. And while we are on it, if we refuse we may ask you to send something else. If we don't- wait one week.

Simultaneous Submissions:
If you feel that your work can be published in another magazine, then we don't want it. Simple enough right?

Response Time:
Right now, since I will be online getting the website up and running, the response time should be rather quick. At the most under a week.

Rights:
We request first rights, upon publication you cannot submit anywhere else for three months.

Author Interview:

Now, if you are professionally published with a book deal and all that gravy- please Fuck Off! We want the authors crawling through the shit-soaked muck trying to get their creation out there. This does not limit promotions to only Independent Authors. There are plenty of Professionally Published Authors that are struggling, but it may take a bit to convince me.

If you are someone's Agent, Publicist or any other shit please just go back to Hell where you spawned. I only want to hear from the Author them-self. I'm not going to have my mother contact you so please act the same.

Of course, the novel/novella will have to meet our criteria before we accept it.

So, what is our criteria? Essentially I want something that will either make me laugh, vomit, or make my asshole pucker. Something visceral and raw. Your own fucking soul bled out on the page. Making me laugh is always a good-bet.

We can offer you a chance to include an excerpt and a link to the work. Feel free to ask for a review as well.

The questions we will ask:
So what's it about? Where'd you get the inspiration? What was it like writing?

Yeah- Fuck that!

We are going to ask you the real questions; what people really want to know. Drugs, what do you like? Toilet paper, one-ply or two? Whose tits are the best in Hollywood? All the real shit you know?

Deadline-- August 31, 2015

Thank You,
Connor Philips
Editor in Chief

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Last edited by daes13; 08-01-2015 at 03:30 AM..
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  #2  
Old 07-22-2015, 03:01 PM
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Will you accept submissions that were posted on a forum that was password protected and is no longer in operation?
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:05 PM
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Yes. I don't see why not. I even incorporated one of those "Members Only" forum thingys just for that as well.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:30 PM
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If I submit a poem that is up on this site will I be able to include it in a collected works when I lose money by self publishing?
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:33 PM
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For you Nick- Yes. We could make a deal and I could plug in a reference to your self-pub, as long as you don't break my arm on the fee.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:47 PM
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There. I sent you something. It might not be 'hard' enough, but it's pretty much unpublishable in most places. I registered for your website, but couldn't figure out how to submit through it. I sent it to the email. If it's not right for you, I expect a good 'fuck-off!' Rejection letter I can hang on my office wall.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by daes13 View Post
For you Nick- Yes. We could make a deal and I could plug in a reference to your self-pub, as long as you don't break my arm on the fee.

Don't sweat it. You can have my shit gratis. I know you are gonna lose your shirt with this idea but I think it is a good thing to do and I support things I believe in.

I know fuck nothing about sending stuff around the net. How about you simply go look at It was a sturdy barn over on the poetry page and tell me if that is something useful for the ... whatta I call it, an EZine?
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by brianpatrick View Post
There. I sent you something. It might not be 'hard' enough, but it's pretty much unpublishable in most places. I registered for your website, but couldn't figure out how to submit through it. I sent it to the email. If it's not right for you, I expect a good 'fuck-off!' Rejection letter I can hang on my office wall.
It's just creating a thread. Should be in the top right.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:00 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Don't sweat it. You can have my shit gratis. I know you are gonna lose your shirt with this idea but I think it is a good thing to do and I support things I believe in.

I know fuck nothing about sending stuff around the net. How about you simply go look at It was a sturdy barn over on the poetry page and tell me if that is something useful for the ... whatta I call it, an EZine?
Gonna have to teach Grandpa Nick about that there EnterNet... Heeeeh.

Send me a Pm and I'll feature it for you with a link to your Self-Pub. Since we're friends and all.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:02 PM
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It doesn't have to be 'hard' but unpublishable, now that I like.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:11 PM
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Yeah, I tried registering over there to move the submit thing along. It tells me my name is invalid (like this is the first time I have been dissed by internet systems - a tablet once screwed with me and had a unique afternoon in the sand with a pick ax before finding final resting places in 3 separate trash cans around downtown Fort Lauderdale- I like to think I've grown much calmer) so I'm givin' that plan a rest for now.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:18 PM
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Yeah, I don't know why it did that. No names or usage thereof are banned.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:24 PM
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Would you be interested in a story about a time of youthful innocence?

I entitle it Summer Fun. It's about a boy scout troop that spends two weeks in the Smokey Mountains camping and fishing and learning survival techniques at the hands of three Scout leaders.

All three are defrocked priests but as they told our parents they were innocent but decided to resign rather than cause any embarrassment to the church. My uncle Bruce called them men of conscious. I agree.

We learned a lot of cool shit. Lots of knot tying and CPR. My friend Teddy, a skinny blond haired kid, got a merit badge for keeping a secret.

How I got poison ivy on my balls is beyond me but the scout leaders were very concerned and attentive to my plight. Nice guys with lots of lotion.

Anyhow let me know if you can use the story. I'm not sure what the appropriate usage of fuck would be but I heard it a lot at night coming from different tents.

Good luck with the ezine.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:35 PM
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I would definitely take that story, but I feel it works better just as it is. Maybe you could write the Foreword?
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:56 PM
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Then you may want to swap (in Gaines' text) conscious for conscience.

I dunno.
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:19 AM
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I don't know if there would be any artists around, but we are also looking for a cover design and general artwork. I modified the original post.
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post
Then you may want to swap (in Gaines' text) conscious for conscience.

I dunno.

Great point but I am not going to use that word in the story. Something about it looked fishy and sure enough there was. Normally I don't bother with spill check in my posts but apparently some do. Wow.
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Old 07-23-2015, 02:49 PM
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I think it's spelcheck. German word.
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Old 07-23-2015, 03:02 PM
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Appropriate spellings have been jumping out at me from an early age. I spent many years in therapy blurring my vision to remedy this. However, now that I can no longer afford the medication (freakin' DUI costs broke me) my eyesight has cleared and the malady is still present.

I'm regarding it as a blessing and a curse.

Kinda like bein' able to lick my eyebrows.
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Old 07-23-2015, 11:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Nick Pierce View Post


Kinda like bein' able to lick my eyebrows.



Back off the roids!
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Old 07-24-2015, 02:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Gaines View Post
Back off the roids!
Had them cut out years ago.

Been sittin' pretty ever since.
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Old 02-23-2016, 09:37 PM
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Old 08-13-2016, 08:19 AM
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Would you accept non-fiction if it made you really angry? Would you serialize a longer segment? I've written a book about how, why, and when the Supreme Court said the Constitution is unconstitutional (because it harmed the banksters). I'm not looking for money. I'm looking for a way to get people to see how FUK'd up America is.
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Old 08-20-2016, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Gail View Post

I'm looking for a way to get people to see how FUK'd up America is.

Observing the current president election process does not suffice?
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